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Getting accused of being a pedophile

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Postby ladislav » Wed Oct 06, 2010 5:35 pm

You say you saw several guys in their 60ies with 19 year old's, then one guy was 78 with a 28 year old wife. Was that in Kenya or Phils?

Philippines. One guy was 74 and was with a 19 year old.

Perhaps much of the Philippines is a very special case, an exception to what I said in my last post. You and Terrance sure make it sound that way. But, I didn't see age mismatched couples during my brief stays in Makati and I doubt it is common when both parties are middle class and above. That begs the question, what is the girls true underlying motivation for submitting themselves to old men.

Money, security and maturity. They want to be wives of stable and responsible guys with money. Not having seen them is like saying " I've been to Saudi Arabia and have not seen a single terrorist". Or "I have been to Australia and not seen one single kangaroo". The RP has 94 million people and expats get lost in the mass. They are not even half a million. Less than one percent and most like to live in the provinces, not in Manila.

As for Kenya, you must know, you are very much an outsider. You don't fully begin to realize what's going on until you become fluent in Swahili, similar to what you said about Thailand. Generally, the Kenyans you as a visitor are likely to encounter in places like Nairobi, the Mombasa area, or the safari circuit love to blow smoke up the muzunga's ass. It is not uncommon for certain Kenyan girls to pair-up or even marry older white Germans and other Europeans. But they do so for monetary or visa reasons and the relationships normally run their course within a few months to a couple years. And in the meantime, when the girl craves genuine sex (which is probably often) she finds an attractive black man (probably from her own tribe) and treats him well with her European's money. And when you looked around you in the towns and cities there, did you really see many old men hand-in-hand with young girls who weren't their daughters? Its not what they say, its what they do that counts.


Thank you for the warning. I guess these scams follow a predictable pattern all across the poorer countries. A Tagalog proverb states: " Where there's sugar, there are flies."
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Postby BellaRuth » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:33 pm

Rock wrote:So let me ask you this. Imagine a 44 to 49 year old version of your current boyfriend. If you had gotten to know that man instead of the young version under the exact same circumstances, do you think you still would have opened yourself to him in the same way and ended up together with him? Be honest, lol. Very curious about your response to this.


I would have felt less inclined to make a move at first, less sure if he was interested in a silly young thing like myself, but given time and getting to know him and ensuring he was interested, I don't see an issue personally. I don't see the 40s as 'old', but I have trouble believing a man at that age would like an inexperienced, naive girl who still gets teenage breakouts and can hardly remember the 80s :) If he was fine with it, I'd be fine with it.

As an aside, my boyfriend's sister came over to the UK to marry a man older than her father (I'll do the maths... her husband is.. hmmm... about 30 years older than her). Although everyone who sees them think she is a mail-order bride they are very much in love- always were, genuinely, in love, and still are now he is in his sixties and she is a very pretty early-thirties. They've been married for over ten years and he has a new family with her. It's certainly possible.

It is sad, though, when he talks about the fact he might not be around for his daughter's wedding, or to see his grandchildren. And that they may have to look after him before long instead of enjoying having a dad around for years.
Last edited by BellaRuth on Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Repatriate » Wed Oct 06, 2010 6:53 pm

BellaRuth wrote:I don't see the 40s as 'old', but I have trouble believing a man at that age would like an inexperienced, naive girl who still gets teenage breakouts and can hardly remember the 80s :) If he was fine with it, I'd be fine with it.

The vast majority of men will go for the younger option given all the other attributes are equal in the choices available. It's just a natural attraction and pretty much supported by studies done on sexual preferences.
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Postby Rock » Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:11 am

Repatriate wrote:
BellaRuth wrote:I don't see the 40s as 'old', but I have trouble believing a man at that age would like an inexperienced, naive girl who still gets teenage breakouts and can hardly remember the 80s :) If he was fine with it, I'd be fine with it.

The vast majority of men will go for the younger option given all the other attributes are equal in the choices available. It's just a natural attraction and pretty much supported by studies done on sexual preferences.


Yes BellaRuth. Your youth and looks are a very powerful asset. Use them wisely. Seems like you are doing just that with your current bf who sounds sincere. On my visits to Colombia, I found many of the guys to be super protective about their serious girlfriends/wives and from what I was told, they can easily get jealous. That's not necessarily a bad thing as it shows they care a lot about their girls.

