"Hi all, well my story is about the same as yours, but here it is anyway: for a long time I blamed myself for my lack of success with American women. So, I worked hard for many years to improve myself to the point where I would be worthy of a decent American woman. I got myself a Ph.D., then a job at an Ivy-league school, got myself into excellent physical shape, took up lots of cool hobbies like skiing, tennis, ballroom dance... and I was still getting rejected by women who had no business being picky! I had my epiphany when I was 33 and dating an overweight, 42-year-old, divorced mother who dumped me because I didn't have a "wild side". So then I did some traveling to (among other places) Hungary, the Czech Republic, and the Philippines, and beautiful young women couldn't keep their hands off of me! Dating is like real estate- the 3 most important factors are location, location, location!" http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail.htm
Wow, what a great news!!!
Winston, you are a pioneer. You are inspiring Asian American men everywhere to take the plunge and travel to Russia (or Ukraine or Belarus.)
Yesterday I went to see Nutcracker Ballet with a beautiful 26 year old Minsk girl I have been writing emails to. She held my hands and treated me most tenderly. Almost like a boyfriend she loves. Wow!!! Imagine that. I am a 46 year old Asian American guy who had NO American girlfriends, no sex with white American girls and of course no marriage and no family in all my life in USA. I could scarcely believe I was not dreaming throughout that date. It was so unreal that this beautiful girl treated me so well.
The plain fact is that most Asian American men are treated so shabbily by American girls. We are simply zero to them. And most Asian American men are totally discouraged IMO (in my opinion). They think they have absolutely no chance dating a beautiful girl of their dreams. Well, Winston, you have shown that it can be done. Not in USA of course, but in FSU (former Soviet Union) countries. Here, it just feels so good to be treated as a man for a change! And you don't have to be a great looking investment banker guy. Some women here just appreciate tender attention. For some women, even just companionship is enough!
I consider coming to Minsk to be one of the very best decisions I have ever made in my life. And hopefully, I will not go back to USA. I like to marry a beautiful Belarussian girl and live here permanently." http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail.htm
"I could not agree more on the sorry state of American women (in terms of dating in general). For me, Chinese women (in China) have been sooooo good, and they are thin and hot; they are well edcuated and will do everything for you. The guys who get stuck here in North America are, well, stuck. This is not even to mention the physical state of the women here; most American women over 30 are obese (not just over-weight). And they are used; who knows how many STDs they have had. I feel sorry for them sometimes.
I applaude you courage and wish you the best.
ZN" http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... =6394#6394
"I have seen that because my personality remains unchanged, as I go from country to country the reactions of women to me are incredibly different. Why do I attract women in one country and not in another? Because of different cultures and values that they have vis-a vis men. When I lived in Russia as a teenager, girls would write me notes, come and see me in the house even if uninvited, tell their friends how much they were in love with me. When in America, all of that suddenly was gone and women would pass me by steely-eyed with not even a look of curiosity on their faces. I simply stopped existing as a man." http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=2412
"I've never been to the Philippines, Winston, but after spending a month in Thailand I'm willing to believe everything you say about it.
It's not hard to meet girls in Thailand, it's hard to get rid of them. Not just bar-girls either - although there is a delightful abundance of those - but regular Thai women. There's a rumor that Thai women won't marry Western men, that only the lower classes do, and so on - but it's not true at all. Thai women of all classes are interested in Western guys.
That said, the girls from the north, from Issan chiefly, figure disproportionately in the plans of farangs (Westerners) because these girls are the ones who work in the bars and massage parlors of Bangkok and Pattaya, and to the Western eye they're very attractive, despite the Thai preference for lighter skin as noted in my earlier post.
That was my first trip abroad, Winston, and it has convinced me that your position that Western guys can have a better life in other countries is absolutely correct. More men die of happiness in Thailand than heart disease, cancer, and stroke combined..." http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1898
â€œI was very nervous around women, I found it nearly impossible to engage a woman in a conversation. I was convinced that was the reason I couldn't get dates. I was angry at myself for not being able to overcome this, but trying harder only made it worse. I spent a lot of time thinking about it and went to a doctor and was prescribed anti-anxiety medications but they didn't really help.
