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21 and lost in America

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kingja200
Freshman Poster
Posts: 2
Joined: September 4th, 2017, 1:23 am

21 and lost in America

Post by kingja200 » September 4th, 2017, 1:50 am

Hi all. I am a 21 year old male living in NYC. I will make this really short and simple to the point. I am really lost and not doing well mentally and emotionally. I went to college for a few years and terribly disliked it. I didn't see how it would help and it was so much money and I had no clue what I was doing. I went to trade school and studied a few trades but it didn't fit my personality. I then somehow got into the diamond business. I found my passion for sure! I went to GIA and earned a diamond degree. For about 6 months now I have been applying to so many diamond companies it has been a joke. I have done everything. I have emailed multiple times and hand wrote letters with resumes to over 200 companies all getting ignored. I did not know the diamond business was so bad and it is basically becoming an extinct business. Anyway through my networking my diamond cutter/friend offered me some wedding hall waiter job in his neighborhood. I will be taking it. My question is how will I actually make it in life? 20K a year is not a life or a career. I am really nervous and have no clue how it will be all ok. Oh also, I live alone in my grandparents apartment they help me out with about 200 bucks a month, I eat once a day and am on government help and my parents don't care about me or talk to me. I come from a non loving
sick dysfunctional family. I had to move leave because of the emotional and other forms of abuse. A good example that challenges my daily life is they forced me to get plastic surgery on my nose when I was 18 and it got f***ed up. I had to get 2 more surgeries and they would not even pay for it. To this day I am still having complications and I have pain and discomfort all day. I cannot find any good jobs, I have no true friends really, I barely have a family, I have tried for years to get a girl and have not even got a kiss, I am really really depressed and unhappy. The economy and society in America makes me sick...I cannot figure it out. I am all alone and am dying each day. I wake up not knowing what the next day will have in store for me. I spend most of my day just walking around or sitting on the couch. Any advice you can tell a 21 year old in my situation. I have read all the articles by Winston and listened to all the podcasts and have read all his books. I have been following him for about 2 years now and never got a chance to post. I want to leave USA so badly but it is hard in my situation. I have about 400 bucks to my total life. I need guidance guys...

Thank you my friends

Jared

xtravel
Freshman Poster
Posts: 76
Joined: July 10th, 2015, 8:06 pm

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by xtravel » September 4th, 2017, 5:00 pm

kingja200 wrote:I have done everything. I have emailed multiple times and hand wrote letters with resumes to over 200 companies all getting ignored.
I don't know what it means to be in the diamond business, but applying for jobs at places where no one knows you is a waste of time.

At the very least you need to stand out. Try calling the hiring manager, and give him a reason why he should hire you.
kingja200 wrote: Anyway through my networking my diamond cutter/friend offered me some wedding hall waiter job in his neighborhood. I will be taking it. My question is how will I actually make it in life? 20K a year is not a life or a career.
No, it's a start. You have a job. Most adult Americans have nothing. The single digit unemployment rate is a mirage.

You had opportunities in college and trade school that you turned down, so now you have to make the best of it. Get good at this, and then find a job in a restaurant where the tips are better. Get good at that, and find a job as a restaurant manager. Good good at that, and find a job as a GM. Now you might say, you won't have passion for this. Passion burns out; greed is sustainable.

If you can live frugally on $20K, then every dollar you take home beyond $20K can be saved and then invested. Toward a dream of life abroad.
kingja200 wrote:I have no true friends really,
Other than the guy who got you the job at the wedding hall. He's a true friend who came through in the most tangible way. Now, don't mess up at work and make him look bad.
kingja200 wrote:I barely have a family,
Other than your grandparents giving you $200 a night.
kingja200 wrote: I have tried for years to get a girl and have not even got a kiss, [...] I have about 400 bucks to my total life. I need guidance guys...
Well read the story you painted and ask yourself if a girl reading that would want any part of you?

After you start work, and get a paycheck, download tinder.

kingja200
Freshman Poster
Posts: 2
Joined: September 4th, 2017, 1:23 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by kingja200 » September 4th, 2017, 6:04 pm

I get 200 a month approx not a night.... College was not for me and I tried to get into the trades but I could not find any jobs and I really didn't see myself as a welder or locksmith all my life. The girls doesn't have to do with money it just american bs femenism f***ed uo women...I tried all sites tinder and 5 others..all a waste of time...

