Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.



View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme


Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4225
Joined: April 21st, 2010, 5:16 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Rock » March 13th, 2017, 5:41 pm

Falcon wrote:Glad to know there are still millenials in the Philippines who can be gems. I experienced this myself in the Philippines, and noticed that many millenials there seem to have something about them that keeps that relatively simple, happy, and down-to-earth. This is why Winston can connect with so many younger girls there lol.

I think I asked you this a few years ago, and you said that sometimes younger guys would bang older hookers or play around with cougars for a few months. But as for something long-term and stable - which case examples are you aware of, from your personal experience (not just the Extreme Cougar Wives TV show haha)?
A 16 yr age gap in favor of the woman is rare enough that I haven't to my knowledge come across it in my personal experience other than you of course. So Falcon, you are indeed a rare bird lol.

Among celebs et's see, hmm, wasn't Demi Moore 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher? And they were officially together (married) for 8 years. You think you will beat that?




Check out our Dating Sites and International Romance Tours!



Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 5:46 pm

Rock wrote:A 16 yr age gap in favor of the woman is rare enough that I haven't to my knowledge come across it in my personal experience other than you of course. So Falcon, you are indeed a rare bird lol.

Among celebs et's see, hmm, wasn't Demi Moore 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher? And they were officially together (married) for 8 years. You think you will beat that?
As for the 8 years, that will be a good litmus test.

Indo maid was 11 years older than me and we seriously felt like peers lol. But even she was concerned about me going after younger ladies. Once, she got her younger friend, who was my age, to tempt me and see how faithful I was. I passed the test. :D

OK, now how about any relationship where the woman is over 5 years older than her man? Everdred's wife is 5 years older than him, and he says that people are already looking at him like he's weird. :P

Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4225
Joined: April 21st, 2010, 5:16 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Rock » March 13th, 2017, 6:01 pm

Falcon wrote:
Rock wrote:A 16 yr age gap in favor of the woman is rare enough that I haven't to my knowledge come across it in my personal experience other than you of course. So Falcon, you are indeed a rare bird lol.

Among celebs et's see, hmm, wasn't Demi Moore 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher? And they were officially together (married) for 8 years. You think you will beat that?
As for the 8 years, that will be a good litmus test.

Indo maid was 11 years older than me and we seriously felt like peers lol. But even she was concerned about me going after younger ladies. Once, she got her younger friend, who was my age, to tempt me and see how faithful I was. I passed the test. :D

OK, now how about any relationship where the woman is over 5 years older than her man? Everdred's wife is 5 years older than him, and he says that people are already looking at him like he's weird. :P
5 years is very normal and I've seen a lot of cases where girl is 5 years older give or take. Usually people just 5 years or so apart look similar age. One of my exes in Taiwan has been dating a guy 5 years her junior for quite awhile now. I don't think her parents are thrilled by it but that may have more to do with the guy being a wage slave who earns less than her.

Half a lun (6 years) is almost ideal in Taiwan by parent's thinking I believe if guy is the older one. If girl is the older one, it's a bit out of the ordinary but not such a big deal if the guy is mature for his age and relatively successful. 6 year age gap is still same generation.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 6:07 pm

Have you personally seen any couples where the woman is about 10 years older or more?
Half a lun (6 years) is almost ideal in Taiwan by parent's thinking I believe if guy is the older one. If girl is the older one, it's a bit out of the ordinary but not such a big deal if the guy is mature for his age and relatively successful. 6 year age gap is still same generation.
That is exactly the age gap that my parents have - a 6-year-one.
My paternal grandfather and grandmother had a 15-year age gap. At that time, it didn't raise any eyebrows.
However, I think in Western Europe, even 6 years is a bit too much.

