American men and do they really want to be treated nicely.

[Bijou]

Hello guys, I am a “happier abroadâ€￾ eastern European woman who lives in US.
I wanted to share my story, because after I had an American boyfriend I got disappointed and started question myself…

Here is some history:
I moved to US to marry because I had a good impression from the Americans.
The American men I work with or interact are very well behaved, educated, intelligent, smart, logical, respectful, very handsome, sexy, willing to marry a woman and to take care of family, responsible – just dream guys!!! These are the qualities I am looking for.
But all these guys are married with or without kids, or divorced with kids, or a lot older than me, or engaged. And I am not interested to date men with kids or a lot older because I want to build a family from scratch. To do that, we need to have great compatibility which means similar likes, both on the same page, no other people involved on our relationship and of course last but not least Good sex.

Now, the single American guys my age are different story….. I am 26 years old so I am talking about guys with age between 27 and 39. Big part of them don’t want commitments, many of them are extremely immature which is a big turn off for me, some of them kind of feminine which scares me.

So I managed to find a guy who seemed to have the good qualities….
39 year’s old, handsome as hell, no kids, no wives, no divorces, looking for girlfriend, engineer, and unbelievable sex compatibility from the beginning…. I was very proud of myself, I felt content to have him.
I asked myself “Why this 39 years old Treasure is not married yet?â€￾ but he was so cute that I ignored all my inner red flags and jumped into the love.

In the beginning of our relationship I wanted to make some sexy “get to knowâ€￾ trips to Miami or other place where we can be alone romantically. All the trips he considered were to go visit his sister, mom, cousins. He was all into maximizing his time with his “familyâ€￾ and most of the time when they were around I was forgotten or treated as a “visitorâ€￾ not as girlfriend.
He liked to spend his weekends doing his favorite golfing and Steeler games and he would never miss any of them in order to make more time for me. I would’ve try golf if this was not a men only activity.

We never became friends because he didn’t wanted to talk to me for his life, his views, his likes, plans – stuff that make people close. He never really committed to this relationship – mentally. At the same time he told me that we have a great connection and that he only had one other girl with chemistry like ours but thay was not a real relationship because she was is another state, got married, and wanted an affair. He loved that I am very affectionate, taking care of myself, have a good job. He loved that I am good girlfriend I have my friends and life. But I was concerned that in this relationship we do our stuff separately, and this is not how you build team, friendship, love and family…

The worst part came when he got lazy. Imagine: On Saturday night, I am declining a great invite for party in order to spend a night with him. We watch 3 hour long movie, in the middle of the movie I got bored and put a red sateen robe with nothing under in order to seduce him a little bit. After 15 minutes of me teasing him, he looked me in the eyes and asked me: “Honey aren’t we going to watch the movie?â€￾ Really?? People stop us on the street and congratulate him that he has a Very beautiful girlfriend and he loves that!! His friends are teasing him to watch out because he is dating a Bond girl. And he wants to watch his movie and leave me unsatisfied??! We started having sex once a week because we don’t see each other I have busy work and he has to go to the gym, Steeler games, tail gate parties and every other week mom or sis are in town…

I suggested meeting him only on the weekends because he was keeping me awake when I needed sleep. Attention: He kept me awake not with love but with……sorry to say that – Farding. I was begging him to stop because it’s a turn off – no effect, he got lazy and comfy, a complete disaster….

8 months I was trying to understand where the problem is. Was it because of our cultural differences, was it because he is serious, is it the city – There are many lame single man in Pittsburgh who live with their parents and don’t need real commitment…Is it because he was cathlic and I am not?

Many other things happened and I realized that I need to find a better man.
We broke up before Christmas because he had plans to spend his holiday with his family in FL, his mom booked a condo and guess what - I was not part of the plan. After he told me about the arrangement he invited me, of course, but it was that “You can come if you want, but my mom got this condo….â€￾ I couldn’t believe this is happening to me….I took the plane and went straight to my parent’s house 11000 miles away from US

All I am asking myself now is: Are all the Americans so selfish and careless, uncommitable and lazy? Where should I search for a quality guys? Why am I attracting lame idiots…

What do I have to do to find a good smart man around 30 who is looking for a real girlfriend and who want to have his own family, he needs to be a Manager because I want him to have natural capability and skills to lead and plan his life not only to boss me around or expect me to be the active part of this relationship.

