Winston's Trilemma - What to do? Where to go?

[WorldTraveler]

Winston, I have your solution. You like the white intellectual girls of Eastern Europe, but find it difficult to find thee ones interested in you. You should go on A Foreign Affair or Dream Connections trip to find a wife. I think the extra money you'd have to pay vs. schleping through Ukraine on your own would be worth it. The important fact is that they pre-screen the girls to find marriage minded girls. I think you could find a good wife. I'm sure they'd give you a discount since you advertised them for so many years. If not, so what, you're looking for wife, not the cheapest used car you can find.

[momopi]

? What's stopping you from visiting both Europe and China?

Also, if someone knows your name and previous city of residence (in US), it's not hard to find your age.

Background search reports are avail for as low as $2.

[The_Adventurer]

[Winston]

Lets face it, Winston, you are:

-43 years old
-short and dumpy
-not particularly handsome
-a known cheater, bit of a manwhore
-a lousy and mostly absent father
-outspoken with some controversial views which any woman you might date can find online

You forget that I also:

1. Have some charm and charisma.
2. Have money.
3. Have lots of knowledge and wisdom to share.
4. Have high IQ and intelligence.
5. Have romantic qualities - I write love poems, take women to romantic places, am romantic at heart, etc, like the characters in chick flicks.
6. Have confidence and am comfortable being myself in my own skin.

It seems my critics and those who claim I have nothing to offer always forget all this for some reason. lol

Btw I don't think handsomeness is an issue with Chinese women. In China, everywhere you go, you see ugly nerdy guys with beautiful women. Even some older men too. Literally everywhere! So it cannot be an issue. In fact, outside the USA, women with less attractive men are much more common than in the US.

Btw I forgot this thread existed and that there was already a Winston dilemma or trilemma thread. So I didn't need to create a new one. lol

[Winston]

Notice how the Vietnamese psychic mentioned in the OP CONSIDERS my feelings on the matter, whereas @publicduende does not and totally ignores my feelings. Huge difference. The psychic said:

"Hi Winston,
You understand the cons and pros while living in China and Europe.
You feel more at home and connect better with people/culture in Europe. European girls tend to be taller and not as interested in Asian men, so it’s hard for you to find a girlfriend there. THIS IS PLACE THAT YOU SHOULD LIVE.
You are not as attracted to Filipino girls. THIS IS NOT PLACE TO FIND GIRLFRIEND.
You want to go to China to find a wife and find attractive Chinese women. But they are also very materialistic and practical. THIS IS PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR WIFE. BUT:
1. ATTRACTIVE CHINESE WOMEN ARE NOT FOR YOU, THEY ARE FOR MILLIONAIRES. YOU CAN LOOK MORE EASILY FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN.
2. “MOST” WOMEN ARE MATERIALISTIC AND PRACTICAL, TRUE, SAME WITH MEN LIKE BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WOMAN, YOU SHOULD ACCEPT THIS FACT.
IF YOU LOOK FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN AND ACCEPT THEIR MATERIALISTIC, YOU WILL HAVE MORE CHANCES IN CHINA, VIETNAM, OR ANY ASIA COUNTRIES, MARRIAGE AGENCY MAY HELP. THEN TAKE HER TO EUROPE TO LIVE WITH YOU.
But if you want a beautiful woman, love you truthfully, good luck…"

Obviously, he is wiser than publicduende who is very narrow minded and non-spiritual and non-wise in comparison, and who thinks that:

1. He is all knowing and speaks for everyone and knows the future.
2. He is the official representative of all women in Europe, including the freespirit ones.
3. He deals in absolutes, not probabilities.

What do you all think of that? No sensible sane person thinks these things. Yet unbelievably publicduende does! And isn't joking about it either! WTF? He is totally blind to such glaring HUGE faults of his own. Unbelievable. Jesus mentioned to remove the speck in your eye first. Well geez. Publicduende must have boulders in his eyes. lol.

Most of the other guys in the forum also agree that I should go back to Europe too. Yet publicduende thinks everyone is wrong and only he is right. lol. Unbelievable.

