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Thai girl - How do I deal with her?

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Thai girl - How do I deal with her?

Postby rome86 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 4:39 am

I moved into a new location closed to the university. I have 4 roommates, one Kenyan lady,two thai guys and one thai girl ( who is cute by the way).
That thai girl is very friendly, warm, open. I mean she asks me stuff that women do not usually ask to people they just met. She even flirt with maybe just a little bit but it is a lot for an asian woman.
The problem is that she gets really cold, standoffish whenever her Thai friends are around.Sometimes before she can chat with me, she will make sure that none of her thai friends is around. I mean she even make excuses to stop our conversation. At the beginning, I thought that one of those guys was her boyfriend, but apparently they aren't because she told me that she had no boyfriend.
She is 27 by the way, I am 24 but she is shorter than me and looks like a 19 year old lady. I even had to lie that I was 28. How do I deal with her ? man it is weird asian women are cute but difficult to understand. I feel like she is stuck in a cage; i can't really step on my game man
:lol:
I forgot to mention that she chinese-thai so are they different from chinese ?
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Re: thai girl how do I deal with her ?

Postby Rock » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:31 am

rome86 wrote:I moved into a new location closed to the university. I have 4 roommates, one Kenyan lady,two thai guys and one thai girl ( who is cute by the way).
That thai girl is very friendly, warm, open. I mean she asks me stuff that women do not usually ask to people they just met. She even flirt with maybe just a little bit but it is a lot for an asian woman.
The problem is that she gets really cold, standoffish whenever her Thai friends are around.Sometimes before she can chat with me, she will make sure that none of her thai friends is around. I mean she even make excuses to stop our conversation. At the beginning, I thought that one of those guys was her boyfriend, but apparently they aren't because she told me that she had no boyfriend.
She is 27 by the way, I am 24 but she is shorter than me and looks like a 19 year old lady. I even had to lie that I was 28. How do I deal with her ? man it is weird asian women are cute but difficult to understand. I feel like she is stuck in a cage; i can't really step on my game man
:lol:
I forgot to mention that she chinese-thai so are they different from chinese ?


Are they uni students? In my uni (over 35,000 students), each country had its group and their associations and they were like small or not so small cliques. Naturally, people gossiped a lot. So individual members tended to be very cautious and would sometimes hide their personal life unless they were already married. Many times, Asians, especially females, from the various groups would make close friendships with opposite sexed locals (non-Asian Americans) but keep things on the down-low. Anyone who openly dated someone from the host country would clearly be an interesting gossip target. Even relationships within the cliques were taken slowly since changing partners would open one to criticism.

My advice, don't take any offense and don't push or pressure her. Take it at her speed and act completely cool and easygoing. Also show some interest in her culture and maybe make a Thai male friend or two. If you let it happen, it probably will eventually. If you try to make it happen, it will likely backfire.
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Re: thai girl how do I deal with her ?

Postby Mr S » Sun Jan 16, 2011 12:33 pm

rome86 wrote:I moved into a new location closed to the university. I have 4 roommates, one Kenyan lady,two thai guys and one thai girl ( who is cute by the way).
That thai girl is very friendly, warm, open. I mean she asks me stuff that women do not usually ask to people they just met. She even flirt with maybe just a little bit but it is a lot for an asian woman.
The problem is that she gets really cold, standoffish whenever her Thai friends are around.Sometimes before she can chat with me, she will make sure that none of her thai friends is around. I mean she even make excuses to stop our conversation. At the beginning, I thought that one of those guys was her boyfriend, but apparently they aren't because she told me that she had no boyfriend.
She is 27 by the way, I am 24 but she is shorter than me and looks like a 19 year old lady. I even had to lie that I was 28. How do I deal with her ? man it is weird asian women are cute but difficult to understand. I feel like she is stuck in a cage; i can't really step on my game man
:lol:
I forgot to mention that she chinese-thai so are they different from chinese ?