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Contrarian Expatriate
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Posts: 2169
Joined: December 3rd, 2009, 6:57 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by Contrarian Expatriate » September 4th, 2017, 9:17 pm

It sounds as if your parents may have played a role in your current state. Couple of things:

-Lose the delusion that you need to find work in your passion. Most people hate their jobs but like the lifestyle and income they provide. If you cannot find a diamond cutting occupation, either relocate and find one, or start developing other avenues.

-Seek professional counseling to explore who and what contributed to your current state.

-Get those negative and toxic people OUT OF YOUR LIFE. This include parents and family if it applies. If you keep them in your life, the role you play and the role they play WILL NOT CHANGE.

-Part of your problem is the lack of experience (positive and negative) which enables people to figure out what they want. I discovered myself and my passion in the military and later a bit in University. Take a year and travel abroad or work in another state and get experiences and exposure that illuminate your passions.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate

snede
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Posts: 44
Joined: December 20th, 2016, 6:57 pm

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by snede » September 4th, 2017, 10:08 pm

Get out of NYC. Go get a TEFL/TESOL certificate and go teach English overseas. Maybe you'll love it, maybe you won't, just commit to doing it for a year and then decide.

Lots of information on Dave's ESL Cafe and English Teacher X has written a number of books. Even Roosh spent time teaching English.

This will turn your life upside down and force you to develop a completely new social circle wherever you move to.

Johnny1975
Experienced Poster
Posts: 1461
Joined: September 23rd, 2012, 12:07 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by Johnny1975 » September 4th, 2017, 11:39 pm

It would be easier to read your post if you could separate it into paragraphs.
Location Independent Expat Relocate​

If you want to move abroad, but you can't decide where, I can help you.

http://lierelocate.weebly.com/

chomommablack
Freshman Poster
Posts: 24
Joined: September 8th, 2017, 11:55 am
Location: NYC

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by chomommablack » September 11th, 2017, 8:39 pm

You have a LOT going on man. I think due to your experience with Diamonds you should consider relocating to Africa. Do you like Black Women?

Before you think about Women you have got to get some food in your mouth. Are you malnourished? Maslov's hierarchy of needs...

If you can't make the Diamond thing work as another person said you need to look potentially into other industries.

MrMan
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Posts: 2176
Joined: July 31st, 2014, 3:52 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by MrMan » September 12th, 2017, 4:43 am

I don't think the articles you mentioned that you've been reading will help you with feeling depressed. They may make you discontent where you are.

Faith and an emotional support network may help with the depression. Have you considered going to church?

When you say you studied about diamonds, was that studying to be a jeweler? What about other gems? Did you learn to cut diamonds or value them?

Have you applied for work outside of NYC? Have you tried getting a lower paying job in jewelry retail? At least it would be in the same industry. It could be employers want someone with more experience. If you can get your foot in the door with a job you are underqualified for, but with a company that has some standing in the industry, that might help you put something useful on your resume. If you are jumping from Burger King or Walmart to working in some high-paying diamond-related job at 21 years old, it may be hard to beat your competition for those same positions.

Are there opportunities to work as a free intern in your field? What about paid internships? If you could work part-time and work as a free intern to get experience and network with potential employers, that might help.

Btw, there is a whole world outside of that city. Lots of other places are cheaper and have a better ratio of salary to cost of living.

Mike42Night
Freshman Poster
Posts: 14
Joined: May 17th, 2017, 2:01 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by Mike42Night » September 12th, 2017, 2:08 pm

Plenty of good advice here already given so I will try not repeat what was already said.
1. Meet-Ups: Meet people with similar Interests like travel, foreign languages and singles groups; With so many meet ups available this one of few pluses of living in NYC. Maybe these groups can give you some ideas, help you choose a language, and select a foreign country.
2. Like into apps like stash to Invest money because even if small amounts can add up because of your age. Explore and start learning a language now and try to finish college if possible.
Look into teaching English abroad.
3. Volunteer abroad or try the peace core.
4. Unless your unattractive I don't understand why your so depressed, you seem to have it pretty good.
This is the problem with USA CULTure people are so focused on what they lack, Instead try focusing what you have:
1. Own apartment in NYC,
2. Grand parents helping out.
3. Live in large international city.
4. Have a job.
5. Parents willing to pay for plastic surgery.
This is actually a good sign as your receiving a valuable lesson on the importance of looks and this is far better then your parents giving you the women care more about what's on the inside circle jerk.
6. Are looks an issue?
7. Possible you don't vibe with the superficial, consumerist, PC culture of New York City ( USA on steroids); I know I didn't and despite being a metro area of 20 million+ people NYC is actually one loneliness cities in the USA.

