Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Look at what this guy says about USA women vs foreign women

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Look at what this guy says about USA women vs foreign women

Postby jamesbond » Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:49 pm

This is an interesting topic I found on another discussion forum where an American guy is wondering why foreign women are so much easier to meet and date than American women are. Here are some excerpts from that discussion forum.

Is There Something Wrong with American Culture That Makes Dating So Hard?

So don't take me as a misogynist, because a lot of what I'm about to say is quoted from a Greek guy I meet last night. I was at a lounge last night (not a exactly a club; no dance floor, better lighting, more relaxed ambient music) And there were a lot of beautiful women there, but as usual, they were all either on dates, huddled in their tiny circles or surrounding only 1 guy. There were no girls there solo (as usual).

I was at the bar waiting for an opportunity to speak to a girl, any girl, in my viscinity for like 15 minutes (a pause in a conversation; a girl coming in by herself; a girl leaving her girlfriend behind to go to the bathroom, etc) but it wasn't happening, so I finished my drink and went outside to have a cigarette before I left. There was one guy outside smoking. I asked him for a light and he offered me one.

We got chatting. I sensed an accent and asked where he's from; he said Greece. He then started complaining about how tough the bar-scene is to meet girls. I said "I hear you," but then he said that it's not only bars. He said it's hard to meet girls in America in general.

He talked about how back in Greece, the girls, aside from being very beautiful, are far more welcome and accepting of guys approaching them. He said they're lot friendlier and open, and when you're dating them, not as high maintenance. That, and they're far more open to sex; they give in don't look down on or shame men for wanting to have sex early.

He then said something that came and hit be very hard. He said, "Maybe it's because I'm not that all-American blonde guy from the Abercrombie catalogs. I love America, but this country seems to be very good at producing prudes, princesses and bitches."

I didn't think much about it at the time. We went our separate ways soon after that. It started sinking in on the way back home. I thought about all the girls I've dated over the years. I realized that the vast majority of them were girls from other countries studying here the US or girls I met while studying abroad overseas.

The foreign girls were far more open and kind to me talking to them; they were less high maintenance. They were more interesting to talk to and far more open to sex. And even to those foreign girls who rejected to me, they were far more sensitive and gentler than the American girls (laughing at guys or straigh-up stonewalling seems to be the popular method in this country).


Here is the link for that discussion forum

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romanti ... ng-so-hard
Last edited by jamesbond on Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
User avatar
jamesbond
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7485
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:45 pm
Location: USA







Postby jamesbond » Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:01 pm

Here are some responses he received from his post.

As compared to Europe and some other places in the world. America revolves obsessively around the notion of buying stuff. That is a lot people would rather put their time and energy towards obtaining materiaistic objects or having them. People in Europe tend to be more on top of current events and more intellectual therefore making it easier to have a icebreaker.

But out of everything, I think the biggest problem we have is hyper-individualization. Everyone is on their own island, stroking their ego which in return makes them super selfish. Everyone at some point is selfish, but it gets to the point here where a lot of people are really rude, stuck up and generally hard to talk to it seems. Not saying other places are perfect and problems exist everywhere, but it becomes difficult to have a conversation with people because we are so separated from each other as a society. It seems people put a un-necessary barrier between each other which it makes it difficult just to talk to someone it seems. Don't get me wrong, I have some great conservations with people from time to time but it seems the only time people want to conserve is when they want something or its business related.

All in all, my experiences in Europe it seems that they have more of a community where people stick together more which in return makes for people being generally nicer. As compared to America, we barely having any community therefore, fueling this hyper-individualization. Again, not everyone is going to be super friendly, as their gonna be rude people everywhere. Male or Female, our problems lie on more grand social problems rather than specific genders.


