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Need advice - about to get married

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Need advice - about to get married

Postby womanizer » November 19th, 2009, 8:52 am

I know asking this question is going to make me sound like a vaj, but whatever. I've been with a woman now for a while and we're actually making plans to get married sometime around next year. She's actually a foreign woman and she is very responsible, traditional, respectful, isn't a bitch, etc. Probably what most guys are looking for. Problem is, I've been fooling around on the side so long I can't really stop. I honestly can't stand the idea of giving up chasing p***y. I love meeting new, young women, plus I like no strings attached sex with prostitutes in the DR and Brazil. Yeah I'm not the most admirable guy in the world, but I love my freedom, and yet I care about this woman too. You know, there's a part of me that thinks me and her are going to be this happy couple, having a kid(s), and just having this traditional marriage that I think I secretly wish for. But I'm also realistic and realize that I'll probably stray not long after. I can't stand the thought of giving her up because I know she is deserving of a good man, but frankly I suck at being faithful. Anyway that's my story, thought I'd hear a suggestion or 2.
"We happily accept that we can love more than one child, parent, sibling, teacher, friend, or pet. When you think of it like that, isn't the total exclusiveness that we expect of spousal love positively weird?"

- Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion
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Postby Winston » November 19th, 2009, 1:21 pm

Sounds like an irreconcilable conflict of interest. Some things have no win-win situation. If you aren't sure, then don't get married. Better to err on the side of caution. Tell her you need more time or something, to get to know her. You shouldn't commit to something you can't keep. You wouldn't like someone making promises to you that they know they can't keep either right?
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Marriage

Postby Gene and Viol » February 23rd, 2010, 11:52 am

I would have to agree with the other poster. It would be wrong to marry anyone UNLESS or UNTIL you can be 100% faithful to the woman.
Children come along eventually. What does that kind of life teach them?
Also, you could bring home an STD to your wife. Thats a lousy way to show love to her.

Best advice I can give----STAY SINGLE...
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Postby Adama » February 23rd, 2010, 7:02 pm

I was thinking about telling my future wife that I have business in another city, then taking an international flight instead of a domestic one, getting a secret vonage account to fool her into thinking I'm in that US city when I'm really in Brazil. Just if she wants the direct line to the hotel, it would be a problem. Also picking me up at the airport would be a problem cause she'd know it was an international flight. Unless of course I take the connecting transfer flight somewhere.
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International Flight

Postby Gene and Viol » February 23rd, 2010, 8:56 pm

Hmmmm,

Sounds like more trouble than its worth.
Guess thats one reason I remain faithful in my marriage and like it that way...
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two can play at that game

Postby starkeep » February 23rd, 2010, 10:59 pm

8) As soon as she found out your unfaithfull it would probobly bring on a jealous rage and she could fool around from then on or even before that. Thats why my policy is be faithfull and married or single and not. As soon as i watch the crime channel there are more jeolus spouses in rage killing each other.
One of the few reasons other then divorce anyone would want to kill someone. God may forgive you but i doubt if your spouse will.
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Two Can Play That Game

Postby Gene and Viol » February 24th, 2010, 1:18 am

That is so true. Especially here in the Philippines. Cheating on ones wife or girlfriend goes beyond risky. Its down right dangerous. Given the fact that all most all Filipinos had a bad case of GET EVEN-ITUS.
A friend or family member of the girl will often times get even for the wrong that has been done.
They dont think of even care about what happens to them. Even if they die, their attidude is that its ok as long as they GET EVEN. Hope this guy has good life insurance that is paid and up to date...
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Re: Two Can Play That Game

Postby Adama » February 24th, 2010, 1:28 am

Gene and Viol wrote:That is so true. Especially here in the Philippines. Cheating on ones wife or girlfriend goes beyond risky. Its down right dangerous. Given the fact that all most all Filipinos had a bad case of GET EVEN-ITUS.
A friend or family member of the girl will often times get even for the wrong that has been done.
They dont think of even care about what happens to them. Even if they die, their attidude is that its ok as long as they GET EVEN. Hope this guy has good life insurance that is paid and up to date...


They can only kill him once. Look at Winston. Somehow he is still alive! :oops:

I heard in Thailand they chop off penises. Yikes.
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How old are you?

Postby pete98146 » February 24th, 2010, 2:21 am

Any chances of retiring down in Rio? I've met a bunch of the expats down there and they all have hot younger wives. Brazil offers some good advantages because you can pull nooners at Centarus or the other thermas (kinda like all the Brazilian business men do) and hopefully the wife never finds out.

Speaking trips abroad is much more difficult. Put the marriage on hold and wait to marry when you retire.
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Ouch!

Postby Gene and Viol » February 24th, 2010, 3:33 am

I think its beter to stay here in the Philippines and stay faithful to ones wife.
Although its a bad analogy, but when married--its foolish and a waste of time going to the store to get milk when you have a cow at home :roll: :lol:
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Re: Ouch!

Postby Winston » February 24th, 2010, 10:38 pm

Gene and Viol wrote:I think its beter to stay here in the Philippines and stay faithful to ones wife.
Although its a bad analogy, but when married--its foolish and a waste of time going to the store to get milk when you have a cow at home :roll: :lol:


Here is my counter analogy. Say you ate pepperoni pizza for a whole week. Wouldn't you be sick of it after a while, and want something else? Suddenly, a dish of chow mein seems more appetizing then ever.

I've written an article about this here:

http://www.happierabroad.com/Why_Men_Cheat.htm

Anyhow, even if you get away with cheating, she will still know it cause everyone has an intuitive sixth sense and can sense the energy of you cheating. I've seen it time and time again.

I have not experienced that Filipinas and their families get even though. Lots of guys here are unfaithful or have multiple partners. The girls simply get dramatic about it or pout for a few hours and then forget about it afterward. Filipinos do not usually harbor anger for very long.

Ladislav has had far more relationships here than I have, yet he's still fine.

Girls you cheat on usually get over it quickly.

But it's really impossible to keep it from them, cause they eventually sense it in your vibe. Even if you don't believe in the metaphysical, trust me on that one.
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Postby dano » February 24th, 2010, 11:21 pm

Sex with your wife can get really really boring after a few years, I was surprised by my own lack of interest. My wife would resort to begging me for sex quite often, once she even started crying because I didn`t want to tap her ass. I wasn`t cheating on her either. I just felt emotionaly distant from her because we used to argue everyday. Having sex with a woman that you can`t stand is not very enjoyable. After our divorce she called me to let me know she was still available, I wasn`t interested.

If your thinking about cheating on your girlfriend a lot your probably not ready marriage. I don`t blame guys that cheat on there wives, they just want to be happy. If banging 10 hookers everyday makes you happy, then how can anyone deny you of your happiness. I just don`t want you to go through divorce court one day and lose everything you own. Divorce is also very hard on children, who often blame themselves for there parents breakup.

If you want an exciting sex life don`t ever get married!
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Getting Even

Postby Gene and Viol » February 25th, 2010, 3:14 am

Hahaha food, yes I would need a change. And pizza for sure to end the heartburn! But not with my wife. Quite happy with what I have. If everyone could get as lucky as I did, divorce would be a thing or the past.
And in my case, I would feel too guilty and could not keep it a secret from her. And once trust in marriage is gone it would be extremely difficult or impossible to restore. So better I keep the "blinders" on my eyes I guess.

Maybe I just live on the wrong side of the tracks where we are. But seems like so many try to get even with others for any number of reasons. We put a few in jail here most every weekend and about 20% is usually people trying to get even for one reason or another.
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