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Add a Rules and Etiquette thread

Postby LarryLaffer » Sat Aug 20, 2011 3:47 pm

Hi Winston,

I think it might be a good idea if you posted a Rules and Etiquette thread. I've seen too many instances of people being attacked for doing nothing more than simply asking a question. While I can understand that some members get angry when people ask questions before contributing to the forum I think it would be better if people were simply referred to a Rules and Etiquette thread when they do this rather than being attacked.

For example, look at this thread:

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=10957

The guy asking that question got attacked. What should have happened is he should have simply been told that he needs to contribute to the forum before asking questions. Now he hasn't returned. Also, this seems to upset other members. For example, look what one of our newer members, davewe, said about the situation:

davewe wrote:And while I am complaining here, when a new member asks an innocuous question like, "What are the women like in Timbuktu," he is smacked down as if he were asking for the NATO launch codes.

Clearly this forum is not the place for me. It's unfortunate. I really am seeking information.


So you see, by allowing such attacks, we are scaring away members.

In addition, I think that there are some who mistakenly think that they benefit from hoarding information. They think that it is bad to share information as this might hurt their chances abroad because they would have more competition. These people need to be shown how irrational this is. There are some 6-7 billion people on Earth. Even if we only count women in their twenties, there are some 500 million or so. Even if, by sharing information freely, another 1000 American men go abroad, and that is probably far more than would go as a result of this forum because we have less than 1000 members, this would be a drop in the bucket and would not substantially increase competition. 1000 compared to 500 million is tiny and insignificant. Sharing information freely should be encouraged because it will increase the quality of the content and information on this forum. Getting angry at others for giving away information is ridiculous.
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Postby Think Different » Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:56 pm

I agree that there are some people on here who feel it is their sole duty in life (apparently they have nothing else to do in life but sit on HA all day) to antagonize other members, put words in others' mouths, and piss people off. It shows a very low intellectual maturity and is one of the first things that will turn off a foreign woman. Americans already have a reputation around the world as being loud obnoxious know-it-alls and this sort of behavior just feeds that image. Personally, I don't think many people on here have the maturity to step beyond their own borders. But that's another story.

And while it's a good idea, a rules & etiquette section would do no good with most people. No one reads those things anyways, and the bad apples on here wouldn't adhere to it anyways. If Winston doesn't keep the attacks under control as a moderator no amount of rules and etiquette sections will help anything. Ultimately its a moderation problem. Winston tries to take the high road with this issue, but we've already lost some of our best, brightest, and most interesting and well-traveled people on here, due to idiots attacking them.

I've come close to leaving several times simply because it's a major drag having to sift through all that bullshit, but I stick around. I just come on here less often now and I ignore the little snipes that I've seen against me. I won't lower myself to that level or feed those peoples' anger. Obviously, they are angry with life and are perhaps already too poisoned by American "culture" to change or benefit from living abroad anyhow. Time will tell how long I'll stay here. I'm already enjoying my happier life abroad. I'm just here to help others in whatever way I can, if they want it. I don't need any aggravation or reminders of why I'm no longer in the US.
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Postby E_Irizarry » Sat Aug 20, 2011 7:59 pm

@Larry Laffer,

I like how you indirectly refer to me in the third person on this thread here.


@resilient virtuous men on this forum,

Larry Laffer seems like he's offering a hook, bait, and switch tactic here.

He wants to water down the "weeding out" process so dirtbags can come onto our forum, get free information, and go to those secret places and corrupt them. I had gone abroad and worked damn hard to save up money to go to some of those places off the beaten path.

If those off-the-beaten paths are revealed, then they will no longer become "off-the-beaten" path.
They would actually become "newly-amended-to-the-beaten" path of cities and countries.

Foreigners (like Italians trying to jack up the prices for getting p***y in the Dominican Republic)
and stupid hood n*gg*rs going to Rio and throwing money into the air hence making them think that
every American Black man is tricked out with a lot of money.

Not every man should know about those secret off-the-beaten-path places because not every man
will covertly enjoy himself there.

Some men would go to those places, brag about it, and then five years later, you decided
to go back there, thinking that the shit is still naive, laid-back and innocent - where as a matter of fact,
is now full of self-entitled women that expect you to shell out an exorbitant amount of money now,
and that those women are jaded because so many dirtbags corrupted and f***ed them over.