But for me, at age 25, dating someone more than 4 or 5 years younger would just feel strange to me. A 6-year age gap would mean a 19-year-old date for me. I'd feel clueless, uncomfortable, and lost lol.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 6:26 pm

It's called Jiedilian 姐弟恋 in China, They're raising eyebrows at 9-year age gaps. Still they're almost in the same generation, so it shouldn't be such a big deal, should it?

http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/913408.shtml


And there's a story of how a couple had to live as hermits because the man was 19 and the woman was 29, and a widowed mother.
Over 50 years ago, Liu, was a 19 years-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu. At the time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.
http://www.weirdasianews.com/2007/12/15 ... -mountain/

http://cloudmind.info/a-ladder-of-love- ... -in-china/

retiredfrank
Junior Poster
Posts: 577
Joined: November 23rd, 2014, 4:45 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by retiredfrank » March 13th, 2017, 6:45 pm

Rock wrote:
A 16 yr age gap in favor of the woman is rare enough that I haven't to my knowledge come across it in my personal experience other than you of course. So Falcon, you are indeed a rare bird lol.

Among celebs et's see, hmm, wasn't Demi Moore 16 years older than Ashton Kutcher? And they were officially together (married) for 8 years. You think you will beat that?
I hooked up with a woman 23 years older than me back when I was in San Francisco, at my peak attractiveness: 40 yo but looked 30, living in a palatial apartment on top of Nob Hill (chosen by a previous gf, a cheap skate like me would never picked a place like that myself), running a successful business, etc. Young women constantly humping my leg at the salsa dances. Problem is, all these young women were trouble, I knew from experience. They would ALL have pushed for marriage and most for children. (Adama will say they were attracted to my soul...) The older woman was very enjoyable to be around and, strangely enough, was the one who gave me an erection while dancing, even though she didnt do that vulgar leg humping thing. I had to spend weeks pursuing her and convincing her i was serious. She had the second best body of any woman I've ever had sex with: a real life barbie doll even at 63. Her main problem was some inhibitions sexually, though she was very submissive overall. Obviously I didn't marry her or anyone else. She was very accepting of my travels, which were just beginning then, whereas a younger woman would not have been. I loved her for maybe six months, then good sex and friendship for another 3 years, then she went off hormone replacement and I lost all sexual desire for her during the hot flash phase. She found another guy after that. Even at 75, she was still getting hit on by guys in their 20's she told me later (we still talk occasionally). I think her sexual attractiveness returned after the hot flashes ended--that's a bad time for women.

There's a lot to be said for 20 to 40 year age differences, for both parties, regardless of whether man or woman is younger. The relationship is obviously mostly about sex and is doomed to end after a few months to few years, so everyone tries hard to get as much pleasure as they can while it lasts. No petty squabbling, in particular. In some cases there is money exchanged, but if money is the only motivation, the relationship is junk. This older woman I was with certainly didn't pay me, though we did split expenses mostly. I was rich by then anyway. Naysayers who say 20yo women wont be attracted to men aged 60 are wrong. Yes they often are, but you have to be somewhat special. In particular, you can't be sexually uptight and possessive and bitter that women have it easier than men like so many men here, because when a 20yo girl goes for a 60yo guy, she is looking for a troublefree non-lasting relationship with some money thrown in. If you're going to be a big PITA, she can get that from guys her own age.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 6:57 pm

Retiredfrank, what do you mean by "good sex and friendship for another 3 years"? Did you live together as "friends"?

retiredfrank
Junior Poster
Posts: 577
Joined: November 23rd, 2014, 4:45 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by retiredfrank » March 13th, 2017, 7:09 pm

What I mean is that the strong feelings of love disappeared. I know what sexual love is, I've felt it many times and I felt it with this woman for 6 months. Then I started to get bored. But I still liked her and the sex was still good though no longer really passionate like at first. So I stuck around. We kept separate apartments, never truly lived together.

