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Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to North America. For those looking to relocate within the US or Canada, discuss your experiences and pros/cons of each domestic region.
9 posts • Page 1 of 1
America's Lost Boys: Why ARE so many young men failing to grow up?
By FIONA ROBERTS
Last updated at 3:26 PM on 5th July 2011
They've become the subject of dozens of films - the lazy twenty-something men who spend most of their time playing video games and refuse to get a job.
But although the likes of Seth Rogen's layabout character in Knocked Up are funny to watch on screen, for psychologists - and parents - they are part of a disturbing trend.
According to new research, America is producing a generation of 'lost boys' who lack the drive to start their careers and instead drop out of college and end up languishing in their parents' basements surfing the internet.
Stuck in adolescence: Psychologists say there is a disturbing trend among young men who struggle to find jobs, like Seth Rogen's character in Knocked Up
Last year saw the lowest level of youth summer employment on record, with only 60.5 per cent of those aged 16-24 in work or actively looking for jobs, compared with 77.5 per cent in 1989.
For men, that figure has fallen by 20 per cent, compared with 14 per cent for women.
Addiction: Young men are spending more time playing video games, like Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd's characters in The 40-Year-Old Virgin
WHAT'S STOPPING OUR YOUNG MEN GROWING UP?
According to Leonard Sax, there are five factors setting teenage boys 'adrift':
'Studies suggest that some of the most popular video games are disengaging boys from real-world pursuits.'
'Profound changes in the way children are educated have had the unintended consequence of turning many boys off school.'
'Overuse of medication for ADHD may be causing irreversible damage to the motivational centres in boysâ€™ brains.'
'Environmental oestrogens from plastic bottles and food sources may be lowering boysâ€™ testosterone levels, making their bones more brittle and throwing their endocrine systems out of whack.'
Devaluation of Masculinity
'Shifts in popular culture have transformed the role models of manhood. Forty years ago we had Father Knows Best; today we have The Simpsons.'
According to Concordia University sociologist Anthony Synnott: 'Young men get addicted - to video games, to drugs and alcohol.'
Perry Adler, a clinical psychologist in Montreal, told the Ottawa Citizen: 'Once we've ruled out a clinical diagnosis, one explanation is that we're dealing with someone who is struggling with not feeling passionate about anything.
'For him to commit to something feels like a waste of time.'
He said many parents see the trend starting when their sons are still in high school. Mr Adler said: 'We very often have seen parents coming in talking about teens who are languishing, spending much of their time on the Internet, not fulfilling academic responsibilities, not fulfilling their potential.'
He also blames movies like Knocked Up and the 40-Year-Old Virgin, as well as television programmes like Jackass, which idealise the stereotype of a lazy man.
He said: 'They're almost saying it's cool to be rude and oafish, to be destructive, not very productive.'
American psychologist Leonard Sax describes it as an epidemic.
He told the Citizen: 'I've spoken with many boys in Grades 1 to 3 across the U.S. and they've told me that school is a stupid waste of time.
'When I ask them why, they say, "I got in trouble for throwing snowballs," or "because I wouldn't sit still," or "on account of I drew a picture of soldiers stabbing each other".'
He said school is no longer a boy-friendly place, and points to the greater success of countries like Finland, where children don't start their formal schooling until the age of seven.
Poor role models: Psychologists say actors like Adam Sandler promote the stereotype of lazy men who fail to grow up
Young men are also being hampered by a growing gender gap in education.
Study: Leonard Sax says part of the problem is that boys feel bored at school
The number of women in college is now far greater than that of men, and as more highly-educated individuals tend to marry other more highly-educated individuals, men who drop out of college may find themselves outside the marriage market.
As young women increasingly put off having children while they pursue their careers, the age at which young people get married increases, too, so young men can postpone growing up as long as they want.
Last year Vanessa Wight, of Columbia University, used data from the U.S. Current Population Survey to show how young people are increasingly delaying marriage.
In 1970, the median age for a first marriage was 20.8 for women and 23.2 for men. It is now 25.9 for women and 28.1 for men.
She said: 'Some research suggests that the notion of adulthood is changing and that marriage and parenthood, once the hallmarks of adult status, are no longer as important to defining a successful transition to adulthood.'
Mr Adler said the best thing parents can do is encourage their children to set themselves small, achievable aims.
He said: 'This means they take on small challenges to begin with. Happiness comes from a sense that you're making progress toward goals.'
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z1Ri5URocD
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Usually I just post stuff that tends to follow the herd but are you f***ing serious?
First of all they are judging a person's growth based on what they do and instead of getting drunk all motherf***ing day some people prefer to play video games as a harmless outlet. Second I love how these idiots love to push on that mentality society has down here in that if something is happening then its your fault.
Down here in the shit states we have employers who are passing over people who have been unemployed for a certain amount of time, passing people based on their age and other bullshit jump through hoop tactics. Damn I've only gotten temp jobs on farms near my grandma because of connections because everybody else gets over 300 applicants a day and I guess nobody wants the farm jobs. I guess these idiots would rather live in their delusion than to see where the real problem lies
Sounds like a f***ing boomer wrote this.
"It is a sign of creeping inner death when we can no longer praise the living."
"If human beings were shown what they're really like, they'd either kill one another as vermin, or hang themselves."
Why will males not grow up = Why are males not turning out to be what women want them to be
Part of the reason is because the majority of these males were raised by single women who are poor role models for manhood.
The other reason is many young males don't see the reward in engaging in the fematrix where they do the work all to cater to women.
What does that have to do with growing up? People abroad are mature even if they can't find work. And I know plenty of people with jobs who are man-childs. I worked with them..
American culture has been glorifying laziness and being a pothead, beer-drinking loser for as long as I can remember. I don't think European nations were flooded with these ideas of bliss through apathy. All I heard growing up is how everyone wants to win the lottery so they can sit around on the front porch and do nothing.
Compared to poorer nations, lack of character building in youth years is essential. Instead of an unstable environment, Americans are spoiled with stability and a pampered lifestlye, which results in complacency. There is no percieved advantage or necessity to be grown up, only negatives. The nanny-state doesn't help. If you're not allowed to do anything for yourself, how are you supposed to become a man?
Then there's the relentless social engineering for perpetual childhood. Even if you overlook this, you can't deny that it's now a youth culture. When the tv first came out everything was adult oriented, the favorite shows of children were presented by men in their 50s or 60s. Now it's the reverese and basically everything is targeted at 12 year olds and the few shows for grown-ups are lowest common denominator and reinforce how much it sucks to be a grown-up (see PBS).
+1 But I would submit that they do so unknowingly because I talk to many men and they have never heard of MGTOW or the idea of moving abroad. In other words, they know there is a problem but they don't know what it is or how to fix it.
Personally I have a problem with a man over 25 who plays video games unless he's a video game developer or works in the industry. Men over 25 should be playing chess, learning a marital art or developing himself to be tough physically, reading books, or on websites like this dispensing knowledge or receiving it to help another person or better himself.
Make no mistake about it, video games were (are) made for CHILDREN and video games waste valuable time. All the hours spent playing a GAME and you walk away with nothing. At least with chess it's PROVEN that it helps your brain and thinking abilities.
Check with MSCDIRECT.COM and GRAINGER.COM to see if they have any openings in your area.
What State do you live in?