Getting accused of being a pedophile

[raindreamer333]

You guys are completely wrong. Every man was mean to be with just one woman, and every woman was meant to be with just one man.

IF it was normal for men to serially date young women all his life, then nature should be producing more women than men. Otherwise, some men miss out, and they become violent. It is a known fact that men are who are denied access to a wife end up with a strong tendency to be come violent. That is why government officials in China are terrified of the shortage of females because female fetuses were all aborted. With too many men, many miss out, and this creates social tension.

Each of us were only meant to have one love and one sex partner in life. Love is all that matters. Age and money don't.

Also, age and beauty are not really corelated. Some women are beautiful for life, and some are not. My fiance is 4 years old than me (she is 31) but she is way more beautiful than most women in their twenties.

[globetrotter]

"You guys are completely wrong. Every man was mean to be with just one woman, and every woman was meant to be with just one man. "

This has nothing to do with this thread. We are discussing being accused of being a pedophile if we are seen with children.

[Rock]

Western women hurl the "p" word around to stigmatize the biggest threat to their relevance, younger women. If older women allow men to consort with young women they stand to lose their husbands and their re-marriage prospects forever.

As mentioned before, envious men do the same by ensuring they are not outdone in the mating game by keeping their peers away from younger women.

The best thing to do is leave the Western countries and resettle in the developing world where the "P" word is not a social weapon.

In SE Asia, a mature man with a younger woman is completely normal because (scary enough) it may be the way nature intended it. A stable 'rich' guy with experience taking care of younger, prettier women and guiding them is the way it is meant to be.

I was recently in Mindanao where I am dating one 20 year old tribal girl. You can see the tribe here:

http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&expI ... 66&bih=587

One of the tribal heads just told me- bring more white guys for the T'boli girls. He did not specify the age of the guys. As long as they are white. When I asked the T'boli girl about the age difference she was nonplussed- why is that going to be a problem? It did not even enter her mind that it would be an issue.

Men do not have the menopause and can make kids until the day they die- especially now with Viagra, so, it may be that nature intended men to impregnate women, make them kids, and go on and breed with yet younger women. Especially as one gets older and wealthier, he becomes more of a protective husbandly figure that women want to be protected by.

It is also a practice in traditional Africa for wealthy older guys to take in fresh young wives, and since we came from Africa we may have inherited it.
What our million year old genetic programming impels us to do and what the fairly recent societal norms prescribe that we do may very well be two different things.

But if you are a poor old man, well, then it is an issue.

You say that mature men pairing with younger women is completely normal in SE Asia. If you mean an extreme age gap (20-25 year or more), I think its pretty uncommon in the mainstream of these societies. Which SE country(ries) do you often see such age mismatched couples walking around (not including foreigners and their rent-a-dates)? Now in micro societies on the fringes (minority tribes etc.) perhaps extreme age differences are more acceptable?

You also mentioned Africa. In the countries there I've visited, I also did not notice a lot of big age gaps in couples around in the cities. Now in the some of the more primitive tribes, it might still be more common. For example, in Kenya, I didn't see a lot of age gaps with the majority tribes who comprise the bulk of the population. But in semi-nomadic and patriarchal Masai society (less than 1% of population), I think it is still normal practice for certain high status males of a 'mature' age to be paired with young girls/women. However, even there, many of the young wives are not happy about such arrangements, and even cringe at the idea before their time comes. This situation was described by the western author of "White Masai" who married into and lived with a Masai group in Kenya for several years. Such reactions by the girls may suggest that such pairings are not as natural as you think.

Generally, I believe wherever you have some modern style industrialization, contemporary western thinking and values begin to emerge. This has happened in much of SE Asia. And its hard to escape the Internet these days. Young women are generally not into old, unattractive, and out of shape men. If they pair with such males, I believe they likely do so out of necessity.

I'm not saying its impossible for the old bull in SE Asia to find some nice fresh grass to chew on. But it probably will be a hell of a challenge for him to generate genuine affection from any of its most attractive young females. It behooves the old guy on the hunt to keep himself as youthful, attractive, and energetic as possible. And bottom line, he better not be poor.