I cant recall strong love lasting more than 6 months with any girlfriend. With younger women, the end of the honeymoon means the beginnings of petty squabbling, which I can't tolerate, but not with this older woman.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 7:16 pm

Thanks for all your interesting stories Frank.
What about your family situation today? I'm curious to know how a 23-year-old who dated a 40-year-old eventually turned out.

retiredfrank
Junior Poster
Posts: 577
Joined: November 23rd, 2014, 4:45 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by retiredfrank » March 13th, 2017, 7:21 pm

Huh? I was a,40yo who dated a 63yo. Im single now. Age 56, Looking to find a younger mistress in Ukraine this summer, though I'll gladly take a woman my own age or older if she is still sexually attractive. My standards are very high now. Very few women turn me on any more. Problem is their personality mainly.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 7:25 pm

retiredfrank wrote:Huh? I was a,40yo who dated a 63yo. Im single now. Age 56, Looking to find a younger mistress in Ukraine this summer, though I'll gladly take a woman my own age or older if she is still sexually attractive. My standards are very high now. Very few women turn me on any more. Problem is their personality mainly.
Ah, I got it mixed up with another story I was reading online lol.
Wish you all the best in Ukraine. Be sure to talk to Ladislav a lot. :D

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 7:55 pm

Rock wrote:Hey Bird man,

Hope you can go the distance. Sounds like you found your happily ever after ala Outwest, Pete, Davewe, and Public Duende (joke haha).

Are you thinking life here? I mean in 15 years give or take, your beloved 'daughter' will likely find a new man to give bulk of her attention and your 'wife' may become radically different with onset of menopause. Are you truly a for better or worse kinda guy or will you get your own mid-life crisis then and dump them for a younger thing just as first guy did? What do you think?
Hey Stone man,

That's what I want for my beloved daughter. I do not intend to be a nightmarish helicopter parent who would never get out of a child's life even if he or she wants to be weaned from it. I guess I have 5 more years of kiddy fun with my daughter, and then several years of adolescence. That's the beauty of our mutual journey - watching each other grow up.

My little girl is really proud of me. She is always drawing pictures of her herself with Baba and Mama. At school, she is also evidently proud to talk about me with her friends and teachers. That isn't likely to change anytime in the near future.

As for the onset of menopause? That was my much older, darker ex that you had personally met in Bangkok lol. Been there, done that. I split up with her definitely not because of age or looks or intimacy, but because it simply isn't practical to be in a serious long-term relationship with someone from the Thai underclass. I would have done so even if I were dating her daughter.

Nothing lasts forever of course. Growing older together can be a beautiful thing. I don't think I would like a woman to dump me after she has loved me for more than 10 years, simply because I'm getting older. Hence, I don't think it's the right thing to do it to her either. When her face was disfigured for a few weeks after a motorcycle accident, I still loved her just as much and was not embarrassed to take her out. I can see myself still being intimate everyday with an aging grandmother. I've been with enough cougars to be psychologically prepared for it. :P

No one in my family has done such a thing. They all get married and stick with each other for life.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1065
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Jonny Law » March 14th, 2017, 2:13 pm

Falcon wrote:
Jonny Law wrote:DO NOT BE A FOOL!
YOUR THAI BITCH IS USING YOU!
Hypergamy
Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!
Your Thai bitch is nicer to you because she wants your money!
Hypergamy usually kicks in with women after 30 years of age. And/or after a woman has a couple bastard kids.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY$$
Jonny Law, I am fully aware of how nasty many Thai women can be. But I can assure you, my girlfriend is not a witch. I can smell a Thai witch from a mile away. They have these sinister, cunning sly looks that creep the heck out of me. Unfortunately, many middle-aged white men end up with these witch types.

She is simple and kind, if not kind of naive. With Thais, it's not tat hard to tell who's naive and innocent, and who's a sly, scheming witch. Looks, vibe, what she says, her friends, her past, and so much more.

If she were gold-digging only, she would have gone for one of those old, lizard-like white retirees with a lot of money in the bank but no charisma. Now that there is me, there is no way her daughter would be able to accept a new Farang dad. Our daughter has told me she absolutely does not want a new dad. Her mother loves her and me to bits, so it's not likely that she would do so.

Plus she does not want a man who drinks or smokes. Period. She has never let any of her relatives raise her children either.

