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Share and recommend books and websites that you think are worth checking out.
Check out this interesting book that someone told me about:
Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners
by Deborah Anapol
Unlike other books on this topic, Polyamory in the 21st Century weaves together research and facts to provide an informed and impartial analysis of polyamory as a lifestyle and as a movement, and to place it in a psychosocial as well as an historical context. Anecdotes and personal experiences allow the reader to develop a better understanding of polyamory and the people who practice and enjoy it. Anapol addresses the practical, the utopian, and the shadow sides of this intriguing, mysterious, yet often threatening lifestyle. It honestly addresses difficult issues such as the nature of commitment without exclusivity, balancing personal needs with loyalty to a partner, evaluating beliefs about love and relationship, the impact of polyamory on children, and the challenges that arise when one partner wants monogamy and another prefers polyamory. Without judgement, she explores this increasingly common practice, and reveals the true nature of a lifestyle that many do not understand.
Another one: (what a title!)
The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures Paperback
by Dossie Easton (Author) , Janet W. Hardy (Author)
The essential guide for singles and couples who want to explore polyamory in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable.
For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms.
"I couldn't stop reading it, and I for one identify as an ethical slut. This is a book for anyone interested in creating more pleasure in their lives . . . a complete guide to improving any style of relating, from going steady to having an extended family of sexual friends." --Betty Dodson, PhD, author of Sex for One
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
Why would they be unreasonable? Aren't there many more women than men in countries like the Philippines, Ukraine, Russia, etc.? And in the Philippines, they are known to be super socially-connected, feminine, and open to all sexual orientations? And they tend to "go with the flow," rather than think deeply of the philosophy of how things work? And Winston said that he knew an expat who had multiple babies with multiple women, and the expat didn't support any of them. It seems that a man could create a polyamorous situation in the Philippines. That's what I want to do. I want to have multiple women who all live with me under one roof. I want to do this because I want to never experience oneitis again; so if one girl leaves me, I will have at least one girl left. Or, if one girl stops having sex with me, or treats me badly, I will easily be able to ignore her because I have other women. I don't want to date multiple women who live in multiple homes; I want to live all in one home and have everyone harmoniously cooperate together. I believe I can do this if I can find girls who do not use the internet, and do not eat any processed, unhealthy foods. And, I am pretty confident that all women are capable of being bisexual. I believe that women can be raised to feel completely comfortable with other women. I am not that confident about this though, but there was a study done which showed that women become sexually aroused when they watch straight porn, as well as female-on-female porn, but men generally don't work that way. I hope that study represents reality. I hope women can be brought up to enjoy each other, and enjoy one man together. If the man is a good man, and provides a home, food, etc. and a happy personality, and the women live in a location in the world where there are few good men, then it makes sense to me that I could achieve this goal. But I believe it will only be done if the girls do not have access to the internet, and do not have access to rich foods. Obviously the internet provides them access to men outside of their local area. But the food girls consume can influence their behavior. The highly stimulating foods of today stimulate the same part of the brain as sex does. Foods are drug-like in their effect on the body, but not nearly as powerful as drugs. But, they are somewhat powerful. Gliadorphin in wheat, casomorphin in dairy, the narcotic effect of sugar, women choosing chocolate over sex, the dopamine blast of caffeine, and processed, oily foods such as cookies, chips, etc. are used to placate a person's sexual desire somewhat; if they consumed only healthy foods, they would be much more socially-oriented, meaning, they would feel significantly more pleasure and joy and happiness being around people. Women will strive to please their man again. They will desire to cook and clean again, and they will feel happy doing it. Women will love being submissive and dominated by men, because they need to be, because they are not stimulating their brain with anything else. I believe I can cause multiple women to all cooperate in a spirit of harmony toward one common purpose...of being reproductive. They will "crave" to have sex and to give birth, and to nurture their babies. The more babies they have, the better they will feel, because that's what the body is designed to do. But they cannot stimulate themselves with today's food and today's technology. I believe this polyamory lifestyle is what most men want. But they settle for just one woman in America, and then they develop severe oneitis, and they let the woman control them. Then, when the woman leaves them, they have nothing. What men really need is to have multiple women all living under one roof and living harmoniously together, but no one talks about this. It's unthinkable, because women (just one woman by herself) are so difficult to deal with (in America and other "prosperous" countries). But in poorer countries, the women's standards are so low, because they don't need much to be happy. They are grateful for what they have. And they function better in groups, I think. I am also going to vlog every day myself and the women I live with doing what we do. The women are going to be cooking three meals a day, and having sex with me every day. I will show you how happy we all are, and I will teach you exactly how I achieved this lifestyle. I want to show that any man can achieve this. I want to inspire men to be men...to be able to be treated like The Man, ya know? Men should be able to be men, to be in charge of their home, and have sexual abundance so they don't have to care about what women say or do (oneitis). They won't worry about being alone, therefore, they can be themselves. How would it feel to be able to be your true self? To be your true sexual self? To express yourself how you want to women? To dominate women sexually? To be in charge all the time and always have things your way, because you pay the bills? And women should desire to be submissive, to please The Man. They should love to cook and clean. They should ask you if you want to be served a drink or something. They should want to be The Woman. They should wear feminine clothing. They should treat you like you are everything to her. And you will be, because she is not stimulating her brain with anything else. It makes sense to me.
