Is this all happening too fast?

[tomasz]

I am 28, here in Toronto Canada. And have signed up on cherry blossoms a few weeks ago. I have been chating with a lot of girls on there, and today one of them (which I enjoy talking to the most) asked me to be exclusive. Mind you we haven't met eachother, shes from philippines, single and 28 (working in hong kong).

Like i said, we get along great, shes not looking for marriage at the moment and neither am i. We have a mutual interest in investing and just generally becoming financially free, which I believe is the foundation or the core of the "relationship".

So my question is, to those who have been down this road, any advice you have for me. Should I committ to a long distance relationship, close down CB and be exclusive with her?

Thomas

[germanguy]

We have a mutual interest in investing and just generally becoming financially free, which I believe is the foundation or the core of the "relationship".

You are in for a rough surprise... A relationship always means giving up some of your financial freedom.

[xiongmao]

Just be careful, you're not in a relationship if you're not actually with a girl. See it a lot now I'm in Thailand - the world capital of the part time girlfriend.

And 28yo Filipinas not looking for marriage, that's kind of strange.

[tomasz]

What so you mean a rough surprise?

Well that is what I am thinking too. We are dating or physically together but if I say that, I may risk losing her. She's not looking for marriage right now but eventually she will want it.

[Teal Lantern]

I am 28, here in Toronto Canada. And have signed up on cherry blossoms a few weeks ago. I have been chating with a lot of girls on there, and today one of them (which I enjoy talking to the most) asked me to be exclusive. Mind you we haven't met eachother, shes from philippines, single and 28 (working in hong kong).

Like i said, we get along great, shes not looking for marriage at the moment and neither am i. We have a mutual interest in investing and just generally becoming financially free, which I believe is the foundation or the core of the "relationship".

So my question is, to those who have been down this road, any advice you have for me. Should I committ to a long distance relationship, close down CB and be exclusive with her?

Thomas

"[S]he's not looking for marriage at the moment"
-- Don't worry, another moment will be along in about 60 seconds.
They go from "staying casual" to "where's this relationshit (sic) going" like nothing, and get mad if you don't roll over.

"We have a mutual interest in investing and just generally becoming financially free"
-- This is true with many women, but usually just involves the man's money."

"Should I commit to a long distance relationship, close down CB and be exclusive with her?"
-- The short answer is HELL NO!

What does "exclusive" even mean, with a woman you haven't met?
Is she worried you're going to get someone else's e-mail in-box pregnant?
Don't fool yourself into thinking she's not writing, seeing, etc. other men. Yes, plural.

[tomasz]

I am curious, with no disrespect, why am i getting "hateful" responses. Has anyone been in this similar situation all the way to eventually meeting, dating and even marrying a filipina? I would like to hear about their experience and advice.

I get and agree that it is somewhat foolish to commit to a long distance relationship, which was my concern hence why I am on here looking for advice.

Also, in terms of the other things about investing and marriage, I don't think it makes sense for me to further explain because either the readers here misunderstand my point or just shit all over it.

[magnum]

I'm 28, involved with a girl from china who's 19, she's still in china I'm in the usa, heading back in july.


I can tell you right now, your selling your self short, and the girls who intentions I have no clue about, probably knows it.


Do not commit to a relationship like that until You've met in person, even I sometimes think it was unwise to commit to that, and I've met my girl friend, granted only for 3 days before getting back to the usa...but I still think it was too hasty...but it might just pay off.


For your situation I'd say no, I wont commit until we've met in person, because that means she has sacrificed something for you, even something as little as time.


I say see her in person first, I'm all for committed relationships, but interact with her in person first.



As for her age....at that age if she isn't looking to marry, I would say if you do want to get married you better walk away now, because a bunch of younger girls would jump at the chance, I know it isn't all about age and looks, I wasn't saying that...but it isn't worth it in my opinion to commit to a girl who isn't going to marry you one day, double if that's what you want.

[xiongmao]

It's worth going out and travelling. If you think HK Filipinas are attractive then you'll go crazy if you see the girls over the border in Shenzhen or Guangzhou. 10's everywhere! Sometimes 3-4 in a single subway carriage.

I could have married the Chinese girl I met online 3 years ago. But since then I've met much, much better ladies.

Do everything you can to live in Asia for a while. I tried long distance relationships, but it was just impossible to move a relationship along while I wasn't in Asia.

Plus if you live in Asia then you can weed out any girls who are just looking for a green card etc. etc.

[Ava Paige]

The answer to this question is yes and no, depends on what the woman means by getting "exclusive" and why she wants it.
I just want to give my two cents worth regarding this topic, since it seems like it needs a Filipina girl's opinion (now I'm not saying that this is what all Filipina women think but I am writing based on MOST PH women's POV).

When a woman wants to get "exclusive" with you, there might be several reasons:

- She needs security. She wants to make sure that you're not gonna be flirting with other girls even while you're away
- She really intends to meet you and have a long term relationship when you meet in person.
- She wants to make sure that you will really meet her and not waste her time talking to you over the Internet.
- She is serious about looking for a relationship, which is really the main reason why females join dating sites (excluding scammers and gold diggers, of course)

Now, on to my advice:

- Meet her first, and if you think you want to have a long-term relationship with her upon meeting then do so.
- Play the field before settling down to one girl.
- Make sure she's sincere, and check your emotions first if you really want her before getting too serious.
- Be honest to each other.
- COMMUNICATE.

Well, I hope it helps in your decision-making somehow.

[Maverick]

OP, I'm at the same point you are. I started talking to some girls, found one I really clicked with, and she wanted to become exclusive.

I was honest with her. I told her that we should meet each other in person first and see how we feel at that time. She agreed and actually liked the fact that I was honest about it and not leading her on.

I plan on heading out there around November. If we meet and all goes well in person, I will consider making it exclusive at that time.

[tomasz]

thanks for the positive feedback.

I stuck to my guns and said that no relationship until we actually meet and spend time.
I am glad I stopped and thought about it because it would be utterly foolish to go with it.

[CrazyCanuck944]

I think this is really pretty commonplace with most Filipinas. They want to isolate and insulate you from other women as quick as they can. Personally, I'm really starting to resent it when they try to do this with me. Yes, I know this thread is almost a year old...lol