Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.



View Active Topics       View Your Posts       Latest 100 Topics       FAQ Topics       Mobile Friendly Theme


Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » November 29th, 2016, 11:09 am

momopi wrote:If you are willing to learn the skills and certs to become DBA, you might be able to apply your existing work experience on the resume to show x years of related work experience.

Many IT jobs are remote. I work in the Irvine office to manage change control for company in Dallas and San Diego. The DBA manager is in Vancouver Canada. Dev team in India.
Awesome. I wonder what kind of training and certifications I'd have to get in order to get started in DBA. There are some online programs like Udacity that could be useful.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 10th, 2017, 6:56 pm

UPDATE
See viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31352&start=75

I'm still in Thailand. I'm getting a decent amount of stable income via online work, and and making more than what more locals in my area make. Glad I'm still here, and it was definitely the right decision to do so.

It's been over one year, and we've been together as a successful family unit. We've lived together for almost every single day. There is minimal drama, and we get along quite well. It almost feels as if it's a few years after marriage. We feel like a practical, functioning, stable family, rather than teenagers having crushes on each other. My daughter and I do all sorts of fun things together, like biking, catching insects, playing computer games, walking around in local markets, playing ball, running, and so on. Locals keep thinking she is my biological daughter too.

And my "wifey" is such a wonderful woman. She is a responsible, frugal business owner, and takes good care of me and our daughter. Her cooking is absolutely fabulous.

I am 25, and my "wife" is 41. But it feels like a really normal, stable relationship. Honestly, I probably would feel much less comfortable with most girls in the 20-25 age range.

I should write up a new post about my perspectives on life, dating, and having a family in Thailand.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 10th, 2017, 7:10 pm

Chanta, you also asked about whether I could get a girl my own age if I went to China, South Korea, or the Philippines instead. A few things:

1. Well, I think it comes down to the fact that I am just not so age-selective.

2. Look at the median ages of different countries ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_c ... median_age ). In Thailand, the median age is 37.2. In the Philippines, the median age is 23.4. So the average person you meet in Thailand would be in his or her late 30's, while in the Philippines that person would be in his or her early 20's.

3. in the Philippines, I also keep meeting girls my own age, or slightly younger, who are visibly interested in me. Before, I've taken it for granted as an axiom of life that girls my age would never show an interest in me. But the Philippines just seems to be an exception. It's not that I have bad looks or that I repel women. In most places, I can easily chat up and be good friends with women my age, but I would keep falling into their friend zones. Mutual romantic attraction just doesn't tick between me and the smartphone-toting millenial girls of today (keep in mind that I graduated high school in 2009, and college in 2013). But not so in the Visayas, and also China outside the first-tier cities.

4. Now even in Thailand, older women (35+) would be interested in me, and not talk about getting me interested in their daughters. Yes, they want me for themselves. But in the Philippines, there were a few times when older women (35+) would ask me if I would be interested in their daughters.

5. Quoting publicduende in viewtopic.php?f=5&t=35364&start=60 :
1) you found your girl several years ago, perhaps not 11 or 13 years ago like Pete, but "a while ago", when dating sites like Cherry Blossoms or Filipino Cupid or Filipino Kisses still had a handful of those needles in the haystack. When large-screen smartphones and data connections in rural areas weren't much around and a foreigner was still saluted like an Angel from the sky, and not mercilessly compared to the K-Pop idol or Hollywood stud du jour.

2) you (and I think Pete and Dave) found your girl off the beaten path of Mindanao. On one side, a girl from a village near Ozamiz or Pagadian 7/10 years ago. On the other, a smartphone-yielding entitled millennial of Davao today. Not saying it's absolutely impossible to find girls like those off the beaten path, perhaps in even more rural villages where local families still give their pretty daughters good values and send them to local universities, instead of letting them loose in the big city.

chanta76
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1759
Joined: February 11th, 2008, 4:56 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by chanta76 » March 12th, 2017, 8:46 pm

Falcon,

Well..if your happy. I think that's what matters the most. If I may asked and not sure if you answered already. What happened to the biological father to Thai girl ?

Your 25 years old. Sigh..wish I was your age again..but she is 41 years old. If you plan on growing old together down the line the age difference might catch up..let say your 40 years old she be 56 years old but hey if your happy your happy.

