Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
After having 10 official GF's since 1987, 5 Canadian and 5 foreign, I've come to the conclusion that deep emotional attachment with a girl is in my opinion not worth it. When I was younger I always assumed I would pick 1 girl marry her and have kids and be a sheeple like most guys. But the more GF's I have the more and more I realize that is in fact the opposite of what I want. Since I've had so many GF's here recently I purposely don't get too far in deep with them since they are always foreign and will eventually leave, but also because I think it is not worth it. Once you have sex with a girl, you've reached the peak of what you can really achieve with them. You can never bond more than being intimate with them. So once you've slept with them what else can you really do? If you want kids OK well great that would be the ultimate sign of your feelings for each other, but if you don't want kids like me, I don't know what else I can do with them, but keep hanging out with them and sleeping with them. I won't marry and I tell them, so I'm usually expecting these girls to eventually ignore me and find some guy that will marry them and give them kids. But I've adopted the Tom Leykis mentality even before I started listening to him. Once the girl and I are bored with having sex with each other we usually have not much to say or do so we drift apart.
I have decided that for someone like me who won't marry and have kids, it is better to have friends with benefits, and that's why I'm headed for the Philippines. There I can have all the girls I want and not have commitment, which I tell the girls. If they don't like it they can stop hanging out with me and find some guy who will, but I don't really care since I can have lots more girls that will happy to be with me. I like to stay in touch with my old foreign GF's when they go back home, but I tell them I'm not offended if they marry some guy back at their home and ignore me. I really just want my own personal harem of girls in the Philippines to keep me satisfied with choice and selection and to not get to in deep with them. I'm not really interested in meeting their parents either. Their friends, yes I would be interested in meeting them in order to add to my harem. I asked one of the girls I met there if when I go back she can find a friend of hers that wants to sleep over with her and me since I've never slept with two girls. This girl is 18 and said OK she will try! I think the more girls I have there, the more and more I will want, and the older I get I will want the girls to stay the same age, 18 plus, since I will always be attracted to young girls no matter how old I am. If you look at many cultures around the world, this is the way it was and the way it should be. Men should have their pick of any of the girls in the tribe, village, island and can sleep with any of them that they want and their is no signing contracts like the bull shit marriages that exist today. When I get older I want lots of memories of all the girls I have been with, not just memories of just one or a few.
Obviously many western men would disagree with my opinion, but if they were offered a harem of young women they could choose from every day with new girls coming all the time, and then they compared that to signing a contract with one women for the rest of their life, they would choose the harem no question. It's just such a thing really doesn't exist in western society so they can't try it. But if they tried it they would never get married and would say give me my harem, marriage sucks. Once you get easy and non stop sex from many young girls without all the bullshit that comes with a GF, you won't go back to the old way with just 1 girl.
I don't condemn what you plan to do - it sounds like a lot of fun, on the surface. But compared with the best of what's possible in relationships, it is very superficial.
Have you never been in love, Will? It's wonderful! It can also be distressing, painful and difficult. But it's wonderful! I've had it twice in my life and although both relationships ended unhappily, I wouldn't have missed out on the experience for the world. Bonding deeply with another human being is incredibly life-affirming, almost spiritual in its intensity if you find the right person.
Maybe you could read Xsplat's blog: xsplat.wordpress.com. He has had several girlfriends much younger than him (mostly in Indonesia, I think) and he goes into the process of gaining hand over a woman without losing the ability to bond.
The heart wants what it wants. I wouldn't mind betting that your plan will go smoothly at first, but then you'll meet one girl that really blows you away and you'll succumb to one-itis - you'll fall in love despite yourself, and you won't have a clue how to handle it because you've never been there before (I guess). You'd be wise to prepare for that.
"As long as you make an identity for yourself out of the pain, you cannot become free of it." Eckhart Tolle
There's nothing wrong with your approach and I think it's a great plan but that may change if you actually find that "one". From what it sounds, you just haven't found that "one" yet. I am the same way, I will just keep having my fun as long as I can but I'm sure that if that "one" comes along, I will know and the heart may take over.
I agree that relationships can seem like a waste of time and the truth is that 95%+ of relationships will just not work out in the end. The odds of maintaining a relationship to last forever are very slim so it's not unusual for someone like you to do what you're doing. What matters most in the end is that you're happy. There is no reason to just settle down and have kids just because society thinks it is the right thing to do because of a certain age. So keep on having fun and if that "one" comes along, you'll know what to do. If she doesn't come along, at least you're having a blast and not wasting your time with an ungrateful c**t
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My goals are somewhat different from yours... but +1 for having the balls to state what you want, both to women, and here on the forum.