This problem came to an unexpected halt when I traveled to Asia and within a week I learned that I am really only abnormally nervous around American women. When I thought about it, this actually made perfect sense.
When I'm in a country like Thailand or the Philippines, I know that I am desirable to the women there (I get reassured of that everyday). So even if I get turned down by a woman, she probably has a good reason to say no, and she will be flattered rather than act like I'm some creep.
When I'm overseas, I don't subconsciously feel like I'm doing something wrong by flirting with a woman.
What it boils down to, is that foreign women are an entirely different species than western women. If I had been told 2 years ago that my love shyness/social anxiety with women could be solved simply by changing the type of women that I was pursuing, I probably wouldn't have believed it. It's one of those things you have to experience to fully understand.â€ http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com ... -suck.html
â€œAbsolutely true! Every word in the 10 reasons. I was married to an American woman for 14 years. I left the marriage a hollow shell, a broken man. Why couldn't I do anything right? Everything was my fault, right? I must have been the evil bastard she described! Long story short = the AW got the house, and the 500K of capital gains (California). Not to mention my heart andf soul. I licked my wounds for 5 years, feeling bad about myself.
Then, I discovered Mexico. At the age of 42, I found a new life. I met a fantastic woman... loving, selfless, sharing, caring, and did I mention drop-dead gorgeous? I am now living in Southern Mexico, completely happy. I have been married to my Oaxaquena for 3 years, and the heat just gets hotter. We actually appreciate each other and life together is a 2 way street. She is always at my side with encouragement and support. And no, we don't place a lot of value on material things. When I am up in the states on business, or to visit my side of the family, I am quickly ready to come home. I laugh at the poor bastards I see chasing tail with their tongues hanging out. I don't give any american woman any thought except what a kid must think after the first time he touches a hot stove. I have been relieved of the sickness the shallow ones!
One need only sit in a coffee shop in a mall for 5 minutes to see the problem in its stark reality. Watch the women as they salivate over material goods and ignore everything and everyone in the area besides themselves. Do you see any smiles or eye contact going on? Absolutely none. In Mexico, smiles, personal greetings, hugs, kisses on the cheek, fond embraces are the order of the day. Contrast this with fake tits, collagen lips, and harried scowls, evil countenances, and the inability to pass up any type of reflective surface. Whattaya got? I have no use for American women. I only feel bad that I wasted 14 years of my life on one of them. RIGHT ON with the 10 rules!â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4219
â€œLast night on a foreign subway, I gave my business card to the most gorgeous woman in the world, a 20 year old college student 30 years younger than myself whom I had only said a few words to about her dressing very stylishly. Then I got off the subway car saying please send me a text message sometime.
Just as the doors were closing, she jumped off the subway car asking for clarification about why I gave her my card. The subway pulled away.
Five hours later, after dinner, we were holding hands while walking along a river.
Her education level was way, way above the best Harvard student I have dated (and I have dated a number of Harvard students).
I could not have been happier about my decision to live outside the US.
The above would NEVER happen in the New York subway with someone raised in the US on CNN or Fox News to be paranoid and scared of her own shadow.â€
From YouTube comments about Global Dating and Foreign Women:http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=v4yVrx2QYzo
realteruchan (3 days ago) Reply | Spam +2
â€Nonsense. I've been to many places, like China, Japan, Philippines and America and the idea that the women are the same in each is foolish. It's like four different species. And it can't be about financial status. Tokyo and Shanghai are rich first world cities and the women there have no desire to go to the U.S. Yet is easy to pull hot women in both cities. Not AS easy as the PI, sure, but compared to America, it's a cakewalk.â€ http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kdIOibpEmTM
â€Social economics doesn't explain why the dating scene is so much better in Shanghai or Tokyo where it is equally easy for an American to date hot women, even successful women. They certainly have no desire to go to the US. I have always had a great time in China and Japan. Compared to America it's a cakewalk. There has to be more to it.