Men, go ahead and implement that rules & etiquette Anglo-Calvinist-morally-based western crap of thread here.

So, Larry Laffer, go ahead and ignore my posts. I cannot stand manginas like you that have no respect
for keeping intel information under quiet wraps.

Your tactic is coy and asinine. I do not like you, dude. Have a good life.

@Red Dog/Think Different,

You should be a bit more cognizant of dudes trying that stuff on us.
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

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Postby Winston » Sat Aug 20, 2011 9:40 pm

LarryLaffer,
I agree with everything you said and your analysis. I also did not know that there was an unspoken rule here that said that you had to contribute to the forum first before asking questions. lol I don't know where that rule came from.

If someone feels that way, and wants to hoard information, then that is their right, and they can simply ignore the question. But they should not try to make that an official rule here and impose it on others.

What's ironic is that the folks that are attacking others for asking questions, are themselves not even abroad. So how can it ruin it for them, when they are not even going abroad? lol

The rules and etiquette here are simple. Respect others, be tactful and courteous, and act civil. Emotional outbursts are ok, as long as people are not overtly hostile or antagonistic without proper cause. This means of course, that someone asking a genuine question should not be attacked for it. I agree with that.

But it appears that some people here don't want to follow such etiquette. What can we do? Start issuing more temporary bannings? You can't please everyone.

This forum has a lot of lurkers besides the 1000 members here, but even then, it's not going to ruin a dating market. Even if every guy in America went abroad, the US is only 5 percent of the world's population, so there'd still be plenty of countries that have not been spoiled.

Anyway, all I can do now is give warnings and issue temporary bans.

Would you like to be a moderator, LarryLaffer, so you can help give warnings and enforce etiquette and bans? I don't have time to moderate every discussion.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

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Postby well-informed » Sat Aug 20, 2011 11:13 pm

@ LarryLaffer

Because i'm in this thread that you posted i'm taking personal offense to what you said. Apparently you can't say what you want to say, so instead you say it in code. That's real brave of you

Nice little garbage you spewed in your little cute paragraph, but you forgot one little tiny yet important detail. Has heaven88 still responded back and said thank you or anything. Of course not because he is a troll, if he was genuine i think he would have more than 1 post by now. Hmm funny how that one post gives him all the credibility in the world in your eyes. So idk about you, but one thing i truly dislike are snitches and fakes like you. Also look at whats happen at Rio, Dominican Republic, etc. too many simps make women feel like god.

@ Winston

The unspoken rule is an unspoken rule by my book. The more involvement you have here, the more respect you get. I'm definitely taking Ladislav or Rock's advice more seriously than a new guy. Think about if you were the head of the company and you wanted to share valuable information about the company. Would you share it with the guy you hired last week or the guy that's been working with you the last 5 years? I think the answer is obvious
Lurkers or trolls, don't contribute much in the forum. If the member wants to stay genuinely he'll stay not because we scared them off.

Winston I PM you already
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Postby E_Irizarry » Sun Aug 21, 2011 12:50 am

@well-informed,

DR is not totally f***ed up - unlike Cancun de MX or PR. It's just not as simple as it was 10 to 15 years ago from what I heard. Why do you think so many Dominican women are mixed with Italian blood and look good-as-fuck?? A lot of Italian men were simping and pimping down there.

Mind you, you can go there in 2011, and get quality time from dimes with shell out next-to-nothing if your Spanish is bang-on. You did well when you had gone there in recent times..definitely better than what you have done up here in the boroughs.

Rio is not totally f***ed up, but it's not as naive as it was even 5 years ago. Good thing the realis is gaining 2nd-world status so that simps would rather go to the caribbean to get some arse rather than still go to Rio.

And that's why Rio is really the main city that westerners touch. Yeah you had westerners in other parts of Brazil but not enough to change the whole dynamic so that it's mad difficult to get something as simple as ass, coversation, and building permanent rapport with those chicks and their families and friends.

