Winston's Trilemma - What to do? Where to go?

[Winston]

I sent these questions to an online Vietnamese psychic:

"I’m at a crossroads now. I want to go to China to find a wife because I’m past the age of marrying already, and find Chinese women the most attractive. But they are also very materialistic and practical, whereas I’m not like that. So I’m not sure compatible that option is.
I also want to go to Europe because I feel like I’ve lived there before and feel more at home there and connect better with people/culture there. However, European girls tend to be taller than me and not as interested in Asian men, so it’s hard for me to find a girlfriend there. White girls tend to prefer tall athletic white guys.
I seem to do best with girls in the Philippines. But the problem with that is that I’m not as attracted to Filipino girls, and they seem to be more interested in money, not love, especially when it comes to foreigners. I like Filipino girls as short term girlfriends and fun only, but not for long term marriage.
So I am wondering: Where should I go? To China, Europe or Philippines? Where should I live and settle down? I’m not sure because each option has pros and cons. Or is there somewhere better for me than all these choices? (How about your country of Vietnam? People also say it’s good for finding a wife.)"

His reply:

"Hi Winston,
You understand the cons and pros while living in China and Europe.
You feel more at home and connect better with people/culture in Europe. European girls tend to be taller and not as interested in Asian men, so it’s hard for you to find a girlfriend there. THIS IS PLACE THAT YOU SHOULD LIVE.
You are not as attracted to Filipino girls. THIS IS NOT PLACE TO FIND GIRLFRIEND.
You want to go to China to find a wife and find attractive Chinese women. But they are also very materialistic and practical. THIS IS PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR WIFE. BUT:
1. ATTRACTIVE CHINESE WOMEN ARE NOT FOR YOU, THEY ARE FOR MILLIONAIRES. YOU CAN LOOK MORE EASILY FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN.
2. “MOST” WOMEN ARE MATERIALISTIC AND PRACTICAL, TRUE, SAME WITH MEN LIKE BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WOMAN, YOU SHOULD ACCEPT THIS FACT.
IF YOU LOOK FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN AND ACCEPT THEIR MATERIALISTIC, YOU WILL HAVE MORE CHANCES IN CHINA, VIETNAM, OR ANY ASIA COUNTRIES, MARRIAGE AGENCY MAY HELP. THEN TAKE HER TO EUROPE TO LIVE WITH YOU.
But if you want a beautiful woman, love you truthfully, good luck…"


What do you all think? What's the best solution for me? What's the best solution to this trilemma of mine, or three way dilemma?

It seems that my soul and body and race are mismatched, hence the complexity of my life and why I don't fit in squarely in either West or East. It's a sort of Murphy's Law, being between a rock and a hard place all the time.

[Johnny1975]

Go for a chinese filipina, or try to find a very short european girl.

Also...

https://www.bugarrishoes.com/?languageID=en
http://www.tallmenshoes.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilts

[El_Caudillo]

Europe is very general, I assume you are not taking about setting up in say...Switzerland - What about doing a tour of Eastern Europe and then jumping on the trans-Siberian to Beijing, with a stop off in Mongolia? Such a tour would certainly invigorate this site...and in fact by writing down your observations you may be completing your mission on earth.

[desembarazarse]

White girls tend to prefer tall athletic white guys.

I think the next place you should go is the gym
(you won't change your height, of course, but you can become athletic)

[Lorenzo]

Winston,

Marriage = compromise...a lot of it! You have to accept the good with the bad and hopefully the bad is quite tolerable. Sounds like a Chinese lady is your destiny, and China is the best place to find one. Materialism is everywhere, can you really blame those cute Chinese girls for wanting to enhance their life and image? Seems to me many are workaholics so they just need to know you are not willing to sacrifice and kill yourself. Given your online presence you should have access to a small pot of gold. The ones I met would have made great wife material but in the end I didn't quite find the right one. So what I'm saying is that it is not the girls, it's you that is holding back

[MarcosZeitola]

I don't think you will ever be married, Winston. It will limit you too much. You just posted a long article about why you regret having a child, and from what you have shared about your life and personality so far (which is quite a lot!) it is pretty obvious commitment is not your thing. No matter how much of a dream girl you find, you will end up finding flaws in her. You will be temporarily blinded to them, then once you see them your interest will lessen, your love will disappear and your eyes will start to wander...

You are not a man who is fit for marriage, or fatherhood, or even a long-term committed relationship. Because from your writings, you come across as a horny teenager. Even though you are already 43, you are still a horny teenager at heart. In other posts you have admitted to never being able to dump Dianne, which means technically speaking you are still in a relationship with your baby momma. At the same time, you are dating around in China and the Philippines. Essentially, you are a cheater, because you never had the balls to own up to your lifestyle choices and break up with Angelo's mother.

How many Chinese women, who are so smart and intelligent and materialistic according to you, would settle down with a 43 year old philanderer who has a gf and son already? I mean, you always say Chinese women are logical, calculating and clever. A clever woman would not want to marry you. That leaves you with either Filipina bar girls, or less-bright girls from China. I would not count out Europe either, although standards of living in Western Europe are so ridiculously high you would have a very hard time finding a woman who would see you as a "step up".

Lets face it, Winston, you are:

-43 years old
-short and dumpy
-not particularly handsome
-a known cheater, bit of a manwhore
-a lousy and mostly absent father
-outspoken with some controversial views which any woman you might date can find online

Ask yourself, if you were a beautiful clever Chinese woman, a high quality Filipina or a sweet intelligent European girl... would you date Winston Wu? Would you marry Winston Wu, or have his kids, given his track record (which you can easily google)? I wouldn't.