Here is what some people from Europe wrote:

Your whole post is spot-on. In Europe, there is a strong sense of community, a mutual acceptance of one another, an openess and receptiveness that is very engaging and facilitates interaction on all levels. People are not as socially isolated or fearful of one another. It is very common for people to start conversations at the drop of hat and no one thinks anything of it. It's a different mentality altogether, a more laissez-faire attitude and a more embracing one.

In my experience American culture is more insular than European culture. By that I mean people on the whole dont socialize with each other. Unless you live in a city you dont regularly interact with a lot of people because you are in your car or your house. You can literally interact with no one if you try.

Example: you get up and go to work in your car, at work you sit in a cube by yourself, you go home in your car, maybe stop at the supermarket and than go home again.

On top of this there is a raging hysterical fear in the US of strangers that is instilled very young. You are encouarged NOT to socialize because they may be bad people. Are there really that many bad people or has it been greatly over blown? That I dont know.

In Europe most people know all the people where they live and they know the people in the local stores. They take mass transit most of the time. Its just a different way of living.


Here is what one guy said about how defensive American women are when they first meet a man.

A lot of women out there have a princess complex and are on the defensive way too easy..

I was at a birthday party at this guys house last weekend and there was this girl i thought was hot standing by the fridge by herself..I asked her if i could get by to get a beer and asked if she wanted one..

I figured after she said yes or no i cam make a joke or something and see if it can lead to a decent conversation..

Problem was when i asked her she gave me a dirty look and just shook her head instead of politely saying no then walked away..

Like god forbid a stranger who you may not be attracted to asks you a question or tries to start a convo and breathes the same airspace..

What makes somebody like that? Are good lookign women that disconnected from reality that they view only certain guys have the right to even talk to them?


Hell i didnt even get to hit on her yet or anyhting i asked her a simple quesiton and she was already on the defensive.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
User avatar
jamesbond
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7485
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:45 pm
Location: USA

Postby Bao3niang » Thu May 01, 2014 12:49 am

People have made love too complicated, which in the end is only hurting ourselves. God created the love between male and female as a simple bond of attraction based on companionship and desire, but us humans have added so many prerequisites to finding love to the point where it has become a battlefield. If I need to be a tactician or strategist just to have the potential of romantically connecting with someone of the opposite gender, I'd rather bail out than do things that are against my true nature.

Do I believe in romance? I'd say yes, but not as in planning special events or taking a woman to expensive restaurants and buying her a bouquet of 999 roses (actually, one of my mom's ex-boyfriends since divorcing my dad, a rich Macau businessman, did that for her once). Instead, I believe that real romance comes from the small things in life that build up mutual support, friendship, and appreciation of each other. Now some may think that I'm covering up my stinginess, but the fact is that I am not the type to do what's considered romantic by the majority. A mature man or woman will realize that romance is a puppy's game, and what really lasts in the end is friendship.

I'd very much have a woman approach me and be more proactive in the early stages of the relationship than me immediately taking the lead. I hate to lead and dominate people, so in the end it will be 50/50. Don't you guys feel tired of always being expected to initiate?
CYKA BLYAT!!!!!!
Bao3niang
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 556
Joined: Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:22 am
Location: Beijing, China

Postby jamesbond » Thu May 01, 2014 12:59 am

Bao3niang wrote:I'd very much have a woman approach me and be more proactive in the early stages of the relationship than me immediately taking the lead. I hate to lead and dominate people, so in the end it will be 50/50. Don't you guys feel tired of always being expected to initiate?


Yes, men do get tired of always have to be the "aggressors." It would be nice to live in a country (like the Philippines) where women approach men. :D

There was a poll here on this forum a while ago where someone asked if they would rather approach women or would they rather have women approach them. 82% said they would rather have women approach them.

If women want equal rights, then they need to also have equal responsibility. This means, sometimes they need to initiate things with men and not always stand around and wait for men to always make the first move.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
User avatar
jamesbond
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7485
Joined: Sat Aug 25, 2007 5:45 pm
Location: USA


Return to Dating, Relationships, Foreign Women

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests