Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
I need to sleep(01.41 am now) so i will keep this short. Long story short i met an chinese women through her friend and well we like each other and all(she is pretty damn jealous). she is 26 years old. basically we decide we should meet in real life(because we have been doing video chat on skype ) to see if we really liked each other. since i am unable to travel to china this year, she said she is going to come to the uk in september because we will meet quicker then. she has a some what decent job as a graphics designer and lives a relatively comfortable life(unlike me who is still a student : | with lots of ambitions) anyways i personally would rate her a 6.5/10 but i really like her sense of care(she takes care of her friend when she is sick and can cook) so i think she would make a good wife. i often have political and social debates/arguments with her so she isn't your typical bubble head woman that's a nightmare to have debates with). basically my dilemma is whether to put the effort into making it work out in real life when she comes to visit. also should i try to bang her while she is here? I think she know that may go down because why would you go visit a guy you like on the other side of the world if you don't intend to get involved in that way. she speaks a lot about marriage so i think maybe she's just scared of becoming a shengnu. anyways i want to know what you guys think. dammit almost 2am(1:58am). oh well later folks.
How old is she and how old are you, may answer that shengnu question, although Chinese women privately feel the pressure when they hit 25 sometimes. Where is she from? Is her English really good? If she can afford to visit you in the UK, I'd wager she has money. Maybe lots. Don't be intimidated, but look for "deal-breakers" you cannot tolerate. Most HA men could not tolerate even a low end "Tiger Wife". I personally could easily get along with a high-end tiger wife, but most cannot. Mostly because she would not have much to bitch at me about in the first place. If she is too disciplined and accomplished, she might ride your ass when you cannot hack up to expectations. Notice I did not say leave your ass for a green card, etc.. she might RIDE your ass.
Depending upon your age gaps she may not expect certain things from you, especially if she is a millionaire. Also if she is one, she will never tell you this, until you marry her btw. Most of China's millionaires are women, not men, and by a sizable margin too. If her family has alot of money, they won't tell you until marriage time either. Those women know they cannot find a decent Chinese husband especially if they are past 28, so the smarter ones look abroad and generally want to be happy. Like I told a few others here before, look for clues like will she feed you food from your bowl or hers, rub your back, wash you in the shower, groom you before you guys go out, etc. Chinese women show love, they do not talk too much about it because talk is cheap in Chinese culture.
Oh yeah if she offers sex, that is an offer of marriage in good faith for Chinese women. They do not f**k for fun, unless they are KTV/Xiaojie type whores. If she offers it, take it and see what happens. If she has super tight p***y, virgin or not, you will get dizzy while in mid stroke and get major head rush. You will feel like you are spinning around in that room on the ceiling. Now that I have warned ya, keep focused and don't get caught up if she is not the right one for marriage.
I prefer the low end Tiger ladies - the smart ones are just too much hard work. Hardly any men like women who are smarter than they are.
If a girl doesn't want sex, then that's a bad sign so just bale out.
If she's rich from her family's money, then stay well away. She'll be a spoilt princess as the mainlanders have no taste.
Not sure why you'd want to date a 6.5 anyway - you'll just go to China to get married then see all those 9's and realise you want to trade up.
To answer both of your questions. She is 26 i am 19. She isn't smarter than me even though i am 19 because i am not your typical 19 yr old who lives in a bubble. I have a lot of hobbies(programming, electronics, politics, music, a small business that i have made money from, e.t.c) and life experience so maybe she likes that. initially she said i was too young(most likely because she is scared i will change my mind in the future, she said this many time) but then she started to let go of that idea after i speak more with her and she learnt more about me. Since she is a graphics designer and i have programming experience, we made a website together and its looked pretty kl so maybe she sees that we can do kl things together. btw her friend also likes me(but i am not interested in her) so once she got kind of jealous/mad when her friend told her she would marry me blah blah and she said she is not speaking to me and her again lol because western culture is too open. i was confused because chinese people like to beat around the bush so it took some questioning to get to the cause of the problem. that's prob when i knew she was serious(before i thought she was just playing with me) about it.
