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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
I know Kai mentioned in his ChineseMainland Dating guide, that Chinese women decide very quickly about whether or not they want to be with a particular man or not; Well, in my case, it certainly is the case!
My girlfriend in Shenzhen (for about a month)--is already talking about marriage and having kids and stuff, lol. Man, she's really serious too. I really like her but I think its too soon, lol. She's really infatuated with me--and wants me to be in a very serious relationship with her. I like her too, but maybe I will tell her to wait until our relationship lasts for more than two years before deciding to make the 'big decision.'
Last edited by zboy1 on December 7th, 2013, 3:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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They sure do decide quickly.
But if she's not the one, bale out as soon as you can.
My wife and I dated for about 3 months before we got serious. However, once it became serious, it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the final result would be marriage. I remember going to meet my wife's family for the first time, about 3 months after we dated. I told my students about this in class, and I heard one big collective "Ahhhhhhh!" coming from them. I couldn't really figure out why my students were making such a big deal out of going to meet my wife's family. One of my female students then informed me that when a Chinese woman takes you to meet her family, that is an almost certain sign that she is thinking about marriage. Many of my students urged me to ask her to marry soon, before my chance was up. I , however, took my time, because I was not sure of my contract or visa status renewal, and I was still unsure about living in China long term.
Hindsight being 20/20, I know I probably drove her nuts by waiting another 1 1/2 years before popping the question, but it still worked out for the best regardless.
Keep up the good work, ZBoy.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde
"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
I just don't know how you can get to REALLY know a women inside of 6 months. They can put on quite the show for quite some time. In fact, that show could go on indefinitely unless you are living together for a few months. I do like the non-westernized view that Chinese women have about marriage though. I guess the safest option (while being considerate of her views) would be to MOVE to China, date and then marry in China. Don't bring her back to the USA until she's proved herself for AT LEAST a year. I think this would be quite doable for those guys on 2-year Teaching contracts in China...
Traditionally, recreational dating does not exist in Asian cultures, the only time men and women get together is to get married. This is in stark contrast to western countries where people will date for years without ever talking about marriage. Most Chinese women may only have one or two serious chances to get married in their lifetime so its no surprise they will try to make a mad dash to the alter. If a Chinese woman isn't married by the time she's 25 then her chance of getting married is very low. Also, being introduced to a Chinese girlfriends parents is the same as making a wedding announcement so be careful.
Repeating this nonsense won't make it true. I think you guys just like the idea of there being lots of desperate older women as it would mean more women being available to you but that just isn't how things go down in China, or anywhere else for that matter. Women over a certain age in China who are single are single for one of two reasons. They don't want to get married or they have really really high standards. When a woman in China says she doesn't have any marriage prospects she doesn't mean that no guys want her, what she means is that no men who drive an expensive car and own property in a nice area who are at least good looking enough want to marry her. Any woman in China can marry an average guy with an average job, but that isn't good enough for many of them. Even a lot of poor migrant workers in China would only consider a man with a "house and car" and that's just one of their minimum requirements.
A lot of my expat friends in China said they did better with women at home and I met a disturbingly large number of local men who never have even been on a date or kissed a woman. Most of them didn't seem to have much standards from what I gathered. I'm one of the many who didn't have any luck in China at all and some of the women who rejected me were 28-33. Some of these women were supposedly interested in foreign guys and I met them through my social network, I just was not good enough for them.
Last edited by The Professor on December 7th, 2013, 3:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
They don't want to get married or they have really really high standards. When a woman in China says she doesn't have any marriage prospects she doesn't mean that no guys want her, what she means is that no men who drive an expensive car and own property in a nice area who are at least good looking enough want to marry her. Any woman in China can marry an average guy with an average job, but that isn't good enough for many of them.
The above is true for any country, PH included
proves that there is no easy country for beta male
I disagree, men control marriage not women. Woman have a shorter shelf life especially in Asia. It doesn't matter if you reject a Chinese woman or she rejects you in the end she still doesn't get married but you can easily get married even if your older. I see 60 yr old foreign guys married to 20 yr old Filipinas in the Philippines. These guys are having the best sex of their entire lives and had no problem finding a good wife.
Nonsense and wishful thinking. Women initiate the vast majority of divorces.
Actually there is a huge difference. If a Chinese woman is rejecting a bunch of guys that means she has options but she is remaining single by choice. She has options, even though those guys are not good enough for her high expectations, she still has plenty of options. There is a world of difference between that and them not being able to get married, which is what you're implying here.
Easily get married? Women want nothing to do with me in China. I never got anywhere, let alone to the point where I could ask a girl to marry me.
In any case where the man is more than a decade or so older than the woman you can be certain that the marriage is solely based on money and the woman is screwing around with younger men.
Last edited by The Professor on December 7th, 2013, 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It's not that she is Chinese. She is a woman. Women are more emotional than rational.
You are probably f***ing her too....
And from your description, it seems like (it could be or not) that is is very inexperienced with men.
Or.... that she might be one of those Chinese that she really wants to get the f**k out of China.
(please don't view this like I am putting you down or anything.. just giving you my two cents)
I agree on the older man and money parts 100%. As far as these woman screwing around with younger men, that is common but not ALWAYS the case. Attraction is what it is and old men just aren't as attractive as younger men (unless the younger man is ugly/fat to start with). I wish I was 30 again as I consider that my absolute physical peak. It is all downhill from there...with the possible exception of $$. That is the ONE benefit of old age IMO. Some women will be happy just being able to be taken care of by their older gentleman...and they won't cheat. Others will like that financial stability, but crave attention from younger men. I think this goes for every country...good and bad everywhere.