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6 posts • Page 1 of 1
I mean did moving abroad make you happy? I was talking to someone over the weekend and this person told me that even if you did something to try to make yourself happy it wont last. For example moving abroad or whatever. Being happy is more about learning to be happy . What ever that means.
What do you guys think?
I am happy. That said, there is always room for improvement. You have to keep setting goals, and then new goals once you reach the previous goal. Whatever you do, you always need to have something in your path to look forward to. There is no such thing as "having it all". You may feel that way, one day, but chances are it's only near the end of your life, and shortly after you begin losing some of those things again. You go full circle.
We all have moments of happiness, and moments of sadness. And a million little moments inbetween that are neither this, nor that. Life is interesting like that. What makes a person happy, is different from one person to another. For most of us, happiness is achieved when goals we set for ourselves are reached. When we acquire a sense of comfort, our worries lessen, our stress and hassle diminish. Some of us thrive on stress however, cannot live without pressure. That is why I find happiness in the countryside, and other men cannot survive outside of the big cities and fast city living.
Different folks, different strokes. But all of us are able to figure out what makes us happy, and work towards doing exactly that.
I agree with Marcos - I am pretty content which is based on many factors, work, lack of stress, climate - it is summer in the middle of China and it is quite pleasant as well as my projects, getting into shape, running further and further as well as writing stories and learning Chinese.
Even if I never got laid again, I would stay here - I would never go back to the UK, I know my quality of life goes down if I do. So I am very happy here but of course you always have those days or moments where the mental malaises get on top of you but they go sooner or later and you are back on track.
You can never change the past, if you watch Scarface a million and one times - Tony Montana gets shot up and falls from the balcony and into the pool a million and one times, what you can dicatate to some degree is the future - that is what I concentrate on. That makes me happy in itself.
I could never ever go back to England. I will probably move to Spain once my time is over. Happier Abroad is a lifetime deal.
I would really like marriage and children with the right person. That's it right - how do you know it is the right person until it is too late.
So, the thing is. When I was younger, it was important, I am a middle aged man now and I have come to accept it might not happen now or ever which
would have really upset my younger self - but - back in England - I never really dated, I wasn't a nightclub person and I don't have a really high sex drive - it
isn't like I need it... some people might see this is as a curse but I have seen my brothers, cousins, friends who get into relationships with women 'just
for sex' and then they end up being long term because they get the women pregnant or there is some emotional entanglement which makes it hard to leave.
In China - I have dated and was in a long term relationship but I am not into serial dating or whatever - my emotional wiring is not up to the task of all that. I am in the market for a decent young lady with a good education and who makes my heart flutter - there is a few knocking about - if it ended in marriage and children - I would be happy but if it isn't meant to be be.
Going back to your friend and what he said. He is correct, you have to learn to be happy, you have to be proactive and take delight in the small things, because it is a multitiude of small things that make your life content - if I learn a new sentence in Chinese and I try it out and people understand me - that makes me happy, if I run another 20 yards from yesterdays run - that makes me happy too, a nice meal in a restaraunt where I don't get the shits - that makes me happy to when I can put it down as a 'go to' place, a sunny and warm day, a smile from a pretty girl, a starry night, a great song you haven't heard for ages - the secret is to take delight in the small things and they all add up.
Even looking back more than 40 years, I do not regret moving to abroad.
In general, my situation is good, I am happy. Much better for sure for me in Japan than in Europe.
There is always something you might consider you should improve, or something you think about you could have done it better in the past.
But all in all, my present situation is very OK.