I think you should just continue to do, what you are doing right now - be a free agent, travel the world, date and sleep with as many young, beautiful and interesting women as you can find and get with. Is your life, right now, so bad? I don't believe it is. If you feel something is missing, it could be a void only a relationship can fill. Maybe you really do need true love, but I feel like if you found it, you would not be able to keep it. Time and time again, you have shown your inability to keep a woman. You're a bit like a male Jennifer Aniston or Halle Berry, who can't keep a man. Winston Wu, can't keep a woman. So why keep looking for what you know will eventually escape you?

[Johnny1975]

Work out and get fit, and dress better. More Bruce Lee, less Buddha. Consider doing your hair like in your avatar. You would actually look quite dashing. I've always thought your voice was quite cool, but maybe if you try to speak in a slightly lower tone it would be even better.

Learn to compromise and prioritize.

See your son more, and teach him something. It's not like you don't have any life experience. Do some travelling with him. You'll regret it when you're older if you don't.

Monetize this site better and increase your income. Do other stuff to earn more money. Do a podcast, write more books.

Be more discreet about your personal life.

Don't be so anal about arguing every point with people. Learn to understand why someone is saying something, and speak to that. Take a step back, think holistically. Don't belabour every point.

In other words, increase your market value, be cooler, and get your priorities in order. All this is doable. You've managed to do what many people don't. You've travelled, you've dated a lot, you've started this site, you should have more to show for it. Technically, you're a self made man, an entrepreneur, a philosopher, thinker, adventurer, womanizer, on paper you're high value. But something isn't quite all there in reality. Fix that, and you should be better off in all aspects of life. Like I say, it's all doable.

[Yohan]

What do you all think? What's the best solution for me? What's the best solution to this trilemma of mine, or three way dilemma?
.....
It seems that my soul and body and race are mismatched, hence the complexity of my life and why I don't fit in squarely in either West or East

Many Asian-American feel they do not fit really into USA, however they also feel they do not belong really to Asia....

You cannot live just here and there, simply said you have to decide, either Asia or USA.
The question is where do you want to live in future? Where are you able to live in future without running out of money?

I cannot give any advice about Europe, except that I do not want to live there out of various reasons, I left Europe decades ago.

In general, women in Europe are not good marriage material, often have multiple boyfriends, no self-control, there are too many men and by far not enough women around. Most immigrants are young men from Africa, Turkey and such countries and Western women like that. If you bring a woman into Europe, she will leave you soon.

I would never bring any Asian woman to USA or Europe for marriage, this is the best recipe for divorce.
If you want to live with an Asian woman you should live in Asia.

About which kind of woman? For sure you need a woman who does not want children or who cannot bear children out of whatever reason. You are unfit to be a father, a fact. About Philippines, you consider these women as inferior, you found one girl willing to be with you and you left her despite she did nothing bad to you.

Nationality, language? It seems you are only looking for women in China - good luck with that, should be easy - I see no problems for you as you know China already, you have been there.

My opinion, move out of USA and live in China.

There might be other Asian countries too which are maybe interesting to consider, you mentioned Vietnam, but I do not think it's a good place for a Chinese man.

[Banano]

Remember that man age like a wine and you Winnie age like a goat cheese ,you are only 40 something...in PH the older the better

[gnosis]

Winston,

I think you should just go to China. Your online income should be sufficient for living there. From what you've written about Filipinas, I do not think you will ever really be content to marry one, but I think your dream of a Chinese wife is achievable.

[gsjackson]

Work out and get fit, and dress better. More Bruce Lee, less Buddha. Consider doing your hair like in your avatar. You would actually look quite dashing. I've always thought your voice was quite cool, but maybe if you try to speak in a slightly lower tone it would be even better.

Learn to compromise and prioritize.

See your son more, and teach him something. It's not like you don't have any life experience. Do some travelling with him. You'll regret it when you're older if you don't.

Monetize this site better and increase your income. Do other stuff to earn more money. Do a podcast, write more books.

Be more discreet about your personal life.

Don't be so anal about arguing every point with people. Learn to understand why someone is saying something, and speak to that. Take a step back, think holistically. Don't belabour every point.

In other words, increase your market value, be cooler, and get your priorities in order. All this is doable. You've managed to do what many people don't. You've travelled, you've dated a lot, you've started this site, you should have more to show for it. Technically, you're a self made man, an entrepreneur, a philosopher, thinker, adventurer, womanizer, on paper you're high value. But something isn't quite all there in reality. Fix that, and you should be better off in all aspects of life. Like I say, it's all doable.

+1. An excellent assessment.

[chanta76]

Winston,

Don't get married. Just monger as best you can. Try to make as money as you can and as you get older be a sugar daddy to some girl. I don't think marriage is your thing. You want to believe in romantic love but I really think you have this wanderlust in you where you can't help yourself.

[Ghost]

...

[chanta76]

In some sense I understand Winston. I think he wants that James Bond life style. I mean who wouldn't. I think we all do if we can. Being adventurous and living the life. Getting girls easily that wants to be our personal slut and loyal girlfriends. However, realistically that's very hard to get. I think only the top 10% of guys can pull it off. Guys who are good looking and successful in their field.

[Winston]

Go for a chinese filipina, or try to find a very short european girl.

Also...

https://www.bugarrishoes.com/?languageID=en
http://www.tallmenshoes.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stilts

I would love to buy those tall men's shoes online. However, the problem is that you gotta try on shoes before you buy them. Some shoes, if the shape doesn't fit your foot, will hurt your toes and can't be worn. There's no way to know how comfortable they are without trying them on. You can't do that online. Furthermore, shoes like clothes, may look great from afar but not necessarily great on you. You know what I mean? Some shoes and clothes look great on the shelf or on the rack, but not so great when you try them on. They don't fit your look. So it's too much of a risk to buy shoes or clothes online.

How do you find stores in real life that have tall men's shoes? Is there a web directory of them?