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American comes up empty-handed in 10-year search for wife

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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American comes up empty-handed in 10-year search for wife

Postby Mr S » Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:22 pm

http://www.kyivpost.com/news/opinion/op ... il/105405/

American comes up empty-handed in 10-year search for Ukrainian wife

May 26 at 23:44 | Roger Wright

Roger Wright writes: Marriage agencies employ professional daters who have no desire to meet foreign men.

Let me set the table straight: I fully agree with everything Alexandra Matoshko wrote in the May 21, 2010, Kyiv Post (“Stereotypes as superficial as the men who make themâ€￾) about Ukrainian women and foreign men.

I do not seek a woman to be my wife who needs me or my lifestyle. I seek a woman who wants me for my qualities of character and deems my lifestyle and life goals to be compatible with hers. I am not remotely interested in a woman who is 20 or more years younger than I.


Four of the eight women with whom I had “qualityâ€￾ communications had no idea I existed. All their letters had been written by agency people. For more than 10 years, I have been seeking a quality Eastern European woman to be my wife. I have traveled to Ukraine six times and Belarus once to meet women with whom I had communicated and all said they were interested in marriage and we should meet. I have met eight women in Ukraine with whom I had communicated.

Four of the eight women with whom I had “qualityâ€￾ communications had no idea I existed. All their letters had been written by agency people. One of the women had prepared the “perfectâ€￾ week for my first visit to her.

In the first two hours with her, she insisted that I spend more money than I had expected to spend for the entire week, which was a liberal amount. It was obvious (body language and what she wrote was different than what happened) within those first hours she had no romantic interest in me. Not being a complete fool, I left.

I spent considerable time with three women (on different trips). Each convinced me they were the perfect match for me, even though only one allowed me to so much as kiss her on the lips. However, as soon as I returned to the United States, none of them wrote a single note, much less a letter, to me.

In every situation, the agencies strongly suggested I be introduced to other women for a fee, of course, when the woman of my choice was not interested in me or was not available to be with me.

Every additional woman I met was charming and interesting. With some of them, I had exchanged a few letters. With some of them, I truly felt a strong attraction. None of them remembered any previous communication with me and none of them were interested in any meaningful communication after I returned home.

One of the women works for a bank in Kyiv. She told me her best friend had gone to an agency and became a “professional daterâ€￾ to share the income and benefits from men spending money on her when visiting her.
One of them flatly said she had never written any letters to me and had not read any of my letters. Nonetheless, she said it was all right for the agency to scam men because life in Ukraine was difficult. This woman had three university degrees, including a law degree, and was probably the most intelligent person I have ever met.

One of the women works for a bank in Kyiv. She told me her best friend had gone to an agency and became a “professional daterâ€￾ to share the income and benefits from men spending money on her when visiting her.

The same woman told me her lovely daughter had been recruited by an agency to be a professional dater. In hindsight, I see she was telling me she was also a professional dater.

I have extensive documentation of the fraud that is being perpetuated by several agencies. I continued for all these years to use some of the agencies as I thought there has to be at least one Eastern European woman who truly seeks a high quality American man for a husband.

But, alas, I have not been able to find her. I suspect no quality Ukrainian woman would use an agency as all quality women in Ukraine know what a sham the agencies are. Is that true?

I see that several of these agencies advertise on the Kyiv Post website. Thus, it is quite counter-productive for you to investigate and report the fraud I am claiming. For the most part, the media in this country does not bite the hand that feeds them, no matter how corrupt they are.

I would not be surprised if you view the situation the same way. As Oksana said, life in Ukraine is difficult ... I have a scoop for you; life in the United States is also difficult.

Yes, of course, I have shared my frustration with all the agencies. Of course, all of them tell me that all 12,000 women listed with their agencies have certified they are seeking a foreign husband. Some of the women’s photos posted today were on the agency’s website ten years ago.