I never met you but judging from the way your write I can only guess that your leaning toward being conservative and maybe old fashion. I don't know if your shy in real life but maybe not. The reason I think this way is because you mention you have hard time connecting with women your own age. Is it location? I mean what if your in some small town in CHina? Maybe your too mature for your age.

When I was 25 years old..I was super single....I was depress. It took until my late 20's and early 30's where I started to date girls but most of the girls I dated were international students but they were close to my age. I think westernize girls (young and maybe old) are too superficial and too selfish but I think this applies to many people.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1065
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Jonny Law » March 13th, 2017, 8:51 am

chanta76 wrote:Falcon,

Well..if your happy. I think that's what matters the most. If I may asked and not sure if you answered already. What happened to the biological father to Thai girl ?

Your 25 years old. Sigh..wish I was your age again..but she is 41 years old. If you plan on growing old together down the line the age difference might catch up..let say your 40 years old she be 56 years old but hey if your happy your happy.

I never met you but judging from the way your write I can only guess that your leaning toward being conservative and maybe old fashion. I don't know if your shy in real life but maybe not. The reason I think this way is because you mention you have hard time connecting with women your own age. Is it location? I mean what if your in some small town in CHina? Maybe your too mature for your age.

When I was 25 years old..I was super single....I was depress. It took until my late 20's and early 30's where I started to date girls but most of the girls I dated were international students but they were close to my age. I think westernize girls (young and maybe old) are too superficial and too selfish but I think this applies to many people.

chanta76 SHUT UP!

Falcon do what makes you happy (in your case an old hag with bastard kids).
LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF f**k WHAT OTHERS THINK!

"If you plan on growing old together down the line the age difference might catch up"
My Advice for what it is worth
Thai women are f***ing and sucking whores and not long term relationship material. Just f**k her and move on to the next bitch.

User avatar
Cornfed
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 6073
Joined: August 17th, 2012, 5:22 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Cornfed » March 13th, 2017, 8:58 am

Surely we could give Falcon the benefit of the doubt and assume he is just using the old bag as a masturbatory aide before she hits the wall before moving on.

Jonny Law
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1065
Joined: May 13th, 2014, 9:14 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Jonny Law » March 13th, 2017, 10:55 am

Cornfed wrote:Surely we could give Falcon the benefit of the doubt and assume he is just using the old bag as a masturbatory aide before she hits the wall before moving on.
Dear Falcon,

I WISH YOU THE BEST!

"assume he is just using the old bag as a masturbatory aide before she hits the wall before moving on."
Great Idea! Hopefully you are right!

DO NOT BE A FOOL!
YOUR THAI BITCH IS USING YOU!
Hypergamy
Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!
Your Thai bitch is nicer to you because she wants your money!
Hypergamy usually kicks in with women after 30 years of age. And/or after a woman has a couple bastard kids.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY$$

Kradmelder
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1716
Joined: September 6th, 2016, 1:59 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Kradmelder » March 13th, 2017, 3:56 pm

Falcon wrote:UPDATE
See viewtopic.php?f=11&t=31352&start=75

I'm still in Thailand. I'm getting a decent amount of stable income via online work, and and making more than what more locals in my area make. Glad I'm still here, and it was definitely the right decision to do so.

It's been over one year, and we've been together as a successful family unit. We've lived together for almost every single day. There is minimal drama, and we get along quite well. It almost feels as if it's a few years after marriage. We feel like a practical, functioning, stable family, rather than teenagers having crushes on each other. My daughter and I do all sorts of fun things together, like biking, catching insects, playing computer games, walking around in local markets, playing ball, running, and so on. Locals keep thinking she is my biological daughter too.

And my "wifey" is such a wonderful woman. She is a responsible, frugal business owner, and takes good care of me and our daughter. Her cooking is absolutely fabulous.

I am 25, and my "wife" is 41. But it feels like a really normal, stable relationship. Honestly, I probably would feel much less comfortable with most girls in the 20-25 age range.

I should write up a new post about my perspectives on life, dating, and having a family in Thailand.
As long as you are happy boet. You sound happy and sounds like she appreciates you, you are making a business success, and getting relationship experience of how a family works and responsibility. You are also getting fed and blowing your load :mrgreen:, far more than the incels and nay sayers are getting :mrgreen:

Perhaps it wont last due to the age difference, or one day you may want your own kids so will need a younger woman. Now the women you would want are late teens to early 20's, a terrible age for female prospects if you are a mature man, which you seem to be. Many men are single at that age. It is a great time for adventure and playing around. But in a few years time with your business stable and flourishing things may be different and women mid 20s and up will be different and available for a mature man.

