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How do you cold approach Chinese girls? What do you say?

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How do you cold approach Chinese girls? What do you say?

Postby Winston » Tue Jan 07, 2014 8:14 pm

Yesterday at the Chinatown in Las Vegas, I saw many hot FOB Chinese girls that did not look Americanized. But they seemed to have a cold wall and made no eye contact. I circled some of them while trying to work up the nerve to talk to them, but could not get the courage to do any cold approaches or chat ups. I wish Rock or Monkro were with me. They are better at thinking of random shit to say to Chinese girls. For some reason, I can't think of anything to say in a cold approach to Chinese girls.

Plus, the fact that they make no eye contact makes it more difficult, because it makes them seem very closed and cliquish. The whole Chinatown felt very cliquish. It was a "mind your own business, only talk to your own clique/family" kind of atmosphere.

I kept running into this group of hot young Chinese girls in the supermarket. I said hi to them but they did not respond. I don't know if they heard me or not. Then outside the supermarket I ran into them again and saw them sitting on the curb waiting for a ride for a long time. The universe seemed to give me the opportunity to approach them since they sat on the curb for a long time. But I couldn't do it for some reason. I tried to force myself to, but it was like trying to jump outside a plane with a parachute. Your legs freeze and you just can't do it no matter how much you try to force yourself! Damn. I hate that.

I always regret blowing such chances. But during the moment, I freeze up and can't do it no matter how much I want to. So I circle around and risk looking creepy because I can't work up the nerve to approach them. I can't think of anything to say either. I don't know why I'm like that with Chinese girls. Something about them is different from white European/Russian girls. Different vibe.

Then later at a little indoor mall in the same plaza, I saw this tall perfect looking girl. I couldn't tell if she was Chinese or Korean, but her face was a 10, very symmetrical, like a girl in a beauty magazine. She was way out of my league. I stood near here too, and could not think of a way to approach her or talk to her, even though I wanted to badly. I was way intimidated. Damn. You guys should have seen her. I wonder if Rock or Monkro would have been able to approach her. What would they say?

My theory is that approachable girls have a different vibe than unapproachable girls, and you can feel it very strongly. That's been my experience. Am I right?

Is my problem with these Chinese girls that I lack guts? That's what PUA people would say. Or is it that they just carry that cold unapproachable vibe that AW commonly have, and so it felt very unwelcome to try? Or is it just my imagination?

How do you cold approach Chinese girls? What do you say to get the ball rolling? I can't think of anything to say for some reason, and I freeze up too. I hate that. Why does that happen?

I'm usually good at this kind of thing with foreign girls, but with Chinese girls in America, I get tongue tied, like it's a new and different experience that requires different types of social skills or conversation skills. Why is that? It's like the flow feels very different.
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Postby momopi » Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:50 pm

If you were in China, would you have issues doing cold approaches on women?
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Postby Winston » Tue Jan 07, 2014 10:54 pm

momopi wrote:If you were in China, would you have issues doing cold approaches on women?


How would I know? I haven't been there yet, except for the airport. But I'd imagine I wouldn't, because it wouldn't feel like such a taboo.
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Postby Ghost » Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:48 am

I am convinced with Chinese girls, there are two very good ideas:

1. Learn the language. Even if your date can "speak English," that doesn't always mean much. Chinese people seem to be especially handicapped at speaking English. Understandable since their writing system is basically hieroglyphics in the 21st century. Better if both of you speak at least some of each other's language.

2. Don't date her in China. This could get you hated or killed, especially with how many guys on here want to f**k really quickly. That could get you killed in China. Plus, China is a horrible place to raise a family. Air pollution, an oppressive schooling system, and others really make China unappealing long term. Going to get involved with a Chinese girl? Take her somewhere else.
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Postby zboy1 » Wed Jan 08, 2014 10:16 am

Well, I've stopped doing cold approaches for a while now, but when I did, I hate much better success than I ever did back in the States! Most were lovely but some were bitchy and nasty about it when I cold approached them.

Still...Chinese women don't like cold approaches for the most part. Not all, but some Chinese females get uncomfortable with men doing it. That doesn't mean you can't be successful, because, as I said, I did MUCH better than I ever did back home. And, when I succeeded, it was such a nice feeling, hahaha...
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Postby tre » Wed Jan 08, 2014 6:37 pm

Just gotta say that I really like Chinatown in Las Vegas. I used to go there at least once a week to eat when I lived there. Now, whenever I visit Las Vegas, I make a point to head over to that area.

I never approached girls there as I was usually with an Asian girl when I went. I did notice some attractive ones now and then though that seemed to be rather new to the USA.