Are you aware that your keyboard possesses an "Enter" or "Return" key? It would greatly behoove you to utilize it, as textwalls are difficult to read and proper formatting makes them much more likely to garner both a read and a response.
What I will say is that women generally are terrible at analyzing social dynamics, and tend to turn out some of the worst behavioral science research in the field. Any time I'm reading a study and find myself shaking my head at poor methodology, I find myself compelled to find out who the primary author is, it is almost always a woman. They're just terrible at objective social analysis in general.
Sez the guy who went and quoted the whole damn thing, thereby further polluting the thread. Anyway, Dan Cilley is a unique person with a unique way of approaching women and life in general. It's probably for the best that his unique message content has unique formatting.
I'd agree that women are lousy at analysis, but they got the right idea. The patriarchal system is dead. Women in developed countries don't NEED men, so they don't NEED marriage. They still want children, however, so the natural progression is back toward matrilineal society. not matriarchy, which means women rule, but matrilineal, which means children take their name from their mother rather than father. Men are sperm donors, sex toys and johns. Women raise the children with little interference from men.
In some cases, the sperm donor and sex toy and john are combined and there a long-term relationship of the woman with a single man. If the man supports one woman in this way, the result is similar to existing marriage but without the legal contract. If the man supports two families in this way, we get the traditional harem (polygyny form of polyamory).
In other cases, the man won't be able to afford to support a woman of his own and will have to share, which is similar to existing soft prostitution arrangements. Soft meaning long-term and with some degree emotional connection and mutual attraction. Compare with hard prostitution where the women has no long-term or emotional connection and usually no sexual attraction to the john. All forms of prostitution are effectively polyandry forms of polyamory.
Polyamory where the women doesn't get money from the man, which is what the women who wrote these books are babbling about, is a luxury for elite and elderly women and of little importance to society.
Dan, I really appreciate your contributions.
But kindly break up your posts into paragraphs of a few sentences each to make them more readable and easier on the eyes.
Your post from yesterday was already edited to insert paragraph breaks so refer to that as a rough guide.
I mean, his whole post, to me, reeks of a man who wants a harem of dependent sex slaves and nothing more. It's not a new nor original idea- every cult leader, Middle Eastern Prince, and early Mormon had the same idea. Get women dependent on you, force them into a situation in which you are the thing that gives the only meaning to their life, enjoy being worshipped like a god. I'm not down with that, personally, because I demand more from a woman than a robotic vagina life support system that exists only to please me. A woman is the yin to my yang- she must complement, improve, and complete me, not merely bend to my will and do as I say.
I am interested in what you have to say about polyamory, because you have so much experience abroad. Do you think it's possible? I have never been abroad. Do you think a man could attract multiple women to all cohabit in one home, and they would be happy doing so?
This is what I want. I don't care what anyone else has wanted. I have created this idea on my own, starting with my own desire. It's my own fantasy.
The women are not slaves; they want to have sex with me.
They love cooking and cleaning for me.
They won't be forced into doing anything. They can leave the family at any time.
