Would you marry a divorced woman?

[Ghost]

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[MrMan]

Let's say a woman divorced because her husband cheated on her. Why did he cheat? He's responsible for messing around. There are some guys who can get it every night at home, but still want to have sex with the secretary. But there are also men who won't go looking around if their wives satisfy...or sexually exhaust them. Chances are if he cheated, he didn't sexually exhaust him. And there are chances she didn't satisfy him either.

Some men are violent, get angry at life, and hit their wives. There are other men who hit their wives if they are mouthy, controlling, nagging or irritating. If a woman divorces her husband because he is abusive, could it be she is a bit difficult to get along with? It's not always the case. Some men are just violent, but it's something to consider.

If you marry a woman who has been cheated on or beaten up, you may have to deal with her emotional scars and trust issues.

For my faith, though, Jesus said, "... and, he that marries her that is divorced commits adultery." I married a woman who'd never been married. If I'd have found out right before I proposed or married her that she'd been married and divorced, as much as I loved her, I'd have broken it off. Fortunately, she hadn't. (And she was fairly young when she married, too.)

[MrMan]

As to the OP's question, no, I would never marry a divorced woman. Why would I? I will either have a virgin wife, or if that never happens, periodic sex with hookers and short term girlfriends.

That's a violation of the golden rule and bad for the 'economics' of the availability of virgins. If you sleep with girlfriends, using them up before they marry, but then want a virgin for yourself.

No, no, my short-term girlfriends would not be virgins. I won't sleep with a virgin unless I'm marrying her. I've had the opportunity to have virgin girlfriends but didn't pursue it because I don't want to marry yet.

I don't get why you are waiting so long. Do you not want to have children, or do you want to see them graduate from high school when you are 70? If you marry a young virgin when you are 50, she will probably want children. If she's the type who says she doesn't want children, you can count on that changing a few years into the marriage.

Why not just do it now? Your missing out. I wonder how often you P4P guys have sex if you have to pay for it. If you go from girlfriend to girlfriend, there have to be some breaks? I wouldn't imagine you'd consistently have sex three or four times a week for most weeks out of the month if you are paying for it.

And coming home to a home-cooked meal, and someone else to do laundry and mopping is all good stuff. If you want to get married, why wait until you are kind of old? It just doesn't make sense to me.

[Hero]

Some men are violent, get angry at life, and hit their wives. There are other men who hit their wives if they are mouthy, controlling, nagging or irritating. If a woman divorces her husband because he is abusive, could it be she is a bit difficult to get along with? It's not always the case. Some men are just violent, but it's something to consider.

If you marry a woman who has been cheated on or beaten up, you may have to deal with her emotional scars and trust issues.

Besides, why did she marry an abuser in the first place? I can't believe that he was a perfect gentleman before the marriage, and only started beating her after the wedding. Could she be one of those women who rejected nice guys with a sneer while she was still dating, because she thought they were boring or wimps? If so, she's getting her just desserts now.

[Hero]

I don't get why you are waiting so long. Do you not want to have children, or do you want to see them graduate from high school when you are 70? If you marry a young virgin when you are 50, she will probably want children. If she's the type who says she doesn't want children, you can count on that changing a few years into the marriage.

And coming home to a home-cooked meal, and someone else to do laundry and mopping is all good stuff. If you want to get married, why wait until you are kind of old? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Some of us have no choice but to wait. Only a foreign woman, who hasn't been corrupted by life in America, will cheerfully do her wifely duties like sex, cooking, and cleaning. You have to have a sizeable nest egg to set up a life in a foreign country. And it takes time to amass that kind of wealth.

[newlifeinphilippines]

I don't get why you are waiting so long. Do you not want to have children, or do you want to see them graduate from high school when you are 70? If you marry a young virgin when you are 50, she will probably want children. If she's the type who says she doesn't want children, you can count on that changing a few years into the marriage.

And coming home to a home-cooked meal, and someone else to do laundry and mopping is all good stuff. If you want to get married, why wait until you are kind of old? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Some of us have no choice but to wait. Only a foreign woman, who hasn't been corrupted by life in America, will cheerfully do her wifely duties like sex, cooking, and cleaning. You have to have a sizeable nest egg to set up a life in a foreign country. And it takes time to amass that kind of wealth.

you guys are kind of slow. The point of waiting is so that when your 50 youll have a 25 year old wife and when you hit 75 shell be 50. Instead of marryinag 25 and when your 45 she also is 45. Who wants that LOL. thats one more reason why i dont feel guilty for letting girls go in my 30's cause i know in a few years they will still be the same age 25 or whatever

[Ghost]

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[MrMan]

I don't get why you are waiting so long. Do you not want to have children, or do you want to see them graduate from high school when you are 70? If you marry a young virgin when you are 50, she will probably want children. If she's the type who says she doesn't want children, you can count on that changing a few years into the marriage.