Sure, many guys probably don't want to settle down with an immature airhead. But as long a young woman shows some maturity and depth, she's generally going to be much more attractive than her older peers of an equal starting point. Many older guys will generally not pursue younger girls because they lack the confidence and/or they feel its not fair to the girl.
Last edited by Rock on Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Rock » Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:18 am

BellaRuth wrote:
Rock wrote:So let me ask you this. Imagine a 44 to 49 year old version of your current boyfriend. If you had gotten to know that man instead of the young version under the exact same circumstances, do you think you still would have opened yourself to him in the same way and ended up together with him? Be honest, lol. Very curious about your response to this.


I would have felt less inclined to make a move at first, less sure if he was interested in a silly young thing like myself, but given time and getting to know him and ensuring he was interested, I don't see an issue personally. I don't see the 40s as 'old', but I have trouble believing a man at that age would like an inexperienced, naive girl who still gets teenage breakouts and can hardly remember the 80s :) If he was fine with it, I'd be fine with it.

As an aside, my boyfriend's sister came over to the UK to marry a man older than her father (I'll do the maths... her husband is.. hmmm... about 30 years older than her). Although everyone who sees them think she is a mail-order bride they are very much in love- always were, genuinely, in love, and still are now he is in his sixties and she is a very pretty early-thirties. They've been married for over ten years and he has a new family with her. It's certainly possible.

It is sad, though, when he talks about the fact he might not be around for his daughter's wedding, or to see his grandchildren. And that they may have to look after him before long instead of enjoying having a dad around for years.


Well, your response is somewhat surprising. But its refreshing too. I think women and men who can accept a much older partner demonstrate depth, maturity, and free thinking. They are able to look beyond superficial aspects and not be confined by the values and judgments of modern western society.
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Postby Rock » Thu Oct 07, 2010 7:53 am

ladislav wrote:
Perhaps much of the Philippines is a very special case, an exception to what I said in my last post. You and Terrance sure make it sound that way. But, I didn't see age mismatched couples during my brief stays in Makati and I doubt it is common when both parties are middle class and above. That begs the question, what is the girls true underlying motivation for submitting themselves to old men.

Money, security and maturity. They want to be wives of stable and responsible guys with money. Not having seen them is like saying " I've been to Saudi Arabia and have not seen a single terrorist". Or "I have been to Australia and not seen one single kangaroo". The RP has 94 million people and expats get lost in the mass. They are not even half a million. Less than one percent and most like to live in the provinces, not in Manila.



My point was, obvious age gaps don't seem to be common with couples in the general population, at least from what I saw in Makati. I was not limiting my analysis to expats. If age gaps were even somewhat normal (say 5% of the population), you would expect to see see them frequently when out in public. I mean, suppose 5% of the population was super tall (7") or green colored and dispersed evenly across the population. You would definitely see a lot of them whenever you went out to a fairly crowded area. Extreme age gaps are just about as obvious and apparent. The 5% figure implies that 1 out of 20 couples would have wide age gaps. When I went out to busy areas, I saw dozens of couples. But big age gaps appeared to be rare.

If the tendency only applies to expats, I guess it all boils down to money. Not so sure that Phils expats are on average more mature or secure than local men but perhaps that's the perception there?

Larry claims that poorer girls there are initially attracted to older foreigners for material reasons but over time, may grow to genuinely love them. If that's true, I think you will agree that these relationships are quite different from prototypical Farang-Thai relationships.
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Postby ladislav » Thu Oct 07, 2010 3:53 pm

