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Paying for dates

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Master
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Master » April 11th, 2018, 7:06 am

Yea... we got a lot of cheapskates here.

But when it comes to me I dont mind pay a whole month of dates and courtship even anting up luxuriously. Whatever it takes. Ive bedded some of the hottest girls these empty pocketers couldve ever dream of. Once I make up my mind theres nothing stopping me. Cheapasses around here mostly date grannies with moustaches think theyve gotten a goddess and with their roll coins play bingo.
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SteveUKR
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by SteveUKR » April 11th, 2018, 7:58 am

I think we should call you JohnDoeBigBoaster. You're probably like that other fella that came in here who claimed to know everything about Ukraine. Turns out he had never stepped foot out of America and was living in mommies basement. All the information he posted he gleaned from various websites.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Master » April 11th, 2018, 8:41 am

I think we should call you Steveurkelcuckold. You probably like the other wankers here that like to make retarded jokes and stick your shit head into other peoples business. Pathetic turd hurting cuz he aint getting shit.
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SteveUKR
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by SteveUKR » April 11th, 2018, 8:56 am

You have issues

flowerthief00
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by flowerthief00 » April 11th, 2018, 9:47 am

xtravel wrote:
April 11th, 2018, 6:37 am
Ffs, man up and pay for the date. And if you don't score by the 2nd date, man up and move on.
That's a form of sexism as well as gynocentrism. You say the man should pay for the date. You say "man up", but you don't say "woman up". Basically, a man has to pay for the privilege of even spending time with a woman.

Why are you saying such a thing? Is a man's time worth less than a woman's? Is the man himself of lesser value than the woman? Is the woman somehow incapable of paying for herself?

It would be one thing if there were laws in place keeping women out of the workplace. But in most places that isn't true, and in the Western world, if anything, it's almost more like the other way. Employers bend over backwards to get women in the workplace, sometimes allowing them privileges men don't get.

Yet when it comes to dates, men are supposed to "man up and pay"? Why? What is wrong with the woman paying her share?

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Master » April 11th, 2018, 9:55 am

Obviously.

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MrMan
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by MrMan » April 11th, 2018, 12:07 pm

flowerthief00 wrote:
April 11th, 2018, 9:47 am
xtravel wrote:
April 11th, 2018, 6:37 am
Ffs, man up and pay for the date. And if you don't score by the 2nd date, man up and move on.
That's a form of sexism as well as gynocentrism. You say the man should pay for the date. You say "man up", but you don't say "woman up". Basically, a man has to pay for the privilege of even spending time with a woman.

Why are you saying such a thing? Is a man's time worth less than a woman's? Is the man himself of lesser value than the woman? Is the woman somehow incapable of paying for herself?

It would be one thing if there were laws in place keeping women out of the workplace. But in most places that isn't true, and in the Western world, if anything, it's almost more like the other way. Employers bend over backwards to get women in the workplace, sometimes allowing them privileges men don't get.

Yet when it comes to dates, men are supposed to "man up and pay"? Why? What is wrong with the woman paying her share?
When I was dating my wife, she was a college student. Some working people made $50 to $100 a month. I could eat at a buffet at the mall for $2 and there were cheaper food options. I ate out all the time. When I started dating my wife, I took her out to eat and paid for it. A lot of men in the 'Happier Abroad' category, depending on where they go, have a lot more spending power than the woman.

I don't have a problem with the man as provider and the woman taking care of the home.

What is wrong with a little good sexism? Gender role differentiation is not inherently evil.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by flowerthief00 » April 12th, 2018, 9:20 am

MrMan wrote:
April 11th, 2018, 12:07 pm
When I was dating my wife, she was a college student. Some working people made $50 to $100 a month. I could eat at a buffet at the mall for $2 and there were cheaper food options. I ate out all the time. When I started dating my wife, I took her out to eat and paid for it. A lot of men in the 'Happier Abroad' category, depending on where they go, have a lot more spending power than the woman.

I don't have a problem with the man as provider and the woman taking care of the home.

What is wrong with a little good sexism? Gender role differentiation is not inherently evil.
If the woman really is taking care of the home then I don't have a problem with the man as provider either. If you are married or fully invested in each other to the best of your respective abilities, that's all well and good.

Providing on the first date? No. Most first dates don't lead to second dates. Most second dates don't lead to third dates. Chicks love to take the freebies and run without giving anything of herself at all, and the "men should pay!" mentality enables this behavior. Make her earn your provision by expecting some investment from her.

If you live in a place where buffets are really $2 (wow) that mitigates your dubious one-way investments, sure.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Zambales » April 12th, 2018, 9:37 am

Master

I think most of the guys on this thread are looking for a meaningful relationship not one that involves silent prostitution. There's a big difference. Picking up materialistic whores from bars or sugar daddy sites is no great achievement anyway because you're buying her.