Actually I know many guys who find the dating scene in France and Germany leagues beyond America. I find the same in Tokyo or Shanghai.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4517
â€œThis reminds me of when I worked in Hollywood, there were all these stewardesses from all over the world working at the same company. There was this Filipina girl there that drove me wild. She was so gorgeous ( I thought) ! I was gonna go crazy. But she had like 4-5 boyfriends and I could not compete. Then she dumped me like a sack of potatoes. Then, when I finally ended up in the Philippines 3 years later, and looked back at those times, I could see things from a different perspective- she was just an ordinary girl - but, boy, within the context of the US, she looked so exotic and desirable. I eventually ended up dating model quality girls in Manila that would make her look very plain and unsightly. Oh, that location, location, location thing. How true it is!â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4742
â€Hi all, I'm Jon. I've lurked around here for a while and finally signed up. I'm a youthful 40, in great shape ,and own a few web businesses. I lived for about 10 years in Northern Europe, where I have friends I still visit; and I'm considered quite social and charming there. But...I moved home to the US a couple of years ago, and for the first time in many years, found that I had virtually no social or dating life.
Perhaps it's because I stayed gone so long, but when I returned to the US, it seemed socially awkward, shallow, immature and (if I'm honest) culturally backwards.
I appreciate Winston doing this site because frankly, I know he's right. Before I moved abroad my social life in the US was a 2 out of 10 (at best). When I moved abroad all that changed dramatically, and I made true friends and dated gorgeous women. Actually, I lost my visa to stay in Europe, otherwise I probably would never have come back.
I've been back a couple of years and I've really tried to make things happen here. But now I have finally had enough. This year (2009) I'm planning to leave the country. I haven't decided exactly where I'll go yet (I'm considering a few places), but I do know that I'm definitly leaving, and "sooner rather than later."
I have seen the quality of my social and dating life go down significantly here in the US, and frankly, life is too short for this bullshit. You know what they say: once you get used to champagne, it is tough to go back to kool-aide. J
If anyone wants to chat and/or share info about moving abroad, please be in touch. I'm social and cooperative by nature (as opposed to paranoid and competitive). Perhaps that's WHY I don't fit in the US?
â€I completely agree with you mobstersreport. I have a very similar siuation. I'm 40, no kids, divorced years ago, in excellent shape, own my own web biz, well-travelled and educated, but I'm finding myself "stuck" in America with practically no social life whatsoever.
I left the US once before, back in the 90s -- I moved to Scandinavia, and discovered what I had been missing all those years. I'm a decent looking guy with a good head on his shoulders, but I never had any luck with American women whatsoever. But in Europe, I discovered I could finally be myself, and there were All kinds of attractive, natural, intelligent women interested in me.
Unfortunately, I lost my European residence visa a few years ago and had to move back to the US. Since that time, my social life has gotten consistently worse, and I find it hard to relate to the brain-dead mentality that dominates here ( I'm in Florida by the way).
Ironically, women that I wouldn't give a second glance to in Europe seem to think they're too good for me here in the states. Of course, many of them wind up married to some abusive inbred redneck, and then divorced with a few kids in a couple of years. You reap what you sow...
So I've find myself in the same boat you're in -- looking for way out, and just trying to decide where to go and how to proceed forward. I'm very lucky in that I have an established internet business that pays the bills, so I can work from anywhere in the world. I've been considering heading over to the Philippines and checking that out, but an acquaintance of mine has also got me interested in Brazil.
Either way, I'll be making a decision soon and getting the F out of here. J The Philippines seems to have the most relaxed visa regulations, making it possible to stay there almost indefinitely if you work within the system, So that's certainly a big plus ( The lovely ladies are another of course).
Which brings me to my last point: it's tough for a lot of guys to just up and leave the U. S., even though they know in their heart they'll be glad they did and their life will improve once they've done it. So I think people like us should stick together and join forces whenever possible. Traveling the world or relocating to another country can be challenging, but it becomes a lot easier when you have a like-minded "wing man."
So if anyone on here is in a similar situation and would like to compare notes, or potentially even buddy up to travel, please be in touch. I'm open to suggestions.
Finally, I know Iâ€™ve written a short novel here as a first post, but I want everyone on this site to know that Winston is 100% right. I have lived abroad and seen the difference in my social life, in how it made me feel inside; and I've also seen the antisocial lame-ass dating scene in the US, and how it undermines a man's confidence and inhibits his ability to simply be himself. It is an absolute shame, and no man should have to live that way.
