globetrotter wrote:Nate wrote:ladislav wrote:Boyfriend as in... what? He was banging her? No way in a million years! Shudder! But if she just went out to dinner and held hands, well, yeah, no problem.
But if I were living in the US, well, I may go with the first choice. But I am not living there. I have too many cute virgins banging on my doors here.
Ladislav-
Men that don't live in the Philippines or at least spend a lot of time there, really cannot comprehend what you
are saying. They have been so conditioned in the USA to be obsequious panty sniffers that they simply cannot
grasp how it could be somewhere else. You are dead on. I am 54, and yes, I am in pretty good shape, but I get
just about daily expressions of interest from girls 18-30, most of them virgins, especially those under 26 or so.
And mind you, I travel in pretty straight circles relatively, and have so many girls interested I cannot count.
I have trained my GF to ignore it, though I suspect that background may motivate her and girls in her situation
to keep their man very satisfied on a daily basis. After all, there are a thousand options knocking on the gates!
That said, there is no need for me to stray- My GF treats me great, is very affectionate towards me and is
pretty much enough of a totally hot chick to keep me well behaved. I don't cheat on her. She is a good hearted
girl and I know she genuinely cares for me a lot...
Nate,
What's the financial situation with the GF? Are you buying the folks a house, paying for her University education, giving money to the relatives every weekend? Or are you just doing normal things with her?
How much are you spending per month?
No problem, I guess I am not shy in this case about telling exactly what I am doing. Jie lives with me, so what she gets exactly is hard to
say. I did pay for the last 9 months of her college, she just graduated this year. She was supporting herself working at a bookstore in General Santos where I met her. I told her she could quite her job and concentrate on school and on us. Her parents are farmers in a very bandit infested area of Sulu, so I am careful about how I take trips there. Jie Probably spends P10,000 - P15,000 per month on various things, clothing and misc., as well as pocket money, taking a friend to lunch, buying this or that. I am not trying to keep her poor or anything, though she is not very money motivated and I am often the one that suggests she spend on something and she is hesitant to spend. You have seen what she looks like, so I can tell you that despite being such a beautiful girl, she is not vain. She would rather put on shorts and a t-shirt and work in the garden than go shopping most of the time.
Now about money and her family. Yes I have helped out her family financially. They have never asked me for any money or anything.
They are not desperately poor, but I know some extra cash would help them, so Jie sends her mom about P5000 every month(beyond the money for herself). Jie is the youngest child at 24, so it is not like she has a lot of siblings to worry about. Three of four times this year I will do specific things for her parents, such as an irrigation pump I will buy to insure water in times of drought like this year has had.
I have no mercy on deadbeats and lazy-asses. My Filipina Ex had some relatives who thought I would gift them cash to sit on their ass..WRONG! They found out I would not. In his late 50's, Jie's father is anything but lazy. Few men on this forum could keep up with him.
I think men should choose the right thing. Why is it that men who have been hosed by American women all the time for sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars (plus the kids) get their panties in a knot over their Filipina giving mom a couple of hundred bucks?
I have had men who have had a girl living with them for months ask me if their GF was hosing them when she asked him to donate a hundred bucks to something like a family reunion. Huh? I think, "Dude, something is wrong with your brain and with you heart."
That all said, set limits and stick to them. Don't reward deadbeats, but encourage hard work and enterprise when you can.
Of course, men have their own budgets to work with, so one has to work within those constraints. One is not a sucker just because they
choose to do things for the GF's family, but the operative word here is "choice".
Getting hosed by some easy-ass trollop's deadbeat relatives is one thing. If you find a really good GF and choose to help out her
parents, that is quite another matter.
And Winston, you are quite correct, most men do not want to say what they are doing for the GF's family, but in reality it is part of the culture. You just have to manage expectations and try not to reward deadbeats, and live within your means.