Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
I agree, studies show that women who are divorced have a great deal of emotional baggage and do not make suitable marriage partners. As a matter of fact, the divorce rate for second marriages in America is 60%. For people on their third marriage the divorce rate goes up to 70%.
I avoid divorced women like the plague. I also avoid women with children like the bubonic plague!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I agree. I don't want to even meet divorced girls , let alone marry them. In fact, I wouldn't marry any woman. I don't involve governments or religions in my relationships and I don't even sign contracts for cell phones, let alone girls. I try to avoid even having relationships past FWB.
It's because he has previously shown that he can appeal to and take care of a woman enough for her to marry him. Men who can one woman automatically have much better chances of getting more women.
As to the OP's question, no, I would never marry a divorced woman. Why would I? I will either have a virgin wife, or if that never happens, periodic sex with hookers and short term girlfriends.
I don't believe in accepting leftovers. And if there were no virgins left in the world, I would easily make the choice to never marry.
That's a violation of the golden rule and bad for the 'economics' of the availability of virgins. If you sleep with girlfriends, using them up before they marry, but then want a virgin for yourself.
I'll answer my own OP.
When I was single, I wouldn't have married a divorced woman because of the words of Christ, "and he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery." So divorced women were not in my consideration set. I also did not want to marry a woman who had lost her virginity unless she was a widow, and I wasn't too interested in widows.
One of the problems with marrying a divorced woman is the increased chance of divorce. I just don't get why men who have never married never go for divorced women. It makes no sense to me at all. Especially if she divorced because she didn't feel like she was in love or they just couldn't get along. Having an affair with a married woman and then marrying her is incredibly dumb. Why would she stick with you? You might as well write out a check for half your assets and have it ready.
My wife and I had a conversation a while back about what the other would do if either of us died. My wife doesn't know if she would remarry. She would be extremely picky. She didn't know if she could go for another American man besides myself.
I told her I might go to Indonesia, maybe the Philippines, to find a good wife. I speak Indonesian. I wouldn't have to mess with deprogramming a woman with a feminist mindset. It's tough enough to deal with female stubbornness from nature when there isn't the 'nurture' problem as well.
We've got a bunch of kids, so a widow with a child who knows how to take care of kids or a younger woman who grew up raising her brothers and sisters and loves kids might be a possibility. An older unmarried (30 or so) woman whose 10 or 15 years younger than myself and still striking who grew up raising kids but did not have any might be a possibility.
I wouldn't want a woman who had slept around or who had been divorced. But being a widow wouldn't bother me if she'd been faithful to her husband (who hopefully had been faithful to her and hadn't had any diseases) and hadn't messed around before or since. A widow would be able to tell you what the dymanic of the relationship between her and her previous husband was like.
For some of you older guys, a widow with no kids might not be a bad match. She'd have an idea of what her sex drive is like and you could try to ascertain whether she was the submissive party in the relationship or the one in control.
If a man does want to marry a single mother, I'm not against that. I don't think it's wise for a lot of men who have no experience raising children and don't know what they are getting into. I don't mind being the relative that other relatives kids are left to if there is an accident. I'm thinking of possibly taking a niece born out of wedlock into my home again if I move back to Indonesia. I don't think it would be a bad thing for a man to marry a widow and raise her kids. But I don't get why a man would want to marry a divorced woman or a single woman who has a 'baby daddy' always dropping by. The dynamic is just too weird and it's hard to make decisions for your household when one of the children or more is really under another father's parental authority and just living under your roof. Then, seeing some guy all the time who had slept with the woman you are with is just messed up, IMO. Some people think that's okay. To me it's not.
I think, it depends on the country and the legal situation. In Western countries to date a divorced woman - often with children - is plainly crazy.
She will compare you with her former husband and other lovers, and you will be kept responsible for HER kids, and even risk that the former husband/father of HER kids will use visitation rights and show up frequently.
There is even cases known where after a while the woman left the follow-up husband and REMARRIED the former husband etc. etc.
Yes, I agree, such women in Western countries are an absolute NO!
But this is a forum for Happier Abroad.
In Asia the situation is quite different, divorce is not a business, and there are women who were truly treated badly and abandoned out of various reasons, not their fault.
if you are a Western man, alone and already in retirement, let me say around 55 - 65 and prefer to live in an Asian country, and she is around 25 to 40 and looks for a new start away from her family and former living area, you might try. -
Never bring such women - often from rural areas - back to USA or Europe.
Some foreign men made very good experiences with those divorced women - it seems it's working out well, I know some of those couples being together 10 years or longer, no troubles despite the Western man is getting really old.
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