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Why your FW needs to know English

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

Moderators: fschmidt, jamesbond

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kai1275
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Why your FW needs to know English

Post by kai1275 » September 22nd, 2013, 9:21 pm

I almost lost my car in a flash flood and when I was trying to get the road side assistance people to send a truck to come get my car, I realized my wallet was left at home! :evil: They wanted payment immediately because it was an "Act of God". Anyway I called my wife and had her find my wallet and she read out my credit card information out to me over the phone no problem! I am very proud of her for getting things done quickly without issue. She even called my brother and my mother as well and was able to tell them what happened to me out there. I almost drowned too out there it was crazy.

This is not the first time I have needed her help like this, but I thought I would share this one because some guys get FW for wives or whatever and they are either dumb women or cannot speak or read English. That is dumb in my opinion unless you are very fluent in their language.

Bottom line: It is the small things that matter and mean alot in a bad situation or a bind. Leave dumb and useless women ALONE! They do NOT make good wives!

fschmidt
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Post by fschmidt » September 22nd, 2013, 9:33 pm

I would rename this thread "Why your FW needs to LEARN English". She doesn't need it to start with if you know her language.

Jester
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Post by Jester » September 23rd, 2013, 6:45 am

Thanks Kai for a good thread and glad u have a smart, on-the-ball wife.

i don't think I'm totally hijacking the thread if I put a spin on it...

If you live in HER country, can you live happily ever after without having a language in common?

lets say u learn what u need to get around...

She is native..

If u r both intelligent, intuitive people can lack of common language b overcome with body language, eyes, facial expressions, etc?

deasil875
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Post by deasil875 » October 2nd, 2013, 7:14 am

Kai...very useful gem of wisdom. Couldn't agree more. Sexual chemistry will only go so far if there is a language barrier. That will kill the foundation needed for a relationship. How the f**k is a man supposed to communicate with his woman when you have a disagreement about something.

I encourage my fellow HA brothers to screen screen screen as I have been doing! Skype and voice calls are very important and make a world of difference. If there is a difficulty in communicating to the point where she cannot understand the basics, or at least carry on a decent, natural conversation, I have no business hooking up for the long term.

magnum
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Post by magnum » October 2nd, 2013, 7:33 am

glad to hear your alright, good stuff about your wife.



That's why I'm happy about my girl friend she's educated very well and speaks very very good English.


Down side is, it drives her crazy I'm not Educated and I'm worried being of a higher "education" might work to change her if she ever comes to the usa...

Jester
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Post by Jester » October 2nd, 2013, 7:41 am

magnum wrote:
....That's why I'm happy about my girl friend she's educated very well and speaks very very good English.


Down side is, it drives her crazy I'm not Educated and I'm worried being of a higher "education" might work to change her if she ever comes to the usa...
A woman's most dangerous weapon is her tongue. It can gut a man. If she is criticizing you now, it will only get worse.

Drop her cold. Tell her why.

You've learned how to attract a woman and make her fall in love with you. Congratulations.

Now you have to learn to say no, and mean it.

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 2nd, 2013, 5:01 pm

fschmidt wrote:I would rename this thread "Why your FW needs to LEARN English". She doesn't need it to start with if you know her language.
No. Because my parents and brothers don't speak foreign languages and English is the main language of handling your f***ing business in America. Not being able to speak to anyone here, can get a motherf***er killed in an emergency! That was my point.

EDIT: Just so we are clear, my wife's English was rather poor when I met her, but her ability to learn and the amount of improvement she made ALLOWED us to seal the deal, because my Mandarin is not good enough to have deep conversations yet.
Last edited by kai1275 on October 2nd, 2013, 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 2nd, 2013, 5:07 pm

Jester wrote:Thanks Kai for a good thread and glad u have a smart, on-the-ball wife.

i don't think I'm totally hijacking the thread if I put a spin on it...

If you live in HER country, can you live happily ever after without having a language in common?

lets say u learn what u need to get around...

She is native..

If u r both intelligent, intuitive people can lack of common language b overcome with body language, eyes, facial expressions, etc?
No. Good relationships and marriages, especially, require effective communication. I think fluency in at least one common language is required. Either you fully learn hers and live where she is from, or she knows yours and lives where you live. If you want relatives to be involved, then you and her will need both. If we moved to France, we are both going to learn French. We even agreed to that already, and there is a 1% chance we might move there.

For me, it is impossible to learn her parents local dialect, and their Mandarin is not very good, but they can understand it when it is spoken to them.

There are MORE THAN ENOUGH HOT WOMEN THAT KNOW ENGLISH! No need to play monkey sign language with any woman! Grunting and nodding is unsophisticated and classless! Anyone in HA is better than this! That kind of stuff is beneath all of you.