[The_Adventurer]

I agree with Rock to point, but I certainly saw many such pairings in the Philippines. And I am talking about locals. The owner of the house me and my friend rented was well into his forties. His wife was around 21 and very beautiful. He also had a couple of the next door neighbor's daughters into him. I believe his wife really loved him and was quite happy. He was by no means ugly though, by local standards, nor out of shape. Very light skin and Chinese type features.

I would see such pairings in the mall all the time. Older filipino guy and much younger bride.

As for financial, I am not going to act like it doesn't matter, but there was one guy who lived in a shack outside our subdivision. He was nearly 70. He had neither electricity nor running water. He had kids of all ages. His latest wife was in her twenties. She had two kids and always seemed quite happy. I can't imagine what financial gain she got from that relationship. The guy was not necessarily unattractive, though he had very dark skin(supposedly not highly valued in the Philippines). He had a rugged Clint Eastwood type look.

If he wasn't so strict, I probably would have married one of his daughters. She was 18, almost as black as I am, with totally Asian facial features and long eyes, and she drew anime, and was very good at it. Our age difference would have been about 20 years, but I have no doubt she was totally into me. We would talk about art and stuff all night.

Don't get me wrong, though, I have seen foreigner and filipina couples that are much much worse. I was walking in the Alabang mall once and saw an old, fat, balding guy who had to be pushing 70, with a girl who looked about 16.

[ladislav]

The morality and "naturality" of older man/younger woman is open to disputes and is not an easy issue. I am 50 and I do not feel attracted to women over 25. Can't help it. So, I try and look young and have money so that I could keep up with them. As long as I am not breaking any laws, and not hurting people, I guess I am OK as all the other guys.
I've been to Kenya, too and talked to Kenyans precisely about that. They said the age of the man does not matter. Same in the Philippines. Saw several guys in their 60ies with 19 year old's. Then one guy was 78 with a 28 year old wife.
I guess we all have different experiences in life.
Anyway, as far as being accused because one is around kids, when I was in Ukraine, one girl told me a story about a Ukrainian guy who went to the US and as he would do in his home country, he met some kids and started taking pictures with them. I guess he patted one kid on the head or seated someone on his knee (in Ukraine it is normal to make friends with kids, and paedos are virtually unknown as there are also virtually no gays/lesbians) and someone reported him. He was arrested and put in prison for 6 months, then he was deported from the US and banned from Schengen countries as well- for life!
I am sure that his explanations of how it is in Ukraine did not convince the judge.

[Rock]

The morality and "naturality" of older man/younger woman is open to disputes and is not an easy issue. I am 50 and I do not feel attracted to women over 25. Can't help it. So, I try and look young and have money so that I could keep up with them. As long as I am not breaking any laws, and not hurting people, I guess I am OK as all the other guys.
I've been to Kenya, too and talked to Kenyans precisely about that. They said the age of the man does not matter. Same in the Philippines. Saw several guys in their 60ies with 19 year old's. Then one guy was 78 with a 28 year old wife.
I guess we all have different experiences in life.
Anyway, as far as being accused because one is around kids, when I was in Ukraine, one girl told me a story about a Ukrainian guy who went to the US and as he would do in his home country, he met some kids and started taking pictures with them. I guess he patted one kid on the head or seated someone on his knee (in Ukraine it is normal to make friends with kids, and paedos are virtually unknown as there are also virtually no gays/lesbians) and someone reported him. He was arrested and put in prison for 6 months, then he was deported from the US and banned from Schengen countries as well- for life!
I am sure that his explanations of how it is in Ukraine did not convince the judge.

You say you daw several guys in their 60ies with 19 year old's, then one guy was 78 with a 28 year old wife. Was that in Kenya or Phils?

In my book, age gaps are not a moral issue at all provided they happen between consenting adults. If a sexy and emotionally mature 18 year-old girl is attracted to someone's great grandfather and wants to get physical with him, bless her heart and kudos to the old man. Likewise, for young studs who enjoy pleasuring grandmas.