I attached a photo so you can see I am not a typical American overweight man. Likewise, I have no interest in the typical American woman. Love is not on their list of things American women seek in a marriage. Is it different in Ukraine?
I have no interest in the typical American woman. Love is not on their list of things American women seek in a marriage. Is it different in Ukraine?
Thanks for letting me vent my frustration that, after 10 years of dedicated searching, I cannot find one Eastern European woman seeking a quality foreign man.

Perhaps you know a better way to conduct a search for the one. I am certain your readers would find it interesting to read a human interest story of the life of a professional dater. I have a lot of tips for how they can be more successful.


Image
Roger Wright is an American living in Urbana, Ohio.

Read more: http://www.kyivpost.com/news/opinion/op ... z1O7XjH5bj
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor and stoic philosopher, 121-180 A.D.
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Postby ladislav » Thu Jun 02, 2011 2:36 pm

He should have gone with Elena's Models. Those are legit.
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Postby MarkDY » Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:42 am

I left Roger this advice:

"Roger, have your tried Latin America? It's in your own backyard. I have been to Costa Rica four times and Bogota once. I used LatinAmericanCupid to meet women. This is great site because if a woman likes you, you can get her personal contact information right away for no additional charge. I have many nice dates in both countries. I currently have three great female friends in Bogota. I also made many friends in Costa Rica. One friend said she knows many nice biligual women she can hook me up with next time I visit. I have a American friend who retired to Colombia. He met a 25 year old Colombia woman on-line, and she took a 10 hour bus trip to meet him! (and at her own expense)"
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Postby The_Hero_of_Men » Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:28 am

MarkDY wrote:I left Roger this advice:

"Roger, have your tried Latin America? It's in your own backyard. I have been to Costa Rica four times and Bogota once. I used LatinAmericanCupid to meet women. This is great site because if a woman likes you, you can get her personal contact information right away for no additional charge. I have many nice dates in both countries. I currently have three great female friends in Bogota. I also made many friends in Costa Rica. One friend said she knows many nice biligual women she can hook me up with next time I visit. I have a American friend who retired to Colombia. He met a 25 year old Colombia woman on-line, and she took a 10 hour bus trip to meet him! (and at her own expense)"


LatinAmericanCupid? Hmmm.... I wonder, how long would it take someone like me to find someone there...
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Postby ladislav » Fri Jun 03, 2011 6:35 am

My take on Ukraine- and I am from there- it is not easy to find a girl there-even many Ukrainian guys do not have a GF there. Every time I had one there, they would betray me or use me and many are just unfriendly. It is not Russia- there is no dreamy romantic "soul" in Ukraine and there are many good looking guys there, too. But if you dig deeper and look around, you can find some gals but you need to be there, learn the language and work your way into society. If you want to go the online route, doing it through Russian language sites is so much better.
Would the gentleman try Russia instead? Many more girls with much better hearts than the spoiled and arrogant Cossacks' daughters of Ukraine.
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Postby Jackal » Fri Jun 03, 2011 1:10 pm

^ Yeah, if he kept striking out in Ukraine, he should have tried some different countries. He said that he went to Belarus once, but somehow I that Belarus is more similar to Ukraine than say Slovakia would be.
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Postby Mr S » Fri Jun 03, 2011 4:04 pm

He probably just wants a white girl and isn't interested in brown Asians or Latinas...
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Postby E_Irizarry » Fri Jun 03, 2011 11:47 pm

Mr S wrote:He probably just wants a white girl and isn't interested in brown Asians or Latinas...


That could be very, very possible.
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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sat Jun 04, 2011 1:43 am

ladislav wrote:My take on Ukraine- and I am from there- it is not easy to find a girl there-even many Ukrainian guys do not have a GF there. Every time I had one there, they would betray me or use me and many are just unfriendly. It is not Russia- there is no dreamy romantic "soul" in Ukraine and there are many good looking guys there, too. But if you dig deeper and look around, you can find some gals but you need to be there, learn the language and work your way into society. If you want to go the online route, doing it through Russian language sites is so much better.
Would the gentleman try Russia instead? Many more girls with much better hearts than the spoiled and arrogant Cossacks' daughters of Ukraine.