Filipinos have different marriage/love dynamics from foreigners who go and live there. Love is in abundance on the islands. So, if they are poor/average economically speaking, they meet and marry young and then stay together and have kids. There is no such thing as a lonely 50 year old Filipino man without a wife. None. If they have no extra money, they stay with thier wives and kids and just live their lives raising their families. So you saw people who were naturally following the calls of nature which is meet in highschool/college/ work and have kids. End of the story.
If they are rich, they keep their 50 year old wife and family and get a mistress or several on the side but they do not parade with them down Makati Avenue. These are kept out of public eye and are generally had in short time hotels.
These are the dynamics of that society.
Foreigners by and large do not fall into this category. There are very few younger white guys in the RP because they have no money to go there. If they were able to make a living in the Philippines at age 18, then they would fall in with the mainstream and do what the locals do.
Most foreigners of any color are older because that is the age that they have the money to go and live there. And you can bet your life that a normal 50 year old guy does not want a 50 year old Filipina. Some do, most don't. They worked hard to make the money to be there and they want fresh young ladies. And there are many applicants for the position. Younger ladies are vulnerable, they can be picked up by pimps, can be exploited in many other ways, cheated, deceived, etc. So, they look for older expats to protect them and take care of them, send them to school, pay for their expenses and act the way a man should- a responsible protector.
I have read somewhere that because of the severe lack of men and other factors, 50% of women in the Philippines do not have a man. Do not know how true that is.
But many do not. Also, younger guys are saddled with huge family responsibilities- helping brothers/sisters/mothers and have no disposable income to send a girlfriend to school. Enter a 50 year old expat to fill the gap. Nature abhors vacuum.

If facing the choice of becoming a 3d mistress of a rich married Filipino vs. a girfriend of a kind and friendly unmarried 50 year old expat, many will opt for the latter.

Filipinas are Christians/Catholics and Muslim. That means they are trained to be wives/gf's and stick with their men. Be faithful to them. So for your protection you get genuine love. In the traditional 19the century sense.
Thais follow Theravada Buddhism which preaches non attachment and general suppression of desires. Plus they had never been colonized and feel uncomfortable around other races/cultures. Orientals are accepted, non Orientals usually are not and only for money. Some Thais who have an American/farang fetish may like you, most do not feel happy around you. Exceptions are ethnic Laos/Khmers from Issan, these are less nationalistic, but still cannot beat Filipinas.
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Postby The_Adventurer » Fri Oct 08, 2010 5:37 am

Repatriate wrote:Times have really changed for the worse in the last 10 years. I was dating a 16 year old back when I was 19 and these days I might have been thrown into jail and been labeled a sex offender even though there was only a 3 year difference and we were both teenagers. This is ridiculous overzealous bullshit. I can see there being real issues there if the girl/boy is literally prepubescent but teenagers hooking up with other teenagers or young adults is perfectly normal.


You think that's bad. I remember a couple where there was only ONE year difference. They had been together for two years already. The boy turned 18 first and as soon as he did, the parents called the cops on him and he was finished. Didn't matter that the couple had been sexually active for nearly two years before that.
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Postby globetrotter » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:28 am

Yep. Our high school dating careers would now make us criminals, paedophiles and sex offenders, on a registry for life, forbidden to work with children ever, prohibited from living near a school, on and on and on. You would be on the worst, of the worst possible lists.

All because in 1978 I had a 15 year old gf when I was 17, or in 1980 when I had a 17 yo gf when I was 20.

It is complete and total insanity.
If any man knew about this before he wanted to emigrate to the USA, no man would ever set foot in the country ever again.

Ladislav's story about the Ukrainian guy who took pictures of kids, sat them on his lap, and had his freedom of movement eliminated forever to the USA and Europe, is a case in point. Fortunately he can move to Asia, Mexico or South America.

It's just a sign of a very very sick society, which would not matter except that they have 6,000 nuclear weapons, 13 carrier battle groups, a $1,000B USD annual defence budget, a chip on their shoulder and a sick desire to push their laws, attitudes and ideologies on to everyone else on this planet.

I can easily see it being the case where Feminists and the USA.Gov insist that any man who is convicted of an offence like the Ukrainian man above, is restricted to only his own country, forever. I can easily see the USA forcing the rest of the planet to adopt their laws and persecute that man just as if he did the crime in their nation.

IOW, that guy has his passport pulled no matter where he is from, he cannot work with children anywhere ON THE PLANET ever again, and the same restrictions the USA would impose on its own citizens.

It's the trait of an empire in collapse, and it is totally predictable.

Once again, it is total insanity.
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Postby Rock » Fri Oct 08, 2010 9:46 am

ladislav wrote:.

