Welcome to our new upgraded phpbb 3.2 forum! The upgrade is now complete. See announcement and new features here, or report any problems or issues here. Thanks for your patience.
Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Switch to Mobile
Ask questions and get advice. Disclaimer: Any advice you take here is at your own risk. We are not liable for any consequences you might incur from following advice here. Note: Before posting your question, do a search for it in the Google Search box at the top to see if it's been addressed.
5 posts • Page 1 of 1
After reading DiscoProJoe's story, I'm really happy that he has found a new home and I'm motivated to share the story of my search for a home which is still ongoing. I'm going to evaluate the places I lived in and maybe you guys can offer advice on my options.
I was born in China and moved to Canada when I was 10ish. Like most bananas (yellow on the outside and white on the inside), I felt out of place socially in Canada. I thought by getting a good education and a decent job, I'd be good enough for most women here. The seach for a suitable wife turned out to be difficult in Canada. In a country where most people have a decent education and a decent job, I was a small fish in a big pond. Luckily, I work in IT and my skills are transferrable so I was able to get a job in America. It didn't take me long to realize that in the US, I was a even smaller fish in a even bigger pond. I then took an IT job in Beijing. The pay was horrible compared to the pay in the western world, but I figure my social life would be better there. Within 2 months in Beijing, I had a steady girlfriend for the first time in my life. The quality of living isn't so good though. Despite what financial analysts say about China being a superpower and what not, it's still way behind the western world. The way companies treat employees is bad, the way people treat each other is bad and I didn't feel at home there either. If you're caucassian, I think you'll be treated better by companies and by the locals, but for a banana like me, it wasn't pleasant dealing with the locals. Remember that I moved out of China when I was young so my Mandarin isn't fluent. The locals would pick out my accent right away. They either think I'm Japanese or I'm retarded. The looks I got whenever I'm dealing people there, made me sick.
I'm now back in Canada working and living without much of a social life but I think it's the best country I've been to yet. America is going down the toilet. China offered me a better social life but the standard of living is just horrible in comparison to Canada/USA. I've been to the Phillippines for 21 days, but it's even less developed than China.
Singapore seems like a promising place. I'd probably fit in better socially, it's a 1st world nation and the professional opportunities are better than most Asian countries. I'll have to try getting a job there once the global economic situation gets better. By the time that happens, IT jobs may be out of favour. I'm thinking about getting an MBA and then a PhD in economics studying part time. I'd probably have a chance getting a teaching job in a univeristy which pays decently and is respectable in Singapore. It's a LONG shot I know, but I it's something I'm considering.
Welcome, man. You are one of those people that are caught in between cultures, and you are not alone. There are tens of millions of people like that now. They do not fit in in either place, and both places see them as coming from someplace else. Or as retards, at worst.
An example is Japanese Brazilians. In Brazil, they are Asiatics and Orientals and are treated as foreigners. When they go to Japan, they are Brazilians there, and are foreigners. Again. There are even signs- "No Brazilians allowed". Now Japan is paying them money to make them go back to Brazil.
Half-Asian/White kids in Thailand are the same. They are called White Trash in Thailand and are called Chinks when they go to England to live. The list goes on and on. Chinese in Indonesia and Malaysia are like that,too. They are treated like Chinese in those countries, but if they go 'back to their country', China, that is, they are not Chinese there. Russians, stuck in former Soviet republics are like that, too. They are told to go back to their country. When they do, and go back to Russia, they are AGAIN told, by the Russians now, to 'go back to their country'. WTF?!
At least in your case, you are not experiencing violent pogroms or are barred from entry into bars or denied jobs and/or are beaten on the street.
Do keep in mind that if you really wanted to get married and find a wife, you could always bring a Vietnamese one or a Chinese one from the ol' country. There are millions of women there who want to marry an overseas Chinese. For example, here is a site:
Some gorgeous girls there! And they would be virgins for the most part. Clean, decent, excellent mothers and wives.
