NEW BLOG: Horny Guy in Taipei

[gits]

Gits Ferrari's New Blog: http://hornyguyintaipei.blogspot.tw

Sample post:

Horny Guy in Taipei

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Um, you can't do that in here.

I took an “I Speak Englishâ€￾ taxi to Tienmu to meet Henry for dinner at Alleycats and had three pints of cider. He told me about a chick in Kending he met camping. Then he’s like, “By the way, our friend Gungho ate a chick out on the bar at Carnegies.

I got back to Taiplex in time to listen to the sticky shrill of the violin being practiced from the 2nd floor, and called Zag to confirm the story about Gungho. Henry, Zag and Derick were all there to witness it. Zag told me, “One minute there’s this hotty in a tight white dress and like most people, Derick and I are looking at her because she’s ridiculously hot and you can see her nipples pressing through and she’s dancing on the bar sexy and keeps going down onto her honkers (like squatting), right in the middle of the bar. She comes down and basically sits right down and shows everyone she has no knickers on and is perfectly shaven, then stands up again. So she keeps doing this and looking at people seductively and Gungho, who is standing near her, stands directly below looking up at her. She looks at Gungho as she goes from squatting to standing and running her hands all over herself. Next time she did it Gungho was very close and got right down and tucked his face right in there. This time she doesn’t go back up again and starts properly enjoying it and he sorta readjusts his head for a better angle. She finally fell to her butt and wrapped her legs around his head.


At this point everyone is staring, wondering “What the f**k?â€￾. Even the music stopped. It was a deathly silent moment. I was gobsmacked and all heads were in that direction. After a while I started to look at peoples expressions just because I have an odd voyeur obsession with Carnegies and I could see the DJ, well confused, looking at me but only because I was in the way of his view of what was happening. Then behind Gungho, I could see Liam, the bouncer, walking slowly up with a sort of wry smile on his face, mixed with a chuckle. He slowly goes up and leans over and has a word in Gungho’s ear. I was right there, so I heard something like ‘You cant really do that in here.’ but he was semi laughing. Then all of a sudden Gungho just pulls his head away and turns away with a Cheshire grin like the clever cat that got the cream. She climbs off the bar a bit embarrassed and shocked and runs straight up to the DJ, her soon to be ex "boyfriend" by the looks of things, and hugs him.â€￾

Gungho became a legend after that. There was even a short-lived foreigner band called “Gunghoâ€￾ touring Taipei after that.

I got a little sex crazed from his story and walked out of there with a boner, laser eye-balling every female on the MRT train. No chick dare take on my stare. It had been a while for me, and I just wanted to have sex with any female.

At that point, I would have f***ed Monica’s boss Cat. I didn’t love her, but I’d say anything just to get down her pants. Primal urges had removed any earlier form of gentlemanship. I was stalking the streets with a new hunger, looking in every window. There was potential everywhere.


My groove was broken when I went to the wrong 7-11 and experienced reverse discrimination. I was getting frustrated trying to communicate with the guy about how much I had to spend to get another free Hello Kitty magnet, and he’s pulling this “I’m not sure, next customer!â€￾ and there’s this line behind me. Finally I had to start banging on the counter to get his attention. “I’m next. I’m the next customer!â€￾ I screamed, then I continued pounding my hand on the counter. It’s time to leave Taiwan when you find yourself throwing fits in 7-11s for Hello Kitty giveaways. I’ve seen people whining for less though. Just remember if they have the offer again that purchasing a 1.75 liter bottle of Absolute Vodka and a pint of Häagen-Dazs Rocky Road equals ten Hello Kitty Magnets.

[gits]

I'm trying to get the third book, Spastic Entitlement, completely finished by summer. Yes, this blog contains all the sex related bits from the 2nd book; however, what I'm not giving away is the story of the investment scam that I found myself participating in. I do need to re edit my 2nd book to make it more readable. Right now it's a bunch of data, all in a row.


Here is some criticism to my new blog: Any comments?

Jeremy 1: This guy is the personification of every negative stereotype about foreigners that I have come across in Taiwan, and that I always find so frustrating to dispel. If you want to know why so many Taibeiren think so poorly of white people, read on: it's a hell of a toboggan ride.


Jeremy 2: I must agree with Jeremy on this. I don't care if the guy is black or brown, white or pink, whatever color. It's his character which is awful. And really, promoting this behavior on a group page where people weren't asked to join, associates everyone to that persona. It's hard enough for a foreigner in Taiwan to be treated with respect (beyond the five minute happy face period by most people here). So live and let live, and please don't post more negative stories like that or I will live and leave these groups.

Are my stories negative?

[anamericaninbangkok]

Let me ask you this...

Do you think your blog provides useful information to people? It's good to throw in a story once in a while but it seems like your blog is nothing but stories, some of which have no real beginning, middle, or end.

What is it you want the blog to accomplish?

[momopi]

o.O;; What were you doing with those Hello Kitty magnets ?

I got a bunch of Doremon stickers from 7-11 in TW that I gave away to my cousin. I think they trade them for Doremon toys.

[gits]

Most of the current blog are all the sex related or girl related stories from my 2nd book; however, what I'm not giving away is the story of the investment scam that I found myself participating in. I do need to re edit my 2nd book to make it more readable. Right now it's a bunch of data, all in a row.