Chinese that are from China (FOB, etc) definitely seem to isolate themselves and stick to those like themselves in Las Vegas. Even Casino workers will always have their gathering place to meet for lunch, etc. It seems that most FOB Asians do this, with the exception of some Filipinos. I guess I can't blame them too much, especially if they don't have confidence in their English speaking abilities. They want to relax and struggling with English doesn't help them do that...
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Postby The_Adventurer » Wed Jan 08, 2014 7:11 pm

Seriously, how many times are we going to keep seeing, "China is..."? No matter what follows, you are likely WRONG. China is HUGE. There are great places to raise a family, and horrible places to raise a family. There are places where you can walk up to the river and drink and there are places where the air looks you could walk up and drink.

If you don't like where you are in China, try a different province on your next contract, or travel and search on your own.

It's like a guy living in Atlanta saying, "I hate America. It's nothing but black people!"
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Postby zboy1 » Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:49 am

The_Adventurer wrote:Seriously, how many times are we going to keep seeing, "China is..."? No matter what follows, you are likely WRONG. China is HUGE. There are great places to raise a family, and horrible places to raise a family. There are places where you can walk up to the river and drink and there are places where the air looks you could walk up and drink.

If you don't like where you are in China, try a different province on your next contract, or travel and search on your own.

It's like a guy living in Atlanta saying, "I hate America. It's nothing but black people!"


I agree! As I wrote in another thread, every person is going to have different experiences in China: some positive, some negative; most liked it and some didn't. And, most opinions of Chinese women is split 50/50--which doesn't surprise me. I'm doing reasonably well, and some people aren't. It
's up to you, really. ...
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Postby Winston » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:01 am

tre wrote:Just gotta say that I really like Chinatown in Las Vegas. I used to go there at least once a week to eat when I lived there. Now, whenever I visit Las Vegas, I make a point to head over to that area.

I never approached girls there as I was usually with an Asian girl when I went. I did notice some attractive ones now and then though that seemed to be rather new to the USA.

Chinese that are from China (FOB, etc) definitely seem to isolate themselves and stick to those like themselves in Las Vegas. Even Casino workers will always have their gathering place to meet for lunch, etc. It seems that most FOB Asians do this, with the exception of some Filipinos. I guess I can't blame them too much, especially if they don't have confidence in their English speaking abilities. They want to relax and struggling with English doesn't help them do that...


Yeah the food in Chinatown Vegas is very delicious and authentic. I don't understand why they don't make all Chinese restaurants in the US authentic. I'm sure Americans would like authentic Chinese food. There are also two vegetarian Chinese places there that I go to, Veggie Delight and Veggie House. The owners there know me by now.

But the girls there aren't easy to approach. They have a cold shield and a vibe that says "Mind your own business, only talk to people you know". It just feels weird and wrong to chat up a girl or hit on her there. I don't know why.

I asked Steve R and MarkLambo to approach girls there too, but they made excuses and don't seem comfortable doing it either.

Language is not a barrier for me. I speak some Chinese and look Chinese. It just feels very cliquish there. Cold approach feels like a violation of some "unspoken law". I have chatted with Chinese women that work in the stores in Chinatown, but not the ones that are shopping there.
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Postby Everdred » Thu Jan 09, 2014 1:44 pm

When I was visiting family in Arkansas back in March 2013, I talked with several attractive girls who were from mainland China (none of which I knew prior to my trip). Most of them were students at a local university, others were waitresses, and some were just random customers in Asian supermarkets. Ironically, most of the girls I talked with were from Liaoning province, which is where Dalian (the city I lived in) is located. The way I "cold approached" them was by simply speaking to them in Mandarin. I would just say something like (in Mandarin): "Wow, are you from northeastern China? You have a very dongbei (northeastern) accent and appearance." That always got their full attention immediately, and they would look at me in complete disbelief, since one would practically never run into a semi-fluent Mandarin-speaking young white guy in Arkansas. Once I had their full attention, I would usually just tell them about how I lived in Dalian for a few years, the places I traveled to in China, and what aspects of China I liked. They all seemed deeply interested in what I had to say, and I'm 100% confident I could have at least gone on one date with all of them if I had pleased.

Mainland Chinese girls, especially ones living in rural America, will usually strongly appreciate it if you can say something positive about their motherland, especially positive things from your own first-hand experience (if you have any), since China is usually not a country the average American has much good to say about. I remember one girl I talked to, who was a temporary high school teacher and happened to be from China's Xinjiang Autonomous Region, told me how many Arkansan's talked to her as if she was from North Korea. They often playfully mocked China's backwardness and lack of freedom in front of her, but deep inside she felt offended. Although I've never been to Xinjiang, I told her about how much I love Xinjiang cuisine (which is true) and which areas in Xinjiang I hope to travel to soon (which is also true). This particular girl seemed deeply interested in me, and would often message me on WeChat while I was still in Arkansas, but I avoided letting her develop feelings for me since I already had, and still do have, a serious Chinese girlfriend, haha.