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 2nd, 2013, 5:11 pm

Jester wrote:
magnum wrote:
....That's why I'm happy about my girl friend she's educated very well and speaks very very good English.


Down side is, it drives her crazy I'm not Educated and I'm worried being of a higher "education" might work to change her if she ever comes to the usa...
A woman's most dangerous weapon is her tongue. It can gut a man. If she is criticizing you now, it will only get worse.

Drop her cold. Tell her why.

You've learned how to attract a woman and make her fall in love with you. Congratulations.
Now you have to learn to say no, and mean it.
You need to understand the culture of Chinese people. They criticize constructively out of love or respect. Sometimes it's just plain ol complaining but they all do that. It's not personal. They are just very practical minded. It's like a harmless form of nagging. It's not feminism.

That said, Magnum has been told how fragile his situation is by me, Everdred and others, so he definitely knows....

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 2nd, 2013, 5:12 pm

deasil875 wrote:Kai...very useful gem of wisdom. Couldn't agree more. Sexual chemistry will only go so far if there is a language barrier. That will kill the foundation needed for a relationship. How the f**k is a man supposed to communicate with his woman when you have a disagreement about something.

I encourage my fellow HA brothers to screen screen screen as I have been doing! Skype and voice calls are very important and make a world of difference. If there is a difficulty in communicating to the point where she cannot understand the basics, or at least carry on a decent, natural conversation, I have no business hooking up for the long term.
WELL f***ing SAID!

Jester
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Post by Jester » October 3rd, 2013, 6:50 am

kai1275 wrote:
You need to understand the culture of Chinese people. They criticize constructively out of love or respect. Sometimes it's just plain ol complaining but they all do that. It's not personal. They are just very practical minded. It's like a harmless form of nagging. It's not feminism.

I personally have no use for nagging from someone who is supposed to be on my team.

When I do need input, I ask for it.

I want a woman who is intelligent enough to be able to give me advice, and who is submissive enough not to give it unless asked.

ladislav
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Post by ladislav » October 3rd, 2013, 2:33 pm

The reason why so many American men prefer Filipinas is the English language. They have a US -like education- basically, a US system that was copied unto another country.

With East Slavs, the Thais etc., language and cultural differences can be too great and if you bring them to the USA, they cannot function immediately unlike a Filipina who just plugs into the very familiar to her cultural network.

My parents are a prime example. Especially my mother. Very well educated in the Russian and Ukrainian languages- college level teacher, writer, etc. Could never master English no matter how much she tried. She still speaks a pidgin variety that is horrible to listen to.

That is of course, if you want to live in the USA.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 3rd, 2013, 3:04 pm

Jester wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
You need to understand the culture of Chinese people. They criticize constructively out of love or respect. Sometimes it's just plain ol complaining but they all do that. It's not personal. They are just very practical minded. It's like a harmless form of nagging. It's not feminism.

I personally have no use for nagging from someone who is supposed to be on my team.

When I do need input, I ask for it.

I want a woman who is intelligent enough to be able to give me advice, and who is submissive enough not to give it unless asked.
Chinese women are not for everyone. That said, most are super submissive. Some are even like you would like, quiet and wont tell you anything at all. Depends upon the woman but they are versatile enough to see your weaknesses and if they have it in them, they will try to compensate for whatever it is you are lacking. The smarter ones do that. That is teamwork too.

kai1275
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Post by kai1275 » October 3rd, 2013, 3:11 pm

ladislav wrote:The reason why so many American men prefer Filipinas is the English language. They have a US -like education- basically, a US system that was copied unto another country.

With East Slavs, the Thais etc., language and cultural differences can be too great and if you bring them to the USA, they cannot function immediately unlike a Filipina who just plugs into the very familiar to her cultural network.

My parents are a prime example. Especially my mother. Very well educated in the Russian and Ukrainian languages- college level teacher, writer, etc. Could never master English no matter how much she tried. She still speaks a pidgin variety that is horrible to listen to.

That is of course, if you want to live in the USA.
Well said. It is good that so many of them speak English, because learning whole new languages as you get older gets very hard at times. Not all men can handle doing that, nor have the time. Some languages are just hard by default due to design, like Mandarin. Then like you said, culture is another beast.

Using strategy to your advantage, many young women abroad have been learning English in school for 10+ years now. In fact I have a few teens that I chat with on QQ that have better english than my wife! Many of them just need practice speaking and they will improve everyday. There is no reason to marry a rural or city ignorant woman with no English skills at all if you cannot speak their language. You will just make a big f***ing mess of your household at some point.

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