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Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

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Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 20th, 2018, 9:00 pm

Dear Everyone,

As many of you know, I'm kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place in several ways. As all my close friends will tell you, I'm a White person on the inside and an Asian person on the outside. I'm also a freethinker, philosopher and deep soul too, which makes me even less Asian. In Asia, only simple minded Asian girls with low standards and are poor like me. But the thing is, mainstream Asians are purely practical and conformist and materialistic. They have a hive mind like the Borg collective on Star Trek, which kills any creativity in them, since they live for sameness, not uniqueness. They cannot connect with a freethinker or deep soul. So such women and I have no inner connection and aren't on the same wavelength at all. But the thing is, there are open minded Asian women, even in America, not just in Asia, who are more westernized and broad minded and international minded, who are good at connecting with foreigners. However the problem is such Asian women usually like WHITE men, not Asian Americans like me. So they don't want me either. Hence I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Now, in Europe or Russia, I am much better able to connect with the white women there, because they are on a similar wavelength with me. They are more soulful and intellectual, and can discuss ideas and go beyond mere practical issues that Asian women cannot. They are more broad minded, open minded, curious, passionate, and have a variety of interests, like me. So my inner self and personality connects with them better. However, the problem there is that white women tend to prefer only white men. And they are picky about looks too. They prefer men who are TALL (which I'm not) and athletic looking and white too. So I don't match their physical type. Hence they usually only like me as platonic friends, not romantically. So again, I'm between a rock and a hard place. There seems to be a mismatch between my inner and outer self which doesn't allow me to be accepted by either Asian or White women.

Is it possible to solve this type of dilemma? What should I do? Any suggestions? It seems the two options I have are:

1) Stay in Asia and hopefully find a decent woman who can relate to me, who is open minded, intelligent and not too uneducated. And is attractive enough for me too. Find a compromise between the typical materialistic Asian woman and the broad minded spiritual type. Even though such types usually prefer white men, there may be an exception. Chances of this happening are probably better in SE Asia though, such as Philippines, Vietnam, Indonesia, maybe Thailand too, than in China or NE Asia.
2) Go to Europe and find a white woman who is into Asian men. However the problem with this solution is that: a) Such women tend to be average looking or unattractive and so may not be my type; b) Such women will expect me to be Asian on the inside and outside; c) They may not vibe with me as well, because they are attracted to Asian cultures whereas I am attracted to European cultures, so we have dissimilar souls, because a woman drawn to a foreign culture usually has part of that culture already within herself too.

So you see, this is complicated. Honestly I prefer option #2, because my soul is more European than Asian, and I feel a lot more home in Europe than Asia or America. Asia and America are way too conformist, materialistic and workaholic for me. They lack the soulfulness and broad mindedness that Europe has. I'm tired of America and Asian cultures. They aren't soulful cultures. They are cultures where people believe that life is all about MAKING MONEY only, which I don't agree with and doesn't reflect me or my soul. So basically, I'm tired of being in cultures where I don't fit into the collective mindset. I prefer to be in cultures where I fit into the collective mindset and culture. I've also heard that I may like Latin America too, but I've never been there so I can't comment on it, though it's probably true.

What do you all think? What's the best solution?

Of course, I also have the basic dilemma that Asian Americans go through too, in that they are stuck between two cultures, and neither culture fully accepts them. In Asia, they cannot be taken as mainstream because their personality is American and westernized. But in America, they cannot be taken as real Americans because they are not white and look asian. So they are not accepted by either side.

However, even that dilemma is more complex for me than for most other Asian Americans. Because most Asian Americans are still very conformist and live primarily for career, status and achievement, like they are taught to do so. They aren't trying to be themselves. And they are very cliquish too, and socialize only within cliques. They aren't open minded enough to talk to strangers, and they aren't freethinkers either. And they think inside the box, not outside of it. They are also interested in only practical materialistic things too, and like almost all Asians, are copy/memorization machines, not true intellectuals who can discuss new ideas or come up with original ideas on their own. No way. Their smarts consist only in rote memorization. So being conformists, they have an easier time fitting into America or Asia than I do. Thus being a nonconformist freethinking Asian American is one of the loneliest and rarest blends that one can be.

So you see, my dilemma and contradiction and conflict go way beyond what the average Asian American experiences.