Also, the great Zen teacher Alan Watts said in his lectures that one should trust their feelings, because feelings are never wrong. This is in stark contrast to publicduende, who totally ignores my feelings about Europe and Europeans completely, and acts as if my feelings don't exist, which is terrible and unwise.

Listen to what Alan Watts says about your feelings in these lectures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RnafTtXMYI

Embrace all your feelings. There are NO wrong feelings. There may be wrong actions, but never wrong feelings. Your inner feeling is never wrong...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KesOnftWES8

"There may be wrong actions in the sense of actions contrary to the rules of human communication. But the way you feel towards other people: loving, hating, et cetera, et cetera; there aren’t any wrong feelings.

And so, to try and force one’s feelings to be other than what they are is absurd. And furthermore: dishonest.

But you see: the idea that there are no wrong feelings is an immensely threatening one to people who are afraid to feel.

This is one of the peculiar problems of our culture: we are terrified of our feelings. We think that if we give them any scope and if we don’t immediately beat them down, they will lead us down into all kinds of chaotic and destructive actions.

But if, for a change, we would allow our feelings and look upon their comings and goings as something as beautiful and necessary as changes in the weather, the going of night and day and the four seasons, we would be at peace with ourselves. "

[publicduende]

Notice how the Vietnamese psychic mentioned in the OP CONSIDERS my feelings on the matter, whereas @publicduende does not and totally ignores my feelings. Huge difference. The psychic said:

"Hi Winston,
You understand the cons and pros while living in China and Europe.
You feel more at home and connect better with people/culture in Europe. European girls tend to be taller and not as interested in Asian men, so it’s hard for you to find a girlfriend there. THIS IS PLACE THAT YOU SHOULD LIVE.
You are not as attracted to Filipino girls. THIS IS NOT PLACE TO FIND GIRLFRIEND.
You want to go to China to find a wife and find attractive Chinese women. But they are also very materialistic and practical. THIS IS PLACE WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR WIFE. BUT:
1. ATTRACTIVE CHINESE WOMEN ARE NOT FOR YOU, THEY ARE FOR MILLIONAIRES. YOU CAN LOOK MORE EASILY FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN.
2. “MOST” WOMEN ARE MATERIALISTIC AND PRACTICAL, TRUE, SAME WITH MEN LIKE BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY WOMAN, YOU SHOULD ACCEPT THIS FACT.
IF YOU LOOK FOR A NORMAL LOOKING WOMAN AND ACCEPT THEIR MATERIALISTIC, YOU WILL HAVE MORE CHANCES IN CHINA, VIETNAM, OR ANY ASIA COUNTRIES, MARRIAGE AGENCY MAY HELP. THEN TAKE HER TO EUROPE TO LIVE WITH YOU.
But if you want a beautiful woman, love you truthfully, good luck…"

Obviously, he is wiser than publicduende who is very narrow minded and non-spiritual and non-wise in comparison, and who thinks that:

1. He is all knowing and speaks for everyone and knows the future.
2. He is the official representative of all women in Europe, including the freespirit ones.
3. He deals in absolutes, not probabilities.

What do you all think of that? No sensible sane person thinks these things. Yet unbelievably publicduende does! And isn't joking about it either! WTF? He is totally blind to such glaring HUGE faults of his own. Unbelievable. Jesus mentioned to remove the speck in your eye first. Well geez. Publicduende must have boulders in his eyes. lol.

Most of the other guys in the forum also agree that I should go back to Europe too. Yet publicduende thinks everyone is wrong and only he is right. lol. Unbelievable.

Also, the great Zen teacher Alan Watts said in his lectures that one should trust their feelings, because feelings are never wrong. This is in stark contrast to publicduende, who totally ignores my feelings about Europe and Europeans completely, and acts as if my feelings don't exist, which is terrible and unwise.

Listen to what Alan Watts says about your feelings in these lectures.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RnafTtXMYI

Embrace all your feelings. There are NO wrong feelings. There may be wrong actions, but never wrong feelings. Your inner feeling is never wrong...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KesOnftWES8

"There may be wrong actions in the sense of actions contrary to the rules of human communication. But the way you feel towards other people: loving, hating, et cetera, et cetera; there aren’t any wrong feelings.

