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What do you tell the girls about seeing other girls?

Posted: November 24th, 2010, 10:21 pm
by YoucancallmeAl
Hey guys,

I'm talking to several different Filipina girls online and I'm starting to really like a couple of them.
I would like to visit at least a few different girls when I make the itinerary for my trip. And probably try to meet some new ones when I get there.

My question is: What is the best thing to tell them when they ask if you're seeing other girls?
Filipinas are very wary of men cheating on them or "playing games". What is the best way to handle their concern that they're not the only one?
I don't want to hurt any of these girls but I don't want to miss out on any potential action either.
For example, if I visit a girl in Cebu and we really hit it off, it would feel weird to tell her that I'm then planning to meet another girl in Iliolo. How would you guys finesse this?

Posted: November 24th, 2010, 10:48 pm
by zzzz
Depends on the girl and how much you like her. Most Filipinas know how popular foreigners are there and thus know they are unlikely to be the only one competing for you. It really isn't any of their business unless you take them on as a girlfriend I'd say. Iliolo is quite a ways from Cebu. Would you tell a girl you went on a date or two in Chicago about a girl you were going to date in New York? I wouldn't bother.

Posted: November 24th, 2010, 11:33 pm
by Winston
Wow that's a tough one. There really is no clean answer or win-win situation. Just tell her that you don't want to commit now. You are just checking out the Philippines. You can also say that in your culture, it is customary for people to date a few weeks before they commit or something like that.

If she asks if you are going to see another girl, just change the subject or make a lighthearted joke. That's the Filipino way of avoiding confrontation, so she'll understand. I mean, what else can you do?

Or you can lie. White lies are actually normal and not considered bad in the Philippines, so she will be very forgiving if you do give white lies. They do it all the time, so why can't you?

Personally I wouldn't, but it's your choice, and if you did, it would be within the ways of their culture.

Posted: November 24th, 2010, 11:59 pm
by YoucancallmeAl
Hmm, ok. Well, that's good to know they don't mind white lies. I lied about my age on my dating profile (I shaved 3 years off). So when I reveal the truth they shouldn't be too disappointed, right?
I also had a hot 30-yr old contact me and we webcamed on Skype. Her profile said she had no kids. Then she reveals she has a 9-yr old son. Normally that would be a dealbreaker but she was very hot and very nice.
Here's something odd though:
She told me she had a birthday a few days ago and suggested I get her a birthday gift. She then recommended a gift website there in PH where I could buy stuff online for her and they'd deliver it. Nothing expensive just little knick-knacks. I said, sorry, but I'll wait until we meet in person to buy you a gift. That was 5 days ago and she hasn't responded to me since. Here's what's suspicious: She works at an online sales biz just like the one she wanted me to use. If it was the same biz she works at, do you think she was trying to scam me by getting my credit card info?

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 12:04 am
by Winston
They don't usually mind if you lie about your age, esp if it's by a few years.

That 30 year old woman seems suspicious. I wouldn't have bought her something for her birthday either. What you told her was the right way to handle it.

Which site did she tell you to buy something at? Can you show us? Maybe someone here can look at it and tell you if it's a legit business or not?

Women scammers don't usually try to get your credit card numbers. Usually male scammers do that. Most likely she just wanted to get a gift from you. They are shameless about that sort of thing.

Did you meet this woman on Blossoms? If so, maybe you should report her to them.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 12:44 am
by YoucancallmeAl
The site is

I'm not on Blossoms. Should I be? I met her and several other interested Filipinas on InternationalCupid. Is CherryBlossoms better? There's also a FilipinaCupid but my hands are full just keeping up with all the interested Filipinas on IntCupid.
I think it's too soon to report her. She may have just been honestly trying to get a gift. But I'm keeping my guard up.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 12:50 am
by Winston
I don't know about better. But Blossoms has a lot more Filipinas and is one of the most popular sites for meeting Filipinas who are seeking foreigners. FilipinaCupid is good too.

Momopi, can you check that link and see if it's a legit business?

