First Time On a Foreign Dating Site

[CrazyCanuck944]

So last weekend I decided to check out Christian Filipina, as I am getting frustrated with a lack of success on Match, and a few other predominantly North American sites. I've always been very attracted to Asian women, but have found very few on the NA sites. A number of months ago, I came out of a two year relationship with a Chinese woman (a real one, not online), so I'm really missing the qualities which are so different from the 'typical' Canadian white woman.

Anyway, I quickly decided to become a 'paying' member so that I could actually converse with ladies openly. I was VERY surprised when I received a phone call from their customer service dept, (a sweet sounding Filipina) offering me dating advice and asking if I had any questions...very personal. Nice touch!

I noticed that within minutes of logging in, I was receiving winks and messages faster than I could keep up with. Almost a week later, it's still the same. Now, I'm not delusional. I am NOT a gorgeous young guy (44y/o now), but I have managed to stay in good shape over the years, and was considered handsome by some in my younger days. That said, I posted a few tasteful pics, and wrote up a sincere profile of why I was here, what I was looking for, and what I could offer a mate.

In comparison, I've done essentially the same thing on Match and other sites, and receive virtually no interest...well perhaps one message every other week or so, and usually not from someone I would be interested in dating.

Sooo... I'm thinking....

1. There are very few other males on this site (unlikely)
2. I am younger and more attractive than most of the members (again, not likely)
3. These women send out a torrent of attention to ANY males (especially the foreign white ones)

Obviously, many are desperate to improve their situation by becoming involved with a 'western' man. I can appreciate that. But I really wonder how much of the attention and interest is actually for 'me' and how much is just for my ethnicity and nationality? Another other western nation guys have these concerns/experiences?

[pete98146]

Found my wife online. It's a great tool if you know how to harness it's power. Definitely some tricks to learn for a higher degree of success...

[xiongmao]

You're really not that old. I was 41 when I was in Thailand last year. When I wasn't with Falcon from the board I was sometimes the youngest Western dude in the farang bar (and sometimes the whole street).

[CrazyCanuck944]

You're really not that old. I was 41 when I was in Thailand last year. When I wasn't with Falcon from the board I was sometimes the youngest Western dude in the farang bar (and sometimes the whole street).

Yeah...I've been told I could probably pass for mid-late 30's, as I'm a N/S N/D and really health and diet conscious. I guess it all helps!

[zboy1]

I'm in my mid-thirties, yet I look like I'm 10 years younger, according to most people I know. Now, looking a lot younger than your age can be both a positive and negative, as some females prefer more mature-looking men, whereas some females prefer men that look younger.

I've had women tell me that I look too "young" for them or tell me I look "cute" for being so youthful looking. Preferences...

[E Irizarry R&B Singer]

I'm in my mid-thirties, yet I look like I'm 10 years younger, according to most people I know. Now, looking a lot younger than your age can be both a positive and negative, as some females prefer more mature-looking men, whereas some females prefer men that look younger.

I've had women tell me that I look too "young" for them or tell me I look "cute" for being so youthful looking. Preferences...

You look like mid-20s even though you have a Szechuan-food-eatery-Flushing,Queens-Chinese-take-out every-night bellie on ya? I'm not dissing, I am just asking. PS: I know you are an American of Korean heritage!

[zboy1]

I'm in my mid-thirties, yet I look like I'm 10 years younger, according to most people I know. Now, looking a lot younger than your age can be both a positive and negative, as some females prefer more mature-looking men, whereas some females prefer men that look younger.

I've had women tell me that I look too "young" for them or tell me I look "cute" for being so youthful looking. Preferences...

You look like mid-20s even though you have a Szechuan-food-eatery-Flushing,Queens-Chinese-take-out every-night bellie on ya? I'm not dissing, I am just asking. PS: I know you are an American of Korean heritage!

Hahaha...nah, I've lost quite a bit of weight since I've been in China; almost 20 pounds. I'm almost near my weight during my Air Force days....

[hammanta]

Like one guy said, online dating is a gold mine if you know how and where to look. I'm 24, decent looking, and in great shape and use it when I go overseas. Actually just met the most wonderful filipino girl on my trip a week or so ago from Filipino Cupid. Middle class girl now though came from a low income family. Works very hard at a good job, intelligent, degree, attractive, and knows how to have a good convo. She even paid for most of the meals and activities when I met her. I had been communicating with her for a few months and decided to meet her during my trip. But there are far more flukes than real ones. The girl I met and continue to communicate with told me so many stories of guys sending her messages about wanting to marry her and bring her to the states, or asking for sexual favors, that she was simply fed up with it and wanted to quit. Luckily she sent me a message. But that is what so many good girls have to deal with that I'm sure many simply lose faith in the online scene.

Online I'm down to earth, sweet, and very cultural sensitive. That's honestly all it takes. I'm a natural friendly and nice guy but at times I was simply sick of being so damn sweet, but that is generally what it takes with Filipinas. A rule of thumb I should give you about narrowing down your selections. Make sure she has a degree, a steady job, and her profile seems honest and has something interesting to say. If they take time to think about what they write then that is a good sign that they are sincere and seriously looking. I generally stay away from the low income girls mainly due to the fact that many simply want a way out and/or just are to ignorant about other cultures to get along well with me. I'm also not looking for a "slave" wife and prefer my women a little more open minded and independent.

But really don't give up. Because of my system I've met in person more winners than losers but I had to weed out a lot of messages before I was able to meet them.