Thank you for reading.
Y.

[Taco]

[Simoun]

I don't know if I would consider that an American man thing or just that particular man thing. Sorry that happened.

[Bijou]

No honey, that's the reality.

[zboy1]

Where do you live? Are you single right now? Maybe you need to move to another state where you can find better men around. I'm single myself.

[Bijou]

Where do you live? Are you single right now? Maybe you need to move to another state where you can find better men around. I'm single myself.

I am in Pittsburg PA and already considering to move to DC or Miami. But my work keeps me here I am stuck. Where do you live?

[E_Irizarry]

@zboy1,

Don't simp yourself over Bijou newbie. There's nothing wrong with jerking off while watching XVideos or YouJizz or XHamster until you leave America.

It's must cheaper in the long run.

[The_Hero_of_Men]

@zboy1,

Don't simp yourself over Bijou newbie. There's nothing wrong with jerking off while watching XVideos or YouJizz or XHamster until you leave America.

It's must cheaper in the long run.

I hope you mean that. If I told you that I did something like that while watching those movies, would you condemn me?

[davewe]

[have2fly]

All I am asking myself now is: Are all the Americans so selfish and careless, uncommitable and lazy? Where should I search for a quality guys? Why am I attracting lame idiots…

What do I have to do to find a good smart man around 30 who is looking for a real girlfriend and who want to have his own family, he needs to be a Manager because I want him to have natural capability and skills to lead and plan his life not only to boss me around or expect me to be the active part of this relationship.

Thank you for reading.
Y.

Ah! I heard these stories SO MANY TIMES! Russian/FSU girls are SICK and TIRED of LAME American men! I know DOZENS of girls just like you! I am Eastern European myself, just a bit older than you. Sorry, Miami or any other city isn't much better. Miami is all about show off, expensive cars and fake nightlife. This is America! You will not find social connection here, no way! Eastern European girls are lying when they are saying they are happy with Americans. I know it very well, I have a few friends that do divorce for international couples. There are so many perverts and retards among American men, it's crazy! The only "true" happy couples are usually those that have an American men that actually LIVED abroad for a while! Usually those men are more open and honest and understand "the other way" of handling a relationship. Most American men that bring girls to the U.S. are simply users that want to save money on hookers, house maids and restaurants. Sorry, but it is true!

So in reality, the society is to blame! No one gives a shit about anyone in America. People are closed off, there is no trust. Why do you think this guy never shared anything with you? He did not care about you! Just because he is a smart American guy, he was using you and he never planned to be serious with you from the start. That's why he is 39 and single! You see, his mistake was that he did not know YOU are different, he just DOES NOT trust anyone in this life (or say, in this country). This is the only way to successful life in America, stay single and take advantage of other people! It completely INSANE and INHUMANE because when you don't trust anyone, you go crazy! You feel lonely as f**k!

On the other hand, I always tell my girl friends that I am looking for a friend! That exact same thing you wanted - I am looking for the same thing! And I can't find it with American girls, but unfortunately American guys are no better! We are the enlightened ones here. Average Joe will enjoy his pizza with Bud Light and dream of buying a new Dodge truck. "Rich pretty boys" that are single and mature will not be available in America, they are too smart to commit, remember that.

Why do you need a "manager"? You really think his job matters so much? Management is probably the worst occupation I can think of, those people have no life, they have to watch after so many other idiots running around at work. And you really think managers lead a better lifestyle? LOL You are not in Europe any more, in America they put stupidest f***s as managers very often. I was lucky to have good managers, but I mostly worked very decent jobs here. My friends were not as lucky as I was.

In addition, what did you expect? That you find a guy who is mature, single, older, rich, and good looking? Why didn't you look for a fellow East European? What country are you originally from?

You want to hang out sometime?

[Jackal]

Bijou, the next question you should ask yourself is "Do YOU really want to be treated nicely"? There's practicially an army of single men in American, yet you chose the one who treated you like dirt and farted all over you! Lol

But yeah, few American men respect foreign women as equals, unless the women are from another English-speaking country, such as the UK. Most American men see foreign women as temporary playthings at best and later will find a "respectable" (cunty, bitchy, rude, etc.) American woman to settle down with who they can feel their American friends and family members will approve of (remember conformity comes first in America!).