Ok I just looked it over. It looks legit to me. You can do a google search for their domain name and see if it's been blacklisted anywhere.

Most likely, she just wanted a gift.

But like most here will tell you, it's better you find a woman without a child.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 4:10 am
by Winston
To the OP:

I showed your question to that intelligent Filipino guy, the one I posted all that advice from in the Asia section, and here is what he had to say:
Hi Winston,

I'd go with white lies. Or ask her in a playful way why she wants to know ("Bakit mo gusto malaman? Selos ka ba") which literally translate to "why do you want to know? Are you jealous". Take note that it has to be in a playful manner. This way you can see how she feels about that. Then after you tell her that you are just teasing her follow it up with a white lie by saying you have to meet an old friend.

In Filipino culture it is called "lambing" or sweetness with playfulness. But it works in other cultures.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 4:35 am
by zzzz
I've had girls ask me to come to their birthday party for a first meeting. I assumed it was legit, kinda hard to fake a birthday party, but it was just really odd and I never could do it. Must be some status symbol to have a foreigner show up.

I like DateInAsia since it's free! I try to stay away from single moms like the plague. There are lots of women without kids why bother with the extra cost, hassle and trouble? Often single moms are much more aggressive since they truly need the cash a foreigner can bring.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 5:36 am
by Winston
It's not a status symbol for a foreigner to show up at a Filipina's birthday party. It's a status symbol if he shows up AND spends a lot of money at her birthday party! hahaha

That might be what they are hoping for when they invite you.

Also, some Filipinas will lie and tell you ti's their birthday, when it isn't, just to try to get you to get a gift they want. They are shameless about that kind of thing.

Posted: November 25th, 2010, 6:32 am
by Mr S
That girl seemed like a scammer. She probably dupes a number of idiot western guys hard up on sex since he is thinking with his little head and not the big one. They figure most guys will never see them and so why not get something out of the conversation if they can. Westerners have shit loads of money so it doesn't hurt him....

I wouldn't get caught up on girls and what they think of you. Your thinking like a westerner with a limited availability of quality women. There are thousands of women that would be eager to meet you and you can pretty much chat them up anywhere in any situation, its more about whether you want to or have the guts to just go up to them and strike a conversation. At least here in PI they won't shoot you down and make you feel like an idiot like western women do.

There are so many women here you'll find the time constraints of your limited holiday will be the biggest factor, rather than the women themselves since you will feel there isn't enough time to do everything you want to do. If you are just dating and having fun you can pretty much date any girl there; but if you are looking for marriage material make sure she has gone to university or is attending one cause you need one that has some kind of job skills and not brown trash (which i would define as uneducated and lower class) Most of those are in the bar scene. They can appear nice at first and a dream girl but once you get to know them you realize they have major limitations. The problems are on other numerous posts so I won't go into details. Basically, overseas getting p***y is not that hard, it's find QUALITY women that you would want to hang out with more than just a few times is difficult.

A majority of Filipinos are simpletons and there is not much to them. So if your the educated sort you will get bored hanging around them quite fast. That's why most foreigners who are married in Philippines and living here hang out in foreigner bars so they can actually have real stimulating conversations, which can rarely be found elsewhere.

I do English capability interviews for a living here and interview thousands of people, which 2/3rds are supposedly educated and they can barely hold up an intermediate level English conversation and most want to be nurses? English is quickly becoming a 2nd language in this country and you will realize most have limited English communication skills, especially the younger generations. So, unless you are looking for a Christian type virgin for marriage and plan to bring her back to the states, I wouldn't get too serious with any girls here. I've been here six years now and I can count how many would be decent wife material on one hand, yes I am picky but it also shows you can date hundreds of women here and very few are long term compatible. And yes, I have been with non-bar girls as well so I'm not just talking about bar girls or GRO's.

Think with the big head, not the little no matter how hot or nice she is. Just think what she will look like 10, 15, 20 years from now and having had kids....p***y with just one chick (who is possibly ignorant also) gets old fast if there isn't more to the relationship...