And so, to try and force one’s feelings to be other than what they are is absurd. And furthermore: dishonest.

But you see: the idea that there are no wrong feelings is an immensely threatening one to people who are afraid to feel.

This is one of the peculiar problems of our culture: we are terrified of our feelings. We think that if we give them any scope and if we don’t immediately beat them down, they will lead us down into all kinds of chaotic and destructive actions.

But if, for a change, we would allow our feelings and look upon their comings and goings as something as beautiful and necessary as changes in the weather, the going of night and day and the four seasons, we would be at peace with ourselves. "

LOL don't you see "the Vietnamese psychic" has said exactly the same stuff that I (and a lot of other people) told you?

1) forget about European girls, they don't want you
2) you don't want Filipino girls, fine
3) most Chinese girls, the hot ones, will be looking for successful and rich men, and even if you found a Chinese woman, you will have to put up with the fact that they're materialistic and pragmatic, so suck it up
4) the only chance you have is maybe a marriage agency, where we all know the kind of women you will find - help yourself to one of those ladies and maybe move to Europe.

Vietnamese psychic forgot one detail: will pop's money be enough to live in Europe? Won't you need a Visa to live in a country with your wife, or will you be slinging her with you during your magical mystery tours?

You have been trying to belittle my advice and twist my words at every recent post of yours. As you can see, I don't have to resort to insults and assumptions on my (alleged) wisdom and intelligence.

You are the one here without any sense of logic.

[publicduende]

By the way, you start talking like one of those SJWs. "Feelings"...who gives a damn about your feelings? Actions speak louder than words, which in turn speak louder than feelings.

If you really had feelings and vibes towards old Europe, you would have moved there a long ago. The maybe your opinion might have changed, maybe not. But at least you would have been consequential.

[Cornfed]

It seems that the "psychic" stated the obvious, except for the part about living in Europe with a plain Chinese wife, which might attract financial and visa problems. My recommendation would be to settle for the Phillipines or just give it up and try again in the next life.

[Winston]

By the way, you start talking like one of those SJWs. "Feelings"...who gives a damn about your feelings? Actions speak louder than words, which in turn speak louder than feelings.

If you really had feelings and vibes towards old Europe, you would have moved there a long ago. The maybe your opinion might have changed, maybe not. But at least you would have been consequential.

He didn't say European girls didn't want me. I merely told him it would be harder to get a European girl, but not impossible.

However, you seem obsessed with girls. There is more to life than girls you know. For example:

1) Having a purpose in life you are passionate about.
2) Being in a culture you like or love, not detest.
3) Being free and comfortable to be yourself.
4) Having passions and hobbies and interests.
5) Having quality social relationships.
6) Doing what makes you feel alive and following your bliss.

All those are important too. Not just girls. Why don't you think about that?

I told you stupid, the dark forces in the Philippines keep me addicted to the sex there, and the archons feed off me too. See my thread about the archons. More and more info is coming out about them now. Just because you're a f***ing moron doesn't mean they don't exist. In fact you are being used right now by dark forces. That's why you are spreading lies as claiming them to be true. Only someone under the dark forces influence would spread obvious lies. If I were in Europe right now, I'd probably be in my element and feel like Superman because the European vibe to me is like the yellow sun to Superman. And I'd realize that Publicduende is 100 percent wrong and laugh at him and mock him, even though he will never apologize no matter what.

Feelings are number one of course. See the Alan Watts videos where he explains why your feelings are never wrong, that I posted in another thread.

Why don't you bet me money? It'd be an easy 300 dollars for me, and deep down you know it.

Why don't you ever listen to other people's thoughts and feelings stupid? Your people skills totally suck. As a therapist you'd be fired right away. You do not know how to empathize or communicate or paraphrase other people's meanings.

[Winston]

It seems that the "psychic" stated the obvious, except for the part about living in Europe with a plain Chinese wife, which might attract financial and visa problems. My recommendation would be to settle for the Phillipines or just give it up and try again in the next life.