Hope you are keeping level headed, separate houses and finance, even if you sleep together most nights.

Do'nt let the emptying of your balls empty your head as well :mrgreen:

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 4:28 pm

And of course it's not just about my happiness. It's also about making yourself happy while also making others around you happy, and making the world a better place to live.
Hope you are keeping level headed, separate houses and finance, even if you sleep together most nights.
Yes, my finances are all separate.
Your 25 years old. Sigh..wish I was your age again..but she is 41 years old. If you plan on growing old together down the line the age difference might catch up..let say your 40 years old she be 56 years old but hey if your happy your happy.
Honestly, I feel more satisfied with an older woman like her. I just do. This is despite that fact that I'm a clean-cut decent-looking guy who blends in well into a college campus.
What happened to the biological father to Thai girl ?
He has a new girlfriend who is half his age. He's a white-collar office worker but has some pretty bad alcoholism problems. Needless to say, I never met him and have no intentions of doing so. The Thai girl, who is now 7, does not like her biological father. Everyone knows that without a doubt. The girl is extremely attached to me.

I don't think I can just leave the family. I'm not a homewrecker and heartbreaker. It's not just my girlfriend who makes me happy, and whom I make happy. I'm also best friends with the Thai girl, who is super attached to me and loves me to bits. She would cry if I left her alone. She is very light-skinned has a mixed Chinese look, and has the same skin tone as me. Everyone assumes she is my biological daughter.

It's not just for my older lady. It's also for our kid. I had a really traumatic childhood, and reliving a happy childhood with my new daughter is totally priceless. She clings to me so much that locals have even said that she must have been my daughter during one of my past lives (Buddhists here literally mean it, since they believe in reincarnation). If I got a new woman, something would feel missing. The little girl completes my life in a way that no other person could.

The mother and daughter are always together. I think of them as always together, like a centaur. This is what makes our relationship so unique.

She is not my biological daughter - but so what? Many of my biological kin were really nasty to me.
And millions of people have perfectly beautiful and close relationships with their pets dogs and cats, which are not biologically related either.

Things just can't be the same without our intelligent, cute little daughter running around and yelling "Baba!" as she comes to hug me and ask me how I'm doing. I never got to experience this kind of warmth during my childhood.

I have a chance to be a kid again. Catching bugs, playing ball, playing Pokemon, and playing with stuffed animals. Swimming, biking, playing silly hide-and-seek games, and teaching her languages and piano playing. I even teach her how to read and write Thai (1st grade).

It's not just about satisfying your balls and lust for young ladies. It's about living a full, complete family life. This brings you a kind of true joy that you simply cannot experience while being at a go-go bar, or while dating a young, single 20-year old.

Our daughter does not deserve to be abandoned for the second time by yet another selfish father simply because he has to satisfy his own selfish needs. Young children are innocent whether or not their their biological parents have been negligent, and do not deserve to be punished as such.
Last edited by Falcon on March 13th, 2017, 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 4:40 pm

Jonny Law wrote:DO NOT BE A FOOL!
YOUR THAI BITCH IS USING YOU!
Hypergamy
Hypergamy (colloquially referred to as "marrying up") is a term used in social science for the act or practice of a person marrying another of higher caste or social status than themselves.

KEEP YOUR OPTIONS OPEN!
Your Thai bitch is nicer to you because she wants your money!
Hypergamy usually kicks in with women after 30 years of age. And/or after a woman has a couple bastard kids.

SHE DOES NOT LOVE YOU SHE LOVES YOUR MONEY$$
Jonny Law, I am fully aware of how nasty many Thai women can be. But I can assure you, my girlfriend is not a witch. I can smell a Thai witch from a mile away. They have these sinister, cunning sly looks that creep the heck out of me. Unfortunately, many middle-aged white men end up with these witch types.

She is simple and kind, if not kind of naive. With Thais, it's not tat hard to tell who's naive and innocent, and who's a sly, scheming witch. Looks, vibe, what she says, her friends, her past, and so much more.