Mike42Night
Freshman Poster
Posts: 14
Joined: May 17th, 2017, 2:01 am

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by Mike42Night » September 12th, 2017, 2:16 pm

Are looks an issue? Or is it possible you don't vibe with the superficial, consumerist, PC culture of New York City ( USA on steroids); I know I didn't and despite being a metro area of 20 million+ people NYC is actually one loneliness cities in the USA.
1. Meet-Ups: Meet people with similar Interests like travel, foreign languages and singles groups; With so many meet ups available this one of few pluses of living in NYC. Maybe these groups can give you some ideas, help you choose a language, and select a foreign country.
2. Look into apps like stash to Invest money because even if small amounts can add up because of your age. Explore and start learning a language now and try to finish college if possible.
Look into teaching English abroad.
3. Volunteer abroad or try the peace core.
4. Unless your unattractive I don't understand why your so depressed, you seem to have it pretty good.
This is the problem with USA CULTure people are so focused on what they lack, Instead try focusing what you have:
1. Own apartment in NYC,
2. Grand parents helping out.
3. Live in large international city.
4. Have a job.
5. Parents willing to pay for plastic surgery.
This is actually a good sign as your receiving a valuable lesson on the importance of looks and this is far better then your parents giving you the women don't care about looks circle jerk.

chomommablack
Freshman Poster
Posts: 24
Joined: September 8th, 2017, 11:55 am
Location: NYC

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by chomommablack » September 12th, 2017, 10:25 pm

All good points Mike except frankly STASH invest sucks. I made $2 over 2 months. Garbage returns at low investment levels (>$100) no customization (which is the WORST, because why else would I choose a random app over an established company if not for customization options???) and no better than my (or any) 401k. Meanwhile I made $5 return on a $40 investment sitting on Ethereum and Litecoin in about 2 weeks.

I would advise Kingja to look into Cryptocurrency. Theoretically you can get in with as little as $20 and make it into $20k if you really really live and breathe the stuff. There is still opportunity to flip on the speculative market. Just so long as you educate yourself and know when to get out. I am trying to get into it now but it's time resource intensive. If you have time to study it the world can be your oyster if you master it.

wanderlust
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Posts: 95
Joined: June 6th, 2013, 4:02 pm
Location: central US

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by wanderlust » September 18th, 2017, 5:35 pm

Hello kingja,

Never happy to hear about someone caught between a rock and a hard place, but it's more common than you think. Some of the other posters here are on to something. You might do well to leave NYC, sometimes just changing your location can provide a fresh start, get you out of the rut. If you landed a job elsewhere, maybe relatives would lend you a little cash to relocate there?

Here are a few things you have on your side:

- You're still young. Things can change rapidly at your age. Possibilities can open up - work, love, etc, it's a dynamic time of life.
- You have some schooling under your belt - hasn't materialized into anything yet, but could become useful.
- You have enough initiative that you're exploring what to change.

As far as love, it's harder to find that if you're disoriented and dissatisfied in your personal life, so solving the work situation could help you out that way.

The area where I live there are many of industrial/trade jobs that would likely hire someone with your background. Realistically you could double your pay, or more, at one of them. Cost of living here is much lower too, maybe half compared to NYC. It's not too difficult to get hired. PM if you are interested.

Do you have any interest in computer work? Some have found success after learning to program. Don't know much about the industry but you might consider it.

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Yohan
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Joined: April 3rd, 2014, 6:05 am
Location: Tokyo, JAPAN

Re: 21 and lost in America

Post by Yohan » September 18th, 2017, 6:59 pm

kingja200 wrote: I am a 21 year old male

I come from a non loving sick dysfunctional family. I had to move leave because of the emotional and other forms of abuse.

I have no true friends really, I barely have a family, I have tried for years to get a girl

I am really really depressed and unhappy. The economy and society in America makes me sick...
These sentences out of your posting could be written by myself out of my own personal experiences when I was 21 years old.
The only difference I see - I was living in Europe and at that time I never had a problem to find a job, I always had a rather low, but regular monthly income and full health insurance cover.

I can only advice you to prepare yourself to move out of the States with the clear intention never to return.

After arrival somewhere in this world - whreever it might be - never complain and teach locals that this or that was better in the States because of human rights, women rights, animals rights - stay away from talking about moral values with the bible in your hands and so on - just take the life over there as it is.

I did that, I never came back and I never regretted it.

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