So what to do? Any suggestions? I've been meaning to start a post about this for a long time.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by fdiv » June 21st, 2018, 1:18 am

How far into the Asian part of Russia (and Russian influenced countries) did you go? Have you heard about Kyrgyzstan? I think you'd be more likely to find what you seek in these areas. Traveling in these areas are rough for sure, with poor roads and NO English. But you speak Russian ok, right? Well there are plenty of Russian speakers in these areas. But at least women in these areas would have some education. Chinese looking and white/Chinese mixture looking girls are in this area. They are also taller than you will find in other parts of Asia. Have you seen this?:
http://old.kabar.kg/eng/society/full/16547 :shock:
options in the US: maybe have a shot at a angry bluehaired landwhale and then, prison :roll:
options abroad: limitless 8)

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 21st, 2018, 5:46 am

You mean like Siberia or Kazakhstan or Kyrgyzstan? How far east should I go? Past Yekaterinburg? I have heard that Eastern Russia is more Asian friendly, yeah, but more primitive and maybe more dangerous too. Not many westerners go there though. How about the part of Russia above China? Does anyone have firsthand experience rather than speculation?
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by momopi » June 21st, 2018, 7:53 pm

If your goal is to go to Europe and find a girl for LTR or marriage then make it your primary objective.

Everything else that deviates from the primary objective is distraction and put on hold, including:
* Other people’s business / drama
* Conspiracy theories
* WW2 history
* Dental fillings
* Ranting about TW/US/PH/etc
* Blaming the creator of the universe or Murphy’s law
* Looking at the “big picture” (focus only on your goal)
* Making excuses on why you would fail

At any time when you deviate from the primary objective, all your friends and forum members should immediately shut down the conversation and ask “what have you done today to reach your primary objective?”

No “but”. Make the determination and give it all, including personal trainer, improving financial status (Europe is expensive) and cosmetic surgery as needed.

If you have already given up then please close this thread immediately so we don’t waste any more time on it.

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by fdiv » June 21st, 2018, 9:55 pm

momopi wrote:
June 21st, 2018, 7:53 pm
If your goal is to go to Europe and find a girl for LTR or marriage then make it your primary objective.

Everything else that deviates from the primary objective is distraction and put on hold, including:
* Other people’s business / drama
* Conspiracy theories
* WW2 history
* Dental fillings
* Ranting about TW/US/PH/etc
* Blaming the creator of the universe or Murphy’s law
* Looking at the “big picture” (focus only on your goal)
* Making excuses on why you would fail

At any time when you deviate from the primary objective, all your friends and forum members should immediately shut down the conversation and ask “what have you done today to reach your primary objective?”

No “but”. Make the determination and give it all, including personal trainer, improving financial status (Europe is expensive) and cosmetic surgery as needed.

If you have already given up then please close this thread immediately so we don’t waste any more time on it.
HAHAHA
I just got this funny image in my mind of Master Yoda as a Drill Instructor! HAHAHAH Jarhead jedi, hahaha
options in the US: maybe have a shot at a angry bluehaired landwhale and then, prison :roll:
options abroad: limitless 8)

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 21st, 2018, 11:00 pm

momopi wrote:
June 21st, 2018, 7:53 pm
If your goal is to go to Europe and find a girl for LTR or marriage then make it your primary objective.

Everything else that deviates from the primary objective is distraction and put on hold, including:
* Other people’s business / drama
* Conspiracy theories
* WW2 history
* Dental fillings
* Ranting about TW/US/PH/etc
* Blaming the creator of the universe or Murphy’s law
* Looking at the “big picture” (focus only on your goal)
* Making excuses on why you would fail

At any time when you deviate from the primary objective, all your friends and forum members should immediately shut down the conversation and ask “what have you done today to reach your primary objective?”

No “but”. Make the determination and give it all, including personal trainer, improving financial status (Europe is expensive) and cosmetic surgery as needed.

If you have already given up then please close this thread immediately so we don’t waste any more time on it.
That's the goal in my heart yes. But did you read about my dilemma? What's the optimum solution? Do you even read the posts you respond to? Yes going to Europe is a goal, but it's not the only goal. I have multiple goals, like many evolved people do, not just one. What about my goal of being a spiritual seeker? Doesn't that mean I should go to India as well? But you wouldn't understand that of course, since you're an atheist and not a spiritual person, so to you such things don't exist. Because you're spiritually dead and blind to the divine nature of reality and to the divine essence within yourself too.

Even if I go to Europe, no one knows what will happen, and whether I will be happier there or not. Anywhere you go will bring a different set of problems. I'm sure you know that. Why are you so singular minded and narrow minded? Plus where in Europe would I go, and should I go to live long term or for traveling only? What's the ideal solution? You're not addressing that. Anyone can buy a plane ticket and go somewhere, but we need a plan or outline too.