They would much rather marry a Chinese guy than a white guy, too.
The thing is you know, maybe what has happened to you is for the better- the quality of women in N. America is low to begin with. So, frankly, you are not missing out on much. Most start screwing early on in life, they may even have ( had) diseases, some have had experienced anal sex, too. Is that really the kind of wife you want? The one who has been banged in the rectum by other guys before you? If they are pretty, they are also spoiled and may not make good mothers/wives. So, the whole thing may be a blessing in disguise or, at least, you can make it one.
The Anglo culture in the US/Canada is harsh against those who do not look but also who do not "act" Anglo or who do not think as one.DO not think that Europeans would fit in easily. Even if you are not a visible minority, once the people see you do not act like an All American boy an All Canadian boy, if you have a strange name or way of speaking, you will also be rejected socially.
In some countries even if you are the same color and culture but is from the countryside, you will be discriminated against by city folks. Anyway, it goes on and on.
Racism in N America is no longer violent; it basically takes form of tolerant indifference and people's lack of interest in you. People will not attack you or anything, they just won't hang out with you. That is how it is all across the Anglo world. Fortunately, there are other countries. You have only been to China US and Philippines and now you are thinking of Singapore? There are 200 countries out there. Check 'em out. There are great places out there waiting to be discovered.
Look at the girls Winston dated in Russia. And he is as Oriental-looking as they come.
The girls he had dated there look like Britney Spears and Brook Shield magnified. Not only a Chinese man would not be able to date a girl like that in N America, a white Anglo Saxon millionaire would have hard time dating one.
Just a simple change in location makes all the difference.
The good thing about being a Canadian national is that you do not need visas to go to most countries in the world. It is better than being a Japanese Brazilian who is a 3d world national and cannot travel as freely. So, the world is yours. And that is something to be appreciated.
There is a life philosophy called PT. I ordered my first PT book in 1992. The gust of the matter is that you need to live in several countries to have a complete life. You cannot have it all in one country.
Please read about it: And I would order the book just to read about the philosophy.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
Welcome to the site!
Like you, I'm 1.5 generation immigrant from Taiwan to USA. How do I deal with it? I maintain multiple groups of friends and travel often. Here in Los Angeles/Orange County area we have many Asian American professional associations, such as APEX, YGAP, Chinese Cultural Associations, etc. It's very easy to meet other 1.5 generation Asian Americans with similar backgrounds. You might want to look into similar organizations in Canada.
I used to travel to Singapore every few months for work, the 18+ hour flight was a killer but it's always a pleasure to visit Singapore. Plus you can go across the bridge to Malaysia for cheap seafood in JB. For your first visit, fly Singapore airlines and use their discount hotel and tour services (check their web site for info). If you have any questions feel free to ask!
Both of these guys are right but I do have experience with Beijing. I would say Beijing is good to visit like the Great Wall, Tiananmen square, etc. but it's not really good to live there. For one, if you can't speak Beijing dialect which is like Mandarin with tongue twisting, then for sure locals will not think you are part of them. They also are prim and proper and they think their dialect is the the most real and orginal Mandarin which they are partically right but I wish they are not so stuck up about it. I banged one Beijing girl as I met her on the plane from Fuzhou to Beijing and picked up another on a bus so I can't say from your experience as I was only a tourist and passerby to go to and from Canada from Beijing.
For me, Beijing is too cold weather wise and their people with sandstorms in the spring from the deserts of Xinjiang province so I wouldn't want to live in Beijing. I rather live any city south of Shanghai as I like subtropical warm to hot weather as I like driving motorcycles everywhere as I did in Taiwan.
By the way, you might want to try out finding a job in Taipei, Taiwan as the people are more open minded to Overseas Chinese as a large number of Taipei residents or their direct descendants are from China from the ROC retreat to Taiwan in 1948. And some jobs pay alright(at least better than China)like the IT industry as well as going anywhere by motorcycle or scooter as the majority of them use it as their main transportation to anywhere in the city.