Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to North America. For those looking to relocate within the US or Canada, discuss your experiences and pros/cons of each domestic region.
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New Mexico is called "The Land of Entrapment" by a lot of people living in this state, and it's called that for a reason. The Southwest is one of the economically repressed regions of the US, and New Mexico is worse off than its neighbor Arizona. Even before the Great Depression II, New Mexico has always been a poor state throughout its history. And people have had a hard time finding a decent job, unless they were computer specialists, scientists, or engineers. Many who moved to NM ended up working a shit job and had a hard time getting out. To me, this tells me New Mexico may very well be a carbon copy of Bellingham, Washington in terms of how difficult it is to leave the place. But people in New Mexico tend to be more down to earth, except Los Alamos where it's just as fake (IMO, Los Alamos should be in California). Anyways, I have even noticed that many of the predominantly Hispanic small towns in the northern part of the state looked rather run down; even most of the colonial towns in Mexico are better kept up. And I also read that 12% of New Mexico residents were either unemployed or underemployed. Most of the jobs in places like Espanola, Santa Fe, and Albuquerque are service based, but even they can be hard to get. Los Alamos is only good for finding a job if you're a scientist or a computer wizard. B&ut other than that, you can kiss your job prospects goodbye because it's a small town, and most of the service jobs have female bosses who don't want to hire men. Anyways, I now have a lot more income and resources to expatriate before things get bad here in the US.
As far as the women in New Mexico, I've noticed the Hispanic girls to be more down to earth, especially if they grew up where there were hardly any gringos. But some of the Latina girls in Albuquerque seemed immensely stuck up since they probably were raised in predominantly gringo neighborhoods. However, most of the white girls were like anywhere else in America, although I met some who were more down to earth. A few times I drove through some of the Hispanic communities in Northern New Mexico, only to see that there wasn't anyone out and about like there was when I was in Mexico.
Practically the entire country is like that now. You're either on the higher end or the lower end, and the middle decreases every year. The middle class isn't just contracting for a while, it is being destroyed outright.
I had a friend who lived in NM for 1.5 years for a job and he hated it, couldn't make any friends, said it was nepotistic, insulated and socially dead for singles. He resigned his job to get out. He's a 30-something guy who only wants to date 30-something career white woman, FWIW. I'd be curious to see if there's younger, down to earth, reasonably attractive white or Hispanic girls in Albuquerque. My targets are 21-29 year old conservative-leaning white or hispanic women who are not yuppies, hood rats, or rednecks, so maybe I would like it better there than he did???
Albuquerque and Santa Fe are cool looking little cities and NM is just fantastically exotic countryside! I hear SF has some rich white artsy leftists. There are some good engineering jobs that I would qualify for around NM, so the economic depression may not be an issue for someone with my resume.
Which town or city did he live in?
Another thing is that it's hard to get started in a new place here. It's socially closed-off in a lot of places & everyone's paranoid about someone randomly hurting them for its own sake. There was this psychiatrist that wrote an article about how an obsession with money causes problems (I think the title was "How Our Obsession With Money Deadens Us"). Stuff like how someone doesn't hire strangers because they would do anything for money themselves- so they assume that everyone else is the same way & doesn't trust them.
I've also noticed that there's more concern about very serious left-field threats more than the ones already at their front door (ex: terrorists blowing them up over getting shot by cops going crazy, post-apocalyptic famines over the food that they're already eating damaging their health, what the next president's going to do over work taking over their lives, etc...). I'm not saying people shouldn't be far-thinking, but that applies with problems that are already present.