Perhaps much of the Philippines is a very special case, an exception to what I said in my last post. You and Terrance sure make it sound that way. But, I didn't see age mismatched couples during my brief stays in Makati and I doubt it is common when both parties are middle class and above. That begs the question, what is the girls true underlying motivation for submitting themselves to old men.

As for Kenya, you must know, you are very much an outsider. You don't fully begin to realize what's going on until you become fluent in Swahili, similar to what you said about Thailand. Generally, the Kenyans you as a visitor are likely to encounter in places like Nairobi, the Mombasa area, or the safari circuit love to blow smoke up the muzunga's ass. It is not uncommon for certain Kenyan girls to pair-up or even marry older white Germans and other Europeans. But they do so for monetary or visa reasons and the relationships normally run their course within a few months to a couple years. And in the meantime, when the girl craves genuine sex (which is probably often) she finds an attractive black man (probably from her own tribe) and treats him well with her European's money. And when you looked around you in the towns and cities there, did you really see many old men hand-in-hand with young girls who weren't their daughters? Its not what they say, its what they do that counts.

Regarding the pedophile issue, it seems a few bad apples have ruined it for all of us. The wisest thing to do in the West is just stay away from kids who are not your own. And be especially careful if you are an 18 or 19 year old male. Cus you can get into a lot of trouble dating younger teenage girls who are in your own age group. I remember a couple cases on "Dateline: To Catch a Predator" where the perp was just 19 or 20. Yet, his life was still ruined for visiting a teenager just a few years younger than himself who he had been exchanging explicit emails with. As far as I can tell, the decoys from "Perverted Justice" worked very hard to tempt and seduce their targets. A man in that age group has the least amount of life experience, often very naive, and has huge amounts of testosterone pumping through his system. How do you expect him to react when a sexy mature looking girl who happens to be 14 or 15 actively pursues him online?

Now in cases I've read about involving sexy young adult school teachers hooking-up with male students, the punishments have been more a lot more modest. Not surprising at all. The west is a double standard society through and through. Somehow, in the past few decades, men dropped the ball and lost most of their power.

[Repatriate]

Regarding the pedophile issue, it seems a few bad apples have ruined it for all of us. The wisest thing to do in the West is just stay away from kids who are not your own. And be especially careful if you are an 18 or 19 year old male. Cus you can get into a lot of trouble dating younger teenage girls who are in your own age group. I remember a couple cases on "Dateline: To Catch a Predator" where the perp was just 19 or 20. Yet, his life was still ruined for visiting a teenager just a few years younger than himself who he had been exchanging explicit emails with.

Times have really changed for the worse in the last 10 years. I was dating a 16 year old back when I was 19 and these days I might have been thrown into jail and been labeled a sex offender even though there was only a 3 year difference and we were both teenagers. This is ridiculous overzealous bullshit. I can see there being real issues there if the girl/boy is literally prepubescent but teenagers hooking up with other teenagers or young adults is perfectly normal.

I remember at least a third of the girls in my high school were dating early 20 something college guys too and this was only back in the mid 90's.

[MrPeabody]

There have always been statutory rape laws, so, for example, in a state where the statutory age is 18, if a 19 year old man has sex with his 17 year old girlfriend, he can go to jail. But, the situation has become much worse, because viscous feminists are promoting the ideology that all straight men are sexual predators. In the meantime, the very same people promote gay rights, where the real pedophile problem lies. When I was growing up, men were considered the protectors and authorities over children, and men could freely interact with children, and their intentions would never be questioned. I suggest you find an episode of “Father Knows Best� to get a sense of how men were viewed. Today, there is an ideological war against men in America. The feminists are a hate group whose motive is to slander the reputation of straight men, setting them up for the persecution to come.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

This is in no way to justify pedophilia, but I wonder if the age difference stigma in the US contributes to wayward men seeking out vulnerable children who are easier to manipulate and exploit.

Pedophilia is only an epidemic in the US and other countries where anything more than 2 to 3 years age difference is a scandal. Again, this is just a theory as to its potential cause, not a justification.

If these men could interact with young twenty-somethings, maybe they would less inclined to resort to children. Thoughts?

[Repatriate]

If these men could interact with young twenty-somethings, maybe they would less inclined to resort to children. Thoughts?