They love me. I love them. And yes, we will be the main thing in each other's life. But that's what I believe in. I don't want to compete with chocolate for attention, or Justin Bieber. So that's why no one will ever eat chocolate (or other foods) or watch TV or have the internet. Why would it be bad to intentionally remove sources of "meaning" so that I am perceived as more important? How could eating chocolate be a good thing? Why would you defend chocolate so strongly? I am not addicted to chocolate, caffeine, etc....that's why it's easy for me to imagine living without it. I've gone for over 2 years eating almost only vegan whole foods before, so I know that it can be done, and you forget about how unhealthy foods taste. I was super lonely during that time though, because I did not have the unhealthy foods to comfort me, by stimulating the same part of the brain as sex does, but the loneliness you feel is supposed to motivate you to be social and sexual. Eating unhealthy foods damages the body. I am not happy damaging my body. In my fantasy, I am super sexual. I am utilizing 100% of my sexual potency. I am as strong as I can be, as energetic as I can be, my body is hard and masculine, my dick is as hard as possible, and I be all that I can be, and I am as happy as possible. And I am this way every day, and throughout my long life. I guess most people are happy damaging their body with unhealthy food, getting a soft dick, and not having sex, but not me. Maybe that's what happens when you get older; you prefer to eat rather than have sex. I don't want to do that. I want to be super physical throughout my life, and speaking through the TV like Jack Lalanne, but I am going to be having sex on camera every day, and speaking about how to live the best life possible. It is not going to be censored in any way. I teach exactly how to be happy, as a man. What should a man do in order to be happy? And I show myself doing it every day.
Why do you need to demand more from a woman? You feel guilty for living a simple life of eating healthy food with them, having sex with them, raising babies with them, and not much more? In my fantasy, they love their life with me. They have no complaints.
And, polyamory is advantageous because since there is more than one woman; only the ones who want to have sex with me have to have sex with me. My sex drive is higher than each woman's. So if I want to have sex 21 times per week, and I have 7 women, that means that each woman only has to have sex with me 3 times per week. So each woman is sexually satisfied, and not stressed to put out more than she wants to. This is way better than if I only had one woman who only wanted sex 3 times per week, but I wanted 3 times per day. Very frustrating. This fantasy's purpose is to solve every problem that could probably arise, and that I've already experienced.
The food they eat satisfies them and they have no cravings for anything more stimulating, because (ideally) they have never tried modern "foods" such as refined sugar, MSG, potato chips, etc.
The women do not bend to my will, unless they want to. I don't make them do anything they don't want to. At the beginning of meeting them, we agree that they will cook 3 meals per day, at the same times every day, and that they will clean the house, and have as many babies as possible. Everyone is happy. They are not stimulating their brain much, so they are very excited to be with me and participate in this lifestyle. If they had access to chocolate and alcohol and all the modern forms of stimulation, they wouldn't be excited though, and would act like spoiled (American) women. But because their brains are "clean" of stimulation, they feel a high amount of pleasure when doing their daily chores and when merely thinking about having sex with me. And then when they do get naked with me, they "go crazy" with pleasure. They love everything. They have no desire to change. Unhealthy people who eat ice cream and drink soda are probably the same way; it's just a trade-off. You can choose where to get your pleasure. I, and the women I have, choose human interaction as our stimulation, instead of toxic food and media. We don't damage our bodies. We believe this is the best life possible.
The Coolidge Effect shows that a male animal can orgasm with many different females in short succession, without any rest. In my fantasy, I live the Coolidge Effect every day. I only stop having sex when I am too tired to. Don't you think that is ideal? That is what I have, every day.
To those of you who have experience in the Philippines or other countries where it's easy to attract women,
How hard do you think it is going to be for me (or a man) to arrange a polyamorous family, as I have described?
Have you heard of polyamorous families who have one man and multiple women?
It seems impossible to me for this not to exist, in the Philippines, because the women are super family-oriented, and do not really question the status quo, and are happy and joyous to start with, and are poor, and have multiple babies on average. I am super-physical with women, with cuddling. I am also super talkative. So it makes sense that I could live with multiple women in one house, because I would be able to satisfy their cuddling requirements, and conversation requirements. Women complain about their man not talking to them...but that's not me. Women complain about their man not cuddling...that's not me. I give women everything they want, attention-wise. If they get their hands on a smartphone with internet access though, their brain will adapt to a higher form of attention...and then they will be "ruined." But that won't happen, because they women I meet will have no experience with computers, etc. so will have no feeling or need to start. I believe the internet has ruined women. It's like in the movie Back to the Future 3, when Doc says that the DeLorean "Must be destroyed" due to all the negative consequences of its use.
I don't even know where to begin with what is wrong with your ideas, but I'll just sum it up as "you feel like you can't compete with even food, display extreme signs of narcissism, completely lack self awareness, fail to understand even the most basic things about women, and clearly have deep seated insecurities that you are attempting to bury by finding external validation with women who are effectively deprived of anything enjoyable in life just to make you seem more exciting."