[anamericaninbangkok]

[anamericaninbangkok]

[djfourmoney]

I think this is a guy looking for more reads of his blog. All he did is reply by cutting and pasting what he said before.

I am not going to visit his site if others are correct then its another pointless diary type blog that doesn't provide any info other than "I'm another White guy getting Asian p***y" BIG FUCKIN DEAL

[anamericaninbangkok]

I think this is a guy looking for more reads of his blog. All he did is reply by cutting and pasting what he said before.

I am not going to visit his site if others are correct then its another pointless diary type blog that doesn't provide any info other than "I'm another White guy getting Asian p***y" BIG FUCKIN DEAL

Well this is my point. I don't need or want to read about the exploits of someone unless they're giving me something useful; it's entertaining, I learned something, it makes me want to go there, etc.

In this case, it's poorly written with no real story in any of the posts. IMO, the writer is writing to hear himself talk, nothing more.

[gits]

DJ Fourmonkey: You didn't even read it. I can tell from what you said.
American in Bangkok: When you write, there's no sound.

[anamericaninbangkok]

Gits - I tried to give you some constructive criticism, if you don't want to take it that's up to you. I could care less.

What I know is this:

1) Your writing is shit. Sorry, but it's true. Perhaps if you listened it would get better. Then again, some people have a natural talent for writing, others do not. You very clearly do not.

2) Your writing is full of errors. I don't know if English is your first language but that's neither here nor there. If you write a book in English, readers expect the book to be free from errors. Readers also expect a story, not some gibberish written for the sake of the author.

3) Your books have been sold on Amazon for six years yet you still do not have a single review. Perhaps no one has bought either of your books. Have you ever considered there is a reason for this?

4)Instead of taking the criticism from me and from others as negative, you would be much better served to accept that at least some of what has been said is true.

In other words, wake up.

5) I make my living as a photojournalist and have won awards in writing and photography - can you say the same? As far as the sound my writing makes...well, I dare say my reputation as a writer is far greater than yours. That said, the only sound my writing needs to make is when I get paid - CHA-CHING. I hear this sound regularly.

[gits]

You know, I actually looked up the Hemingway, dialogue technique and tried to learn from you, but this last attack makes me say f**k You. I should have known when you told me to google it then you were a f***ing asshole. I watched your lame videos and you definitely seem like an idiot to me the way you so shitily read your copy and then still have to edit it together. Your view count sucks. I've uploaded videos that get 50,000 hits in a month.

Because you are affiliated with Winston, I'm not going to take it much farther beyond this, I'll just ignore you from now on, but please know this: I'd still rather be me than you. You jumped to a lot of conclusions about me, and got ugly really fast.

I've had over 5000 readers of my first book. I just put those ads on amazon back up a couple weeks ago, but they were originally on when you said, but I recently update both files.

If you are so great, why are you making low rate videos of yourself being stared at in train stations and even worse, why are you wasting your energy on me?

[anamericaninbangkok]

You know, I actually looked up the Hemingway, dialogue technique and tried to learn from you, but this last attack makes me say f**k You. I should have known when you told me to google it then you were a f***ing asshole. I watched your lame videos and you definitely seem like an idiot to me the way you so shitily read your copy and then still have to edit it together. Your view count sucks. I've uploaded videos that get 50,000 hits in a month.

Because you are affiliated with Winston, I'm not going to take it much farther beyond this, I'll just ignore you from now on, but please know this: I'd still rather be me than you. You jumped to a lot of conclusions about me, and got ugly really fast.

I've had over 5000 readers of my first book. I just put those ads on amazon back up a couple weeks ago, but they were originally on when you said, but I recently update both files.

If you are so great, why are you making low rate videos of yourself being stared at in train stations and even worse, why are you wasting your energy on me?

I'm semi-retired. I work when I want, do what I want, and I have all the time in the world.

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings but you asked for opinions. Sometimes the truth hurts. Hopefully you'll get better because of it.

[Rock]

I'm no writer but I do a hell of a lot of reading. It's one of my hobbies. I do it while travelling during down time (busses, planes, waiting at banks, etc.) or when I have a lot of alone time. I either aim to learn something (making money, picking up a language, etc) or just seek intersting mental stimulation.

I've not gotten around to looking at Gits blog but I read both of his books and loved them. For me, they served as entertainment and a source of reflection of certain Happier Abroad chapters in my own life. Reading them flooded my mind with so many fond an exciting memories of my times in Taiwan. And the financial scam build-up had me in suspense for as long as it took me to read to the bottom of the operation. I even recognized one of the characters in his book. The places, people, and events are real (tho certain details may at times be changed to protect persons who come up in book). I can totally relate to where Gits and many of the characters in his book are coming from.

In person, Gits is big and a bit rough looking (could pass for a lager lout lol). But he is an artist by trade and his writing and style has a creative bent IMO which makes it compelling. I can't speak for certain about the broader appeal of his books cus I myself am a special case (much in common with the author). But I certainly would recommend his books at least to anyone considering expating to Taiwan whether it be to establish a career, date local girls, or perhaps just teach and tour. I would also recommend them to anyone comparing various countries in Asia for travel and expating.

There's so many interesting works out there written by expats and travelers about Thailand but precious little about Taiwan. So I appreciate Gits a lot and hopes he keeps publishing great stuff in the same niche.

[gits]

thank you rock