If she were gold-digging only, she would have gone for one of those old, lizard-like white retirees with a lot of money in the bank but no charisma. Now that there is me, there is no way her daughter would be able to accept a new Farang dad. Our daughter has told me she absolutely does not want a new dad. Her mother loves her and me to bits, so it's not likely that she would do so.

Plus she does not want a man who drinks or smokes. Period. She has never let any of her relatives raise her children either.

I'm a completely irreplaceable dad to our daughter. I have the charisma and love that no other guy can possibly show to the little Thai girl, and her mother totally recognizes that. Her mother has never let any of her relatives raise our daughter. It's like how Dianne chose Winston because of his charisma, even though he was much poorer than some of her suitors.

Actions speak louder than words.
And what has she done?

1. Like a very protective Chinese mom, she makes a lot of very delicious traditional dishes, and almost force-feeds me lol. She tells me to finish everything because she wants me to eat a lot, be healthy, not waste food, and be happy with what she made. Xiongmao also had a Chinese date like that. These women are very traditional and fiercely protective of their husbands.

2. She takes very good care of daughter, and said she would never let anyone else raise her. She is like this with our little girl and clearly feels that way towards me. To her, the little and me are her treasures in life.

3. She shows constant concern and care for me. Whether I am cold, hungry, tired, or sick. I also took good care of her in her hospital bed and at home after she had a motorcycle accident, and she said she would never forget the care and love that I showed me. Her face had a lot of bandages, and I told her that she was still just as beautiful to me, and really felt that way. She said that most guys would not have thought this way, and really appreciated me for that. In return, she always wanted to do things me and take good care of me, whether physically or emotionally.

Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4225
Joined: April 21st, 2010, 5:16 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Rock » March 13th, 2017, 4:55 pm

Hey Bird man,

Hope you can go the distance. Sounds like you found your happily ever after ala Outwest, Pete, Davewe, and Public Duende (joke haha).

Are you thinking life here? I mean in 15 years give or take, your beloved 'daughter' will likely find a new man to give bulk of her attention and your 'wife' may become radically different with onset of menopause. Are you truly a for better or worse kinda guy or will you get your own mid-life crisis then and dump them for a younger thing just as first guy did? What do you think?

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 5:00 pm

I don't know if your shy in real life but maybe not. The reason I think this way is because you mention you have hard time connecting with women your own age. Is it location? I mean what if your in some small town in CHina? Maybe your too mature for your age.
Not at all. I can easily make new friends and connect with people of all cultures and backgrounds.

I don't have a hard time making friends with women my own age at all. But as I've previously said in some friend zone threads, in the US I didn't end up actually attracting them. They did not find my creepy or ugly, but rather they all found me to be intelligent, well-read, and to be "one of the coolest friends they've ever met." Yeah, that's the friend zone. I'm the interesting nice guy, the well-traveled professor-like guy who they want to just be friends with.

In Asia, I also met quite a few women who were attracted to me. But I just happened to meet a woman who was somewhat older than me, and we just ended up living together without deliberately planning anything. And we found a unique happy family life together - one that is certainly irreplaceable.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 5:14 pm

Rock wrote:Hey Bird man,

Hope you can go the distance. Sounds like you found your happily ever after ala Outwest, Pete, Davewe, and Public Duende (joke haha).

Are you thinking life here? I mean in 15 years give or take, your beloved 'daughter' will likely find a new man to give bulk of her attention and your 'wife' may become radically different with onset of menopause. Are you truly a for better or worse kinda guy or will you get your own mid-life crisis then and dump them for a younger thing just as first guy did? What do you think?
But look at what 20-year-olds millenial girls are like in 2017 now. Taipei in 2003 vs. 2013 is already a huge difference for you. 15 years from now, what kind of dystopian nightmare might we be looking at? :P

That being said, a lot of change is likely to come 10-15 years down the road. We just can't predict what the future is going to bring us. My life is very fast-paced, and in a few years I ended up in places and situations where I would have never imagined to be possible.

But, come to think of it, somewhere deep down I guess I subconsciously crave motherly affection. I know this sounds strange to some men out there, but that's how I've always viewed my relationships with women. Almost every single woman I've been with has been older. I don't really know what it's like to be with a younger woman (except for my Mexican ex who was half a year younger than me), and they don't feel as satisfying to me anyways. It's like having some sweets and junk fast food (= younger gals) vs. a hearty, traditional family dinner (= older women who sort of satisfy everything for me).

