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Woman asked me if I've had a lot of girlfriends

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Woman asked me if I've had a lot of girlfriends

Postby Hero » September 18th, 2013, 3:22 am

So how do I answer this question? If I say "no", then I look like a loser. If I say "yes", then I look like a playboy. I just told her "I've had a few serious ones". Hope that was a good answer. Are all women preoccupied with this question?
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Postby Banano » September 18th, 2013, 4:59 am

Tell her you are still virgin(hopefully she'll think its a joke), never give them straight answers. NEVER.
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Postby Falcon » September 18th, 2013, 5:03 am

It's funny how I get asked this often too, outside of the US that is.

Your answer is perfect. :D
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » September 18th, 2013, 5:12 am

Ignore the question and move on to another subject. Seriously.
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Postby Halwick » September 18th, 2013, 5:23 am

By saying "yes", you will look like a playboy in their eyes. But it also sends the message that she can be replaced easily and that's what they're insecure about.

Don't be afraid to make it clear that if she doesn't cooperate with you and takes care of you properly, you can always find another woman who will.

This is especially true in the Philippines, as a Fililpina who has a western boyfriend knows she can be replaced by another Filipina if she doesn't take care of him properly.
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Postby Hero » September 18th, 2013, 11:51 am

Another girl asked me why I don't already have a gf. I told her that I just broke up with my gf two months ago. I thought that was a pretty good answer.
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Postby ryanx » September 18th, 2013, 11:59 am

You should say: define "girlfriend" or "a lot of" !

I have a number of answers depending on the girl and the situation, but it is always evasive and keeps them guessing.

Example: Is (insert_number_here) a lot? If the answer is yes, say I was hoping to reach that number but now that I have met you I am reconsidering!

If the answer is no, say maybe I should aim for a higher number! Damn! I am missing out.

Tom Leykis has some of the best answers to this question.
Last edited by ryanx on September 18th, 2013, 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby jamesbond » September 18th, 2013, 12:01 pm

Hero wrote:Another girl asked me why I don't already have a gf. I told her that I just broke up with my gf two months ago. I thought that was a pretty good answer.


That's a great answer. Tom Leykis says, never let women know that your having a dry spell, always make it look like you have an active social life. If I am asked if I had a lot of serious relationships, I just say, "yeah a few" then I try to change the subject.

Women usually don't have "dry spells" so when they meet a guy who hasn't had a date in 3 years or a girfreind in 5 years they think the guy is a loser. Never let a woman know you have gone through dry spells in your dating life.

You don't want to make it look like you are an unemployed bum with no social life ............... even if you are an unemployed bum with no social life, you don't want her to know that. :P
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Postby Hero » September 18th, 2013, 12:22 pm

At what point do you consider too many questions like this to be a deal-breaker? I mean, if she's known you for a long time, and you've proved that you're a good guy, but she's still interrogating you about your past, she's probably way too distrustful and paranoid.
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Postby kai1275 » September 18th, 2013, 5:21 pm

That is one of the reasons why dating NE Asian women is nice. Most don't give a shit about your past relationships, especially Chinese women. They hate talking about theirs and usually will not ask you about yours. They tend to be very adverse to knowing intimate details about you and someone else.

They understand the game. Tru-Playas for real!
:lol:

AiB's answer is the correct answer by the way. Just give them a f**k off answer and change the subject. ( Yeah a few back in the day or whatever...) If they are not dumb as hell they will get the hint.
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Postby Hero » September 18th, 2013, 10:45 pm

Now that I think about it, the question "have you had a lot of girlfriends?" is insulting.
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Postby tre » September 18th, 2013, 11:46 pm

^^^Why is that insulting? I would think that would mean she thinks you are attractive and could be a player...nothing to be insulted about IMO. Your answers were both fine. Really, the more you care about what she thinks, the more likely you are to f**k things up. That's been my experience anyway.

My girl is STILL paranoid and jealous after 4 years of being in a relationship. She has nightmares about me cheating. I've never cheated on her or anyone else. She just knows that I hooked up with quite a few girls in Las Vegas (hot ones) and that most were Asian (like she is). If a hot Asian walks by, she IMMEDIATELY checks to see if I'm checking them out. I need to get some really dark sun glasses before I head to Asia again....haha. It's annoying....really annoying. But, I'm not insulted by it. She thinks girls still want me and that makes me feel just fine:). If she didn't care, she's planning on leaving me....I know her. At some point, though...I hope she will trust me more as I deserve it. Her dad left her mom AND her when she was a young girl in the Phils and that has warped her mind I think in regards to men....
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Postby E Irizarry R&B Singer » September 18th, 2013, 11:52 pm

tre wrote:^^^Why is that insulting? I would think that would mean she thinks you are attractive and could be a player...nothing to be insulted about IMO. Your answers were both fine. Really, the more you care about what she thinks, the more likely you are to f**k things up. That's been my experience anyway.