That's why I went batshit nutty on Heaven88 for trying to get information that would unleash his djinn race of simps onto rural Brazil. f**k that shit!
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

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Postby E_Irizarry » Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:30 am

Think Different wrote:I agree that there are some people on here who feel it is their sole duty in life (apparently they have nothing else to do in life but sit on HA all day) to antagonize other members, put words in others' mouths, and piss people off. It shows a very low intellectual maturity and is one of the first things that will turn off a foreign woman. Americans already have a reputation around the world as being loud obnoxious know-it-alls and this sort of behavior just feeds that image. Personally, I don't think many people on here have the maturity to step beyond their own borders. But that's another story.

And while it's a good idea, a rules & etiquette section would do no good with most people. No one reads those things anyways, and the bad apples on here wouldn't adhere to it anyways. If Winston doesn't keep the attacks under control as a moderator no amount of rules and etiquette sections will help anything. Ultimately its a moderation problem. Winston tries to take the high road with this issue, but we've already lost some of our best, brightest, and most interesting and well-traveled people on here, due to idiots attacking them.

I've come close to leaving several times simply because it's a major drag having to sift through all that bullshit, but I stick around. I just come on here less often now and I ignore the little snipes that I've seen against me. I won't lower myself to that level or feed those peoples' anger. Obviously, they are angry with life and are perhaps already too poisoned by American "culture" to change or benefit from living abroad anyhow. Time will tell how long I'll stay here. I'm already enjoying my happier life abroad. I'm just here to help others in whatever way I can, if they want it. I don't need any aggravation or reminders of why I'm no longer in the US.


Hey man. You already know I don't/havent' attacked you. I just want you to be vigilant of dudes that try to come here and swindle their way into our inner pit just to get what they want whilst it would hurt some of us future and current ex-patriates. I already had given respect in PMs before so please don't feel I'm one of these bull dogs that sit on HA all day although I do come here daily.

I mean, who wouldn't want to that is tired of how twisted and caustic America has become??

If you leave, at least PM your email addy so you and I can touch base with each other every now and then.
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

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Postby Winston » Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:33 am

well-informed, heaven88 hasn't responded back maybe cause you turned him off with your antagonistic attitude. But he responded to me by PM.

Sure I agree that some members here have earned more respect than others. But what does that have to do with you being antagonistic to new members who are asking genuine questions? These new members are not trying to compete with Rock or Ladislav, they are just asking questions, so why are you making this comparison?

Asking questions is how you learn things. Have you ever known a good manager who did not like his employees asking him genuine questions to improve themselves and their work?

Nor does it give you the right to make unspoken rules and impose them on others. If you don't like someone, then don't respond to him. You do not own this turf.

You are treating this like a clique. We are supposed to be compassionate guys helping others here, sharing info with each other, and validating each other in a world that doesn't understand or acknowledge our issues. We are supposed to be a support group that lends a compassionate helping hand to those who are suffering or frustrated or at the end of the rope, and offering constructive solutions, so we can give them new hope and meaning.

If you keep up this behavior, I'm going to have to impose a disciplinary ban on you. You'll leave me no choice, since you aren't listening to reason and you are creating a hostile environment here that is contrary to our mission and purpose.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby E_Irizarry » Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:49 am

Winston wrote:well-informed, heaven88 hasn't responded back maybe cause you turned him off with your antagonistic attitude. But he responded to me by PM.

Sure I agree that some members here have earned more respect than others. But what does that have to do with you being antagonistic to new members who are asking genuine questions? These new members are not trying to compete with Rock or Ladislav, they are just asking questions, so why are you making this comparison?

Asking questions is how you learn things. Have you ever known a good manager who did not like his employees asking him genuine questions to improve themselves and their work?

Nor does it give you the right to make unspoken rules and impose them on others. If you don't like someone, then don't respond to him. You do not own this turf.

You are treating this like a clique. We are supposed to be compassionate guys helping others here, sharing info with each other, and validating each other in a world that doesn't understand or acknowledge our issues. We are supposed to be a support group that lends a compassionate helping hand to those who are suffering or frustrated or at the end of the rope, and offering constructive solutions, so we can give them new hope and meaning.

If you keep up this behavior, I'm going to have to impose a disciplinary ban on you. You'll leave me no choice, since you aren't listening to reason and you are creating a hostile environment here that is contrary to our mission and purpose.


Actually, with all respect due to you Winston, I want to intervene. As of late, there have been too many newbies coming onto here asking some very very cointelpro sensitive information. I cannot help but to see a red flag and a penalty foul on the play.