I managed to talk her into not leaving(because i want to at least meet her in rl) since then we've just been speaking about daily life stuff and/or future plans. she isn't super rich(i think ) but she is financially stable as she has been living either with her friend or alone for some time now and was planning to buy a house. her dad died when was 12(because of overworking i think, never asked her more about it). a lot of the time i speak to her until she goes to bed, then i continue to speak with her until she sleeps(my voice makes her want to sleep she says ). once she told me how her mom found some dude for her but she wasn't into him e.t.c i think she will be very loyal because she said has only had one boyfriend while she was in uni and that ended quite quickly(i believe this 80%) and based on my analysis, she just needs someone. i never asked her if she is still a virgin(i think she is but should i? ).
sorry about the wall of text and non existent structure to this but i forgot one more thing. she once offered to buy me a plane ticket(she sent me a jade necklace a while ago) to go to china and live with her but i said no because i will never be in such a position again(already am) where a women has overall financial superiority because she will push you into a pit when her daily, weekly or monthly emotional surges start where for a few minutes she is unable to think logically and acts irrational. i will gladly receive help from a woman but only when i have laid my own financial foundations.
Last edited by RedMenace on Tue Jun 18, 2013 9:21 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Welcome to the forum, RedMeance. Please use paragraphs, capitalization and line spacing in your posts, RedMenace! I fixed it for you this time...but why are we getting so many posts without paragraphs and proper grammar lately?
sorry mate its just easier to type that way because trying to make everything sound and look professional takes time.
Wow! You are definitely not a typical 19 year old. You remind me of myself, but you might even be smarter than I was when I was 19. I can tell you are super mature for you age too. 26 year old woman with a 19 year old one will be a little challenging in a way, but if I had to pick a certain kind of older woman to marry she would have to be Asian and more specifically Chinese/Japanese except Filipino women. Since you are serious, smart, and disciplined, you can handle any of them!!
With your young age, you should have good enough cardio shape and good stroke/motion power to make her bond completely to you, so you better f**k her good after you get her use to your size. If you were anyone else, I would say no, but I think you can do this actually. Here's why:
1. Her father is gone. So with only a mother left, she has more freedom to marry anyone she wants. Especially at 26, even her mom would be less likely to care you are a laowai because she has already started searching for her daughter. Men come first in China. So if the man is gone, the family must re-center eventually and mom knows it will just get worse if she keeps waiting.
2. You are smarter than her probably, but not too much so that you would be mismatched!
3. You two work well together as a team it seems and get along well. Perhaps you two can run a business together...... Just a thought!
4. If you are both virgins, bring it up in conversation. It can make for that beautiful connection/moment Tsar talks about here on HA in some of his posts. If not find a smooth way to segway into that...
5. You must have a serious discussion upfront about, whether or not, she will allow you to be head of household, and what her expectations of a husband are to be. Do not wait until you f**k before clearing the air. Good dick can make any woman sing your praises submissively for a little while... You also need to express what your expectations of a wife are to be as well.
6. Give each other enough time to think about step 5 if necessary. If you two find a fault in expectations, take a quick timeout to think about what the other one really meant.
Also about what Xiongmao said. If you think she is a 6.5 is that a 6.5 on a China scale? Or a 6.5 by western standards? There is a huge difference! Xiongmao is correct that if you go there and get engaged or married to her, you will see 8-10's walking around in China. So what. Most of them don't want you. Seriously. China is not a PUA place unless you speak very fluent Mandarin, and it is still not really all that great. It's just eye candy. At least you will be getting your needs met, instead of wandering around China with your jaw dropped lonely with only xiaojie and ol trigger to play with at the hotel or 7 days apartment.
Many 8-10's will only marry another Chinese, because their parents would never approve. That is not counting the ones that think they want a cute foreigner but do not know that their parents will tell them no when they ask for the first time. Very few 8-10s want a laowai and already know if their parents will approve. It takes work to find some that want a laowai and can have one, so street hunting makes that harder and tougher.
19 is kind of young to be thinking about marriage. Maybe think about a career and just dating 100's of girls so you know which type are your type.
Kai is right, for me China was just eye candy because I couldn't talk to the girls. Also they weren't expecting PUA activity. Whereas in Thailand I think that the girls here almost expect it, and I can see it working very well. I'll give it a go sometime, but first I need to change my hotel because no girl is interested in a guy staying in a hooking district!!!
