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How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

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How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby Mr Natural » Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:03 am

If you're looking for marriage, the process of online dating involves sorting through a large number of prospects and narrowing it down. But some girls, Filipinas in particular, tend to be very jealous about you talking to others. Especially large numbers of others. So do you tell them? Of course you don't want to lie, but what do you say if they ask?
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby tre » Sat Mar 01, 2014 1:53 am

Mr Natural wrote:If you're looking for marriage, the process of online dating involves sorting through a large number of prospects and narrowing it down. But some girls, Filipinas in particular, tend to be very jealous about you talking to others. Especially large numbers of others. So do you tell them? Of course you don't want to lie, but what do you say if they ask?



Put them in their place now or pay for it later.
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby Hero » Sat Mar 01, 2014 3:14 pm

Mr Natural wrote:If you're looking for marriage, the process of online dating involves sorting through a large number of prospects and narrowing it down. But some girls, Filipinas in particular, tend to be very jealous about you talking to others. Especially large numbers of others. So do you tell them? Of course you don't want to lie, but what do you say if they ask?


Boy, I know what you mean! I was chatting with a bunch of women from the Dominican Republic, and at least half of them wanted to know if I was visiting anybody else, how many women I was visiting, etc. A couple of them expected me to spend my whole vacation with just them and no other women. If you ask me, you want nothing to do with a woman like that. I mean, how childish and unreasonable is it to demand faithfulness from a guy who you've never even met before? Besides, the women who get jealous are total hypocrites, because they have no problem with chatting with multiple guys and getting visits from them. My advice: if they even ask about your other lady friends, dump them and dump them fast.
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Postby polya » Sat Mar 01, 2014 4:38 pm

Why not just lie to them and arrange many hook-ups for your holiday and then pick the best one to spend all your time with?
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Postby Hero » Sat Mar 01, 2014 4:46 pm

polya wrote:Why not just lie to them and arrange many hook-ups for your holiday and then pick the best one to spend all your time with?

They'll know that something is up when you make excuses not to see them.
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby davewe » Sat Mar 01, 2014 5:27 pm

Mr Natural wrote:If you're looking for marriage, the process of online dating involves sorting through a large number of prospects and narrowing it down. But some girls, Filipinas in particular, tend to be very jealous about you talking to others. Especially large numbers of others. So do you tell them? Of course you don't want to lie, but what do you say if they ask?


The question isn't whether Filipinas (or lots of other women) are jealous - of course they are. The question is whether they are mature enough to handle their emotions or whether they are so insanely jealous that they will ruin any relationship. I think of it as comparable to men's anger. All men are angry; a mature man can handle the anger; an immature man will let it destroy people around him.

As to whether or not to let her know you are talking to others. Before you are in a relationship, I think it's reasonable to tell you that yes, you are. If she is too inquisitive or demands to know who you are chatting with, etc. - that's a bad sign. Even if you decide to lie to her and say you are "not chatting with anyone else, baby" she will not believe you - so you might as well tell her the truth, or at least some of it.

Now after you are in a relationship, it's a different story. You'd better be prepared to reassure her that there are no others in your life or she will be a bit crazy and might drive you crazy as well.
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby Hero » Sat Mar 01, 2014 6:17 pm

davewe wrote:If she is too inquisitive or demands to know who you are chatting with, etc. - that's a bad sign.

I totally agree. That's none of her business until you've been on several dates.
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Postby Mr Natural » Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:08 pm

Lots of good responses here. I don't want to lie, and as davewe says, if you say no they will probably think you are lying anyway. But hey, if they aren't going to believe you regardless, then maybe it's better to say nothing, ignore the question and skillfully change the subject. As for kicking the jealous ones to the curb, sounds logical enough, BUT - if you come right out and tell them you are talking to 40 other women and then eliminate the jealous ones, you might find yourself all alone. Let's face it, Filipinas do have lots of good qualities, but being sophisticated and cool headed about relationships isn't something they (or most other Asian women) are known for. And I wonder if elimination for jealousy should come a little later in the process. After all, involvement with just one or two others isn't quite the same as 30 or 40.
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Postby Hero » Sat Mar 01, 2014 8:11 pm

Mr Natural wrote: if you come right out and tell them you are talking to 40 other women and then eliminate the jealous ones, you might find yourself all alone.