Filipinas are Christians/Catholics and Muslim. That means they are trained to be wives/gf's and stick with their men. Be faithful to them. So for your protection you get genuine love. In the traditional 19the century sense.
Thais follow Theravada Buddhism which preaches non attachment and general suppression of desires. Plus they had never been colonized and feel uncomfortable around other races/cultures. Orientals are accepted, non Orientals usually are not and only for money. Some Thais who have an American/farang fetish may like you, most do not feel happy around you. Exceptions are ethnic Laos/Khmers from Issan, these are less nationalistic, but still cannot beat Filipinas.


Very relevant reminder about the Thais and the religious/philosophical backdrop to their behavior and thinking.

Keep in mind that Laos/Khmers from Issan make up nearly a third of Thailand's population so they are not just some fringe minority in terms of numbers.

Also, what you said about the faith of Filipinas applies equally to a large part of the African continent including Kenya. That doesn't necessarily make them faithful partners to foreigners through. There must be more to it than religion. For example, would you trust an American girl to be faithful to you long term if she happened to have been raised in a strict Christian family living in the Bible belt of Virginia?
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Postby jamesbond » Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:54 pm

Benj wrote:I was participating in a study at a college I attended to find out if older men should be with younger women. After contacting a lot of psychologists and marriage counselors, among many other types of people, we found out it is indeed what nature intended! A lot of people in our society won't believe this, but the best relationships do have at least a 15 year age difference.

I read an article a few years ago where a dating expert said the best marriages have at least a 15 year age difference (the man being at least 15 yrs. older than the woman). Those marriages were more likely to succeed studies have shown.

It's funny, in America nobody questions celebrity men who have married women quite a bit younger than themselves. For example Michael Douglas is 25 yrs. older than his wife. Clint Eastwood is 35 yrs. older than his wife and Hugh Hefner is engaged to a woman 60 yrs. younger than himself.
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Postby Rock » Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:22 am

jamesbond wrote:
Benj wrote:I was participating in a study at a college I attended to find out if older men should be with younger women. After contacting a lot of psychologists and marriage counselors, among many other types of people, we found out it is indeed what nature intended! A lot of people in our society won't believe this, but the best relationships do have at least a 15 year age difference.

I read an article a few years ago where a dating expert said the best marriages have at least a 15 year age difference (the man being at least 15 yrs. older than the woman). Those marriages were more likely to succeed studies have shown.

It's funny, in America nobody questions celebrity men who have married women quite a bit younger than themselves. For example Michael Douglas is 25 yrs. older than his wife. Clint Eastwood is 35 yrs. older than his wife and Hugh Hefner is engaged to a woman 60 yrs. younger than himself.


I would love to see those stats cus I always read that age gaps on average decreased the chances of success. However, marrying a bit older (both parties) seems to increase it a lot.

Think about this scenario. An older man marries an 18-21 yr. old. Girls that age are often half child, half adult. She has no idea what she is doing still living in some romantic dream world. She may have some sort of daddy complex. But in a few years, she will likely mature emotionally changing a great deal in the process, and figure out what she wants in life which is probably not being stuck to some much older mate for life. Again, if the girl is already mid 20s or even better late 20s and beyond when she starts dating the much older man, I think the chances for long term survival of the relationship are much better. But anyway, I would love to see some objective stats on this if they exist anywhere.

As for celeb men, they are in a league of their own money and fame wise. And anyway, the overwhelming majority of them (over 80% I believe) bond with partners within 10 years of their own age in spite of their enormous edge in attracting women.
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Postby Repatriate » Fri Mar 18, 2011 5:44 am

Rock wrote:
As for celeb men, they are in a league of their own money and fame wise. And anyway, the overwhelming majority of them (over 80% I believe) bond with partners within 10 years of their own age in spite of their enormous edge in attracting women.

I have noticed most celebrities marry within their attractiveness scale too. I rarely see a totally ugly celeb married to a super hot celeb for long. It's usually a pretty even match of handsome/beautiful or average/average. I'm sure celebs can probably sleep with anyone they want but it's interesting to see that who they choose as a partner is usually consistent.
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Postby toysarefun » Mon Apr 18, 2011 1:09 pm

It's true, my Grandpa, who is about 80, and married, had kids of his own and raised them, can't even go to the park, then sit and watch the kids play, without getting harassed by a woman about it.
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Postby onezero4u » Mon Apr 18, 2011 3:33 pm

my good pal is 42 and only dates latin chicks from 18 to 28...no problem...no stares....no hassels....zero.

america culture for men sucks balls
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
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