To hell with that! If you are a real man at 19 and can handle marriage unlike the many 35+ "men" in here, go forth and claim your birthright. Before feminism and NWO bullshit came around, many men were real men before 19. Only stupid new age/homo/effeminate/low testosterone fat man complex/feminism mantra tells young men, to be wussy men, not to never get married until you are much older. Don't be like the many weak men out there. Lead from the front, take on responsibility as a prestigious God-given honor and not a burden. I think you have earned it anyway. By they time you two get stuff in order for a wedding, you might be 20 or 21 anyway...
Older men are always constantly trying to hold back young guys that are "flash runts" (sometimes they do this subconsciously with no malice). You are from the UK, you know what that means. When I bought my house, my male neighbors quickly let me know that they were much older than I was when they were able to buy a large house, and it came off a bit jealous sounding. That's why I don't f**k with them. I wave a deuce, when I drive by and I keep it moving. I don't need their advice, because it took them twice as long to do what I did. You will be the same as I am probably except better. You have already avoided wasting time with a ugly attitude Western Woman. That was the biggest mistake in my whole life, but that hasn't stopped me from getting what I wanted and needed. Just a minor setback.
I will just answer all your questions at once.
xiongmao: I had a plan of the career i wanted to do back when i was 14 years old. I am studying to become an Electrical & Electronics Engineer. I have also thought about just dating but based on the outcome of so many others around my age, I simply don't have time to waste messing with women who I don't intend to be with in the long run. Also the feminism nonsense gives western women unbelievable level of control over men. Western women will take a wealthy man or poor man with a lot of potential, emasculate him, then make him their personal bitch. He will eventually be kicked out of his house and divorced which destroys his kids chances or growing up in a stable and healthy family environment. I intend to not go down that path. More often than not, Chinese women will take a poor man with a lot of potential and help him to become someone great. They are also more likely to not divorce you if you are a loyal man. This only applies to non xiaojie's.
kai1275: She is 6.5 Chinese standard i think. She tells me how her coworker tries to chat her up but she thinks he is annoying . Also when she was trying to buy a house, she told me the young buck doing the dealings always tries speak to her about things other than house market. I think she is still unmarried because she is too shy and/or too conserved. It didn't take that long for me to learn how to avoid an argument with her. I am the one who always initiates things so clearly she knows her role in this and is happy with it. She also knows what I want in a wife. Not just some boring as hell bubble head to have sex with and hope you don't get her pregnant or catch an STI. I have had a lot of conversations with her and now I am just waiting to meet her in rl and see if she's worth my time and dedication. I am a very dedicated person when i decide to do something and i never abandon my principles. We did exchange personal pictures a few days ago and on her's she is lying on a sofa with dress that goes as far as a short skirt would so i could see she has nice body. Mind you its subtle teasing not naked pictures lol because that's not how i see her and how she sees me. It actually took me a while to get that picture because she is too shy .
I think it doesn't matter that much if she is 6.5 Chinese standard because the most loyal wives are not 10's or even close to that. If a woman is too beautiful and you're not her male counterpart then she holds all the power. You have no choice but to be a bitch because you are too scared of loosing her. You are better off going with a feminist because she will smell your weakness and capitalise on it like there's no tomorrow. It's more stable if she's not too beautiful or too ugly. Just average. Only use the 10's for sex and nothing else if you get the chance to because they know they have power over you. And most of the time they are the most boring and materialistic type of women because they think their looks are enough to get men and they are right. You do however get the exception cases but that's like playing Russian roulette.
Not sure about that. I had no idea who I really was until I was 35. Guys tend to mature slowly as people.
I should have had a lot more fun in my 20's, although getting a solid career going was very valuable indeed. Now I'm semi-retired and can afford to do stupid things cubicle slaves my age only dream about.
If she is a 6.5 in Chinese standards, which is slightly above average she is at least 7.5 to 8 with makeup etc. In the West at best. If she is getting hit on over there she looks good enough for sure. Good job man. You two should be just fine.
There are all kinds of things wrong with this post. Just because you were a late bloomer in life means nothing to others. Semi retired hoping around Asia, may not be the same to anyone else here either.
She actually doesn't wear makeup or very little. She could easily look 8 chinese standard if she had makeup on. But i like her without makeup.
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