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Rock, how do u resolve this conflict of interest in dating?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Rock, how do u resolve this conflict of interest in dating?

Postby Winston » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:10 am

Rock,

Curious question for you:

When you date a girl, you are doing it for fun, enjoyment, and the variety and adventure of dating different women, etc. Same as me.

But usually, women do not just casually date for fun or adventure, especially serious Asian women. Their motivation is to find someone to settle down with and start a family in a stable home and environment. They want routine, stability and predictability in a partner, family and home life. And they only have a certain window of opportunity to attain this while they're still good looking.

But you and I are seeking adventure, variety, freedom, fun, stimulation, interesting experiences, etc. when it comes to women and dating.

Thus, when you date women, there is a conflict of interest in that your motivations are different than theirs.

How do you handle that? Do you handle it honestly, with some deceit, or by humoring them and stalling until you can't anymore?
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Re: Rock, how do u resolve this conflict of interest in dati

Postby Rock » Wed Apr 16, 2014 11:34 am

Winston wrote:Rock,

Curious question for you:

When you date a girl, you are doing it for fun, enjoyment, and the variety and adventure of dating different women, etc. Same as me.

But usually, women do not just casually date for fun or adventure, especially serious Asian women. Their motivation is to find someone to settle down with and start a family in a stable home and environment. They want routine, stability and predictability in a partner, family and home life. And they only have a certain window of opportunity to attain this while they're still good looking.

But you and I are seeking adventure, variety, freedom, fun, stimulation, interesting experiences, etc. when it comes to women and dating.

Thus, when you date women, there is a conflict of interest in that your motivations are different than theirs.

How do you handle that? Do you handle it honestly, with some deceit, or by humoring them and stalling until you can't anymore?


Dating around is like an interview process. We enjoy it but ultimately we are looking for someone who stands-out above the others. So you date a bunch of girls, narrow it down to a short list of gals you really like and who like you back. Hopefully after several more dates, you find someone you could imagine yourself with long-term. That's how you get a girlfriend.

After you've had a girlfriend for a few months or longer, you may feel satisfied, ala Everdred who's been with the same Chinese gal for like 6 years now in Bangkok of all places. If she keeps him contently monogamous amidst all that temptation, she must be some gal, at least to him.

But, perhaps you get bored the way you did with Diane. Then you can move-on and start dating again. Just thank your lucky stars you are not married (tho having a mutual kid keeps you together at some level).

Late teens to early 20s girls are under less pressure and will just angle for bf/gf if they like you. Mid-20s to late 20s feel more time pressure so they might not wanna waste too much time. 30 up often have given up and once again, can enjoy dating with less expectations.
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Postby drealm » Wed Apr 16, 2014 8:27 pm

Any woman you date should be treated as marriage material. You should pay the father money if you screw her and don't marry her.

There's no reason to turn good women into sluts when prostitutes are available.
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Re: Rock, how do u resolve this conflict of interest in dati

Postby Winston » Wed Jun 18, 2014 1:03 pm

Rock wrote:Dating around is like an interview process. We enjoy it but ultimately we are looking for someone who stands-out above the others. So you date a bunch of girls, narrow it down to a short list of gals you really like and who like you back. Hopefully after several more dates, you find someone you could imagine yourself with long-term. That's how you get a girlfriend.

After you've had a girlfriend for a few months or longer, you may feel satisfied, ala Everdred who's been with the same Chinese gal for like 6 years now in Bangkok of all places. If she keeps him contently monogamous amidst all that temptation, she must be some gal, at least to him.

But, perhaps you get bored the way you did with Diane. Then you can move-on and start dating again. Just thank your lucky stars you are not married (tho having a mutual kid keeps you together at some level).

Late teens to early 20s girls are under less pressure and will just angle for bf/gf if they like you. Mid-20s to late 20s feel more time pressure so they might not wanna waste too much time. 30 up often have given up and once again, can enjoy dating with less expectations.


But that doesn't address my question though, at least not directly. How do you deal with the conflict of interest?

Say you do hit it off with a girl and you like her a lot. At that point, she will want to settle down into a home and routine, whereas you live for freedom, variety and adventure by nature. Thus there will be a conflict of aims and motive. See what I mean? How do you resolve something like that?

That kind of conflict happened with your long time ex in Taiwan right? See what I mean?

Women by nature are nurturers. They want to settle down in a comfortable home life. They don't thrive on freedom and adventure, unless they are spoiled and westernized. But even if they do, it's only for a while.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Re: Rock, how do u resolve this conflict of interest in dati

Postby Rock » Wed Jun 18, 2014 6:51 pm

Winston wrote:
Rock wrote:Dating around is like an interview process. We enjoy it but ultimately we are looking for someone who stands-out above the others. So you date a bunch of girls, narrow it down to a short list of gals you really like and who like you back. Hopefully after several more dates, you find someone you could imagine yourself with long-term. That's how you get a girlfriend.

After you've had a girlfriend for a few months or longer, you may feel satisfied, ala Everdred who's been with the same Chinese gal for like 6 years now in Bangkok of all places. If she keeps him contently monogamous amidst all that temptation, she must be some gal, at least to him.

But, perhaps you get bored the way you did with Diane. Then you can move-on and start dating again. Just thank your lucky stars you are not married (tho having a mutual kid keeps you together at some level).

Late teens to early 20s girls are under less pressure and will just angle for bf/gf if they like you. Mid-20s to late 20s feel more time pressure so they might not wanna waste too much time. 30 up often have given up and once again, can enjoy dating with less expectations.


But that doesn't address my question though, at least not directly. How do you deal with the conflict of interest?

Say you do hit it off with a girl and you like her a lot. At that point, she will want to settle down into a home and routine, whereas you live for freedom, variety and adventure by nature. Thus there will be a conflict of aims and motive. See what I mean? How do you resolve something like that?

That kind of conflict happened with your long time ex in Taiwan right? See what I mean?

Women by nature are nurturers. They want to settle down in a comfortable home life. They don't thrive on freedom and adventure, unless they are spoiled and westernized. But even if they do, it's only for a while.


If a girl decides she likes you and wants to be with you seriously, she may date you for awhile even if you claim you are not serious. Many figure that they can change you (tame you) over time. So the relationship may last 6 months, a year, or even longer before she ultimately gives up (assuming you don't change). Thing is, many guys manage somehow to get domesticated and end up getting married even though they didn't intend that outcome when the commenced dating.

Right now, I'm hoping to settle into a relationship with one girl who makes me forget all the rest. Serial dating becomes a lonely lifestyle. I don't think many can be truly full-filled with just that in the longer run. Some have their cake and eat it too (understanding wives). But as challenging as it sounds, perhaps a monogamous relationship with the truly right one is the happiest path. The married expats in the Philippines sure all seem happy.
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Postby Cornfed » Wed Jun 18, 2014 8:46 pm

The solution seems obvious. Don't "date" females if you are not planning to settle down. Just rent hoes and hook up with sluts.
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