Thanks for a great site Winston. You're doing a service to all American guys by exposing the limited possibilities for happiness and social connection in the US.
Also going abroad in 2009,
â€œSo true! I went to SE Asia 3 months ago, My Social life went from 0 to Rockstar overnight. America is a dead place, Just GO! and get on that airplane. Life is better abroad, I'm making plans on fully moving to Asia this year.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail.htm
â€œWinston, you're absolutely right about foreign women vs American "women". Foreign women are far more cultured, intelligent, sociable and sophisticated than American women. I can honestly say that once you meet a foreign woman, you will never go back to an American woman again. You've mentioned this in your forum, but this trip abroad confirmed everything you said. You're absolutely right. Keep up the good work.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail.htm
â€œAfter reading all your ebooks and following your advice to visit Lithuania I did and met the love of my life. I really give you credit because you are 100% right. I'm never dating or going with a shallow, superficial american woman ever again. I would also like to let you know that I am getting married in MAY 2008. Keep up the good work Winston you do inspire people.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/Love_Adven ... ppines.htm
â€œThen the second girl called me and said these words:
"Hello, my name is Inday, we met in the jeepney. I told all the girls in college about you and they all want to meet you."
Yup! They ALL want to meet me.
I went to a department store and again it was chuck full of little miss Universes- sales girls. I approached a counter and they crowded me.
" You are so cute. Your face is so cute". Then on another occasion I was paying for some stuff that I bought and the cashiers started whispering something. I though something was wrong. The answer was: "Very handsome"." Who, me?" "Yes, you". "What is so handsome about me?" "I don't know, maybe it is your tantalizing eyes". And they started laughing.
I could go on and on and on. I would sit down and relax and girls would pass by and whisper to each other pointing me out. The word I learned was "gwapo"- handsome. Once I was just crossing the road. Four young ladies linked their hands and would not let me through. Sales girls from stalls would call out- "Hello, Darling!"
After a few days, I noticed something different about me when I looked in the mirror. My eyes were no longer sad as they used to be. I was smiling for real. Because this was the way a man should be treated. Appreciated. Desired. Women should seek him out and not the other way around. Rejections and maltreatment by women in the US or anywhere else where cruel women live harm the man from within. Rob him of his dignity. Slowly eat away at his self-respect and the sense of self-worth. Make him ill on his inside. He may not show it but permanent scars would form on his inside. My time in the Philippines was like some magic ointmet for those scars. They were finally gone!
A place like that was not planet Earth the way I knew it. At least it should not be planet Earth. It was a Shangri-lah.
At night, my nightlife would start. I would go to bars and karaoke establishments and there would be girls everywhere and not many guys. The girls would crowd me. They were so gorgeous I was out of breath.
In the US, if you go to a night club, you always see more guys than girls and the guys look glum and pissed off. The girls look like they are princesses even if butt ugly. Here it was different. The guys looked friendly and non-threatening. Most were just relaxing. No competition. Enough girls for everyone to go around.
Eventually, I took three girls who were working in the karaoke and we went to a resort where we rented a hut on the beach under palm trees. If there is a heavenly situation that one can imagine, it would probably be falling alseep in a bamboo house while listening to the surf and the wind rustling in the palm trees while being hugged by three angelic young ladies from the South Seas...
That's living!. No amount of job satisfaction or professional achievement cannot bring you close to the sense of fullfilment that such experiences can bring.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/FanMail.htm
You are 100% right about european women and american women
It is so easy to meet women in europe.
If you are well traveled, well spoken and educated you will meet the nicest girls
I traveled all over europe. I dated the most beautiful women.
I married a beautiful girl from the Ukraine.
I wasted years on carribean cruises, and should have gone to europe.
I support your comparison 100%.
American women don't get it.
In my travels I would say in europe the toughest girls are Czech and French.
Russians, Latvian, Ukrainian are the nicests and sweetest.
â€œWow, I thought it was my imagination or something.
Last year I spent a month and a half in Europe and the whole time I was there I experienced an ease and comfort in social interactions that led me to keep thinking to myself: "Whats been the big deal all these years?....theres nothing wrong with me at all"
At the time I mistakenly thought that I had just finally broken through some sort of personal hang ups that had previously been holding me back.