These newbies don't seem like they are trying to compete with Rock or LadiSlav. Those aforementioned cats have my utmost respect. I learned invaluable paramount amounts of information from them but I am beginning to digress from the main point i want to make here.

Well-informed is not doing a disservice to H.A. He's just trying to make it a place where people actually are empathetic or genuinely sympathetic to our cause here. I am not feeling the security feature of this site because without logging on, you still can see all of this information, and better yet, becoming a member is free of charge.

Wouldn't that be enough reason to have some kind of "anti-virus software" type of dedicated members here that chase off the pendejos that would try to come here, to get their info, and to leave like it's nobody's business??!

I'm not in favor of you putting a temporary ban. Recognize how dedicated he is to this forum. I don't feel that he's here to kill time. If he is, he's got me bamboozled. However, and again, I feel he's dedicated. Even assholes like LinuxOnly too are dedicated (regardless of how I feel, at least he seems dedicated). See.
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

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Postby Jackal » Sun Aug 21, 2011 6:04 pm

Perhaps it should be a rule that a new member's first post should be in the Introductions subforum. Many other sites have that policy and this might appease the grumpier, long-time members here, as well as making it more obvious who the spammers and trolls are.

But I also agree that this shouldn't be like some retarded sports team with an initial hazing period.

It's wise to be suspicious of new members, but at the same time, we shouldn't be total assholes either.
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Postby LarryLaffer » Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:57 am

@ Think Different

Think Different wrote:I agree that there are some people on here who feel it is their sole duty in life (apparently they have nothing else to do in life but sit on HA all day) to antagonize other members, put words in others' mouths, and piss people off. It shows a very low intellectual maturity and is one of the first things that will turn off a foreign woman.


Very well said.

Think Different wrote:I've come close to leaving several times simply because it's a major drag having to sift through all that bullshit, but I stick around.


I'm trying to find a different forum that has the same theme (helping people move overseas to find love) because of how annoying the endless attacks are.


Think Different wrote:Winston tries to take the high road with this issue, but we've already lost some of our best, brightest, and most interesting and well-traveled people on here, due to idiots attacking them.


Right but then how is it the high road to let the forum bullies keep attacking? I mean, that would be like a city that had a mayor that instituted a policy of being very lenient and only giving warnings to criminals. Eventually, the city would just be taken over with violence and all the good people would move elsewhere.


@ Winston

Winston wrote:I agree with everything you said and your analysis. I also did not know that there was an unspoken rule here that said that you had to contribute to the forum first before asking questions. lol I don't know where that rule came from.


Well I do think it makes sense to create an expectation that if you are going to take from the forum (that is, request answers to questions) that you also give something back. The forum can only work if people are giving as well as taking.

Winston wrote:But it appears that some people here don't want to follow such etiquette. What can we do? Start issuing more temporary bannings? You can't please everyone.


Winston, you've got to be more strict with people. Remember in high school, the deans and others who were supposed to discipline people would almost always just let bullies go with warnings or minor punishment, right? Unless of course you were lucky enough to go to a rare school that actually punished bullies. Because of the leniency, the bullying continued, didn't it? By being too lenient, you are letting the forum bullies ruin your forum. Look at how some of the forum bullies attacked momopi and Sexter today. What if we lose them? Momopi posts some of the most useful information and I wouldn't be surprised if he just got sick of all of these attacks and left.

boycottamericanwomen wrote:
momopi wrote:
boycottamericanwomen wrote:Momopi and Sexter both share the same mangina attitudes. Maybe you can jerk each other off? Let's not turn this thread into a mangina-fest, as Sexter already attempted to do.


Specifically, which part or statement from my post above did you find disagreeable?


your cocksucking mangina attitude, sir. Now please get the f**k out of here, and take your Sexter friend with you. You both obviously cannot see the horrible reality of American women, which lends me to believe that neither of you have any real experience with American women.

SOURCE: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 9470#49470

Think about it this way, Winston. Lets say you owned a mall and some of the customers would wait at the entrance and attack people. Depending on whether or not they liked the look of the person, they would say things like this to some of the people who wanted to shop there:

well-informed wrote:Lol you have no hope troll, Why ask for something that specific one month after you joined. Hmmm, you must think we're really that dumb.

SOURCE: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 8115#48115


What do you think any reasonable businessman would do in that situation?