What race are you? If you are not of a lighter Asian skinned higher social class background it's highly probable that she is trying to save face around her friends. Cause technically she is probably of a higher social class than the typical brown skinned thai's. Basically Chinese mixed Asians will not date outside their social groups cause their families want them to maintain their Chinese cultural identity as well as maintain their perceived superiority over the natives of the country. They do that here in the Philippines too. The Chinese/Filipinos are basically the top tear of the social classes here and they try to maintain that by staying away from the natives here and educating their children top notch in comparison from the general population. The girls will not date westerners unless you are of Chinese decent. You also have to have decent credentials i.e. money and a good paying job to have any possible luck with trying to date her. Her parents will ultimately control who she decides to get into a relationship with. So you're pretty muh out of luck.

BTW, what do you do there to have so many roommates? You can't get any action with regular chicks or girls you pick up having that many room mates. How much money you make there?
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Re: thai girl how do I deal with her ?

Postby Rock » Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:17 pm

Mr S wrote:
rome86 wrote:I moved into a new location closed to the university. I have 4 roommates, one Kenyan lady,two thai guys and one thai girl ( who is cute by the way).
That thai girl is very friendly, warm, open. I mean she asks me stuff that women do not usually ask to people they just met. She even flirt with maybe just a little bit but it is a lot for an asian woman.
The problem is that she gets really cold, standoffish whenever her Thai friends are around.Sometimes before she can chat with me, she will make sure that none of her thai friends is around. I mean she even make excuses to stop our conversation. At the beginning, I thought that one of those guys was her boyfriend, but apparently they aren't because she told me that she had no boyfriend.
She is 27 by the way, I am 24 but she is shorter than me and looks like a 19 year old lady. I even had to lie that I was 28. How do I deal with her ? man it is weird asian women are cute but difficult to understand. I feel like she is stuck in a cage; i can't really step on my game man
:lol:
I forgot to mention that she chinese-thai so are they different from chinese ?


What race are you? If you are not of a lighter Asian skinned higher social class background it's highly probable that she is trying to save face around her friends. Cause technically she is probably of a higher social class than the typical brown skinned thai's. Basically Chinese mixed Asians will not date outside their social groups cause their families want them to maintain their Chinese cultural identity as well as maintain their perceived superiority over the natives of the country. They do that here in the Philippines too. The Chinese/Filipinos are basically the top tear of the social classes here and they try to maintain that by staying away from the natives here and educating their children top notch in comparison from the general population. The girls will not date westerners unless you are of Chinese decent. You also have to have decent credentials i.e. money and a good paying job to have any possible luck with trying to date her. Her parents will ultimately control who she decides to get into a relationship with. So you're pretty muh out of luck.

BTW, what do you do there to have so many roommates? You can't get any action with regular chicks or girls you pick up having that many room mates. How much money you make there?


Don't forget that among the so-called race categories in the US - white, black, Asian, Hispanic and pacific islanders - Asian women date and marry outside of their race more than any of the other race/sex groups. Assuming he's white or even black, there will likely be some family and/or peer obstacles, especially if she is of NE Asian ancestry. But such obstacles are often not too difficult to overcome as evidenced by the stats - so many white guy/yellow girl pairings. The girls include American borns, those who came over for undergrad study, and even FOB grad students. It will be even easier if he is on a solid path to academic and career success or if he has a lot of money. Of course being a few years younger doesn't help so I can understand why he lied on that point.
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Postby Mr S » Sun Jan 16, 2011 1:42 pm

Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders. So chinese in Thailand or any other SE Asian country will feel they are superior to the native culture and thus it will be very difficult for a native Thai let alone a non-NE Asian westerner to have any decent shot at getting into a relationship with a Chinese-Thai girl. IF she was going to school in America perhaps it would be possible but not in Thailand. She is probably ashamed of what her friends think of her hanging out with a westerner and a younger one at that that has no money or credentials.

Most of the mainland Chinese women marrying foreigners are from the middle to lower classes as well. I think it would be difficult for a daughter of a rich Chinese family with political and business connections to allow her to marry a foreigner unless it was for a way to increase the family's overall wealth and influence, that's probably rare.

For example, I work with a few unmarried Chinese Filipino women who are highly educated and they are in their thirties-forties now. They would rather stay single forever and never marry then have a relationship or marry a Malay type Filipino male.
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Postby Rock » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:38 pm

Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders. So chinese in Thailand or any other SE Asian country will feel they are superior to the native culture and thus it will be very difficult for a native Thai let alone a non-NE Asian westerner to have any decent shot at getting into a relationship with a Chinese-Thai girl.