If you want to boast, then fine, but at least do it when you've found a classy woman that likes you as a person and not an upgraded hooker who doesn't give two shits about you.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by SteveUKR » April 12th, 2018, 9:47 am

Zambales wrote:
April 12th, 2018, 9:37 am
Master

I think most of the guys on this thread are looking for a meaningful relationship not one that involves silent prostitution. There's a big difference. Picking up materialistic whores from bars or sugar daddy sites is no great achievement anyway because you're buying her.

If you want to boast, then fine, but at least do it when you've found a classy woman that likes you as a person and not an upgraded hooker who doesn't give two shits about you.
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MrMan
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by MrMan » April 15th, 2018, 12:36 am

flowerthief00 wrote:
April 12th, 2018, 9:20 am
MrMan wrote:
April 11th, 2018, 12:07 pm
When I was dating my wife, she was a college student. Some working people made $50 to $100 a month. I could eat at a buffet at the mall for $2 and there were cheaper food options. I ate out all the time. When I started dating my wife, I took her out to eat and paid for it. A lot of men in the 'Happier Abroad' category, depending on where they go, have a lot more spending power than the woman.

I don't have a problem with the man as provider and the woman taking care of the home.

What is wrong with a little good sexism? Gender role differentiation is not inherently evil.
If the woman really is taking care of the home then I don't have a problem with the man as provider either. If you are married or fully invested in each other to the best of your respective abilities, that's all well and good.

Providing on the first date? No. Most first dates don't lead to second dates. Most second dates don't lead to third dates. Chicks love to take the freebies and run without giving anything of herself at all, and the "men should pay!" mentality enables this behavior. Make her earn your provision by expecting some investment from her.

If you live in a place where buffets are really $2 (wow) that mitigates your dubious one-way investments, sure.
I would imagine the type of 'old fashioned girl' in the US who wants to be a stay-at-home mom and believes she should submit to her husband would want the man to pay. If that is the kind of girl you want, then not paying could prevent the second date from even occurring.

This is also the Happier Abroad board. Some countries still have some traditional ideas about male and female roles. I met my wife in Indonesia, and, while many women work, you don't hear a lot about gender equality. Maybe I'd hear about feminism once a year there. I met one Indonesian Chinese woman who described herself as a feminist during a conversation in which she lamented that a man she liked who was probably 50 (who hadn't shown interest in her beyond friendly greetings) had married a beautiful woman who looked to be about 30. Feminism is not a big part of the culture. In Indonesia, if you ask someone out to dinner, you pay. You invited, so you pay. That makes perfect sense.

Are you talking about asking a girl to go out with you to a restaurant, and after inviting her, you expect her to pay for it? How does that make sense? If she asked you out, it does make sense for her to pay. Men usually ask women out, so it makes sense from that perspective that the man usually pays for the first date.

Think about applying what you are talking about to a developing country like the Philippines or Indonesia, or even China. Or apply this to a lot of college students in the US. You ask a woman out to a restaurant that she would never eat at on her own because she just can't afford it. Then you ask her to pay for half? And you got her into that situation.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by flowerthief00 » April 15th, 2018, 4:38 am

I better take these one at a time.
MrMan wrote:
April 15th, 2018, 12:36 am
I would imagine the type of 'old fashioned girl' in the US who wants to be a stay-at-home mom and believes she should submit to her husband would want the man to pay. If that is the kind of girl you want, then not paying could prevent the second date from even occurring.
Not just her. They all seem to want the man to pay these days! That's the whole problem.

But you know what? Back when the practice of dating first got started in the last century, there wasn't this expectation that men have to pay. And I reckon there were a lot more old-fashioned girls back then. Yet dates still happened.

Women always want to be receiving more and more while giving less and less. Stop letting them define standards that inevitably come at the expense of men.
This is also the Happier Abroad board. Some countries still have some traditional ideas about male and female roles. I met my wife in Indonesia, and, while many women work, you don't hear a lot about gender equality. Maybe I'd hear about feminism once a year there. I met one Indonesian Chinese woman who described herself as a feminist during a conversation in which she lamented that a man she liked who was probably 50 (who hadn't shown interest in her beyond friendly greetings) had married a beautiful woman who looked to be about 30. Feminism is not a big part of the culture. In Indonesia, if you ask someone out to dinner, you pay. You invited, so you pay. That makes perfect sense.
Sort of touched on this earlier, but the less women are in the workforce, the more it may actually make some sense for men to pay their bills. If Feminism isn't big in Indonesia, that might be such a place. (I don't know much about Indonesian)

In Japan, which increasingly has some Feminism but not as much as the West, they compromise sort of along those lines. When the girl is young and poor the man typically pays for her on a date, but after she graduates and enters the workforce she typically pays for herself on a date.

Then, in the West where women have careers and Feminism is a Balrog-sized monster threatening to beat reason and moderation to a bloody pulp, men are still supposed to pay for women's dates? That does not make sense.
Are you talking about asking a girl to go out with you to a restaurant, and after inviting her, you expect her to pay for it? How does that make sense? If she asked you out, it does make sense for her to pay. Men usually ask women out, so it makes sense from that perspective that the man usually pays for the first date.
You do that with your male friends all the time, do you not?