It's better to be alone than to get stuck with a bad woman.
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Postby Bao3niang » Tue Mar 04, 2014 1:53 am

Thuy Vo is quite jealous of me, and she constantly asks me to send her photos of myself throughout the day along with asking me "what are you doing". She's nice, and it would be good if we could continue to the point where we will really get together in real life. However, what I'm slightly worried about is her occupying my entire visit. I have some other options, but if she decides to use full control on me as soon as I set foot in Ho Chi Minh City I really don't know what I will do then.
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Postby CrazyCanuck944 » Thu Mar 06, 2014 6:23 pm

Great topic Mr.N....this is really becoming a concern for me as well. Fortunately, most of my contacts haven't asked me if I am chatting with others, so it doesn't put me into an awkward position. It did happen once, and she treated me like we had been married for years and then she caught me cheating on her. I was like, what the hell?? I've known you for three hours! We don't have a relationship...we are not dating. God, it was like talking to a child...

I don't know what it is with Asian women...my last girlfriend was from China, whom I dated for two years. I remember we went to dinner with my mom and another friend one day. Apparently, I smiled too much at our pretty, young Russian waitress, and man, did Ling let me have it. It was embarrassing, like a dog with a bone...wouldn't let it go all through dinner. She used to constantly grill me...asking how many girlfriends I had in the past, why I broke up with them, what we did physically...then she would ask again...and again...drove me nuts...I called it her 'Chinese water torture', lol.

I have no idea how a guy is supposed to be 'loyal' to one lady at a time, while receiving dozens of winks and messages every day. Maybe it's best just to pick a half a dozen 'favorites', agree to communicate with them off-site, then leave the site. Then narrow it down from there. ??

I guess that's the difference with sites like Match or POF. You just know that most of the people you talk to are talking to others. You know it , and they know it too. Nobody gets offended...and nor should they unless you are actually going out on real face to face dates and have committed to that one person.
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Postby terminator » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:30 pm

Hero wrote:
polya wrote:Why not just lie to them and arrange many hook-ups for your holiday and then pick the best one to spend all your time with?

They'll know that something is up when you make excuses not to see them.


Just tell the truth - that you've found someone better who meets all the requirements on your list.
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby terminator » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:35 pm

davewe wrote:
Mr Natural wrote:If you're looking for marriage, the process of online dating involves sorting through a large number of prospects and narrowing it down. But some girls, Filipinas in particular, tend to be very jealous about you talking to others. Especially large numbers of others. So do you tell them? Of course you don't want to lie, but what do you say if they ask?


The question isn't whether Filipinas (or lots of other women) are jealous - of course they are. The question is whether they are mature enough to handle their emotions or whether they are so insanely jealous that they will ruin any relationship. I think of it as comparable to men's anger. All men are angry; a mature man can handle the anger; an immature man will let it destroy people around him.

As to whether or not to let her know you are talking to others. Before you are in a relationship, I think it's reasonable to tell you that yes, you are. If she is too inquisitive or demands to know who you are chatting with, etc. - that's a bad sign. Even if you decide to lie to her and say you are "not chatting with anyone else, baby" she will not believe you - so you might as well tell her the truth, or at least some of it.


This is golden advice. I expect all young guys to be told this by their fathers! If fathers neglect to tell them this, it means their father is a complete mangina who should be shunned.

davewe wrote:Now after you are in a relationship, it's a different story. You'd better be prepared to reassure her that there are no others in your life or she will be a bit crazy and might drive you crazy as well.


I disagree with this. Men should move beyond monogamy which only serves women - to have a provider. Men need to have many girls and never just one option.
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Re: How do you handle jealousy in online dating?

Postby Mr Natural » Sat Mar 08, 2014 6:42 am

terminator wrote:Men should move beyond monogamy ....... Men need to have many girls and never just one option.


Yeah ok. I'm going to take a wild guess that you aren't married. :roll:
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Postby terminator » Sat Mar 08, 2014 8:47 am

Yes, I'm divorced and happy!
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