It happened to me once in Bangkok (a relationship, not marriage). And she was from a pretty wealthy family (I met the mother). I must have been lucky :)

Also, not all Thai-Chinese are hi-so and rich. There are plenty of middle class ones too. I doubt they are as selective as their hi-so counterparts. Seriously, I hired a Thai-Chinese to do some English to Thai document translation for me. Their family lived on a very modest income. The sister worked at Bangkok Bank and the brother worked as a freelance translator. The girl told me that many of her colleagues at the Bangkok Bank headquarters were also Thai Chinese.
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Postby Rock » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:41 pm

Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders.


Does that apply to American born ethnic Chinese women who marry outside of their race as well which is not uncommon? I've been so influenced by the stereotypes, I sometimes wonder whether low class ABCs even exist.
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Postby Mr S » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:54 pm

Rock wrote:
Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders.


Does that apply to American born ethnic Chinese women who marry outside of their race as well which is not uncommon? I've been so influenced by the stereotypes, I sometimes wonder whether low class ABCs even exist.


IF they grew up partially in the states when they were still children or young adults and impressionable then I'm assuming they are more willing to date different social classes or races. But they may also have the same American Women stigma if they themselves are educated and successful that they can't "find" any decent men so they make that excuse why they have trouble getting into long-term relationships with American men.

I'm not Asian, I'm white and my sister is in her mid-thirties and fairly educated and successful and blames men why she is still single and can't get into a relationship. She is just a very difficult person to be around and doesn't realize it. Everything is men's fault in regards to making a relationship work. She will probably be single or semi single most of her life.
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Postby Rock » Sun Jan 16, 2011 2:55 pm

Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders. So chinese in Thailand or any other SE Asian country will feel they are superior to the native culture and thus it will be very difficult for a native Thai let alone a non-NE Asian westerner to have any decent shot at getting into a relationship with a Chinese-Thai girl. IF she was going to school in America perhaps it would be possible but not in Thailand. She is probably ashamed of what her friends think of her hanging out with a westerner and a younger one at that that has no money or credentials.

Most of the mainland Chinese women marrying foreigners are from the middle to lower classes as well. I think it would be difficult for a daughter of a rich Chinese family with political and business connections to allow her to marry a foreigner unless it was for a way to increase the family's overall wealth and influence, that's probably rare.

For example, I work with a few unmarried Chinese Filipino women who are highly educated and they are in their thirties-forties now. They would rather stay single forever and never marry then have a relationship or marry a Malay type Filipino male.


1. I think the uber-rich or famous class is very particular almost anywhere. But don't they sometimes pair with similarly high status foreigners? In a few cases, even foreign commoners.

2. Remember, this wealthy class in SE Asia is quite small in number. Just because Thai studies in the States does not mean they are Chinese and or rich. One of my good Thai friends studied in the US and is now doing a graduate degree in Germany. Her family owns a Travel Agency and makes a great living from it but she is not Thai Chinese, just central Thai from Bangkok. She is completely free to date and marry foreigners too. In fact, the only pressure she got from her family was to continue the family business and she shrugged that right off.

3. Final point, I don't think it is difficult for Singaporeans to date westerners either, as long as they are from a commensurate or better socio-economic class.

4. Sounds like Chinese Filipinas are a very tough nut to crack for locals non-Chinese and western expats. I guess its hard for them to trust outsiders given the harsh environment they endure there. Like my Indian friend who grew-up there, they also probably look down on the Malays.
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Postby Mr S » Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:07 pm

Rock wrote:
Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders. So chinese in Thailand or any other SE Asian country will feel they are superior to the native culture and thus it will be very difficult for a native Thai let alone a non-NE Asian westerner to have any decent shot at getting into a relationship with a Chinese-Thai girl. IF she was going to school in America perhaps it would be possible but not in Thailand. She is probably ashamed of what her friends think of her hanging out with a westerner and a younger one at that that has no money or credentials.

Most of the mainland Chinese women marrying foreigners are from the middle to lower classes as well. I think it would be difficult for a daughter of a rich Chinese family with political and business connections to allow her to marry a foreigner unless it was for a way to increase the family's overall wealth and influence, that's probably rare.