I've dated multiple women at once before- it isn't that hard. You make it both seem far more complicated than it is and fail to see many of the problems that always arise, but whatever. I'll let you try and establish your glorified sex cult and get back to us, let us know how it works out, because I guarantee it'll not go at all as planned.
Good job with the enter key btw, made your post much easier on the eyes.
Why is it bad to intentionally avoid foods which damage the body?
It may be narcissistic, but I will not be hurting anyone in the process. Everyone is going to be happy.
What are my insecurities? I am trying to do what males are biologically designed to do: be promiscuous. Contrary to me being insecure, I believe most men are insecure because they settle for one woman instead of going for poly. So you're saying that a healthy person will not feel a need to be promiscuous?
Your only metric that such foods "damage the body" is that they make you less appealing. It is in the idea that you feel threatened by any thing that might make you less appealing in any way to a woman that you come off as insecure. And also that you fail to understand that perhaps women are more complicated than walking vaginas that only need the most basic and tasteless of sustenance, minimal social interaction aside from that within the house, etc.
I already have plenty of women in my life, I don't need slaves for that. That you think you do speaks to some great insecurity within you, that you cannot keep a woman that is anything less than completely dependent upon you in every way.
I'm just trying to get people to love me. I think it would be great to have many women all in love with me. Imagining having many women at home all the time, and cooking and taking care of the babies makes me happy. I think that's the best way to live. A man could do drugs to feel happy, or eat unhealthy foods, or watch porn, smoke weed, etc...but the best life is one where the body does not get overstimulated and thrown out of balance (health).
Healthy food is not tasteless when you are used to it. In order to stay healthy, the women and I and the kids will need to eat basic foods. No MSG, refined sugar, oil, salt, etc. The brain adapts to the lower-stimulation lifestyle, and pleasure and happiness is experienced consistently, but "magically" (due to such a basic, low amount of stimulation). I think this is the best way to live.
When women are not exposed to high amounts of stimulation (foods, media, etc.) they enjoy the simple tasks of cooking, cleaning, etc. They are happy and grateful for what they have. They are at ease, and not bored. They enjoy the moment. I believe this is how to cause families to be functional instead of dysfunctional. When healthy and not overstimulated, being with people is very fun, and people are glad to be with each other.
The homemaker life of a woman, to the woman, feels great. They feel happy with it. They love themselves. They don't feel a need to have their own career outside the home in order to make more money. I believe when people are working together, such as when a man makes the money, and the woman takes care of the home, that is the best life possible. The woman should stay at home because she should have babies to take care of. And she should interact socially with her neighbors and relatives.
I believe people should be the happiest when they are most reproductive...the more healthy kids you have, the better. But nowadays, people have access to drugs and drug-like foods, and media, so the desire to have children is weaker than ever before.
Actually, having thought about it a bit, and having analyzed your posts, it's pretty clear you've got some degree of ASD. Which actually makes many of the things you are saying make sense for you- autistic individuals have difficulty with stimulation of any sort, and it would only be natural for you to assume that the same holds true for normal people. However, what I've been trying to tell you is that -for normal people- a baseline level of stimulation is required to keep them from going batshiat insane. You can have your fantasy about 28 kids and 5 wives and all that other BS, but, because you fail to understand how people work, it will always remain just that- a fantasy.
I think every man should be honest with himself and try to attract multiple women, rather than settling for one, if he truly feels that way. Just because polygamy and polyamory are so rare, doesn't mean they shouldn't be common. I am going to try to get people to achieve polyamory, just like I am.
I am attracting multiple women into one house. They all cook food at the same time every day, three times per day. We all cooperate together, in harmony. I love my life, because I get to have sex whenever I want, as much as I want, every day. And I feel secure knowing that if a girl somehow doesn't want to be a part of the family anymore, I can easily let her go. But I am going to protect against that, by taking 30 days to get to know each girl, before I have sex with her. Every day, for 30 days, I am going to ask her questions, over and over, the same questions, to see if she is serious about joining the family. She has to be happy all the time, for the entire 30 days. She has to be cheerful, honest, kind, loving, hospitable, respectful, giving, nurturing, appreciative, etc. This is the best life possible. I'm doing everything I can to guarantee I have a king-size bed with two girls on each side of me, who are all loving and playful and we are all working together toward one goal, to raise a huge family by having as many babies as possible, and everyone eats the healthiest foods, so we are always calm, stable, and loving. We grow fruits and vegetables on the property and feel super vibrant and alive every day, expressing ourselves all the time.
And how far have you made it toward your goals?