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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
Back in Europe I always had problems getting a date because of being a little overweight, uncool and shy, but I always have a friendly appearance. When moving to Thailand since I am partly Thai I had hoped that Thai girls would be more open minded and it would be easier for.
What I noticed is that Thai women are even more shallow than Western women and since I am more of a thinking person and not so mainstream I am considered boring and nobody understands me.
Western women are cruel and arrogant while Thai women are very childish and materialistic
Am I doing something wrong? What should I do?
Thailand is a society that is highly consumer-driven and many people follow the latest fads.
This forum talks a lot about "conformity", and I would say that Thai people "conform" far more than people of the west and think for themselves far less.
As an example when I use the skyrail in Thailand I see hundreds of people squash onto the escalator to go up, but next to the escalator their would be a set of stairs that absolutely no one uses. No one stops and thinks that it would be easier and quicker to go up the stairs, there is no "outside the box thinking". (Or they are just lazy).
All Thai women care about is beauty, and in my experience Thai women are not as interesting to talk to as Vietnamese women. The Thais are obsessed with westernization and they watch Hollywood films. They watch rubbish Thai TV with cheesy advertising.
Having said all that I still prefer Thailand to the west, it has so much more going for it. Sex is easier to obtain. And no matter what anyone says about Thailand in regards to how the dating situation is not so good for westerners - it still beats the hell out of the west and I think your chances in Thailand are still better than the west.
Anyway, have you tried Vietnam? IN my experience Vietnamese women are ambitious and hardworking, and obesity is less. They don't spend their spare tome watching rubbish tv, and as a result they are mentally healthier.
Since I partly Thai I know this problem of superficiality pretty well. If I wanted to do P4P that would be no problem, but I am looking for a serious partner and I notice that the quality of the girls I work with in the office is very low. They like to buy the newest stuff which they cannot afford and talk all day about TV celebs.
However the Filipinas who work here seem to be more genuinely friendly and more prfessional in the job than their Thai counterparts.
And yes they avoid the stairs because too lazy. Imagine there are people who use a car to go shopping 100 meters from their home. LOL!
Thai women are not generally as bad as Western women. In my limited experience, they are, on average, not nearly as bad as Western women. A relative of mine was married to a Thai woman and for many years she was awesome, always trying to help out family members. (The marriage eventually collapsed for various reasons - no-one's fault really). I've heard similar stories elsewhere. But there is a problem with Western men marrying bar girls and Thai women becoming accustomed to Western manginism. The idea is to conduct your relationship in a traditional fashion and select a good girl from a reputable family through any connections you can source.
Thais are not as bad as western women..not by a long shot. I wrote extensively about the common flaws found in Thai women already but most of them are at least tolerable in relationships. It may not work because there is a lack of commonality in interests or culture but it's usually not because the Thai woman ends up being an enormous bitch like how it often happens in the west. If you can jive with the more superficial media and cultural aspects of Thais then you'll get along fine with them.
With western women I find that men often have to lean far into extremes (extreme asshole or extremely fake/nice) to get along with them.
Thats what many Thais who have lived abroad tell me too. Thai women are not too sophisticated but if you can acccept it then it would be a more pleasant experience than with Western women.
However what ticks me off is the fact that Thai women like to get the newest gadgets and like to be entertained. I am more of a relaxing type who prefers park walks etc. But I think that there are alos other kinds of women in Thailand I hope
It's more to do with Thailand than the women. Thailand is the best place to live in in SE Asia due to less hostile climate, less natural disasters, less rain (if you can believe that), a kind of democratic government, easy(ish) visa requirements, and a huge tourist infrastructure that means it's easy to get Western food and healthcare. And there are a lot of English speakers here. Never found an English speaking taxi driver in China, but there are loads here.
Wrongfred, most western men not familiar with Thai (or any other Asian) women approach them in the same manner as they do western women, thinking they're wired and programmed in the same manner. Not necessarily; The Asian (not westernized) mindset is very different from the western mindset.
However, I wouldn't expect Thai or any Asian women (unless college educated or westernized) to be interested in carrying on a intellectual conversations, let along be interested in a intellectual type man. I recall a saying among Asian women along the lines "Men who are hard on top are soft on bottom", in other words, the perception is: "Smart men are boring in bed."
Check out www.stickmanbangkok.com. Read the "Readers' Submissions" as they have some very interesting insights into the Thai women mindset and relationships between Farangs and Thais. Here's a few submissions:
"What Farangs â€œDonâ€™t Getâ€ About Thai Women": http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader1844.htm
"The 10 Biggest Mistakes Westerners Make With Thai Girls": http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader20 ... er3336.htm
"What We Think are Mistakes Western Men Make with Thai Women": http://www.stickmanweekly.com/Reader2007/reader4752.htm
"Farang Men / Thai Women â€” A Reality Check": http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/ReadersS ... er5917.htm
Hope these help you. Of course, all the "Happier Abroaders" have great insights and advice as well..
Good luck and good hunting!
"The 10 Biggest Mistakes Westerners Make With Thai Girls"
^^ That totally fits within East European/FSU situation as well. Very much so. Those 10 points should be a handbook for every expat going abroad.
Yes anyone coming to Thailand should read some of Stickman's Readers' Submissions. I've yet to put it to the test but I believe I'd do better dating at home.
I've met some nice Thai ladies but also some that were shamelessly just all about the money. And sadly if you tot up all the dates I've had in China and Thailand this year (maybe 40+ now) I was doing better in China.
Although I have to say my current Thai lady is awesome ... hang on for a minute, while I met her in Bangkok she isn't actually Thai!
Thai women are nowhere near as bad as Western women.
Also, if you hang out and get to know women who are poor and needy, they're going to be the type to hit you up for money or will be straight up whores. A decent Thai woman would never dream of being shamelessly about the money. In fact, the good ones might even insist on paying for your meal or movie or at the very least, for their own. This just takes the knowledge of understanding what a decent Thai woman really is, how they'll act, and what to do in certain situations.
I've been with several girls who I thought were decent Thai women. Despite this, I tried paying them after we slept together. All declined to take the money. Then again, there have been some (especially from the Hard Rock) who insisted they were good girls and they wouldn't ask for money. As is the case sometimes, the following morning they asked for taxi fare...usually at least 1000 baht. There have been some who never said a peep about money and when I offered, they took it. But if you can't get laid in Bangkok, you aren't getting laid anywhere.
One more thing...if you act like the man, you'll be the man. No simp shit here. It's okay to be polite but there should be an air about you that they understand 100%. You aren't putting up with any bullshit, any games, or any lies. If they try anything or start pestering you for money, say good-bye. At this point, you don't need to explain shit to them, ever.
ziongmao you mentioned you met your current girlfriend in Bangkok but she is not Thai. You also mentioned that a lot of good girls you met in TL were not Thai.
Then, what country is ur current GF from and what countries are some of the other women in TL you considered good from?
I hope to settle down in Thailand some day as well.
Bao - I'm curious, have you been to Thailand?
There are plenty of good girls in Thailand. PLENTY. More than enough if you have a little cash to go out with and you're stable.
Xiongmao - it's a secret, right?
I've never been there yet, but I'd love to go and am considering settling down. Maybe when I first go I will teach English for a bit.
I've heard Thailand has more job positions for English teachers than people who apply for jobs. Such is the demand and easiness to get an English teaching job.
And YES I've found Thai women to be really hot! Especially their slightly tanned skin is pretty!
Where is it better in Thailand? Chiang Mai or Bangkok? I've seen that it's cheaper in Chiang Mai (according to the map of Living Costs in USD by Country), but where is better for experiencing the culture and of course picking up women?