As I said on the first page, a man should ask himself honestly, "Would I pay if it was my male friend?" If not, you are simping if you pay for her.
Think about applying what you are talking about to a developing country like the Philippines or Indonesia, or even China. Or apply this to a lot of college students in the US. You ask a woman out to a restaurant that she would never eat at on her own because she just can't afford it. Then you ask her to pay for half? And you got her into that situation.
All potential losses are mitigated somewhat when you take your mighty US Dollar to a place like the Philippines, Indonesia, or China, as I agreed earlier. Although that might be a common scenario for some Western Asiaphiles, it is NOT a common scenario for most men in most places throughout the world, let alone for men in the West, and my stance towards paying on dates is intended as general.

I'd also say that the problem in your example is taking the girl to a restaurant that is above her means. I gave some tips earlier on how to avoid an awkward moment when the bill comes up. Let her know in advance what kind of place you want to go to and about how much it will cost. If the restaurant (and, by extension, you) looks to be out of her league you can suggest a more affordable place.

You shouldn't be going on first or second dates to expensive restaurants anyway. Save that for a day in the future when she has shown serious investment in your relationship, should it come.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Master » April 18th, 2018, 4:01 am

Zambales wrote:
April 12th, 2018, 9:37 am
Master

I think most of the guys on this thread are looking for a meaningful relationship not one that involves silent prostitution. There's a big difference. Picking up materialistic whores from bars or sugar daddy sites is no great achievement anyway because you're buying her.

If you want to boast, then fine, but at least do it when you've found a classy woman that likes you as a person and not an upgraded hooker who doesn't give two shits about you.
I agree with you but most of the guys on this forum are whore mongers, sugar daddys.

Did you think I said we should use whores and boast about it?

All im saying is that i see nothing wrong with treating a girl.
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Zambales
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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Zambales » April 18th, 2018, 11:59 pm

Master wrote:
April 18th, 2018, 4:01 am
Zambales wrote:
April 12th, 2018, 9:37 am
Master

I think most of the guys on this thread are looking for a meaningful relationship not one that involves silent prostitution. There's a big difference. Picking up materialistic whores from bars or sugar daddy sites is no great achievement anyway because you're buying her.

If you want to boast, then fine, but at least do it when you've found a classy woman that likes you as a person and not an upgraded hooker who doesn't give two shits about you.
I agree with you but most of the guys on this forum are whore mongers, sugar daddys.

Did you think I said we should use whores and boast about it?

All im saying is that i see nothing wrong with treating a girl.

There isn't - so long as she doesn't take the piss.

It's your prerogative what you do and if you achieve your goal all the better. All I'm saying is that materialistic women are no great accomplishment.

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Re: Paying for dates

Post by Adama » April 20th, 2018, 3:54 am

Zambales wrote:
April 6th, 2018, 9:38 pm
Adama wrote:
April 6th, 2018, 1:47 am
I think you're all on the right track but possibly have the wrong goal in mind. The way I see it, many men here are looking at the short term goal of not getting scammed out of a few dollars. That is a fine goal, but it seems this is not the ideal goal.

The ideal goal is to eliminate the scammers, not simply to evade getting scammed on a date or a few dates. Because even if a man manages to evade getting scammed in dating, keep in mind that if the woman is a scammer, she has multiple other tricks up her sleeve. In other words, you haven't weeded out the scammer. You've just evaded one of her scams. You will still have a scammer on your hand possibly, you just prevented the opportunity. It is just that you managed to wiggle out of one scam, but she will have others or she will think of others, if she is a scammer.

It might actually be better to let things come and go as they will. Sit back, and let her show you her whole heart. What direction does she want to take things? Why? Because if she does what comes naturally, if she turns out to be a scammer, then you can simply eliminate her. Rather than evading a few small scams in the beginning only to get royally scammed much deeper later on.

Just like if you lend someone $100 which they've promised to pay it back. If they don't pay it back, you've only lost $100, but also they've revealed their level of integrity and character. Money comes and goes. It is the person who needs to be evaluated. So I wouldn't worry so much about having to pay extra. Your goal is to determine whether this is a woman of character for the long run, not is she going to run up the bill too high for me.
From my perspective the first date or the first couple of dates are just the preliminary round. Plenty more detective work and furrowing still to be done.

You're correct about women having multiple tricks up their sleeves but you also need to consider the ones who aren't or don't wish to be manipulative like the clingy types and the one's with a trolley load of baggage from a previous relationship for example. It's just not about weeding out the materialistic me, myself and I individuals but eliminating the other ones who wouldn't fit well into a relationship and also the females who don't embrace your personality. There has to be a fairly high dosage of chemistry between myself and a woman for my interest to withstand otherwise the attraction dribbles away quite quickly..
Naturally. I agree.
A good man is above pettiness. He is better than that.

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