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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
Seems like the first couple months of the relationship was great, but then declined sharply. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with a foreign woman who has a much lower sex drive? I'm tired of feeling rejected almost every day. My drive would dictate once a day or every other day, whereas her drive would probably be about once a week. However, it was much higher at the start of our relationship.
I know she's had negative sexual experiences in her past, but I'm almost certain the problem is more due to the fact that she believes she already won me over.
fschmidt wrote this article, which I think is helpful: Male sexual fidelity is the ultimate shit test
Two thoughts on this topic.
First, all the women I have ever met (both Asian and non-Asian) who had negative sexual experiences in the past, they all seemed to have a lot of psychological issues getting past the negativity and as much as I would try to help them get past it or go slow, it would never get better. At this point, if I find out that a lady has had negative sexual experiences, as much as I might want to help her, I have learned that I'm never going to have a satisfying sexual relationship with these women and it's better to pass them up. So just a warning from my experience, the sex may never get better with your Asian lady with negative sexual experiences.
Secondly, most of the asian women I've dated are slow to get in bed the first time - almost like they play hard to get for that first time in bed, BUT once you clear that first experience with them, many (not all) of the asian ladies I've dated are closet freaks and seem to really enjoy sex. I've had some really wild and crazy sexual experiences with asian women which keeps me coming back for more. Given that experience, generally when I meet an asian lady who shows a low sex drive after the initial hard to get in bed period, I typically keep it to a short relationship. There is no sense chasing an asian lady with low sex drive when there are so many that really enjoy sex and have a very healthy sex drive. If you have a low sex drive, then maybe you will be fine with a low sex drive asian lady, but if you don't have a low sex drive, why settle for an asian lady with a low sex drive.
So to answer your question directly, what can you do to increase the lady's sex drive, NOTHING - they either like sex or they don't. The ones who like sex won't need much encouragement to keep you satisfied sexually. The ones who don't like sex, there's not much you can do to make her like it. Play the hard to get game to get her in bed the first time, and make sure she enjoys that first time in bed, but after that, you shouldn't need to do much more to have a great time sexually with many asian women. At least that's my experience.
I've been with women who were abused as kids, etc, and they loved sex just fine.
I think you nailed it with that last part. She's already won you over. She no longer needs to be a freak. Honestly this is how women think. She already DID that for you, dammit.
FSchmidt's article, that DRealm linked to, is right on.
Concidentally it is EXACTLY what I tell young friends who are inclined to monogamy: never promise it. Because that keeps life interesting for a woman, gives her a reason to take care of herself, gives her a challenge. Plus, you never have to lie, ever.
In your situation, just take some three-day (or longer) trips without her. Go snorkeling, visit friends, ride a motorbike, whatever. And follow FSchmidt's advice. Be clear, in your own mind, that you'll decide whom you'll have sex with. And if she asks, be clear with her.
That should warm her up when you get back.
If not, you'll still be on the right path.
Joke, of sorts: Why is the bride smiling at her wedding? Because she knows she's given her last blow job.
Good advice and it also plants a seed of uncertainty in her mind.
Don't know whether your woman is a Filipina, but I've found they are very cognizant of the fact that if they don't keep their man happy, he can and will find someone else who will be more than happy to replace her. I think that subconscious insecurity manifested in the her psyche is the reason why Filipinas are so willing and horny. So long as you represent security in her mind and she understands that there is the possibility of her losing that security, she'll do her best to keep you interested and satisfied.
In my 7 years of living in Asia not once did any woman I was with initiate sex with me. Even when I told them I would love it if they did. No woman in America has since I left university either though. It's been 13 years since any woman ever initiated sex with me. It seems like women don't have sex for fun all that much after they leave school.
[quote="Taco"][quote="Bstyle"]This seems to be a very common problem with women in Asia. I lived in Asia for 7 years and could never find a solution to this problem. I think women generally get bored of sex fast though.[/quote]
If your girlfriend loves you she doesn't get tired of having sex(subtle hint #1).[/quote]
Amazing, Taco is so far away and yet he hears what your Belle is saying.
Ding ding ding. Taco is the only one here with the correct answer, the other guys are clueless. Listen guys, women (and men) want sex with whomever they find attractive and like. If your woman hasn't initiated sex with you in a long time and you find that no woman has even initiate sex with you in years, it's not them and it's not Asian women that's the problem...it's you. It means you are a boring, nonsexual being to her. The old stereotype that women love to sleep with bad boys is somewhat true. They excite women and get them wet. Obviously, you guys don't don't excite them.
Women want to be with high value men, if possible. If you're just another plain ole' boring, out of shape foreigner in a hawaiian shirt like the other countless chumps that land in Manila or Bangkok, you're not going to impress them. At most they'll just use you for a walking ATM machine. Just because you skip a continent and no longer in the land of superfluous American women who want to have their millionaire prince charming roll up to them in a Rolls Royce, doesn't change the basic nature of women. Repeat, WOMEN WANT HIGH VALUE MEN.
So what might be the problem with me, you ask? Well, are you fat, out of shape, dress sloppy, relatively poor, a doormat, etc? If so, fix these issues. If you fools have the sex appeal of Winston Wu, you are in big trouble. Also, the most common issue that most dumb (white) chump foreigners get into are relationships with bar girls or former bar girls (hah). They think they can win them over or have normal relationships with them. Here's some news, hookers are way different from "normal" women. Any woman in general with a history of high number of sexual are unable to bond with their partners, through a neurological chemical called Oxytocin. That means you should always get them young and inexperienced, if possible.
I am a terrible person.
Thanks for your support.
The first time I had sex with my wife she ripping my clothes with reckless abandon after which she got on top and raped the shit out of me. This pretty much how it goes down every time we do it and 4 or 5 sex positions too. Its been two years now and she still initiates sex at least half the time. Just in case your wondering I finish last after giving her multiple orgasms, very important! Great sex, rice is on table, house is clean and the kids are taken care of which means I have nothing to worry about. Its obvious my wife loves me.
The lesson is this, once you satisfy a woman's emotional needs she'll do anything you want. The best way to do this is send them love letters by text and email and small gifts that's what makes their nipples hard, nothing sexual at first but you can slowly build up to it. If the girl your dating has had a lot of boyfriends the love letters may not have the intended effect and it might be best to move on. However, for most Filipinas this will work very well and for women of other nationalities too.
Some women have low sex drives. hello guys women are all different. Most aren't that horny, some are very horny, some are only very horny once in awhile. Filipinas are no different than any woman in the world.
To assume a girl will always have a great sex drive when she wasn't born that way is not possible. Some girls are beyond hopeless.
Besides my barhoe would give crazy sex for me (i had to usually initiate though so I figured out she was probably faking the cumming most of the time since she never initiated) and did she love me? Of course not. You guys are idiots most of your filipina girlfriends are whores and have been blown out by other men and she is acting on you.
Agree with newlife and taco, some women just have low sex drives. Some women also have high sex drives. Ditch the low sex drive ones and find one of the plentiful high sex drive ladies. My experience is that all of the PUA, alpha, high value, flag capturing nonsense that men resort to in the US is just not needed in Asia where women are much simpler generally than their spoiled, game playing American counterparts. Women in the US love to play nonsense games so men in the US resort to their own form of game to out game the US women. You just don't have to work that hard in Asia has been my experience and if you do, she is probably the wrong lady for you. As taco said, take care of her emotional needs and she will give you anything you want. To each their own - whatever works for you is best.