And maybe you should expand your search to include men who are not managers, such as scientists and engineers. If you keep chasing the same type of man, you are likely to just get farted on again! lol But if you're like most westernized women, you would rather have your dream man fart on you than give a less-important man the time of day!

[E_Irizarry]

@zboy1,

Don't simp yourself over Bijou newbie. There's nothing wrong with jerking off while watching XVideos or YouJizz or XHamster until you leave America.

It's must cheaper in the long run.

I hope you mean that. If I told you that I did something like that while watching those movies, would you condemn me?

I would only condemn you if you were to try to come onto me by overtly mentioning that you jerk-off by watching those movies. Just don't holler at women on this site.
I used to do that when I was over at NiceGuys, but I had to wake up.

[davewe]

Bijou, the next question you should ask yourself is "Do YOU really want to be treated nicely"? There's practicially an army of single men in American, yet you chose the one who treated you like dirt and farted all over you! Lol

But yeah, few American men respect foreign women as equals, unless the women are from another English-speaking country, such as the UK. Most American men see foreign women as temporary playthings at best and later will find a "respectable" (cunty, bitchy, rude, etc.) American woman to settle down with who they can feel their American friends and family members will approve of (remember conformity comes first in America!).

And maybe you should expand your search to include men who are not managers, such as scientists and engineers. If you keep chasing the same type of man, you are likely to just get farted on again! lol But if you're like most westernized women, you would rather have your dream man fart on you than give a less-important man the time of day!

I certainly read her description differently than you did. Of course neither of us was there so who knows but I read nothing that sounded like he "treated her like dirt". It sounded to me more like he was not ready to make the permanent commitment she desired. For him maybe she was just a gf and not an LTR - who can say.

But I will say that she displayed some distinctive AW traits; trying to get him to give up what he liked in order to pay more attention to her and to give her that attention immediately. It sounded to me like she is well on her way to becoming Americanized, but again who can say.

OTOH, I posed this scenario to my current foreign gf who laughed and expressed the opinion that maybe the girl was not seductive enough and that if she was, certainly he would have paused what he was doing. I asked her if she thought it was OK for her to try to stop me in the middle of a movie or football game and she said of course, that as long as she was seductive enough than I should stop what I was doing to attend to her needs. I said, "wait a minute, let's reverse the scenario. What if you were doing something that you enjoyed and I asked you to stop in the middle to give me sex. Would that be fair?" Why not," she said. "If you were seductive enough, I would stop. That's up to you!"

Frankly, as an American twice married to AW, I never had this problem. Neither wife ever tried to have sex in the middle of a football game or movie. And neither spent much time trying to seduce me.

Finally I agreed with my girl, telling her that she was certainly seductive enough to get me to stop my movie or football game. Thank god for Tivo!

[Bijou]

Listen Davewe, some people need more some people need less. Maybe my guy needed entire program to make him wanting me. Some guys need just to see you with the red robe and are ready.
The point is that if my man show me he want me I will immediately take care of him because it looks like he needs it and since I am his girlfriend it is my duty to satisfacty him. Otherwise he will feel that something is missing and will search for it somewhere else.

I make him the center of the universe when I make him my boyfriend and expect the same from him.

The movie we were watching was not "Stealers" it was just a movie and if you think that some fantasy thriler is more important than making nice than you are the same lazy old fard as my ex.

As fas as the farding. We all know that you guys eventually will start farding one day but that shouldn't be the beginning of the relationship. Month#1
I never had a man to fard in front of me, I had older and younger bfs, but no one felt that comfortable with me.

[Bijou]

Jackal,
Yes I have been treated nicely before /maybe a little too nice/ and that's why I have expectations. You guys are great on the surface but you don't commit which is the most important for the relationship. It's not normal to live like a teenager when you are 30+.

It's not normal to have your mom and your happily married sister for more important than the woman you eventually will get married to. He was thinking for marriage because he knew he is 39, if he was not so slow he probably would've marry me but by the time he asked me to move in with him I was already ready to run.

This is why I am no longer with the man. I did not selected him because he is lame believe me. He was the best single guy in Pittsburgh.

Let me ask you something guys:

How many times a week do you call your moms?

And

Do you ever call your moms after sex?