My girl is STILL paranoid and jealous after 4 years of being in a relationship. She has nightmares about me cheating. I've never cheated on her or anyone else. She just knows that I hooked up with quite a few girls in Las Vegas (hot ones) and that most were Asian (like she is). If a hot Asian walks by, she IMMEDIATELY checks to see if I'm checking them out. I need to get some really dark sun glasses before I head to Asia again....haha. It's annoying....really annoying. But, I'm not insulted by it. She thinks girls still want me and that makes me feel just fine:). If she didn't care, she's planning on leaving me....I know her. At some point, though...I hope she will trust me more as I deserve it. Her dad left her mom AND her when she was a young girl in the Phils and that has warped her mind I think in regards to men....


Okay dude. You better not cohabitate with her NOR impregnate her. You've been warned. You're on this site without "anti-preparing" for either of the two. Why do you want to be "happier abroad", tre?
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Postby Hero » September 18th, 2013, 11:56 pm

tre wrote:^^^Why is that insulting? I would think that would mean she thinks you are attractive and could be a player...nothing to be insulted about IMO. Your answers were both fine. Really, the more you care about what she thinks, the more likely you are to f**k things up. That's been my experience anyway.

My girl is STILL paranoid and jealous after 4 years of being in a relationship. She has nightmares about me cheating. I've never cheated on her or anyone else. She just knows that I hooked up with quite a few girls in Las Vegas (hot ones) and that most were Asian (like she is). If a hot Asian walks by, she IMMEDIATELY checks to see if I'm checking them out. I need to get some really dark sun glasses before I head to Asia again....haha. It's annoying....really annoying. But, I'm not insulted by it. She thinks girls still want me and that makes me feel just fine:). If she didn't care, she's planning on leaving me....I know her. At some point, though...I hope she will trust me more as I deserve it. Her dad left her mom AND her when she was a young girl in the Phils and that has warped her mind I think in regards to men....


OK, maybe it's not insulting, but it's a red flag. I sure as shit don't want to be with a woman who's still paranoid and jealous after 4 years in a relationship. I had a gf like that, and it was not a fun experience. The last straw was when she got pissed at me for visiting a female friend to pay my condolences after her father died. :evil:
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Postby tre » September 19th, 2013, 1:37 am

E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:
tre wrote:^^^Why is that insulting? I would think that would mean she thinks you are attractive and could be a player...nothing to be insulted about IMO. Your answers were both fine. Really, the more you care about what she thinks, the more likely you are to f**k things up. That's been my experience anyway.

My girl is STILL paranoid and jealous after 4 years of being in a relationship. She has nightmares about me cheating. I've never cheated on her or anyone else. She just knows that I hooked up with quite a few girls in Las Vegas (hot ones) and that most were Asian (like she is). If a hot Asian walks by, she IMMEDIATELY checks to see if I'm checking them out. I need to get some really dark sun glasses before I head to Asia again....haha. It's annoying....really annoying. But, I'm not insulted by it. She thinks girls still want me and that makes me feel just fine:). If she didn't care, she's planning on leaving me....I know her. At some point, though...I hope she will trust me more as I deserve it. Her dad left her mom AND her when she was a young girl in the Phils and that has warped her mind I think in regards to men....


Okay dude. You better not cohabitate with her NOR impregnate her. You've been warned. You're on this site without "anti-preparing" for either of the two. Why do you want to be "happier abroad", tre?



I've cohabitated with her for 3 of the 4 years that we've been together. These have been rough years and she is still here. Most women would have bailed on me due to the roughness of my situation. I won't be getting her pregnant...I take precautions. She doesn't want kids either.

I want to move abroad as I am fascinated with the culture, the people and the food. I see myself living abroad for at least 10 years. I may come back to the USA (if there is something to come back to) after that. When I was in Asia for just 1 month, my blood pressure dropped like a rock (I'm currently hypertensive). I felt alive and healthy for the first time in a long time. I don't plan to just drop everything and go abroad (couldn't if I wanted to). It will likely take years of preparation to do it right.

I have expectations of my GF and she knows it. I expect her to progress her life. She is already "westernized" so she's not going to be a home-maker and a mother. I expect her to contribute financially (a good career) so that BOTH of our lives can be better. The next 5 years are going to be hell (school and work for both of us simultaneously). If she can do what I expect, then I feel that she will contribute to our happiness. There isn't going to be a free ride. If she's going to end up being with me 5-6 years from now, she's going through the fire WITH me...
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