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Is it worth going after her?

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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Is it worth going after her?

Postby TheLegendSeeker » Mon May 19, 2014 2:09 pm

I cold approached this very attractive tall brunette in a cab, surprisingly she was very receptive and
friendly which is something I've never experienced before: a very attractive woman who isn't stuck-up, hostile and an apathetic satanic c**t. Even the ugliest girl I came across didn't have half-decent attitude.
It turned out we had a lot in common, we're both expats, we speak the same number of languages (5), we both enjoy travelling and things along these lines,therefore our conversation was in "rapport mode", her body language was favorable: good eye contact, smiles and sometimes laughter, I never really complimented her but of course she could tell I was into her by my enthusiastic chat and eye contact. I didn't ask her number 'cos I was coming from a 2-week-cold-approach rampage with hurtful rejections so I needed to be explicitly sure she was interested before asking her number hence I sort of turned the tables:
Based on our delightful interaction, It was her time now to show me her interest and chase me, I got to my destination and shook her hands and smile she reciprocated smiling but here's what happened:
2 red flags:
1-she said goodbye first: "'Till next time!"
2-She didn't suggest, hint or volunteer to give me her contact details.

Since I've never met any woman like her, it might distort my perception of the obvious reality, so I need a different point of view on this situation. I won't even mention the possibility of "orbiters" or a top-tier man she might see already. here's how her body looks like except that her face is more attractive than the woman in this photo:

Image
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Postby xiongmao » Mon May 19, 2014 6:44 pm

I dated a woman in Thailand who looked a lot like her - same body, good clothes. A definite 9 or 10, but man was she hard work. And her ex thought so to as he cheated on her relentlessly.

Anyway, I guess Roosh is right - don't chase women. Well just a bit. Just don't pester her or she'll think you're not popular with other women, which is a huge turn off for them.
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Postby Introvert » Mon May 19, 2014 7:16 pm

i didn't know that who said goodbye first was a 'thing'

2 questions for you:
1 - where did this happen? Amsterdam as the photo suggests? some of the finest bicycle riders in the world there
2 - until next time implies a future meeting. any chance that she was giving you an opening so that you could, indeed, see her next time?
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Mon May 19, 2014 10:29 pm

To xiongmao:
Oh great, now I should guess how you met her and where it went wrong.


To Introvert:
1.I'm an expat back and forth between Southern Africa and UAE if that's relevant, she's half-French & half-Portuguese 9/10 in beauty scale.
2.She is an adult woman what is it that held her back to hand me her contact ?
In my 4 years of expat life I've never met a woman like her and also women like her you don't come across everyday, that's why I'm curious about her.
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Postby Introvert » Tue May 20, 2014 1:23 am

... .
Last edited by Introvert on Tue May 20, 2014 2:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Is it worth going after her?

Postby The » Tue May 20, 2014 1:41 am

TheLegendSeeker wrote:Based on our delightful interaction, It was her time now to show me her interest and chase me, I got to my destination and shook her hands and smile she reciprocated smiling but here's what happened:
2 red flags:
1-she said goodbye first: "'Till next time!"
2-She didn't suggest, hint or volunteer to give me her contact details.

Since I've never met any woman like her, it might distort my perception of the obvious reality, so I need a different point of view on this situation.


TheLegendSeeker wrote:1.I'm an expat back and forth between Southern Africa and UAE if that's relevant, she's half-French & half-Portuguese 9/10 in beauty scale.
2.She is an adult woman what is it that held her back to hand me her contact ?
In my 4 years of expat life I've never met a woman like her and also women like her you don't come across everyday, that's why I'm curious about her.


You kinda answered your own question my brotha..... You know good and damn well that ain't no woman gonna just volunteer her information like that man.... thats not the way it goes....you're the man.....you gotta make the move.....that's the reality....And if your so curious about this woman like you say are, then the next time you see her you better get that number.....Otherwise, your gonna be kicking yourself for the next twenty years because you didn't seal the deal....and even if by chance she rejects you at least you'll get closure...

8)
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Tue May 20, 2014 1:51 pm

@ Introvert: why did you delete your post? you made a noteworthy point though.
@ I had just explained why I didn't ask her number.

I should also mention that I've stopped approaching women in general ever since my 2-week cold-approaches, and also any woman can just fake a smile and just pretending enjoying an interaction but the ultimate sign of interest would be if she still chased me especially after me being so pleased chatting with her. If I can just find a valid reason to go after her I might take the plunge.
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Postby The » Tue May 20, 2014 2:19 pm

TheLegendSeeker wrote:@ Introvert: why did you delete your post? you made a noteworthy point though.
@ I had just explained why I didn't ask her number.