For example, I work with a few unmarried Chinese Filipino women who are highly educated and they are in their thirties-forties now. They would rather stay single forever and never marry then have a relationship or marry a Malay type Filipino male.


1. I think the uber-rich or famous class is very particular almost anywhere. But don't they sometimes pair with similarly high status foreigners? In a few cases, even foreign commoners.

2. Remember, this wealthy class in SE Asia is quite small in number. Just because Thai studies in the States does not mean they are Chinese and or rich. One of my good Thai friends studied in the US and is now doing a graduate degree in Germany. Her family owns a Travel Agency and makes a great living from it but she is not Thai Chinese, just central Thai from Bangkok. She is completely free to date and marry foreigners too. In fact, the only pressure she got from her family was to continue the family business and she shrugged that right off.

3. Final point, I don't think it is difficult for Singaporeans to date westerners either, as long as they are from a commensurate or better socio-economic class.

4. Sounds like Chinese Filipinas are a very tough nut to crack for locals non-Chinese and western expats. I guess its hard for them to trust outsiders given the harsh environment they endure there. Like my Indian friend who grew-up there, they also probably look down on the Malays.



I'm not talking about native ethnicities of a particular country. I'm talking about strictly Chinese ethnicities that have Thai citizenship and only that. Of course a ethnic Thai will be able to date a foreigner if they are living in another country, they are obviously not as culturally inhibited as the Chinese.

I'm not talking about Singaporeans, they are more westernized and have multiple cultures living and working in the city and thus have grown up used to other races mixing. Thailand tourism has increased every decade since the Vietnam war but I think only recently the culture is starting to loosen up in regards to getting into relationships outside of their own nationalities.

I'm just talking about Thailand, and using a few examples from Philippines. I'm assuming the Chinese in the other 3rd world countries of SE Asia (Singapore and Hong Kong don't count) those Chinese families are still reluctant to mix with Western foreigners or outside their social class.

Yes, they enclose themselves in a gilded cage in their countries cause they tend to have more money than the local populations and thus are targeted. They just get used to keeping up a wall between themselves, even with Westerners.
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income and education

Postby Asia Outback » Sun Jan 16, 2011 3:34 pm

The statistics I have read, contrary to feminist stereotypes, are that men who marry foreign nationals are above average in income and education, with high concentration of tech. professionals in the mix. That only makes sense, it is not a cheap proposal.

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Re: thai girl how do I deal with her ?

Postby rome86 » Sun Jan 16, 2011 8:52 pm

Rock wrote:
Mr S wrote:
rome86 wrote:I moved into a new location closed to the university. I have 4 roommates, one Kenyan lady,two thai guys and one thai girl ( who is cute by the way).
That thai girl is very friendly, warm, open. I mean she asks me stuff that women do not usually ask to people they just met. She even flirt with maybe just a little bit but it is a lot for an asian woman.
The problem is that she gets really cold, standoffish whenever her Thai friends are around.Sometimes before she can chat with me, she will make sure that none of her thai friends is around. I mean she even make excuses to stop our conversation. At the beginning, I thought that one of those guys was her boyfriend, but apparently they aren't because she told me that she had no boyfriend.
She is 27 by the way, I am 24 but she is shorter than me and looks like a 19 year old lady. I even had to lie that I was 28. How do I deal with her ? man it is weird asian women are cute but difficult to understand. I feel like she is stuck in a cage; i can't really step on my game man
:lol:
I forgot to mention that she chinese-thai so are they different from chinese ?


What race are you? If you are not of a lighter Asian skinned higher social class background it's highly probable that she is trying to save face around her friends. Cause technically she is probably of a higher social class than the typical brown skinned thai's. Basically Chinese mixed Asians will not date outside their social groups cause their families want them to maintain their Chinese cultural identity as well as maintain their perceived superiority over the natives of the country. They do that here in the Philippines too. The Chinese/Filipinos are basically the top tear of the social classes here and they try to maintain that by staying away from the natives here and educating their children top notch in comparison from the general population. The girls will not date westerners unless you are of Chinese decent. You also have to have decent credentials i.e. money and a good paying job to have any possible luck with trying to date her. Her parents will ultimately control who she decides to get into a relationship with. So you're pretty muh out of luck.

