Would you stay in the US if you found a good American woman?

chanta76 · Post by **chanta76** » November 1st, 2010, 9:48 pm

Hi,

I have a question. I been reading these forums on and off. I think I have a sense of the type of guys who want to live over seas. Honestly I understand some of the reason but it seems like the main part of the reason to live over seas is because of the women.

I was wondering what if...you met a great woman in USA...not the stereotypical American woman but a devoted good woman. How many of you guys would stay in the states to be with this woman?

I mean it seems like many of the guys who post here have a hard time connecting with American women and the biggest reason to go overseas is for the traditional woman . But what if you meet a nice (I know it's rare but it can happen.) woman here in the states. I mean how many of you will stay?

ssjparris · Post by **ssjparris** » November 2nd, 2010, 1:48 am

i would not stay at all. even if i did have a good woman that was american. it is too isolated and the environment is full of people that are anti-social and paranoid of eachother. i am getting out for companionship and friendly environement as well. people from other countries are just way better to connect with and a deeper meaning too.

Repatriate · Post by **Repatriate** » November 2nd, 2010, 1:56 am

For me it's not so much about the women than it is the excitement and difference in living abroad. I would slowly go crazy living in a suburban white picket fence environment. I suppose I could move to a big city like Chicago or NY but I just don't care for the typical U.S. social environment that much. It's ok in small doses for vacation or recreation but having to live there constantly is not appealing. So, the answer is ..I would convince her to move overseas with me.

It would be nice to meet an American woman like this but it's literally like trying to find a lifetime score while panning for gold. It's unlikely to happen in even the best conditions.

Post by **Winston** » November 2nd, 2010, 4:04 am

Even if you find a great woman in the states, after a while she'll just become a routine and life will become a routine again. Plus relationships are unstable in the US. At any moment when she falls out of love or gets bored, she'll leave. There is no sense of loyalty or commitment.

Being in different countries is what gives life variety and intrigue. The US is basically set up for routine. The only fun, romance, adventure you get is on TV, not in your lifestyle.

gsjackson · Post by **gsjackson** » November 2nd, 2010, 7:41 am

Good question. I would hope she'd be interested in spending a lot of time out of the U.S. But when you marry a woman, you marry her culture, and I just can't see marrying American culture. I could bury myself in my little subcultures like handball and golf if I lived here, watch the BBC instead of American "news," but I'd have to always be averting my gaze from the culture I lived in. Long term, it just seems like a formula for extreme cognitive dissonance and psychological bad health.

And in any case, I don't think the relationship would work unless the woman was similarly disenchanted with American culture. Most of them don't want to hear anything about that stuff, though. This is the land of positive thinkers.

dsc · Post by **dsc** » November 2nd, 2010, 1:12 pm

My interest in a life outside of my home country has never been about moving to another for the women.

It's more about living a freer life. Free of taxation planned properly (I'm Canadian), free of the tons of regulations from Canada, free of winter that we have for 4-5 months of the year.

If one had a portable business, one could live a simple life in an exotic, less expensive location and be happy.

This may or may not include a GF/wife in the foreign land.

I have enough interests, I could see myself living a full and satisfying life without a GF/wife -- whether it's in my home country or in another country.

If I met one of those rare 'good' women in my country, is really besides the point as this is not what I'm aiming for in my life.

I'm staying single and relatively free of possessions to facilitate my move when it is time.

dsc · Post by **dsc** » November 2nd, 2010, 1:15 pm

I have a Brazilian/Canadian friend who loves to travel to Fortaleza every year.

He would love to move there permanently but he never will because his wife wants to stay put in Canada.

This is all too common for married people, I understand.

I would never limit my options in life by getting married here..

keius · Post by **keius** » November 2nd, 2010, 2:52 pm

Getting married in general limits your options. Having kids limits them even more. The states is just a place to make money and provide for my family. It's home....for the time being.

There are good things, like being a good environment to raise my kid, as long as it's a good local environment. Some places in the US are horrible. My wife wants to go back to living in China. She really doesn't like it here but she's here for the same reasons i'm here. Making money and our kid.

