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Should I pursue a co-worker?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Should I pursue a co-worker?

Postby fightforlove » June 5th, 2013, 4:10 pm

Okay, I know it's usually not a good idea to date someone that you work with, but hear me out for a minute! There's this VERY attractive young woman who works in a different department on a different floor in our building. She is hispanic-american, mid-20s. We see each other in the cafeteria and hallway frequently and so far I've only smiled and said "hi". She seems a bit shy and just coyly smiles and says hi back to me. I haven't even initiated any conversation with her yet, but before I do, I wanted to hear some opinions/advice on going after co-workers. Have any of you tried pursuing/dating a woman you work with? How did you go about it?
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Postby xiongmao » June 5th, 2013, 4:25 pm

My brother's gf worked in the same building, they've been together for years and now have a kid.

Meanwhile I'm 10,000Km away dating women on the other side of the planet.

We might be brothers but we could not be more different in our personalities and aspirations.

Personally I keep work/pleasure separate as I got burned by a girl mouthing off to my employers when I was in my early 20's. If your job is good, don't risk it!
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Re: Should I pursue a co-worker?

Postby kai1275 » June 5th, 2013, 4:57 pm

fightforlove wrote:Okay, I know it's usually not a good idea to date someone that you work with, but hear me out for a minute! There's this VERY attractive young woman who works in a different department on a different floor in our building. She is hispanic-american, mid-20s. We see each other in the cafeteria and hallway frequently and so far I've only smiled and said "hi". She seems a bit shy and just coyly smiles and says hi back to me. I haven't even initiated any conversation with her yet, but before I do, I wanted to hear some opinions/advice on going after co-workers. Have any of you tried pursuing/dating a woman you work with? How did you go about it?


It is possible you may have run into one of the few decent hispanic girls left in that age range. The really good ones are usually taken before 20, and the ones in the mid and late 20s are too westernized to bother with. If she is as hot as you say she is, it's possible she was just too picky and waited for a good looking guy, like the one in your avatar.

Pick her brain first to see what she is like before you dig out that p***y. You need to find ways to see if she is messy, gossips, too forthcoming with personal information, etc.... You cannot screw this up if you have a good job, that you want to keep.
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Postby tomasz » June 6th, 2013, 1:17 am

think of it this way, what is more important her or your job. Keep in mind the worst case scenario
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Postby Adama » June 6th, 2013, 3:49 am

Sure, why not? If you can walk away from this job and get another one just like it tomorrow, then I say go for it. If it wouldnt be that easy to get a new job, then I'd say no.

I'd also consider your track record in "scoring chicks." If your track record and close rate is exceptionally high, then maybe. If you have struck out many times for no apparent reason then I will say absolutely not.

Another point is that you simply do not have enough information. Right now you have a crush but you essentially know nothing about her.

First I would find out all I could from her without asking her out. You can always start a conversation and see how that goes. You would need to find out if she is psycho, wishy-washy, if she is boy crazy (if she is boy crazy then she goes through many guys without blinking), if she has a boyfriend, and if she is a backstabber. These are only something to consider though, if you are willing to quit your job.

The problem with asking women out at work is that if it backfires, she can claim sexual harassment with the HR dept. Barring that, she can ruin your reputation by telling everyone how you asked her out and telling them you're a loser (or even if she does agree to date you, she will still be blabbing details, real or made up- about you around the workplace). Would you be able to handle being part of a rumor-mill with no control with you being made to be the villain?

Those are all things to consider.
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Try asking if

Postby buddy77 » June 6th, 2013, 4:35 am

you can join her table in that same cafeteria youve seen her in (this would be the most causual approach and she'll feel safe enough). Try and gauge her reaction to you then move foreward if she gives you positive reaction. Make light conversation/pick her brain.

If however you get negative reaction/vibes from her, then leave her alone and NEVER approach her again (not even in the cafeteria). Otherwise if you're dumb and approach her again, she can easily turn around and scream harrassment to Human Resources!

AW regardless of ethnicity have all been brainwashed and see men as predators. So careful and good luck.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » June 6th, 2013, 5:00 am

Do not shit where you eat. At least if you value your job. It might come back to haunt you.
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Postby Ghost » June 6th, 2013, 5:33 am

Just remember that although things could turn out all right, that all you are is one false accusation (of "sexual harassment" or whatever else) away from losing your job, tarnishing your reputation, and possibly worse.

It is dangerous to interact with females in America now. Do so with extreme caution, or better yet - not at all.
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Re: Should I pursue a co-worker?

Postby fightforlove » June 7th, 2013, 4:48 am

kai1275 wrote:
fightforlove wrote:Okay, I know it's usually not a good idea to date someone that you work with, but hear me out for a minute! There's this VERY attractive young woman who works in a different department on a different floor in our building. She is hispanic-american, mid-20s. We see each other in the cafeteria and hallway frequently and so far I've only smiled and said "hi". She seems a bit shy and just coyly smiles and says hi back to me. I haven't even initiated any conversation with her yet, but before I do, I wanted to hear some opinions/advice on going after co-workers. Have any of you tried pursuing/dating a woman you work with? How did you go about it?


It is possible you may have run into one of the few decent hispanic girls left in that age range. The really good ones are usually taken before 20, and the ones in the mid and late 20s are too westernized to bother with. If she is as hot as you say she is, it's possible she was just too picky and waited for a good looking guy, like the one in your avatar.

Pick her brain first to see what she is like before you dig out that p***y. You need to find ways to see if she is messy, gossips, too forthcoming with personal information, etc.... You cannot screw this up if you have a good job, that you want to keep.


I don't know anything about her, but she looks very exceptional. Yes, I am seriously crushing on her and I don't even know her name. Yes, I am a man.

She associates with a few others whom I believe she's related to that work in the building--half of the employees here are hispanic, so there's a real laid-back, family vibe going on. I'm going to make an opening on her and stir her pot a little and see how it looks. I'll report back to you all with my findings!
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Postby fightforlove » July 13th, 2013, 6:36 am

Drat, I spoke too soon. So, it turns out she is *married*. I guess I missed the big shiny ring that was not on her hand.
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Postby kai1275 » July 13th, 2013, 8:56 pm

fightforlove wrote:Drat, I spoke too soon. So, it turns out she is *married*. I guess I missed the big shiny ring that was not on her hand.


Meh. All the good ones in the US usually are.....

Go abroad, forget the domestic stuff....Plenty 8-10's to go around for a guy of your looks.
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Postby Teal Lantern » July 13th, 2013, 10:14 pm

fightforlove wrote:Drat, I spoke too soon. So, it turns out she is *married*. I guess I missed the big shiny ring that was not on her hand.


Hmm, one of those types. :roll:

Oh well, you've dodged a bullet. Perhaps literally. :wink:
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Postby mand38 » July 29th, 2013, 3:14 pm

well,why not?
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