I know this won't necessarily work for you Winston, since you're a middle-aged Taiwanese American, and I'm a youngish white American, but I think it's at least a semi-safe way to try to get the ball rolling. I personally think cold approaching Chinese girls is not the way to go China, since you're totally going against the grain. Also, mainland Chinese, just like Americans, have a massive "stranger-danger" complex. However, if said Chinese girls in America, and you approach them at the right place and at the right time, say some words in Mandarin beyond just "ni hao," and you have something relative to them talk about with them, they might let their guard down.

Even though it's likely never going to happen, if I were to ever return to live in Arkansas as a single man, I know mainland Chinese girls would be the first ones I would go after when looking for a serious relationship. I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or not, but every single one of the Chinese girls I talked to in Arkansas were single (or at least that's what they told me). One common thing a few of them said was: Americans guys seem like they'd make nice boyfriends, but their lack of world knowledge, inward world perspective, and close-mindedness often overpowers their good qualities, and that's basically a deal-breaker.
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Postby Ghost » Thu Jan 09, 2014 3:57 pm

We really need more information on this forum on where to go in China. I'm in a bad province for dating. The women here are feminine and beautiful for the most part, but they don't date foreigners here, get married in their late 20s/early 30s, and don't especially seem great. Not to say it is impossible, but there are other issues here as well. The language has some issues with it...I basically got frustrated with Chinese because trying to use it with locals gets met with negative signals. Even some people acting like they don't understand you because a foreigner couldn't possibly speak Chinese now could he?!
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Postby momopi » Thu Jan 09, 2014 7:37 pm

...the supply of Chinese girls is China is far, far larger than Las Vegas, or US in general.

The US (or at least certain parts of) is good for meeting women from a variety of backgrounds, or if you want something very specific to here, like "1.5 gen Chinese American" or "1.5 gen Taiwanese American".
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Postby droid » Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:25 am

Yesterday at the Chinatown in Las Vegas


What are you doing in the hellhole called las Vegas?
Vegas is nothing but hype, it's mostly a couples' getaway destination. Other than that it's just the
same extra chumps chasing a few mediocre girls. And overrated hookers (I didn't even want to try it).

If women won't make eye contact after you attempt it a couple times, forget it. Neeext.
Some PUA will tell you to tap them in the shoulder etc... not my style.

One theory though: FOB Chinese girls in America might get stunned by the social vibe too. I've talked to a few here and they seemed cold at first, but after asking a couple questions or showing off my Chinese, I've noticed they actually appreciate it and are quite friendly.


You really are missing out on China, seriously. At least for me, all I had to say was "nihaooo"
or wave and they would respond. They're so nice I see it difficult feeling disconnected over there.
Maybe I had some exotic appeal or something, I dont' know.
It would be nice to meet you and zboy1 over there.

I asked Steve R and MarkLambo to approach girls there too,
but they made excuses and don't seem comfortable doing it either.


Lol! At least MarkLambo seems generally pretty honest IMO. He doesn't pretend to have some magical skills.
Take some braggers like HouseMD and Maverick with you and see if they can "entertain" those under-forty, non-drunk women under 150 pounds
or two grades above their looks. Lol
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?
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Postby AdmiralOfBlacks » Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:22 pm

I say just don't be Black, and even then you might have a little bit of luck here or there. I met a Chinese girl at the local Chinese restaurant that I go to after the gym. I told her about how I want to go to China, and she started to show some signs of interest. I didn't try sealing the deal though because I know that Chinese hate Black people and as a Black man, I cannot compete in this world, especially since I am not a basketball player.
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Postby travelsouth » Mon Feb 10, 2014 3:23 pm

If they sound foreign it is always safe to ask if they are here studying English or another subject at the local college. That's a simple cold approach. Then share that you have been to their country or have a trip planned. You shouldn't have to think of something super snappy like you are trying to get lucky with an AW. And who cares if they are actually in school or not. The point is just to take an interest in their nationality.

I'm surprised you just didn't hit them up. Some girls will be receptive, some will be nice and decline for various reasons, and some will be bitches. Who cares. If one turns into a cunt-bag there are plenty more at the store down the street to chat up anyways.

You should not feel bad or embarrassed about rude people. If you are polite to them and they are rude to you then you've done nothing wrong.
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