To me, dumping her would be like dumping a mother. My second mother, really.

Of course, my girlfriend has more fears than I do. She sees girls my own age flirting with me on FB - Burmese, Filipinas, Thais, Chinese, Mexicans, Indonesians that I knew from my trips around the world. Still, I assure her that I'm there for her and won't dump her just to satisfy a lust for younger women, and that my actions will speak for my words.

Rock
Elite Upper Class Poster
Posts: 4225
Joined: April 21st, 2010, 5:16 pm

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Rock » March 13th, 2017, 5:31 pm

Falcon wrote:
Rock wrote:Hey Bird man,

Hope you can go the distance. Sounds like you found your happily ever after ala Outwest, Pete, Davewe, and Public Duende (joke haha).

Are you thinking life here? I mean in 15 years give or take, your beloved 'daughter' will likely find a new man to give bulk of her attention and your 'wife' may become radically different with onset of menopause. Are you truly a for better or worse kinda guy or will you get your own mid-life crisis then and dump them for a younger thing just as first guy did? What do you think?
But look at what 20-year-olds millenial girls are like in 2017 now. Taipei in 2003 vs. 2013 is already a huge difference for you. 15 years from now, what kind of dystopian nightmare might we be looking at? :P

That being said, a lot of change is likely to come 10-15 years down the road. We just can't predict what the future is going to bring us. My life is very fast-paced, and in a few years I ended up in places and situations where I would have never imagined to be possible.

But, come to think of it, somewhere deep down I guess I subconsciously crave motherly affection. I know this sounds strange to some men out there, but that's how I've always viewed my relationships with women. Almost every single woman I've been with has been older. I don't really know what it's like to be with a younger woman (except for my Mexican ex who was half a year younger than me), and they don't feel as satisfying to me anyways. It's like having some sweets and junk fast food (= younger gals) vs. a hearty, traditional family dinner (= older women who sort of satisfy everything for me).

Of course, my girlfriend has more fears than I do. She sees girls my own age flirting with me on FB - Burmese, Filipinas, Thais, Chinese, Mexicans, Indonesians that I knew from my trips around the world. Still, I assure her that I'm there for her and won't dump her just to satisfy a lust for younger women, and that my actions will speak for my words.
Perhaps if she becomes more bitchy after meno, you can come to some understanding which allows you to have some fun and friends on the side as long as you stay with her. Maybe you have something like that in place already, even if you haven't told her yet lol.

I'm amazed that in the Philippines, there are still some millennial girls who are as sweet pie. A young girl who I've dated here for over 18 months has the latest iPhone (recent gift from her father working overseas) and is active on FB (mainly with her family though). She's heavily into western music from 70s and 80s and movies and styles from even earlier eras. Her personality and outlook strongly suggests 'old soul' and she's proven to be very sincere and reliable.

This month, I'm staying at a different condo complex then I normally stay at. This one is full of middle class Filipinos and much fewer expats than the other one. Everything I see here suggests that even middle class urban Filippinos are heavily into kids and family. They marry in their 20s and start popping out babies, typically 1-4. They work and have careers but their heart is with the kids, spouse, parents, and extended relatives. Ask Starchild and he'll tell you. This place, in spite of smartphones and social media, is still way behind the west and developed Asia when it comes to cultural corruption.

Falcon
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1844
Joined: November 7th, 2011, 12:59 am

Re: Staying in Thailand or moving on?

Post by Falcon » March 13th, 2017, 5:37 pm

Glad to know there are still millenials in the Philippines who can be gems. I experienced this myself in the Philippines, and noticed that many millenials there seem to have something about them that keeps that relatively simple, happy, and down-to-earth. This is why Winston can connect with so many younger girls there lol.

Also, I'm wondering what other younger man - older woman relationship (serious long-term ones, not flings or short-term crushes) you are aware of?
I think I asked you this a few years ago, and you said that sometimes younger guys would bang older hookers or play around with cougars for a few months. But as for something long-term and stable - which case examples are you aware of, from your personal experience (not just the Extreme Cougar Wives TV show haha)?

Post Reply
  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to “Questions and Advice”