Would having Asperger Syndrome affect my chances in dating abroad?

[Adama]

SO TRUE J.Adama!

Most women in America have no social skills at all, especially the younger ones. They just judge from a position of unaccountability. It's total hypocrisy and one sided. And of course you are NOT allowed to complain about it expose the truth about it. It's taboo. America is all about conforming to whatever bullshit the media spills out at you. It's not about truth or freedom.

What I don't get is, if women have no social skills, then why do men need social skills to meet women? Isn't that odd?

It's just more of the same. It is never the women's fault. It is the evil men.

Also sex is very easy for women. They dont have to do anything. They lack any real perspective or ability to see things from the other side. So they figure that if a man can not get a woman, then he must be truly f***ed up. Cause sex is really easy to get, after all. They dont stop to think how much work men have to put into it. They only think of it from the woman's side.

And if you attempt to blame the women, you will get a knee jerk emotional response, rather than a well-reasoned one, cause it strikes at the core of their being.

[Adama]

The reasons why women dont have social problems like men is because they need each other. They need to have a gaggle of friends around them. If not, they feel like a "loser." The other women may not like them, but they put up with them, because they know the fury each individual woman will unleash on the others if they attempt to exclude her. It is friendship by fear and intimidation.

Get them alone and you just may see (if they trust you enough) that they secretly hate their friends.

Not come across this personally- ever. Maybe a generalisation of youngsters in US?

Then you havent been observant enough.

[Winston]

The reasons why women dont have social problems like men is because they need each other. They need to have a gaggle of friends around them. If not, they feel like a "loser." The other women may not like them, but they put up with them, because they know the fury each individual woman will unleash on the others if they attempt to exclude her. It is friendship by fear and intimidation.

Get them alone and you just may see (if they trust you enough) that they secretly hate their friends.

Not come across this personally- ever. Maybe a generalisation of youngsters in US?

Then you havent been observant enough.

She's never been to the US. UK girls are not as dysfunctional. They are far more mature and down to earth, in my experience. So she hasn't seen what you've seen.

[Adama]

The reasons why women dont have social problems like men is because they need each other. They need to have a gaggle of friends around them. If not, they feel like a "loser." The other women may not like them, but they put up with them, because they know the fury each individual woman will unleash on the others if they attempt to exclude her. It is friendship by fear and intimidation.

Get them alone and you just may see (if they trust you enough) that they secretly hate their friends.

Not come across this personally- ever. Maybe a generalisation of youngsters in US?

Then you havent been observant enough.

She's never been to the US. UK girls are not as dysfunctional. They are far more mature and down to earth, in my experience. So she hasn't seen what you've seen.

I highly doubt that.

I work around women (when I work that is) from ages 21 to nearly 80. They are just about all the same in terms of maturity, actions, gossip, and the rest.

I havent been to England, but I met a few in Europe and they didnt strike me as being any better than American women.

[adam917]

I've been diagnosed with AS in late 2007 and I knew of the condition since 2005 (I can't see calling it a dis-order or disease or even disability as it can help in some situations as well). I don't believe I have it 100 % otherwise I'd likely have next to zero friends and have maybe only 3 interests at the most and I'd be more obsessed with them than I currently am. My main symptoms are social-related. I have trouble picking up some body language. It took me a long time to learn many basic skills when I was a small child, like tying shoes for instance.

My solutions to problems I face can be different from most peoples' approaches at times. Depending on what is involved, this can be appreciated or dis-liked. One example is trying to live & travel car & airline-free whenever possible. Many societies aren't built for this type of lifestyle any-more, though exceptions exist here & there. One retired couple I chatted with appreciated the rail travel sites I gave them, however another friend who believes in taking the most efficient & quickest way to get between locations sees such sites as useless because the time the solutions take can be in the realm of days to weeks or even months, depending on where one is going. Most people do not have that kind of time for just getting from A to B. I dream of someday doing a round-the-world journey hitting as many countries as I can realistically do, home to home, without flying.

[Asp]

I got my diagnosis in 2006, and at that time, Asperger's was a new thing to me, although I of course had it all my life.

I would say I fit all the main symptoms in quite a classic way. Winston, a useful site for me was the Wikipedia article on Asperger Syndrome. When I saw it, I knew just about everything fitted me to a T so it's a good idea of my symptoms.

[DaRick]

I have Asperger's and along with my love-shyness, this has influenced the fact I have never been in a committed long-term relationship. Winston and others have had successes in relationships abroad. Would it make a difference if a person was in that environment and had Asperger's, affecting their communication and interaction skills?

Having AS myself, I do wonder whether the love-shyness is a product of your sensing of the inherent hostility of Anglo women towards those who aren't their type (which would make one reluctant to approach them)? I ask you this because I've been very reluctant to approach Anglo-Australian women in the past, for fear of being rebuked or slapped. It has happened; even if the girl knows and recognises me, she can be as cold as ice.

[DaRick]

Women dont have good social skills at all. It just seems that way cause we arent allowed to judge women. Women are absolutely socially inept.

I don't believe that social skills are necessarily an issue with women; it's a matter of arrogance (i.e - "I'm a goddess, so why should I have to approach men?" kind of mentality), intellectual depth and culture. Anglo girls in Australia typically (despite often excelling in course/schoolwork) have the intellectual depth of a puddle of urine. I've noticed that Chinese/non-Anglo women are far more competent at actually holding conversations and encouraging boys to talk to them by starting conversations with them or at least encouraging them to speak through more positive body language (as opposed to Anglo-AUS women, who often just stare at you, which could signify anything).

[Winston]

My friend Rock explained to @kangarunner why Asia does not punish or persecute people with Asperger's the way America does. Here's why.

Rock:

"I think parts of Asia are much more suitable for people with Aspergers than the USA, but that is just a hypothesis supported by logic and personal experience.

Secondary schools in Taiwan, the Philippines, and many other parts of E and SE Asia tend to be structured and closely controlled by adults, even when students are already in their teens. But in the States, junior high and especially public high schools tend to be primarily run by the students themselves. Kids are immature, and in groups, they tend to prey on the weak and worship the strong. Being popular in high school is like being a sort of celeb in real life. But if there is something visibly off about you, the teen society may treat you like an outcast. Most of your interactions with other people are negative, and sometimes even the coaches and teachers follow the group dynamics set by the teens. Someone with Aspergers is effectively a social retard, and such kids get socially bullied like other unpopular kids. In Asian schools, aspies and other weak kids are more sheltered by the high levels of structure, rules, and direct adult supervision.

In the Philippines adult world, people act more empathetically than in the US. They are even open to accepting aspies into their social circles, especially if the aspy shows other redeeming qualities such as kindness and sincerity. In Taiwan, the main yardsticks others measure you on are your career, family, and wealth. If you are even average in these areas, having a manageable mental disorder is not seen as a big deal. Taiwanese are, in general, better educated and have a better understanding of what makes people tick. They, too, are a lot more empathetic than Americans are.

The current mayor of Taipei and Chairman of the Taiwan People's Party, Ko Wen-je, is known by the public to have Asperger syndrome. Yet this condition has not much hindered him as he was popularly voted to be mayor and is also happily married with three children, one of whom also has Aspergers."