Btw, why are mercury dental fillings not an issue? They are toxic and damage your brain slowly. Scientists and metallurgists and chemists say so. Many people have had their ailments alleviated once their mercury fillings came out. How do you explain that? Why do you keep dodging hard questions that contradict your narrow view of reality? Poisoning your brain is definitely an important issue. You can't deny that. You were wrong when you said that small amounts of mercury is not harmful except to a few who are allergic to it. I watched a lot of documentaries that addressed that and said that you were WRONG, so why don't you change your beliefs in accord with the evidence? Why are your beliefs fixed? Why do you believe everything the ADA tells you? Because you're asian and your genes are hardwired to believe authority is always right, just like ants and bees believe their queen is always right, right? lol

Btw Europe is not always expensive. If you go to Eastern Europe or Southern, it's a lot cheaper. Eurobrat just returned from Bucharest, Romania and he said prices were low there. You need to do more research or see the bigger picture. Try to overcome your Asian limits.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by momopi » June 21st, 2018, 11:45 pm

Make a list of your goals and number them by priority.

If dental fillings is the first priority then put everything else on hold and work on dental filling remediation until the task has been completed. This means stop watching documentaries and go find a dentist who will do the work.

When the first priority has been completed move to the second one. If any priority is ranked higher than going to Europe then ask yourself why they are ranked higher.

If you just want to talk and waste time then do it on your own dime.

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 21st, 2018, 11:54 pm

Of course prioritizing your time is important @momopi and of course, I have shitty time management skills. Plus for some reason my body needs 10 or 11 hours of sleep sometimes. I don't know why. I guess I will have to google it to see why that is. I thought the human body only needs 8 hours of sleep. A lot of factors are against me. Plus I have too many interests too, unlike most. Seeking knowledge and wisdom through books and documentaries is not a waste of time. It's food for the soul and mind too.

But what is your solution to my dilemma above? That's the issue in this thread. Your advice is to go to Europe then? Which part of Europe? Is it best to live there permanently or only half or the year or a quarter of the year?

Why not Latin America? I may be compatible there too. @El_Caudillo said I would like Argentina because the women there are open to flirting and like it, and the men like to talk about deep subjects like philosophy so it would fit me well.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 22nd, 2018, 12:13 am

Also @momopi as I mentioned in my OP, the problem or downside with Europe is that although I connect better with the women there, in terms of soul and mind, they are not attracted to me physically. Because I am not tall, white and athletic. So they will only like me as a platonic friend, not romantically. That was the downside and dilemma. What's your solution to that? That was the issue here. Remember? Didn't you read the OP?

Is the best solution to go there anyway and hope for a miracle, believing that if you are meant to be there, the universe will make good things happen for you? Yes sometimes luck and miracles do happen. Some people do get lucky. But you can't bet on that.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by momopi » June 22nd, 2018, 12:28 am

First, please provide a short list of goals ranked by priority.

This is where you must make the hard decisions to sacrifice/defer certain goals over others.

Once the top priority has been identified we can proceed to make a task list specific to the goal.

Why are we doing this? We talked about dental fillings back in 2010 when I told you to get tested. There are blood/urine/fecal tests for heavy metals that will assist in remediation efforts. 8 years later you’re still talking and not doing. Your inaction is probably more harmful to yourself at this point.

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 22nd, 2018, 1:00 am

momopi wrote:
June 22nd, 2018, 12:28 am
First, please provide a short list of goals ranked by priority.

This is where you must make the hard decisions to sacrifice/defer certain goals over others.

Once the top priority has been identified we can proceed to making a task list specific to the goal.

Why are we doing this? We talked about dental fillings back in 2010 when I told you to get tested. There are blood/urine/fecal tests for heavy metal that will assist in remediation efforts. 8 years later you’re still talking and not doing. Your inaction is probably more harmful to yourself by this point.
You didn't answer my question and dodged it again. What's the best solution to my dilemma outlined above in the OP? Did you even read it?

What if all my goals have the same priority? Also, some goals such as finding a soulmate or wife, are out of my control and not a choice of free will. Others are.

Like I said, your claim that mercury is only bad for those allergic to it, is false. Watch the documentary "Quicksilver". It explains in detail why that is not true. And also CBS 60 Minutes and the BBC report also said it wasn't true too. See below. If you are a truth seeker, this should change your mind. You need to update your beliefs in accord with evidence momopi, not hold fixed beliefs like closed minded atheists and Christians do.

Quicksilver The Strange Story of Dental Amalgam
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP6IR65DjLE

I was planning to get the fillings replaced in Taiwan but can't find the time for it, and plus my dentist is recommending against it, like you are, because he believes everything the ADA says and doesn't do any research or critical thinking. Like you, he believes all truth comes from authority, just like ants and bees do. That's why you asians are hardwired to be worker bees.

Moreover, did you consider that MAYBE I am suffering brain damage right now from mercury fillings, hence my inability to organize time or prioritize? Think about it. After all, a lot of people have claimed that removing mercury from their teeth did cure them of their chronic ailments. How do you explain that?
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by momopi » June 22nd, 2018, 7:41 am

Winston, until you have identified a short list of goals ranked by priority, please do not waste my time or yours. If your brain is functional enough to write lengthy excuses, it’s good enough to rank and prioritize goals.

