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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
Generally speaking, dating a single mom can be a risky venture but there are exceptions. I married a single mom last year, I never intended to do so. I chose her over thousands single women I chatted with online.
The Dangers Of Dating A Single Mom
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When Stephen keeps to social issues, I tend to agree with him. When he dives off into race and political issues it gets dicey...
Single Mothers in all but special circumstances should be avoided at all cost.
What are those exceptions?
1) As he noted, its unlikely if her children will love you, especially if there's some dysfunction between her and her children. If you must date a woman with children, find one with a child under five and without the father actively in their lives. If the relationship works, you'll always been seen as "Daddy" because they wouldn't have known anybody else but you in that position.
With older children there is a certain level of resentment, I know I am a product of a divorced parent getting remarried. My Stepfather has his own children from his previous relationship. This is the ideal arrangement for women with older, aware children. They should be looking for a man with experience in raising his own children.
For men with children this is your best shot in-country of hooking up with a decently young and attractive woman especially if she had them fairly young (under 21 years of age).
2) Women who learned from poor family planning. In other words they stopped having children for the time being, no more than one child. They have continued their education and are striving for a higher paying position than they currently have.
You can tell if they have things under control with some simple math. For example you need about $30K a year to live comfortably in LA, but she needs about $35-$40K a year with one child, based on a child will cost $100,000+ from age zero to 18. IE if she's working a service sector job and she's not management, that's a red flag.
Its very likely she depends on some sort of public assistance. This is not an issue if they are under 25, but if they are around 30 and still working as a checker or stock person, run, don't walk unless you like investing in children that aren't yours. If you take a chance on a woman like this, you better sh*t test her till the cows come home to make sure and its all likely she'll accept a little mental abuse because if you're a good catch (a guy that makes good money, comes straight home from work and doesn't beat her) its worth a little bit of sh*t testing if it will keep you around.
Remember, you are the man and its likely you'll earn more money over your lifetime than her and it should be an honor to be called Mrs Joe Public and take it seriously.
3) These factors do not apply to every region of the world. He used the example of a poor Thai woman who was a single mother and I think that's a poor example (pun intended). Didn't I just say a woman who is a single mother should be able to take care of her own child (1) without any assistance from the Government unless its law.
For example many countries have 3-5 years paid maternity leave, usually half what their regular salary is and the Government fills in the rest. The first five years of a child's life is the most important to their development. We are slowly coming around to that in America and it benefits men too so don't whine about it, you'll be able to get paid time off as well to help your wife raise your child by doing some things around the house like dishes and changing diapers.
Same rules apply, the father must not be in the child's life you don't want any interference. One thing I forgot to mention is that she MUST be willing to have a child with you. What the hell is the point of hooking up with a woman and giving up your right to have a child because she has some already?
As I keep saying, you are a man, act like it. You have demands and desires, stick to them. If you want children, then she must agree to have a child and must be able to have children and you will take her to a doctor to make sure she is able to have children. Tommy Sotomayor has been caught in a web of a older Black woman who said she could have another child and turned out at 42 she could't have any; she knew all along, it was a lie!
Above all, the truth is, there are a ton of childless woman in the Former Soviet Union; even if you're over 45 you do not have a pick a woman with children.
The majority of working class and poor Latin women will have at least one child. Stephen was able to find one without a kid, so it is possible. The good news is they usually had them young, even if they have one or two most will want at least another one. With more educated women, this is harder like elsewhere in the world, the poorer you are the most kids you tend to have, the richer you are fewer children are born. So a middle class Latin woman with two kids and about age 30 is just like the US unlikely to want anymore children. But in Latin America, wider age gaps are possible, so if you are say my age 43, I can still get a woman about 25-28 with or without a child and they will only have one.
Recently on an IR dating site, I found two different 25 year old women with three kids and they were White not Black.. The children were mixed though and they were never married. These woman are a financial train wrecks and nearly desperate for attention.
The keys are stick to your guns, you would prefer to have a childless woman, but under some circumstances single mothers are acceptable; at least you know they can have children.
Its very possible you could hook up with a perfectly healthy childless woman who had some problems with her reproductive system when she was young and by the time it came to have a child, it was difficult, expensive or impossible.