Well the psychic said that if I fit in Europe the best, then I ought to live there. Didn't you see that? Yes that advice is obvious and I would give the same advice to someone else in my situation. The only naysayer and asshole and troll here is Publicduende. Everyone else sees the obvious. Obviously it's better to be in a culture you like or love than one you detest, even without any girlfriend. Because of course, it's better for your mental health to be in cultures that make you feel alive and match your soul, than ones that don't. Also my skin and energy level and health are better in Europe's colder climate too. I do not tolerate Asia's hot humid weather well at all.

I explained this 1000 to stupid Publicduende, but he acts dumb and deaf and refuses to acknowledge this. I wonder if he came from a school for special ed for the mentally retarded or something. How can he not understand something so simple? Why should I stay somewhere I am uncomfortable with and suffering in? Why not follow my heart? Especially when I have the money to move to anywhere I want?

[Winston]

This article explains why I should not waste my time explaining myself to others like Publicduende or let them tell me what to do or control my life.

https://johnkreiter.com/learn-to-not-ex ... s-and-win/

Learn To Not Explain Yourself To Others And Win

There is no need to explain yourself to others. The time that you waste trying to explain yourself and your motives to others can be better spent focusing on your desired outcome. I have mentioned before that there is a natural need in other people to control situations and things, it is therefore expected that others will feel that you have to explain yourself to them.

Don’t let others intimidate you into having to explain yourself to them. Since most of us grew up with parents or parental like figures, we tend to find it normal to have to explain ourselves and our motives to superiors. This is a good thing when you are a child and you require someone to take care of you and show you the ways of life. There is a point though when this kind of supervision is no longer required. If you are an adult then you must realize emotionally that you do not need supervision anymore. This is actually a difficult thing for many of us to accept emotionally. Even though we can understand this intellectually, emotionally we still have the need to express our reasons.

The lower your self esteem, the more that you will feel that you have to tell others what you are doing. You must work on how you feel about yourself then until you realize that you are a free adult and you are beholden to no one. When you have the need to explain yourself away, stop and ask yourself why you believe (or feel) this. Logically think about your current situation and discover for yourself whether or not the person before you needs an explanation of your activities. There are times, like when you are in a job, or certain circumstances, like when you are doing something for someone else, when you need to explain yourself. But if you use a logical and objective mind, you will see that there are also many times when there is no need for you to explain yourself.

Why is it important that you realize that you don’t need to tell others about your actions and your reason? It is because most people will try and influence your activities and motives. Most have very good intentions and they are trying to help you out. Unfortunately this help is seldom needed or appreciated. You can’t learn anything by having others control your actions, you need to learn by doing things on your own and the greatest gift that anyone can give you is the gift of freedom to try. Well intentioned or not, most people have not realized such conclusions so it is up to you to stop their well intentioned meddling.

Silence is a golden friend here. You must try and develop the discipline necessary not to tell everyone about your doings. This is the simplest and best way to get others to stop telling you what to do. To do this you have to get over the perceived obligation to explain yourself. Stay focused on your desired outcome and let others be. If you do run across someone that needs to give you advise, take it if you think the person has something positive to share but remember to develop laser like focus so that you are not deviated from your goal(s).

Keep a positive attitude and learn to realize that you are important enough to have the freedom to pursue your own path, whatever that might be. This life is your life to succeed or fail in. Failure is not a bad thing as long as you personally learnt or experienced something that you needed. Stop believing that you need to explain yourself to others, and remember to have a strong focus and a strong personal attitude so that you are not deviated from your desires.

That's very wise and true. Trying to argue or explain yourself to others, especially those who do NOT understand you or relate to you (like Publicduende), is unwise and unproductive. Plus he is a know it all with no spiritual wisdom, and that's not the type you should take advice from.

[gsjackson]

About public duende's position, I would note one thing. He seems to be taking the position that being in Davao instead of Manila made all the difference in his inability to find the sort of woman he was looking for, causing him frustration in that regard for two years. Geography, in his estimation, has made all the difference. But he is willing to generalize about all of Europe, making no distinction between different countries and regions.

Winston, I have no idea about how you will fare in Europe, but yeah, you make the decision, roll with it, and don't go looking for confirmation from anybody else.

[publicduende]

He didn't say European girls didn't want me. I merely told him it would be harder to get a European girl, but not impossible.