Winston wrote:Would you like to be a moderator, LarryLaffer, so you can help give warnings and enforce etiquette and bans? I don't have time to moderate every discussion.


I'll PM you about this. I would do so but only if certain conditions are met.


@ well-informed

well-informed wrote:Also look at whats happen at Rio, Dominican Republic, etc. too many simps make women feel like god.


You may want to ask other members of the forum, especially those who are experts in finance, the real reason why it is getting more difficult to succeed abroad. The real reason is both our declining prestige as well as the declining value of the dollar. You see that things are getting more difficult and think that the reason is because of increased competition from other expats. But that is not the real reason. A few hundred people from the HA website are not going to have any noticeable effect. That is not what is happening. Do you understand how tiny 300 or even 3000 is compared to the 500 million or so young women that live overseas is? That is like a few parts per million at the most.

The real reason is the fact that the value of the US dollar has been plummeting over the past several years, that is why things are harder than they used to be.

Look at what Contrarian Expatriate wrote in this post:

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:While you will certainly find women in that region more friendly, don't think that they are looking to find a rich American to latch onto in a pinch. The world's perception is no longer that Americans are rich, it is that we are ignorant of other cultures and economically depressed at the moment.

I suggest you travel to the regions of the world where you find the women attractive and expect to have to raise your game to pull the interest that you will want. These women are sophisticated, and if they are going to hook-up with a man who has devalued dollars, you will have to impress them beyond income and perceived wealth.

SOURCE: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 4253#34253


@ Jackal

Jackal wrote:Perhaps it should be a rule that a new member's first post should be in the Introductions subforum. Many other sites have that policy and this might appease the grumpier, long-time members here, as well as making it more obvious who the spammers and trolls are.


Maybe. But there are two problems with this:

1. Some people have introduced themselves only to be attacked because they didn't understand the purpose of this site. Like some black woman came on, not understanding that this site is for guys. Rather than simply explain that the site is for guys she was mercilessly attacked.

2. Who would want to introduce themselves when there are so many bullies on this forum. I know I sure as heck don't want to give out any more personal information than I have to. By introducing oneself, they reveal information about themselves and open themselves up to attack.

davewe wrote:I am a professional writer and it does annoy me that I cannot honestly write about my personal experience or ask a question without looking over my cyber shoulder. I will still post but perhaps more carefully.

SOURCE: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... 9055#49055

Like many new members the hostility on this forum makes him uncomfortable posting personal information.

.
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Postby Jackal » Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:53 pm

LarryLaffer wrote:2. Who would want to introduce themselves when there are so many bullies on this forum. I know I sure as heck don't want to give out any more personal information than I have to. By introducing oneself, they reveal information about themselves and open themselves up to attack.

Well, members will need to introduce themselves eventually. If they don't, a lot of members will just ask, "Who the f**k are you?" and get a bit hostile.

There's no need for a new member to reveal lots of personal information in his introduction. Just talking about which country he lives in, which countries he's interested in, why this site appeals to him, etc. is enough. He doesn't need to give his exact location and credit card numbers. Lol

If some members get too hostile for no reason, then it's up to Winston to deal with it. However, travelling abroad DOES require a thick skin, so if people get too upset about what stupid people say about them on the internet, then I doubt that they'd do so well overseas over the long-term.
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Postby Winston » Thu Sep 01, 2011 2:47 pm

Right now there are some weird feuds going on and polls run to ban members. It's getting out of hand.

They either have to stop, or I ban every feuding member for a few days to make them cool off. Or I make Larry Laffer a moderator and let him ban all the trouble-makers. He wants to wipe the board clean, he told me.

I'll have to give them an ultimatum and see what happens.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby Jackal » Thu Sep 01, 2011 9:58 pm

Winston wrote:Right now there are some weird feuds going on and polls run to ban members. It's getting out of hand.

They either have to stop, or I ban every feuding member for a few days to make them cool off. Or I make Larry Laffer a moderator and let him ban all the trouble-makers. He wants to wipe the board clean, he told me.

I'll have to give them an ultimatum and see what happens.

^This is the wisest post you've made in years, Winston. I, too, tire of these juvenile quarrels. They only scare intelligent, cultured people away from this forum.

Good luck with your "forum cleaning" efforts!
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