I'm a completely irreplaceable dad to our daughter. I have the charisma and love that no other guy can possibly show to the little Thai girl, and her mother totally recognizes that. Her mother has never let any of her relatives raise our daughter. It's like how Dianne chose Winston because of his charisma, even though he was much poorer than some of her suitors.

Actions speak louder than words.
And what has she done?

1. Like a very protective Chinese mom, she makes a lot of very delicious traditional dishes, and almost force-feeds me lol. She tells me to finish everything because she wants me to eat a lot, be healthy, not waste food, and be happy with what she made. Xiongmao also had a Chinese date like that. These women are very traditional and fiercely protective of their husbands.

2. She takes very good care of daughter, and said she would never let anyone else raise her. She is like this with our little girl and clearly feels that way towards me. To her, the little and me are her treasures in life.

3. She shows constant concern and care for me. Whether I am cold, hungry, tired, or sick. I also took good care of her in her hospital bed and at home after she had a motorcycle accident, and she said she would never forget the care and love that I showed me. Her face had a lot of bandages, and I told her that she was still just as beautiful to me, and really felt that way. She said that most guys would not have thought this way, and really appreciated me for that. In return, she always wanted to do things me and take good care of me, whether physically or emotionally.
THANKS FOR THE REPLY MY FRIEND :twisted:

I do not mean to rain on your parade but she LOVES YOUR MONEY NOT YOU!

Your words[/u "I'm getting a decent amount of stable income via online work, and and making more than what more locals in my area make."

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1065
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Jonny Law » March 14th, 2017, 2:13 pm

Falcon wrote:
Jonny Law wrote:DO NOT BE A FOOL!
YOUR THAI BITCH IS USING YOU!
Hypergamy
Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!
Your Thai bitch is nicer to you because she wants your money!
Hypergamy usually kicks in with women after 30 years of age. And/or after a woman has a couple bastard kids.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY$$
Jonny Law, I am fully aware of how nasty many Thai women can be. But I can assure you, my girlfriend is not a witch. I can smell a Thai witch from a mile away. They have these sinister, cunning sly looks that creep the heck out of me. Unfortunately, many middle-aged white men end up with these witch types.

She is simple and kind, if not kind of naive. With Thais, it's not tat hard to tell who's naive and innocent, and who's a sly, scheming witch. Looks, vibe, what she says, her friends, her past, and so much more.

If she were gold-digging only, she would have gone for one of those old, lizard-like white retirees with a lot of money in the bank but no charisma. Now that there is me, there is no way her daughter would be able to accept a new Farang dad. Our daughter has told me she absolutely does not want a new dad. Her mother loves her and me to bits, so it's not likely that she would do so.

Plus she does not want a man who drinks or smokes. Period. She has never let any of her relatives raise her children either.

I'm a completely irreplaceable dad to our daughter. I have the charisma and love that no other guy can possibly show to the little Thai girl, and her mother totally recognizes that. Her mother has never let any of her relatives raise our daughter. It's like how Dianne chose Winston because of his charisma, even though he was much poorer than some of her suitors.

Actions speak louder than words.
And what has she done?

1. Like a very protective Chinese mom, she makes a lot of very delicious traditional dishes, and almost force-feeds me lol. She tells me to finish everything because she wants me to eat a lot, be healthy, not waste food, and be happy with what she made. Xiongmao also had a Chinese date like that. These women are very traditional and fiercely protective of their husbands.

2. She takes very good care of daughter, and said she would never let anyone else raise her. She is like this with our little girl and clearly feels that way towards me. To her, the little and me are her treasures in life.

3. She shows constant concern and care for me. Whether I am cold, hungry, tired, or sick. I also took good care of her in her hospital bed and at home after she had a motorcycle accident, and she said she would never forget the care and love that I showed me. Her face had a lot of bandages, and I told her that she was still just as beautiful to me, and really felt that way. She said that most guys would not have thought this way, and really appreciated me for that. In return, she always wanted to do things me and take good care of me, whether physically or emotionally.
THANKS FOR THE REPLY MY FRIEND :twisted:

I do not mean to rain on your parade but she LOVES YOUR MONEY NOT YOU!

