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What if you're not "happier abroad"?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby pete98146 » Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:33 pm

ladislav wrote:A quick note- you will be more fulfilled if you use your money to do something in the local community when you go there. The best times of my life were when I was in India buying books for the local school.
You will never be fully happy if you only think about yourself. As in NEVER.
See how you can contribute to the place where you live to change people's lives there.
Just be aware of scammers and those who prey on your compassion to relieve you of your cash.


As always, Lad hits it out of the park. First time I ever went to Asia, I was sitting next to this guy in his early 60s. He used to live over on the Washington coast. His wife left him and his kids graduated and moved out. So he sold his 4000 sq foot home, packed his bags and went to live with in Saigon with the lady he met online.

Sounds as if he had a little bit of cash stored up. Anyways he bought another big house and he started taking in orphans. He said he houses a dozen orphans and raises them. Said he had never been happier in his entire life. If you give...it will always come back tenfold.
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Postby Think Different » Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:54 pm

pete98146 wrote:
ladislav wrote:A quick note- you will be more fulfilled if you use your money to do something in the local community when you go there. The best times of my life were when I was in India buying books for the local school.
You will never be fully happy if you only think about yourself. As in NEVER.
See how you can contribute to the place where you live to change people's lives there.
Just be aware of scammers and those who prey on your compassion to relieve you of your cash.


As always, Lad hits it out of the park. First time I ever went to Asia, I was sitting next to this guy in his early 60s. He used to live over on the Washington coast. His wife left him and his kids graduated and moved out. So he sold his 4000 sq foot home, packed his bags and went to live with in Saigon with the lady he met online.

Sounds as if he had a little bit of cash stored up. Anyways he bought another big house and he started taking in orphans. He said he houses a dozen orphans and raises them. Said he had never been happier in his entire life. If you give...it will always come back tenfold.


Best comments I've seen on this forum in ages. Good to see some people here still have a heart.
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Postby lookin4happiness » Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:08 pm

No shit.. There will probably be scientific evidence one day to prove in fact that altruistic people are more happy. Actually there is a study that showed that people who think of "I" more often are more likely to have heart attacks! So that does give credence to the fact that being selfish only is a negative factor and is not a cause of happiness.
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Postby davewe » Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:21 pm

emh wrote:I've also been thinking about the last place I tried to settle down which was Lima, Peru. I was thinking about how other people reacted to the city. Just some examples:

1) There was this American female who married a local and spent 5-6 years living in Lima. She absolutely hated it. Eventually she was able to get a job in Korea and she's much happier.

2) On the other hand, I met an Australian hostel owner who absolutely loves Lima.

3) Same for a guy from Canada. He works from home and speaks a lot less spanish then I do. And yet he seems really content in Lima.

4) I knew this girl from Germany who came to Lima to volunteer. At first, she absolutely hated Lima. But her last week there, she met a local guy and fell in love. Now she can't wait to go back so she can be with him. By the end she was really enjoying Lima.

So what do I take from this? The first person tells me that sometimes you just have to be in the "right place". The second and third person tell me that attitude matters. The fourth person tells me that if you meet the right person your perception of a place can change.

So I think part of my problem adapting was probably having a "bad attitude". Part of it might have been not meeting the right person for me, someone whom I'd be willing to stay for. Finally, it's also possible that I just wasn't in the right place for me.


This is a very good analysis. Attitude is so much of the success to traveling or relocating. And as Taco mentioned, being self-aware is of paramount importance. What do you like/dislike, what problems can you live with, which are deal breakers. Based on your posts I feel confident that you will work it out.
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Postby davewe » Wed Feb 08, 2012 9:22 pm

Think Different wrote:
pete98146 wrote:
ladislav wrote:A quick note- you will be more fulfilled if you use your money to do something in the local community when you go there. The best times of my life were when I was in India buying books for the local school.
You will never be fully happy if you only think about yourself. As in NEVER.
See how you can contribute to the place where you live to change people's lives there.
Just be aware of scammers and those who prey on your compassion to relieve you of your cash.


As always, Lad hits it out of the park. First time I ever went to Asia, I was sitting next to this guy in his early 60s. He used to live over on the Washington coast. His wife left him and his kids graduated and moved out. So he sold his 4000 sq foot home, packed his bags and went to live with in Saigon with the lady he met online.

Sounds as if he had a little bit of cash stored up. Anyways he bought another big house and he started taking in orphans. He said he houses a dozen orphans and raises them. Said he had never been happier in his entire life. If you give...it will always come back tenfold.


Best comments I've seen on this forum in ages. Good to see some people here still have a heart.


+1

Good job Lad and Pete!
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Postby emh » Fri Feb 10, 2012 4:58 am

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:I'm not sure why you chose those three countries, but you did not choose well.

I've extensive experience in Peru and Colombia they are grossly over-hyped when I compare them to other regions of the world. Guys tend to gush about them because they can get lucky there, but big whup. Local conquests does not an new home make.

The Philippines is a place I have not been, BUT some love it there and some hate it there.

In my opinion, you need to start from square one and choose better locations based on research and your own personal experiences. Get out in the larger world and explore until you find the vibe that suits you.


Interesting perspective and one that might have some validity. Basically I chose those three countries due to there being less of a language barrier - obviously they speak decent english in the philippines and my spanish is decent so colombia and peru are easier for me than some other places. But I never really felt any connection with the places I chose.
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Postby emh » Fri Feb 10, 2012 5:00 am

davewe wrote:
emh wrote:I've also been thinking about the last place I tried to settle down which was Lima, Peru. I was thinking about how other people reacted to the city. Just some examples:

1) There was this American female who married a local and spent 5-6 years living in Lima. She absolutely hated it. Eventually she was able to get a job in Korea and she's much happier.

2) On the other hand, I met an Australian hostel owner who absolutely loves Lima.

3) Same for a guy from Canada. He works from home and speaks a lot less spanish then I do. And yet he seems really content in Lima.

4) I knew this girl from Germany who came to Lima to volunteer. At first, she absolutely hated Lima. But her last week there, she met a local guy and fell in love. Now she can't wait to go back so she can be with him. By the end she was really enjoying Lima.

So what do I take from this? The first person tells me that sometimes you just have to be in the "right place". The second and third person tell me that attitude matters. The fourth person tells me that if you meet the right person your perception of a place can change.

So I think part of my problem adapting was probably having a "bad attitude". Part of it might have been not meeting the right person for me, someone whom I'd be willing to stay for. Finally, it's also possible that I just wasn't in the right place for me.


This is a very good analysis. Attitude is so much of the success to traveling or relocating. And as Taco mentioned, being self-aware is of paramount importance. What do you like/dislike, what problems can you live with, which are deal breakers. Based on your posts I feel confident that you will work it out.


Thanks man I appreciate the positive input.
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Posts: 93
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