I lived in Albuquerque from 2008 until last year when I was getting my bachelor's degree at UNM. And my experience was this. UNM was mostly a commuter school until 2012 when new dorms opened on campus. But even as far as those living in the dorms, most students were from Albuquerque. However, some students would also be from other parts of New Mexico, and some were from out of state. As far as the girls, a large number of them were Hispanic, and most of the down to earth types were Latinas. However, some of the Latina girls at UNM were just as immensely stuck up and jaded as their Anglo counterparts, especially if they grew up in predominantly gringo neighborhoods such as the Northeast Heights. And only a small number of Anglo chicks were more relaxed and down to earth. I remember in 2010, I had deep friendships with two Latina girls I knew from high school, one of whom didn't go to UNM but lived in Albuquerque; and they were like foreign women in many ways. The one who didn't attend UNM also liked to dress nicely a lot, and she wore skirts and dresses quite frequently, especially during the spring and summer. She was almost as good looking as that Mexican-American chick from Man Diego I had a crush on in 2008; I thought she was the best-looking girl on campus at the time. But the Mex-Am turned out to be stuck up and rather domineering, and my friendship with her really crumbled. The non-student Hispanic girl I have been friends with since high school (we're still good friends to this day) was like night and day from the Mexican-American girl from California. And for that reason I wanted to date her, but she didn't want to be more than friends since she doesn't want the friendship to crumble. And yes, to this day, I am still kicking myself for not grabbing my passport at the time; for if I had known about the differences between American women and foreign women, I would've just headed to Latin America and gotten dates (my special someone IS likely south of the border).
During my first year at UNM (2008-2009), the girls seemed more mature. Those freshman girls I met in 2012 appeared to be really immature and still stuck in their high school days. And they also seemed even more cliquish than ever before, even the ones who lived on campus . Only one signaled me to approach her, and that was the chubby brunette girl who was rigid about not hanging out with me one on one; the rest of the girls I all met through her or through her friends. And Winston was right on the money when he mentioned that even if you do meet girls through your social circle, there's no guarantee that she's going to like you or you're going to like her. NONE of the girls I met through the chubby brunette liked me as more than friends, and even some of the hot ones I met through her wanted nothing to do with me whatsoever. NONE of these girls I was friends with from 2012 to 2014 I had deep friendships with. Those friendships were all superficial and drifted apart, and none of the girls wanted to hang out with me one on one.
This past summer I did chat up a few young non-Hispanic anglo women in the Old Town part of Albuquerque, and they were easier to connect with than the ones I met at UNM. A couple went to the community college a few blocks south, and one isn't going to either school, who happens to be that petite brunette girl who giggled a lot during the conversation and is free-spirited. There was also one girl I chatted up at the UNM campus who signaled me to approach her, and she was a dance major. I think the girls who get degrees in fine arts tend to be more relaxed and down to earth, whereas their counterparts who major in science, psychology, or women's studies, are quite stuck up and have difficult attitudes.
The party/nightlife scene in Albuquerque really gave off a dark energy. If you may remember, I went to this one house party in May 2014 in hopes of meeting an attractive girl that's not taken. The place was playing degenerate rap music really loud. It was a sausage fest, and every girl was either taken or had at least two guys chatting with her. And the people also had this plastic look in their eyes. Boy did that dark energy not go well with my soul. And then when I was staying in a hostel in Albuquerque over 4th of July weekend and I was busking in downtown, I felt the dark energy again and was definitely in reverse culture shock. But because I was in Mexico for a while and got immersed into Mexican culture, the dark energy didn't let me down like it did during my pre-HA days; Mexico has made me into a much stronger person. However, it was absolutely revolting to see girls dressed like sluts going into and out of the bars and nightclubs with their thug boyfriends. This was one of the big reasons I went back to Mexico (Ciudad Juarez is Americanized in some ways but is still distinctly Mexican). Last but not least, when I was going to Guadalajara, my friend Chris and I went to this one bar where patrons can play video games before I caught the Greyhound bus to El Paso. We chatted up a 30-something Hispanic girl but then got cockblocked by one of her female friends.
From my experience, Albuquerque has a shitty dating scene, especially after college. After 22-25, the pickins' get even slimmer. In general, the state of New Mexico has a LARGE epidemic of uneducated women and single mothers, and it even has the HIGHEST teen pregnancy rates in the USA. So a lot of the Latinas here, especially the ones in Albuquerque and the northern part of the state, are very much like low-class Mexican women but with a shit load more baggage and very difficult attitudes. Your best bet for finding reasonably attractive and down to earth Hispanic girls in the Southwest is probably going to be El Paso, Texas. I've been there and found a lot of the Mexican girls to be more relaxed, especially the ones who are fresh off the boat from neighboring Ciudad Juarez.
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