Anyway, i don't plan to stay here forever. We have a nice place in China and plan to retire there when the time comes assuming we are still together.

Although i'm fairly ok with my life, sometimes i do wonder if i'd be alot happier had i not gotten hitched. There wasn't a single person that
knows me (including family) who wasn't shocked when they found out i married.
My advice has ALWAYS been to not get hitched even if you really wanted a child. Look at Pitt and Jolie. No marriage and it's
working out fairly well. It's a shitty commitment if a piece of paper is the only thing keeping 2 people together.
I will admit, there are times i regret that i got married BUT i'd still be with her right now if we hadn't married.
How i will feel down the road is another matter

wuxi · Post by **wuxi** » November 2nd, 2010, 5:34 pm

chanta76 wrote:Hi,

I have a question. I been reading these forums on and off. I think I have a sense of the type of guys who want to live over seas. Honestly I understand some of the reason but it seems like the main part of the reason to live over seas is because of the women.

I was wondering what if...you met a great woman in USA...not the stereotypical American woman but a devoted good woman. How many of you guys would stay in the states to be with this woman?

I mean it seems like many of the guys who post here have a hard time connecting with American women and the biggest reason to go overseas is for the traditional woman . But what if you meet a nice (I know it's rare but it can happen.) woman here in the states. I mean how many of you will stay?

That question is bullshit to begin with. Theres no such thing as a good american woman. Thats why this forum was invented.

If your a guy and you happen to be related to my mom and my sister chances are your not going to be too interested in marrying a white woman.

mrsesamechicken · Post by **mrsesamechicken** » November 2nd, 2010, 8:45 pm

Remember, the website is called "HappierAbroad" not "HappierAbroadByFindingSex" There are many reasons as to why one would move to a different country (not just from the US standpoint).

Post by **Winston** » June 19th, 2018, 12:13 pm

Yes most of us would probably stay in the US if we found a good devoted woman that we were also attracted to and loved. And if we got bored in the US, we could always do some traveling for stimulation, rather than live abroad. The US can provide a comfortable lifestyle, but the cost of living is too expensive and requires too much work and income to maintain, unless you already have assets or inheritance assets and properties. Also the US has the most beautiful nature, like in Colorado and Utah and Arizona. Nothing beats the scenery and landscape beauty and fresh air there. And there are friendly towns in the US too in some states, like Texas or Louisiana or Kentucky or New Mexico. So the US has diversity too.

However, it's true that going abroad isn't just about women. Some of us simply fit better in foreign cultures than in American culture, and that includes me too. This is especially true if you are very soulful and authentic and sensitive. America is not for people who are sensitive or deep feeling. So basically I tell people that I like America for its nature and scenic beauty, but not for its people or culture.

Light · Post by **Light** » June 19th, 2018, 2:48 pm

Deleted

Post by **Winston** » June 22nd, 2018, 5:39 pm

Ok I started a poll based on the OP's question. Cast your vote above!

Light · Post by **Light** » June 23rd, 2018, 10:03 am

Winston wrote: ↑
June 22nd, 2018, 5:39 pm
Ok I started a poll based on the OP's question. Cast your vote above!

I cast my vote and it was "No, I would still move abroad" because I wouldn't ever want to stay in America.

Contrarian Expatriate · June 23rd, 2018, 9:45 pm

The problem with the premise is every woman a man fancies seems to be a good woman until the point that she is not. The fact that she can bring down the power of the state and the courts upon you to "zero you out" (as Rollo Tomassi would say) makes this a non-starter for me.

Women in non-Western countries have the same awareness that they could ruin you if need be, but there is no need for them to wear it on their sleeve or invoke it unless it is truly justified. Part of the reason is because America conditions women to be paranoid about men as potential rapists, abusers, and threats. When men are considered "the social enemy" by women, it is only a matter of time before you will be tossed aside and ruined.

That being the case, American women and the system that enables them to ruin men are persona non grata for smart men.