Background: I had been browsing pics of girls online and saw J. She didn't have much in her profile, so my first thought was "scammer," but then I remember someone saying good Filipinas tend to be shy. She's pretty and had enough online for me to know we have things in common, especially computer science. I took and chance and messaged her, and she replied. Our initial conversations on the site were great, we clicked, chemistry, not hormones, were working, we had things in common, we could talk about tech, her degree, etc. We chatted more and then shifted the conversations to our personal email addresses. She sent g rated pics to me and I did the same. We moved pretty quickly from there to calls and she would log into YM at work.
Phone cards were adding up, so we talked about other ways to communicate. She'd told me all along that she didn’t have a lot of money and only had a basic phone. She also said what she makes really only covers her basic needs. She'd been very diligent at responding to emails, being on YM at work, and she'd answer my calls, even when she wasn't expecting me to call. I'd read the horror stories online, so I went into Filipina dating a little suspicious and I was always vetting what J said to me. That's why I would call at unexpected times, ask questions, etc. I also paid attention to see if she was copying/pasting, or really listening and responding. Our email chats seemed to match our phone chats, so no bait and switch.
For the most part, things seemed to be going well and I only had a couple concerns. I'd asked her about going to an Internet cafe so we could video chat, but she said she wasn't comfortable going into those due to guys staring at her. We needed talking about how some Filipinas would scam people for money and she asked me if I had concerns. I was honest with her about my concerns and explained everything. We'd already talked about ways we could stay in touch more often, without needing a lot of phone cards. She looked into options and we agreed to her getting a new phone and a Wi-Fi hotspot. I know what you're going to say, very dumb move on my part, and you may be right.
Of course the day she was supposed to get the phone and hotspot, she wasn't answering her phone or texts. She finally answered and told me what she did; she sent the money to her family, because her father needed it for diabetes medicine. I've heard that medicine can be tough to get in the province and people will have to pay for it themselves. She said she didn’t answer because she felt so guilty and was afraid she'd lose me. Her story was consistent no matter how she told it, she seemed very sincere, she also kept going on and on about how guilty she felt, how she should've just bought the phone because now I won't trust her, etc., so I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
I told her that I'd never again send her any money, not even one Peso, because of what she did. She said she knew and told me again that she isn't talking to me for money, and wanted to keep talking. That’s what she’s said all along, that she isn’t looking for money, and we have had real conversations. I’ve never had such an easy and relatable conversation with any other Filipina. We've talked a couple times since that very recent incident and she still goes on about how the money was for the phone, how she did such a bad thing, and she's afraid she'll lose me. She also now mentions her concern for her family regularly, how she hasn’t been home in a year, and how she misses them. She then adds that she won’t take money from me, but wishes she could get work in her field so she had more money for her family.
She’d been consistent and I’d developed feeling for hers, which were okay, till the recent issue. Either she deserves an Academy Award, or she’s a sincere girl that’s pressured to deliver money to her family, or the truth is somewhere in between. How do I find the truth?