Hmm, really. I almost fell for a Ukrainian woman. She was married, however.
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Postby Adama » Sat Jun 04, 2011 6:01 am

ladislav wrote:My take on Ukraine- and I am from there- it is not easy to find a girl there-even many Ukrainian guys do not have a GF there. Every time I had one there, they would betray me or use me and many are just unfriendly. It is not Russia- there is no dreamy romantic "soul" in Ukraine and there are many good looking guys there, too. But if you dig deeper and look around, you can find some gals but you need to be there, learn the language and work your way into society. If you want to go the online route, doing it through Russian language sites is so much better.
Would the gentleman try Russia instead? Many more girls with much better hearts than the spoiled and arrogant Cossacks' daughters of Ukraine.


Aren't there two kinds of Ukrainians though? The Russians on the Russian side of Ukraine and the true ethnic Ukrainians on the other side? If so, which do you mean? And which are the Cossacks' daughters? Both types are equally bad?

Jackal wrote:^ Yeah, if he kept striking out in Ukraine, he should have tried some different countries. He said that he went to Belarus once, but somehow I that Belarus is more similar to Ukraine than say Slovakia would be.


Serious! Durrr.

The man is insane. By definition.
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Postby have2fly » Mon Jun 06, 2011 6:00 pm

I disagree with Ladislav on that one. Especially on Cossack note, lol :) Ukrainian and Russian girls are almost the same, Adama got it right. Like Canadian and U.S., but even closer for a Western-minded person.

Rumors in Ukraine tend to say that Russian wives are lazy and don't cook well :) Russian men themselves prefer "silly energetic Ukrainian girls, who take care of everything". Now those are all stereotypes, not that they are totally false, there is some truth to them, but they are definitely not a rule.

As I compare girls from Russia and Ukraine - hands down - Ukrainian girls are the best looking. However you have to understand that dating is a BUSINESS, like a car dealership or fast-food chain - they need PROFIT, that's all they care about. Therefore, this type of business attracts women that are not even looking for marriage, but rather want free gifts and drinks from you when you come to visit.

For example, I get letters every day from dating agency called Army-of-Brides.com. It has a name of the girl and her city, that way I was able to lookup those girls on Russian facebook :) So I wrote to many of them (about 50) using Russian facebook and only 2 girls responded, only 1 of them was serious and is currently on exchange program in Mexico. She said she never wrote me any letters and asked agency to delete her profile. Needless to say, I found a profile of one of the girls who wrote me to be married to a Ukrainian guy and have kids! :))) LOL, I wrote her a few words in Russian laughing at this situation, she did not respond anything. But her profile was open and she had many pictures of them together with kids looking like a happy family.

I DO, however, agree with Ladislav that the ONLY way to find a good girl is to GO to Ukraine by yourself and spend some time with the girl. Take a long vacation, find a job there, relocate, spend a few vacations in Turkey etc. It is VERY important and it is the only way to do it in my opinion. For me being native Ukrainian I can differentiate fake from real pretty quickly, sometimes it takes 2-3 dates. But for you guys it may never be visible.

I don't use paid dating websites, however Winston's website seemed to have real girls there.
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Postby MarkDY » Fri Jun 10, 2011 4:27 am

Mr S wrote:He probably just wants a white girl and isn't interested in brown Asians or Latinas...


There a plenty of white women in Latin America. Argentina is more whiter then many counties in Western Europe.
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Re: American comes up empty-handed in 10-year search for wif

Postby Zambales » Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:26 pm

Didn't it occur to him at anytime during those ten years that there are other ways of doing things?

I bet those agencies were laughing all the way to the bank with this sucker.
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Re:

Postby Hero » Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:44 pm

ladislav wrote:He should have gone with Elena's Models. Those are legit.


Ukrainedate.com is also legit.
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Re:

Postby Hero » Sat Aug 27, 2016 11:46 pm

Adama wrote:The man is insane. By definition.


Either that or just plain stupid. I feel sorry for the guy but I also want to slap some sense into him. I mean, he put up with TEN FREAKIN' YEARS of this B.S.?? No Ukrainian woman is worth that amount of trouble.
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