BTW, what do you do there to have so many roommates? You can't get any action with regular chicks or girls you pick up having that many room mates. How much money you make there?


Don't forget that among the so-called race categories in the US - white, black, Asian, Hispanic and pacific islanders - Asian women date and marry outside of their race more than any of the other race/sex groups. Assuming he's white or even black, there will likely be some family and/or peer obstacles, especially if she is of NE Asian ancestry. But such obstacles are often not too difficult to overcome as evidenced by the stats - so many white guy/yellow girl pairings. The girls include American borns, those who came over for undergrad study, and even FOB grad students. It will be even easier if he is on a solid path to academic and career success or if he has a lot of money. Of course being a few years younger doesn't help so I can understand why he lied on that point.


I am a foreign student majoring in finance. She on the other hand wants to become a nurse. I moved into a new house closed to the campus and those are my roommates.
I have french, spanish and african blood ..but culturally I am more in the french part.
She is half chinese half thai but looks like a chinese but her skin is not that light or dark either.
Guys chill I am not in love with her, I was just making a conversation and trying to nail some asian roommate.Beside I know asian ladies are not easy especially those east asian (chinese, korean, japanese), they are very very conservative and materialistic.I have been approached by only 2 mature chinese ladies and one indonesian.
I highly preferred hispanic, white, black and south east brown to dark skinned asian. I hit on her because she is so feminine, sweet and cute but she has no ass or breasts so..you see no worth chasing that ..I will just keep hitting on hispanic ladies

:lol:
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Postby Repatriate » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:39 pm

Rock wrote:
Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders.


Does that apply to American born ethnic Chinese women who marry outside of their race as well which is not uncommon? I've been so influenced by the stereotypes, I sometimes wonder whether low class ABCs even exist.

A lot of ABC's (i'd say more than half) are completely assimilated culturally and mentally into America. Plus asians are only a rather sparse 4% of the U.S. population and mainly concentrated in a few counties in the U.S. I would not even really classify these women as "asian" women really..because I view being asian as more of a cultural distinction than a racial one. Most of these AA's are a part of white American culture through and through.

To be honest I think the asian-american identity in the U.S. is rather weak. Latinos and African-Americans had to struggle for other reasons and have 2 to 3 times the numbers of asian-americans so they were able to carve out a solid identity. This in part has to do with numbers and the fact that most 1st gen asian immigrants come from a more introverted clannish culture than the one they are integrating into. The result is a lot of people driven hard to succeed professionally but still on the outside in many ways from the U.S. mainstream.
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Postby Repatriate » Sun Jan 16, 2011 9:48 pm

Rock wrote:
Mr S wrote:Most of the Westerners marrying Asian women, they are from the middle to lower parts of their social orders. So chinese in Thailand or any other SE Asian country will feel they are superior to the native culture and thus it will be very difficult for a native Thai let alone a non-NE Asian westerner to have any decent shot at getting into a relationship with a Chinese-Thai girl.


It happened to me once in Bangkok (a relationship, not marriage). And she was from a pretty wealthy family (I met the mother). I must have been lucky :)

Also, not all Thai-Chinese are hi-so and rich. There are plenty of middle class ones too. I doubt they are as selective as their hi-so counterparts. Seriously, I hired a Thai-Chinese to do some English to Thai document translation for me. Their family lived on a very modest income. The sister worked at Bangkok Bank and the brother worked as a freelance translator. The girl told me that many of her colleagues at the Bangkok Bank headquarters were also Thai Chinese.

There are no strict rules about who they date or don't date and the foreigner stigma isn't all that serious if you come across as being socially respectable and in Bangkok for a purpose other than unbridled whoremongering. There is definite prejudice though and as an asian-american i've even encountered a few thai women who will not date anyone who isn't a middle/upper middle class Thai person. There is a spectrum of the thai dating pool that has a total aversion to foreigners..regardless of race.

It really is easy street for thai-american guys though. I know quite a few and all them had tons of cuties hanging all over them. I think a lot of it was basic hometeam advantage...language skills, cultural familiarity, as well as being a "foreign" born Thai. Those qualities are enough to date the cuties in the upper crust. A couple of the guys I know are actually dating models. It's pretty ridiculous.
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