I'd say there's no connection at all.

Men who are attracted to teenage pubescent women (ephebophilia) is widespread and is more or less considered natural in the rest of the world.

Pedophilia which is attraction to predominately prepubescent girls and not women is actual sexual dysfunction and pretty unnatural.

I think statistically they've done studies where actual pedos who are attracted to young children are actually in the vast minority of those convicted of these sorts of sex crimes. Most people get arrested (in the U.S.) for sexual relations with pubescent but young teenage girls.

[BellaRuth]

Maybe this is somewhere I could come in useful as a 24 year old girl (re: the earlier conversations about older men and younger girls).

I wouldn't mind having an older partner. My current boyfriend is 8 years older than me and neither of us notice unless we are talking about our childhood (and as he's from South America that's pretty different anyway). For me the overall package is more important. No one wants to go out with a doddery old fool, but if you look good, are interesting and keep yourself fit, you should be able to attract someone a lot younger.

[momopi]

This is in no way to justify pedophilia, but I wonder if the age difference stigma in the US contributes to wayward men seeking out vulnerable children who are easier to manipulate and exploit.
Pedophilia is only an epidemic in the US and other countries where anything more than 2 to 3 years age difference is a scandal. Again, this is just a theory as to its potential cause, not a justification.
If these men could interact with young twenty-somethings, maybe they would less inclined to resort to children. Thoughts?

The Japanese anime hobbie attracts some pedos, and I personally knew a few who went overseas to teach English. To be blunt, they're attracted to little girl panty shots and girls in day care centers or low elementary grades levels. One guy went to teach Jr. High school girls in Japan and commented that the girls were "too old" for him. Fortunately, he kept his mongering to 2-D characters on the computer screen, instead of little girls in RL.

Another guy I knew was a friend of a friend, he went to teach English in Taiwan. He was formally arrested for exposing himself to little girls at local schools, arrested, and spent several months in jail. Somehow, he was able to go overseas and get a job teaching English to school kids. X_X;; Guess the cram school didn't do background checks or something.

...and there's this other Canadian guy, ex-English teacher to Japan, who was into collecting Japanese videos of little girls wearing tights doing gym exercises and hopping around. But I think I'll stop here. ;p

[MrPeabody]

I found an interesting site trying to reform sex offender laws in the US. The laws have gotten way out of hand.

Here is a webpage where they document children being arrested and put on sex offender lists for participating in innocent child's play.

http://www.solresearch.org/~SOLR/rprt/JSOs.htm

Here is a Q&A about Sex offender laws

http://www.solresearch.org/~SOLR/QnA.asp

Here are some examples of innocent behavior being criminalized in America.

http://www.solresearch.org/~SOLR/rprt/LookNow.asp

"There's no way to rule innocent men. The only power
any government has is the power to crack down on
criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals,
one makes them. One declares so many things to be
a crime that it becomes impossible to live without
breaking laws." ~Ayn Rand

[pete98146]

I'm now 48 years old and my wife is 29 years old. I've been married to my wife for over 4 years now and I've never heard anybody call me a pedophile. Sure they may be thinking this but atleast nobody has verbalized it yet.

With the advent of the modern day Cougar, women are now seeking younger men so EVERYBODY is out to find a younger mate. So calling me a pedophile is like the kettle calling the teapot black.

[Rock]

Maybe this is somewhere I could come in useful as a 24 year old girl (re: the earlier conversations about older men and younger girls).

I wouldn't mind having an older partner. My current boyfriend is 8 years older than me and neither of us notice unless we are talking about our childhood (and as he's from South America that's pretty different anyway). For me the overall package is more important. No one wants to go out with a doddery old fool, but if you look good, are interesting and keep yourself fit, you should be able to attract someone a lot younger.

OK, but I was talking about wide age gaps. 8 years pretty minor for a 20 something girl, especially if the man looks young and/or good for his age.

So let me ask you this. Imagine a 44 to 49 year old version of your current boyfriend. If you had gotten to know that man instead of the young version under the exact same circumstances, do you think you still would have opened yourself to him in the same way and ended up together with him? Be honest, lol. Very curious about your response to this.