[CrazyCanuck944]

Like one guy said, online dating is a gold mine if you know how and where to look. I'm 24, decent looking, and in great shape and use it when I go overseas. Actually just met the most wonderful filipino girl on my trip a week or so ago from Filipino Cupid. Middle class girl now though came from a low income family. Works very hard at a good job, intelligent, degree, attractive, and knows how to have a good convo. She even paid for most of the meals and activities when I met her. I had been communicating with her for a few months and decided to meet her during my trip. But there are far more flukes than real ones. The girl I met and continue to communicate with told me so many stories of guys sending her messages about wanting to marry her and bring her to the states, or asking for sexual favors, that she was simply fed up with it and wanted to quit. Luckily she sent me a message. But that is what so many good girls have to deal with that I'm sure many simply lose faith in the online scene.

Online I'm down to earth, sweet, and very cultural sensitive. That's honestly all it takes. I'm a natural friendly and nice guy but at times I was simply sick of being so damn sweet, but that is generally what it takes with Filipinas. A rule of thumb I should give you about narrowing down your selections. Make sure she has a degree, a steady job, and her profile seems honest and has something interesting to say. If they take time to think about what they write then that is a good sign that they are sincere and seriously looking. I generally stay away from the low income girls mainly due to the fact that many simply want a way out and/or just are to ignorant about other cultures to get along well with me. I'm also not looking for a "slave" wife and prefer my women a little more open minded and independent.

But really don't give up. Because of my system I've met in person more winners than losers but I had to weed out a lot of messages before I was able to meet them.

You sound a lot like me, lol (temperament-wise). I've noticed that nice guy sweetness doesn't seem to have much effect on Canadian (perhaps western society) women though (at least not in regards to building attraction). If you don't have 'game' and the cocky/funny attitude, success is elusive.

Unfortunately, I've yet to meet a Filipina online that has appealed to me, personality-wise. I have talked to about a dozen on Skype, but have actually been royally scolded when they have discovered that I have dared to speak to other women on a dating site! They all have appeared super sweet until this child-like streak of jealousy and emotional temperament of a 14 year old girl comes out. I don't know what to think now...

[Mr Natural]

when they have discovered that I have dared to speak to other women on a dating site! They all have appeared super sweet until this child-like streak of jealousy and emotional temperament of a 14 year old girl comes out.

If you had done your homework then you would know that jealousy and occasional childlike behavior are some of their, ummm, lesser qualities. Of course online dating is always a numbers game for both sides of the equation, and you would think they would understand that. But you will find that a lot of Filipinas are not terribly sophisticated when it comes to relationship matters. If I may make a suggestion - if you are looking for a permanent relationship with any foreign lady, do yourself a favor and spend some time learning about their characteristics. They are not all the same and finding out after you are married is not a good idea.

[Billy]

Why are OKC filippino girls far less active than cupid girls. Why has to be always a paid site?

[CrazyCanuck944]

when they have discovered that I have dared to speak to other women on a dating site! They all have appeared super sweet until this child-like streak of jealousy and emotional temperament of a 14 year old girl comes out.

If you had done your homework then you would know that jealousy and occasional childlike behavior are some of their, ummm, lesser qualities. Of course online dating is always a numbers game for both sides of the equation, and you would think they would understand that. But you will find that a lot of Filipinas are not terribly sophisticated when it comes to relationship matters. If I may make a suggestion - if you are looking for a permanent relationship with any foreign lady, do yourself a favor and spend some time learning about their characteristics. They are not all the same and finding out after you are married is not a good idea.

Well....actually I did do some 'homework' regarding dating Filipinas. I had heard and read that some had these qualities...but I assumed that it was a case of sour grapes, and not an intrinsic characteristic of the majority of the women. At any rate, I'm sure it will prove a challenge if you can't talk to more than one at a time without incurring the jealous wrath of any other women I'm interested in. Point taken though; forewarned is forearmed...

[polya]

...

[davewe]

Found my wife online. It's a great tool if you know how to harness it's power. Definitely some tricks to learn for a higher degree of success...

I had the same experience as Pete. In fact my experience came from Pete coaching me.

Nonetheless, I had the same reaction as the OP. Initially, I was receiving as many as 100 contacts/day. I started chatting and camming with girls. I asked them the direct question - "why are you interested in an older guy like me?" Now this may sound nuts cause a scammer is bound to lie, right? But interestingly I got very consistent answers from most of the girls. I swear I must have asked 100 girls similar questions and got pretty consistent answers.

To the OP - keep an open mind, and ask lots of questions. Yes some of the girls are scammers in some way or another, but many are not. When I first started I kept records of my experience. Over a several month period I received almost 2000 contacts and chatted or cammed with over 150 girls - I was a busy boy. After 3 months I determined that I was asked for money by about 20% of the women - all of whom I immediately dropped. Some asked the first chat, some the 10th, but the result was the same.

I ended my account. Nine months later I re-opened it. Perhaps I'd learned something. My 2nd go round produced less than a 10% rate of money requests.

Of course there are other sorts of scamming behavior and you should always be wary when getting to know anyone. But if you can stick with it, learn the ropes and enjoy the ride (I even found chatting with the scammers to be fun) there are great rewards.

[Mr Natural]

it will prove a challenge if you talk to more than one at a time without incurring the jealous wrath of any other women I'm interested in.

Yes indeed. It's just a big numbers game, at least at first, on both sides of the equation. You start with a large number of prospects and narrow them down, it's common sense and you would think they would understand. But I guess you have to hide the fact that you are talking to lots of other girls, sometimes telling the truth isn't taken very well. This is a real problem and I think I will start a new thread about this.