About a week after returning home I realized that it was going to be back to the same old shit.
I actually broke down in the street crying.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4278
â€œWinston's blogs and photojournals are epic! I have a new internet hobby now: reading Winston's stories.
I'm moving to St Petersburg in the new year and as I was researching I came across Happier Abroad, and I couldn't agree more with the overall message.
I'm a 32-year old Canadian guy and I am actually fairly attractive (so much for modesty) and educated and so on. I spent 2 years teaching English in South Korea and I was engaged to my gf of 6 years, until she cheated on me last year. Well, I'm back in Canada and I think my experiences in Korea messed me up, because I find women here so damn unapproachable. There's a lot of beauties here and in the U.S., but what is up their asses?
I'm a "nice guy". I don't let people walk all over me but I'm not about to go out and hurt others, either. I've been back in Canada for a couple of years now and I am sick and tired of North American women. I remember how warm and friendly and flirty Korean girls were, and how fiercely loyal those people were to their friends, and I miss that.
So, I'm giving up my well-paying job here and going back overseas and I don't know if I'm ever coming back. If I can find someone to marry and raise a family with, all the better. At the very least I'll be somewhere where people aren't such a-holes. If Russia doesn't work out then I'll move on somewhere else.
Winston is absolutely right from my experiences. I had to go somewhere and then come back to see the light, but I definitely see it.â€http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread647213/pg1
â€œHoly crap!!! Spot on!
I was born and raised in America. And totally miserable and depressed most of those years. Now I live in Russia and go to university there, and I finally feel happy. I feel like I belong with Europeans.
Girls are so sincere and totally awesome in Europe, especially Russia. I was intimidated at first, because Russian women are totally the most gorgeous in the world in my opinion, because I knew how American girls would act with that type of beauty. One of the first times I was at a bar in Moscow, a beautiful woman approached ME and we actually had a meaningful conversation about travel and poetry. Ended up dating her a bit and now still great friends with her. If I was in America, I would have to approach the girl, act like a tough guy for a bit, and we'd end up talking about The Jersey Shore before having some meaningless sex.
I've met many Germans and Italians too.... very easy females to talk to. They don't tend to have large "I know I'm hot" egos, and are some of the most loving people I've met.
Sorry, I'm a sellout...
Give me European girl any day over an America.
The article's totally true.â€http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=10563
â€œnice website. my story of leaving america.
let me tell you about myself...
my life in america was not too happy. i did not have a wife or gf. i did not get laid. i was depressed all the time. my life generally sucked. american women just wanted something that i didn't have. i'm attractive, but that just wasn't enough. a little shy, but it shouldn't have been that hard to find a young woman sooner.
i decided something had to change. so i took a trip to south east asia at 25 and what can i say? wow! Shocked
when i got there i got laid everyday with beautiful women. i did not even have to ask to get laid! that is how easy it was. in fact, i met my wife almost instantly after i moved here permanently. wow! something that seemed so impossible in america was instantaneous in thailand. Shocked
what surprised me about the women was how much more feminine, younger and lovely the women here in asia are. the women actually behave like women! (not like men Rolling Eyes) they take great care of their appearance. everywhere i go i see stunningly beautiful women who smile at me! that is not an exaggeration. the difference between here and america is like night and day. america is truly an awful place for a man. i suggest you leave! Arrow
today i live in thailand with a beautiful young wife and son. i think if i continued to live in america i would also have 20 years of loneliness.â€ http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8005
â€œ- A Colombian girl told me about her trips to a few American cities (Houston, Chicago) while she was visiting relatives. She called the social environment there "mierda" ("shit"), said that people were very cold, unfriendly, and work-obsessed ("puro trabajo"). She said that although it's a great place to study and to avoid nasty civil wars, she likes Colombia better due to its social atmosphere.
- A Salvadoran friend told me that when you converse with the girls there, "you feel like you're in love." I asked him, "How about the US?" He answered, "No. Not really. No way."
- Similar comments from Mexican immigrants about the "gabacho" (white Anglo) mentality.â€