Your words[/u "I'm getting a decent amount of stable income via online work, and and making more than what more locals in my area make."

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1065
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Jonny Law » March 14th, 2017, 2:13 pm

Falcon wrote:
Jonny Law wrote:DO NOT BE A FOOL!
YOUR THAI BITCH IS USING YOU!
Hypergamy
Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!
Your Thai bitch is nicer to you because she wants your money!
Hypergamy usually kicks in with women after 30 years of age. And/or after a woman has a couple bastard kids.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY$$
Jonny Law, I am fully aware of how nasty many Thai women can be. But I can assure you, my girlfriend is not a witch. I can smell a Thai witch from a mile away. They have these sinister, cunning sly looks that creep the heck out of me. Unfortunately, many middle-aged white men end up with these witch types.

She is simple and kind, if not kind of naive. With Thais, it's not tat hard to tell who's naive and innocent, and who's a sly, scheming witch. Looks, vibe, what she says, her friends, her past, and so much more.

If she were gold-digging only, she would have gone for one of those old, lizard-like white retirees with a lot of money in the bank but no charisma. Now that there is me, there is no way her daughter would be able to accept a new Farang dad. Our daughter has told me she absolutely does not want a new dad. Her mother loves her and me to bits, so it's not likely that she would do so.

Plus she does not want a man who drinks or smokes. Period. She has never let any of her relatives raise her children either.

I'm a completely irreplaceable dad to our daughter. I have the charisma and love that no other guy can possibly show to the little Thai girl, and her mother totally recognizes that. Her mother has never let any of her relatives raise our daughter. It's like how Dianne chose Winston because of his charisma, even though he was much poorer than some of her suitors.

Actions speak louder than words.
And what has she done?

1. Like a very protective Chinese mom, she makes a lot of very delicious traditional dishes, and almost force-feeds me lol. She tells me to finish everything because she wants me to eat a lot, be healthy, not waste food, and be happy with what she made. Xiongmao also had a Chinese date like that. These women are very traditional and fiercely protective of their husbands.

2. She takes very good care of daughter, and said she would never let anyone else raise her. She is like this with our little girl and clearly feels that way towards me. To her, the little and me are her treasures in life.

3. She shows constant concern and care for me. Whether I am cold, hungry, tired, or sick. I also took good care of her in her hospital bed and at home after she had a motorcycle accident, and she said she would never forget the care and love that I showed me. Her face had a lot of bandages, and I told her that she was still just as beautiful to me, and really felt that way. She said that most guys would not have thought this way, and really appreciated me for that. In return, she always wanted to do things me and take good care of me, whether physically or emotionally.
THANKS FOR THE REPLY MY FRIEND,

Do what makes you happy :twisted:
Enjoy and have fun!

I do not mean to rain on your parade but she LOVES YOUR MONEY NOT YOU!

My Advice For what it is worth:
My advice is not for you. I think you will live and learn and I wish you the best. My advice is for other Naive Pieces of Shit in your situation.

Your words "I'm getting a decent amount of stable income via online work, and and making more than what more locals in my area make."

NEWSFLASH
"If she were gold-digging only, she would have gone for one of those old, lizard-like white retirees with a lot of money in the bank but no charisma."
1. She is gold digging and she landed you!
2. The vast majority of Thai Women perfer Asian men over White men. Thais will be with Asians even if they earn less money.

I understand you do not believe me!
Good gold diggers cannot be recognized!
A good gold digger (ie any woman Thais are the worst) will act like a kind caring pleasent housewife. She will be the best actress to please you.
Stop earning money and see how long you are together?
Protect Yourself!
HAPPY MARRIAGES IN THAILAND:
1. Do not buy her a house.
2. Do not give her huge $$ Sin Sot (dowry)
3. Do not buy her a car.

4. Do keep large amounts of money in a bank account she does not have access to.
5. Do own a condo in your name not hers.
6. Do pack light and be preparded to leave the moment she acts up.

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Questions and Advice”