Winston wrote: ↑July 6th, 2018, 4:00 am
OP,
Did you talk to Grace? Everyone deserves a second chance.
Hey Winston! Yes, I still do keep in touch with Grace. I message her, and she sends me messages too. I don't have to worry about tyrant mom snooping around, since she flew back to home last weekend.
Yes, everybody deserves a second chance. Heck, Grace event told me she forgave me when she found out that I was communicating with "J" the other filipina, and also after the over-the-phone break up in mid-March.
But does she deserve it? What are the positive things about her? Has she promised to change her faults?
yes, Grace has told me that she will be more caring and loving towards me when I visit her. She also wanted to talk to my mom on the phone and apologize for her "tampo" and being rude to me. However, my mom is already pissed, and Grace basically ruined the whole thing. Everything was smooth flowing and my mom was good with Grace and everything. Until the most-recent visit where we argued over money, because to me, I felt that I was being used by Grace and her older sister.
Actually, had the older sister not come along with us to Manila, I would not have mind spending my money on everything for Grace. But since I had ill-feelings towards the older sister for being cold, and not talking to me....I did not want to pay money for the older sister, not a single penny. That is what upset me, and made me talk about that with Grace, where I told Grace that I felt like I was being used. Then that made her upset and go into "tampo" mode where she sat there and sobbed, and just starred at the wall without even answering my questions or responding to me at all!
If she wants a second chance, she should make a case as to why she deserves it
Her case? LOL. She told me that she forgave me when she found out that I was in touch with "J" the other filipina who was introduced to me at my former workplace. And also forgave me after the March break up.
So to her, those are the reasons why I should forgive Grace for not responding to me when we had that argument in the hotel room.
However, what does not sit right with me is, how is the older sister thinking of me right now? Yes, Grace can be sorry for what she's done. But is her older sister also sorry for yelling at me?
I am itching to tell Grace to have her older sister send me an apology text messages. But I know that is going to make the older sister more angry as hell, and will not resolve the situation.
and what she learned from her mistakes and how she will do it differently next time. Maybe Filipinos aren't that rational and organized to do that, but if someone makes a good case, admitting her faults and mistakes, and apologizing for them, and explains how she will do things differently next time, then that's a valid case to give someone a second chance. Right?
LOL, wow, your comments of Filipino's not being rational with organized thinking is kind of too far off the edge, eh?
Nah, but I can see where you're coming from, Winston.
I have worked with a lot of Filipino's in the medical/hospital industry, and yeah, some of them can be irrational.
You gotta weigh her pros and cons. What are her pros? I know the guys here are kind of cynical and critical, so they will only focus on the cons. But you gotta weigh her pros as well.
Pro's for me.
1) Less loneliness living here. It has (and still is) been difficult to find a girlfriend here in the US. Yes, I re-iterate this many times in a lot of my posts. I have used Coffee Meets Bagel dating app, E-harmoney, Match.com, and while I did have face-to-face dates, I could not find a girlfriend who wanted to be in a real relationship with me.
So right now, I have a condo that I have purchased (with my mom's assistance! Hehehe), and this place was supposed to be for me and Grace to live in, and maybe, have one child together, and then we eventually move out into a house. Now, I feel more lonely and isolated (however, I also feel so comfortable with this large condo....I feel like a f***ing king some times!!)
2) Tax. For those of you who don't know, uncle Sam, and your local government deduct MORE taxes from your pay-check if you are a single person.
My friend who works as an MD anesthesiologist making a shitload of money, told me that there were drastic increases in his net income, after he (He's Chinese-American from Hawaii) got married to his Taiwanese wife.
3) Kind of ties in with loneliness, but I need somebody else to do weekend hobbies or activities with. No, not sex. hahaha!
I am talking about road trips, eating out at the restaurant, going hiking on a mountain trail, going to a local state fair, going to the movie theater....etc. I don't know about you guys, but I hate going to a restaurant, eating there alone. You just get the stares from other people eating at the place, and in many of my situations, the service from the waitress tends to be shitty if you're eating alone. Speaking of state fairs, I know that certain rides are off-limits to single people, or people wanting to ride by himself. One of them is the Ferris wheel ride. You need at least two people to be seated in the Ferris wheel container. Sucks.
4) cooks well. While I was visiting her three weeks ago, I saw Grace prepare the meal for the entire family. I even helped her slaughter two chickens to make a chicken soup.
I am not trying to make Grace a slave by having her cook my meals. However, when I come from my a crazy night shift at the hospital, I want to come home, shower and have a nice breakfast. I dont' mind eating her food.
The only "objection" is my mom, who tends to hate Filipino food. She says Filipino food is very greasy, salty and looks weird. My mom is worried that Grace will be making "Kryptonite" Filipino food that worries her that my cholesterol level will sky-rocket and may result in a myocardial infarction.