Most of the girls I met there didn't seem upset when I told them that I was meeting other girls. It seems they expected it. I even asked them if they minded and they said not really. Some would even text me and ask me what I was up to, and I would respond I was with a girl, and they would apologize for bothering me! I made sure I always kept in touch with them so they didn't feel ignored. It seems they cared more about meeting and hanging out with me and that I actually spent time with them as opposed to another girl. If I didn't respond to them fast enough some would text me back and ask what they had done wrong to offend them. I always replied with a lol, you did nothing wrong, it's just you are not the only girl!
Next time I go there I want to meet more girls from the provinces that don't live at home so they can do what they want and spend the night, as opposed to going home because of curfew and parents.
I have been in love with a few girls, but the bullshit that came with it was not worth it. As Tom Leykis says, the cost of Love is way too high. As long as I have a supply of young Asian beauties at my beck and call, I don't see the point of settling for just one. I don't think it matters how hot one or a few might be, you will eventually get bored of them. It's no different than eating the same food or living in the same place, or listening to the same music every day. Once you have too much of the same thing you will set sick and tired of it and want something new and different, it's only natural. So it is natural for men to want as many hot young girls as possible. That's why getting married is completely unnatural, it goes against what nature intends and builds into men. Just like it is natural for girls to want to have kids and be mothers. Western society has repressed this urge in women, that's why western women are so messed up. Society is contradicting the natural urge they have. Just like society is contradicting the natural urge in men to have lots of girls by telling them to get married.
I will take it a step further and state that too much emotional attachment to a woman cedes too much power to her. But this is what women want.
Buddism has a belief that the strong desire for something makes you a slave to it. I agree, and women exploit this in men.
One of the reasons why women hate male cheating is because it is an assualt on their power to enslave you.
If you don't agree, just read The Manipulated Man, by Esther Vilar.
I've read it and agree with it and you. Even though the book is 40 years old it is still so applicable to today, as women are far worse now then they were when it was released, around the same time I was born. I will never be a corporate or feminist slave. The more and more I here about buddhism the more and more I like it. I think it might be my unofficial "religion" when the Filipinas ask what religion I am there lol.
This is why men must be taught to be open to the possibility of polygamy. Otherwise too easy for a young guy to be pussy-whiped by his one-and-only.
It's monogamy that's unnatural, not marriage.
I don't think you will find too many non-Western (i.e. non-brainwashed) teenage men who would want to share their gf's with other men.
If you have been there, done that, and are happy to enjoy and let go, then either you are hardened/jaded, or were never made to be married. A few men aren't. There have always been a few. Nowadays more. My best friend is like this, he has a compulsion for the new, and gets tired of any woman. But this is unnatural, something to do with his family history. Not a good thing, not good for fatherhood.
But most men are made to own, to keep, and to defend what's theirs.
And regarding food, most of us, when we find a meal we like, we like to enjoy it again and again. Yes, along with some other cuisines as well, for the adventurer type.
One cuisine or many. One wife or many. One child or many. One dog or many. Any of these are good. But to own nothing, possess nothing, care for nothing? That may be where you are, and where many jaded American Men are.
But is in no way natural - in general.
"Manginas grovel. Men travel." - me (04/17/2012)
"I used to be one of those men who believed that men are better than women at everything. Then I stood corrected!
Women are better than men at... getting fat." - me (02/24/2013)
Black women suck at life.
Publicduende is right. Not to brag or anything, but I was in love for a short time when I was fourteen. It's strange to see much older men have no idea. It's like they're going through their lives missing vital information.
Jester, is polygamy feasible? Men used to die earlier and more often than women, but now that we live in post-industrialism I wonder what the effects of reintroducing polygamy would be.
I know the truth about emotional attachment: it always leads to heartbreak. No exceptions.
It is cliche and yet painfully true. And yet the opposite and equal truth of it is that it will bring joy before it brings heartbreak.
I've felt the heartbreak before. It is the worst kind of pain, comparable to no bodily pain. It is the pain of separation and loss. The joy emotional attachment brings is thus the opposite: union.
Is the pain worth it? I don't know. I know that the pain never feels like it was worth it when it has come to me before. I cannot say truly whether or not I want to experience love like that again. I do know this: after the last times my emotions were shattered, I ceased to feel the desire to love, or dare I say the ability. It never recovered to what I felt before even though it has been a year since it happened. I don't know if I want it to return.
I dream of hedonism. Just a little pleasure I have thus far been denied. I know the West has come up with this notion of love that is false. Hedonism is no worse, and probably better, than being trapped within that false paradigm.
A helpful guide:
Expatriation Apocalypse! The Guide to Expatriation for the Broke and Hopeless (Kindle)
Expatriation Apocalypse! (Paperback)
But it is possible to make love last. Sure there may be hard times or fights, but it is possible to end on joy as well. There are many examples of old married partners who die within days or weeks of each other. Literally dying of heartbreak. Such things will become less and less common in our society, but the possibility remains.
It's only been a year Ghost. Love is very strong. You still need more time to recover.
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