Again, for dental filling remediation I told you to get tested back in 2010 and 2012. The test will show heavy metal levels. Instead of getting tested you opted to spend your time watching documentaries. If you have health issues as the result of your own inaction after 8 years, it’s on you so don’t blame anyone else.

Also, you went to the dentist on Jan 16 2013 and May 19 2015. You made the choice of not getting your fillings replaced because you didn’t want to pay $330 per tooth. Instead you wanted to see if it can be done for less in Thailand. You made the choice to not remediate your dental fillings back then to save a buck.
Last edited by momopi on June 22nd, 2018, 11:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by xiongmao » June 22nd, 2018, 1:19 pm

You should visit Zhejiang Province, the ladies here are whiter than Eastern European ladies lol.

I think you are in the same mid 40's dating trap I'm in. Women in their mid-30's think I'm like 50 and they think they're still 20.

It takes a long time to integrate into East Asian culture. There are so few foreigners here and the hive mindset is strong here. Well on the upside they leave me alone most of the time.

I have lost 5 kg here in the last 9 months. Mostly because everywhere is so far to walk and teaching is a much more active job than being a cubicle slave for 40 hours a week.

Maybe you could check out Hangzhou. It's got great places to eat, there is practically no crime and there are stunning white legged ladies everywhere. Also there are lots of non-conformists there. It could be a good place to look for free thinkers. There were practically no foreigners there so you'd also be a bit of a pioneer.

P.S. One of my students went on a mad train journey from Zhejiang to the bit of China next to Russia. It gets seriously cold there. I told him to climb into his freezer to warm up.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by Winston » June 22nd, 2018, 8:44 pm

momopi wrote:
June 22nd, 2018, 7:41 am
Winston, until you have identified a short list of goals ranked by priority, please do not waste my time or yours. If your brain is functional enough to write lengthy excuses, it’s good enough to rank and prioritize goals.

Again, for dental filling remediation I told you to get tested back in 2010 and 2013. The test will show heavy metal levels. Instead of getting tested you opted to spend your time watching documentaries. If you have health issues as the result of your own inaction after 8 years, it’s on you so don’t blame anyone else.

Also, you went to the dentist on Jan 16 2013 and May 19 2015. You made the choice of not getting your fillings replaced because you didn’t want to pay $330 per tooth. Instead you wanted to see if it can be done for less in Thailand. You made the choice to not remediate your dental fillings back then to save a buck.
@momopi excuse me do you have a reading comprehension problem? I thought you were an educated man. Why do you say I should close this thread if I don't make list of tasks to do to get to Europe ASAP? Excuse me but did you read the thread title? Why are YOU wasting my time if you can't even read the thread title or OP? The thread title says "Winston's dilemma - Any advice?" NOT "How do I get to Europe ASAP?"

I asked for an optimum solution to my dilemma of being between a rock and a hard place. Why did you forget that and assume that my question was "How do I prioritize my life so I can get to Europe ASAP?" Do you understand the difference between those two questions? I thought you were smart? Why you playing games and twisting things? That's not logical. I thought you were Spock. I guess not. Spock would not misread a thread title or simple question.

Of course if I wanted to go to Europe now, I'd buy a plane ticket and pack my bags and book some hostels to stay at. Very easy. I'm experienced at this. So you MISUNDERSTOOD my question.

Tested for what? Mercury allergies? I told you, that's a myth created by the ADA. Mercury is toxic in general to everyone, not just to a few that are allergic. Do you understand?

Actually, I can get it done in Taiwan for free. But the dentist is advising against it. That's why I'm composing a letter to him first to explain why his beliefs are wrong and a list of documentaries for him to watch to do some research, because he is badly misinformed and assumes, like you do, that organizations like the ADA always tell the truth and are always right. You Asians are terrible at truth seeking, no offense.
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Re: Winston's Dilemma - White/Asian & Inner/Outer Mismatch - Any Solutions?

Post by momopi » June 22nd, 2018, 10:50 pm

I did not ask you to make a task list. I asked you to provide a short list of goals ranked by priority.

As stated earlier, once your primary goal has been identified I can assist in compiling task list toward the goal, including remediation steps to address issues preventing you from reaching the goal — personal trainer, cosmetic surgery/procedures, improving finances, etc.

This is necessary because I told you to get tested for heavy metals in 2010 & 2012, and instead of getting the test that will show heavy metal levels in your blood/system, you watched documentaries and made excuses. There is no point in providing advice or suggestions if you’re unwilling to act on it and blame others for your own inaction.

If you suspect that you have STD, are you going to watch documentaries and talk about it for 8 years without getting tested?

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