I should also mention that I've stopped approaching women in general ever since my 2-week cold-approaches, and also any woman can just fake a smile and just pretending enjoying an interaction but the ultimate sign of interest would be if she still chased me especially after me being so pleased chatting with her. If I can just find a valid reason to go after her I might take the plunge.


Well again like I said before....you mentioned in two posts that you were curious about this woman....well if your so curious then you got to make that move....shes NOT going to chase you! Why should she?!? Get over that fact.... And who cares if you got rejected 2 weeks in a row....that is NOT relevant to now and this woman who you claim to be curious about....I think in your heart you know exactly what you have to do....DO IT!
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Wed May 21, 2014 12:33 am

At the end of the day it will depend on her interest in me, it's no use going after a women who couldn't care less about you, even more so if she has other options to explore. Quite frankly you can't even prove me wrong and point out a obvious sign of interest from her part.
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Sat May 24, 2014 10:23 am

.
Last edited by TheLegendSeeker on Sat May 24, 2014 12:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby publicduende » Sat May 24, 2014 10:46 am

TLS what you have experienced is a casual conversation with a stranger in the mood to talk. The fact you had a few shared experiences and views kept the conversation going for a little while, until she felt it was time to part ways and left.

I agree with you that women who tip the scale in terms of attractiveness tend to be stuck up and distant, but there are also lots of women who are not. She was one such specimen. If she had wanted anything more from you she would have expressed it, perhaps with the same spontaneity as the rest of the conversation. Or perhaps she would have expected a move from you, and for same reason you didn't take it.

Connecting with people is like starting a fire - a single conversation can spark a big burning fire, but a small fire is fragile and need to be fed carefully and properly to grow up and self-sustain.
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Sat May 24, 2014 11:26 am

1. That's exactly what I thought, maybe I'm just over-reacting because it never happened to me before I became so used to women being cold and apathetic particularly to men who they aren't interested in.

2. I've been to relaxed social gatherings including travel lodges full of attractive foreign women and yet they still were apathetic unless they felt like they wanted to know someone, they'd usually approach subtly.

And yes, the noteworthy point is that if she was interested she would suggest to see me again naturally. That's what I was hoping for at the end of the interaction.
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Postby publicduende » Sat May 24, 2014 12:23 pm

TheLegendSeeker wrote:1. That's exactly what I thought, maybe I'm just over-reacting because it never happened to me before I became so used to women being cold and apathetic particularly to men who they aren't interested in.

2. I've been to relaxed social gatherings including travel lodges full of attractive foreign women and yet they still were apathetic unless they felt like they wanted to know someone, they'd usually approach subtly.

And yes, the noteworthy point is that if she was interested she would suggest to see me again naturally. That's what I was hoping for at the end of the interaction.


I guess you're from the US. If I have to believe the going narrative on this site (and many others), most of you guys are socially/emotionally starved and that explains why you often read too much into something that the other party will consider a standard casual chat to fill the space of a coffee break, or a bus ride.

This is not to say those conversations may spark something else, but by experience I know, unless you look like Zac Efron with the class of Sean Connery, you will have to do most of the work to make that chat the beginning of something more special.
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Postby TheLegendSeeker » Sat May 24, 2014 3:15 pm

I agree with your first point to a degree, while being "socially starved" has an unfavorable impact on social interactions
I don't think it would blur the line between interest and friendliness, I can tell them apart and so can many lonely men who are at least observers.
and are you saying that they are cultures where everyday a female can be so open and friendly to the point of talking about her personal life with ease to a stranger?
which bring us to my next point: if a woman who I had lots of common interests and a delightful chat didn't seems to be interested then, what else on earth does it take for a woman to be genuinely interested in a man?
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Postby publicduende » Sat May 24, 2014 4:41 pm

TheLegendSeeker wrote:I agree with your first point to a degree, while being "socially starved" has an unfavorable impact on social interactions
I don't think it would blur the line between interest and friendliness, I can tell them apart and so can many lonely men who are at least observers.


Well it does make men "slightly" keener than girls, doesn't it? :)

TheLegendSeeker wrote:and are you saying that they are cultures where everyday a female can be so open and friendly to the point of talking about her personal life with ease to a stranger?


Absolutely, yes. In most countries with a Spaniard cultural imprinting, including Colombia and the Philippines, it's quite common to meet a complete stranger (usually a woman) and 5 minutes into the conversation she's already opened up about her family problems and even some of her own? You said that girl is of Mediterranean descent...it does explain why openness is probably in her social DNA.

TheLegendSeeker wrote:which bring us to my next point: if a woman who I had lots of common interests and a delightful chat didn't seems to be interested then, what else on earth does it take for a woman to be genuinely interested in a man?


Maybe a bold move from the man? :)
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