So I will tell you. European girls who are young and a legit target for locals (or even foreigners) who are younger, more confident, wealthier/more successful and more handsome than you, they will not want to have anything to do with you. Maybe an intellectual chat or two, but nothing romantic.

However, you seem obsessed with girls. There is more to life than girls you know. For example:

1) Having a purpose in life you are passionate about.
2) Being in a culture you like or love, not detest.
3) Being free and comfortable to be yourself.
4) Having passions and hobbies and interests.
5) Having quality social relationships.
6) Doing what makes you feel alive and following your bliss.

All those are important too. Not just girls. Why don't you think about that?

I told you stupid, the dark forces in the Philippines keep me addicted to the sex there, and the archons feed off me too. See my thread about the archons. More and more info is coming out about them now. Just because you're a f***ing moron doesn't mean they don't exist. In fact you are being used right now by dark forces. That's why you are spreading lies as claiming them to be true. Only someone under the dark forces influence would spread obvious lies. If I were in Europe right now, I'd probably be in my element and feel like Superman because the European vibe to me is like the yellow sun to Superman. And I'd realize that Publicduende is 100 percent wrong and laugh at him and mock him, even though he will never apologize no matter what.

Feelings are number one of course. See the Alan Watts videos where he explains why your feelings are never wrong, that I posted in another thread.

Why don't you bet me money? It'd be an easy 300 dollars for me, and deep down you know it.

Why don't you ever listen to other people's thoughts and feelings stupid? Your people skills totally suck. As a therapist you'd be fired right away. You do not know how to empathize or communicate or paraphrase other people's meanings.

LOL you mention "dark forces" who "keep you addicted to sex" and I am the one obsessed with girls?

Superman...what to add dude, it's so sad I don't even feel like typing. My fingers refuse to move for such a hopeless effort.

[Winston]

About public duende's position, I would note one thing. He seems to be taking the position that being in Davao instead of Manila made all the difference in his inability to find the sort of woman he was looking for, causing him frustration in that regard for two years. Geography, in his estimation, has made all the difference. But he is willing to generalize about all of Europe, making no distinction between different countries and regions.

Winston, I have no idea about how you will fare in Europe, but yeah, you make the decision, roll with it, and don't go looking for confirmation from anybody else.

Good catch. True. That makes no sense, that he claims differences within locations within Philippines, but he generalizes all of Europe as the same. lol. That's a funny discrepancy. Yet he is blind to his own faults. Too bad.

[Winston]

He didn't say European girls didn't want me. I merely told him it would be harder to get a European girl, but not impossible.

So I will tell you. European girls who are young and a legit target for locals (or even foreigners) who are younger, more confident, wealthier/more successful and more handsome than you, they will not want to have anything to do with you. Maybe an intellectual chat or two, but nothing romantic.

So that's YOUR OPINION. Not fact. How do you know that? Tell me. Are you talking every country, including Ukraine, Romania, Lithuania, etc?

What about girls in their 30's? How about average looking girls? How about freespirit girls who have a lot in common with me?

How do you know girls will not like my charm, personality, confidence, magnetism, etc, especially when those things are enhanced since Europe helps bring out the best in me?

How do you know the universe won't help me out and give me luck and blessings? Some people find love when they are least expecting it.

Plus did you hear me before? Even without romance, if I am in a location and culture I like and fit into, I can still be happy to an extent. That's who I am. Honestly. Whether you understand that or not, who cares? That's me. Do you understand that?

I didn't find romance in Thailand either, only sex. But I enjoyed it there and had a great time anyway.

So what's your problem with that? Why are you trying to make me unhappy? Isn't that cruel and stupid? Bad advice is dangerous you know. That's why I make sure never to give bad advice. I just give general guidelines. That's what good normal men do.

Life is not all about girls you know? There is more to life than that. How come you don't consider that I fit European culture and mentality and would be happy to a certain extent there because of that? How come you don't admit that? There's nothing wrong with being happy in a culture you like, just for the heck of it. So why don't you admit that? Why you so stubborn and want me to be unhappy? Don't I know more than you about what makes ME happy? Geez.