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How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with me?

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How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with me?

Postby Voice of Reason » Sat Jul 07, 2012 6:29 am

I'm in Malaysia at the moment at Malacca, and there is this pretty woman at the mall who I believe could be flirting with me.

I went into a stall to look at the bags (I need a new bag) and as I left she yells out "Hi!" to me. The next day I walked past again, and she made eye contact with me and I nodded and smiled. Then her and the other girls with her started laughing and speaking in Malay.

This is only my second week in SE Asia, and I am totally not used to this! I'm not sure what to do! This sort of thing never happens back home in Australia…this is a new situation to me. And living in the west hasn't exactly given me much self-confidence when it comes to approaching women.

I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?

Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!
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Postby CerealKiller » Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:51 am

Voice of Reason,

Sounds like you've got a good thing going on down there in Malaysia. I've met quite a few Malays here in SE Asia, and I find their personalities refreshing after spending an extended period of time in East Asia.

Now I'm not one to spoon-feed people, but as for your question there... just stand and deliver mate. Don't worry about it! It's not as if she's going to bite.

Are you still in Malaysia, or have you gone elsewhere? Would be interesting to hear how things worked out for ya over there.
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Postby Taco » Mon Aug 27, 2012 5:45 am

Just introduce yourself and tell her your looking for a good restaurant for lunch. Ask her if she wants to join you, she'll be delighted by your offer. There no awkwardness when asking Asian women on a date, that's strictly a product of western culture.

I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.
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Postby Jester » Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:11 am

Taco wrote:I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.


:idea: :twisted: :wink:
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Postby CerealKiller » Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:48 am

Taco wrote:I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime.


Now if only Winston were to discover the Philippines...

Oh wait. He already has. That's where his illegitimate son and mother of said son live! :shock:
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Re: How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with

Postby momopi » Tue Aug 28, 2012 4:54 am

Voice of Reason wrote:I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?
Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!


Malaysian and English are compulsory in school. Those attending ethnic schools also learn Chinese or Tamil.

If she is Muslim, be aware that you're opening a large can of worms.
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Re: How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with

Postby Jester » Sat Sep 01, 2012 7:20 am

momopi wrote:
Malaysian and English are compulsory in school. Those attending ethnic schools also learn Chinese or Tamil.

If she is Muslim, be aware that you're opening a large can of worms.


That's okay, they probably fry those and eat them.
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Postby Ginger » Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:21 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with

Postby Ginger » Fri Nov 02, 2012 11:25 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on Wed Jul 03, 2013 1:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Winston » Fri Nov 02, 2012 2:43 pm

This is simple. Just approach her and say hi and go with the flow. Don't you know how to make small talk? Talk to her like you are talking to us. Be funny and playful and sweet. SE Asian girls like that. If you get good vibes or if she smiles at you a lot, ask for her phone number.

Does your smart phone have a language app that you can use as an electronic dictionary?
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Postby davewe » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:24 pm

Ginger wrote:
Taco wrote:Just introduce yourself and tell her your looking for a good restaurant for lunch. Ask her if she wants to join you, she'll be delighted by your offer. There no awkwardness when asking Asian women on a date, that's strictly a product of western culture.

I've been in the Philippines 3 months now and I've had more women tell me I'm handsome(gwapo) than any other time in my life and I'm well past my prime. Actually, it happened to me yesterday a customer at my Filipina's store saw me walk in and told my Filipina I'm gwapo, she was in her early twenties and very single. My Filipina just laughed and said you can have him if you want.


Oh we say gwapo to every foreigner, so don't be too flattered about it, it's part of bola-bola culture. Sorry to be the grinch :)


Of course it's obvious that Filipinas throw out those guapo compliments pretty darn liberally. The point is in the West you're never gonna be complimented, even if you are married to the girl.

So, my gf calls me guapo. I take it with a grain of salt but it's sure nicer that what my ex-wife called me.
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Re: How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with

Postby Falcon » Fri Nov 02, 2012 5:38 pm

Ginger wrote:get a local wingman or winggirl....and if she is islamic, you are toast.


Agreed, this works well in Mexico and with Latinos in the U.S.


Ginger wrote:Go approach her, the worse that can happen is you getting slapped, and if you tall enough she might not be able to reach that far up :P


Great advice. In the U.S., our automatic response is "run and hide" for very good reasons - rejections can be far worse than simply getting slapped. For example, some guys, including Winston, have had security called on them. :shock:
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Postby Rayn » Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:01 pm

As a Malaysian member here in HA I am of course obliged to give advice when it comes to dating in my homeland.

To play a bit of a devil's advocate here...Malaysians do call guys handsome without necessarily having the intention of flirting or staring a relationship with them. I know, I have been called that by mothers and wives, even other guys before. So yeah, like Ginger said, don't' be too flattered about it.

Also the girl you mentioned is far outside of Kuala Lumpur, which of course is a positive indicator so I'll say go for it (I'll probably start a controversial thread detailing why KL is NOT an ideal place for foreigners to look for relationships - hookers and gold diggers excluded, but it depends whether my mood is up for it). She's likely to be humble enough to not push you off simply because you followed Winston advice of saying hi and going with the flow instead of doing some unthinkable boombastic sweep-her-off-her-feet pickup.

However, brace yourself for the reality...if she's Muslim the only way you can bone her is to marry her AND be a Muslim yourself. Or you can just play the bad boy card and illicit her into doing it against her moral consciousness. Or perhaps you will be lucky enough to find that she is a naughty girl in denial, LOL.
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Re: How do I approach a girl in SE Asia, who's flirting with

Postby Jester » Sat Nov 03, 2012 4:26 am

Ginger wrote:
Voice of Reason wrote:I'm in Malaysia at the moment at Malacca, and there is this pretty woman at the mall who I believe could be flirting with me.

I went into a stall to look at the bags (I need a new bag) and as I left she yells out "Hi!" to me. The next day I walked past again, and she made eye contact with me and I nodded and smiled. Then her and the other girls with her started laughing and speaking in Malay.

This is only my second week in SE Asia, and I am totally not used to this! I'm not sure what to do! This sort of thing never happens back home in Australia…this is a new situation to me. And living in the west hasn't exactly given me much self-confidence when it comes to approaching women.

I think I should approach her, but how should I go about it? It's not a place that sells food, so it's not like I could buy a meal there and start conversation with her. How do I do it? What if she doesn't speak English, and it ends up being too awkward? Or what if it ends up just being awkward? How can I approach her, and in a way that minimises the chances of awkwardness?

Any help or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!


get a local wingman or winggirl....and if she is islamic, you are toast.

Go approach her, the worse that can happen is you getting slapped, and if you tall enough she might not be able to reach that far up :P

:lol:
note to self --
always hit on short girls!
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Postby Jester » Sat Nov 03, 2012 4:29 am

davewe wrote:Of course it's obvious that Filipinas throw out those guapo compliments pretty darn liberally. The point is in the West you're never gonna be complimented, even if you are married to the girl.

especially
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