And coming home to a home-cooked meal, and someone else to do laundry and mopping is all good stuff. If you want to get married, why wait until you are kind of old? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Some of us have no choice but to wait. Only a foreign woman, who hasn't been corrupted by life in America, will cheerfully do her wifely duties like sex, cooking, and cleaning. You have to have a sizeable nest egg to set up a life in a foreign country. And it takes time to amass that kind of wealth.

I don't buy into the 'only foreign women make good wives mentality, though I think some countries have a better chance of producing a good wife. There are still virgins in the United States looking for a man they can submit to, seeking to raise a family and care for the home. If you are looking for a foreign woman, you could date an immigrant, depending on where you live.

If you saved up, you could also bring a woman back. It's not inevitable that she will be corrupted. Not everyone chooses to think like the dominant culture. My wife is a Christian, and we realize there is a lot wrong with our culture. She doesn't agree with everything from the dominant culture of her country, either. If you get a kind of secular-minded girl, she may just absorb what people in her surroundings believe.

I know a man who was middle aged who asked a Korean pastor in a Korean speaking church if he knew of any single women. They matched him up with a middle aged single Korean woman and he married her. I know a man whose about 50 who's like a thin, pretty Indonesian who is 40 or older. I asked a Filippino pastor if he knew of any single people that age group. I tried to tell the guy people from these groups tend to marry off young. He might find someone like that in Indonesia. A really pretty one like he's looking for is kind of rare whose never married at that age. He might find a widow if he were over there. I tried to talk him into lowering his age range down to the 20's, but he'd feel like a dirty old man. I told him if I were in his shoes, it wouldn't bother me.

If you are looking to retire overseas, you could live there as an English teacher. I don't know if there is a market for expat English teachers in the Philippines at all, but there is in some of the other countries. Korea pays about $1800 to $2000 a month plus an apartment the last I checked. I did that in the 1990s and got paid about $1600 a month plus a place to stay. Airfare was included both ways on a one year contract. I wouldn't put Koreans at the top of the list for an American looking for wives. You might find a good one, but their culture is hard to understand and it's kind of rigid rather than laid back. It's like there is one way of doing things and you don't understand it. And they speak in a code they understand, even in English, where 'let me think about that' means 'no', and dragging out making a commitment on something means no. It's a bit frustrating to me. Some of those Korean girls are really cute, though. I like the food, too. They may be a little bit modern, but when I was there, they weren't as strongly affected by feminism.

I went out for a meal with students one time, college students who were taking my course from an institute. One of the students as a girl, a nice looking one at that. One of the guys gave her the chop sticks as we cooked over the hibachi girl and said something in Korean that included the word 'yoja'-- woman. I asked if he'd said, "You cook because you are a woman." They laughed and concluded I spoke Korean. I said, 'no.' I just know what 'yoja' means and guessed the rest.

What I noticed is the girl kind of laughed when he said that. If you'd told your average college girl in the US that, she's have acted offended or grimaced. That was in the mid-1990s. I don't know if they are more feminist now or not.

It was hard to get a decent paying English teaching job in Indonesia when I was there. I did not have education certification, but a decent, somewhat related degree to the field. A lot of jobs pay under $1000 a month now, or about a thousand. When I first got there before the rupiah devalued, I was being paid about $1200 a month to work at an institute in the mid to late 1990s. Then the currency devalued, and they pegged the dollar at a quarter of its value. Lots of companies were going out of business. It was a time of major economic turmoil. I did not renew my contract and was unemployed for a while. Then I got a job paying just under $2000 a month, which was enough to live really well and to get married, but inflation picked up to equalize some of the prices with world prices after the currency drop. Now, with all the EF's paying dirt wages, it's hard to make good money as an English teacher there. I went back to school to study something else.

But if I had a degree in education and had certification in the US, I could have gotten a better-paying job, maybe $35 40k or so or more, at an international school in Jakarta. They usually provide housing. There are a range of schools. The top ones pay well. The others, not so well compared to the US but still well for the local market. I haven't been there in years, though.

Education is a niche where someone can work and earn a decent living. As far as getting a job, having a bachelors degree will get you a job teaching English in a lot of countries. It helps if you take a course to know what you are doing, though.

When you are 50, that sex drive of yours will likely be disappaited. You'll be an old man raising kids. I think if you are going to marry, it's better to do it younger and enjoy your youth with your wife.

[MrMan]

As to the OP's question, no, I would never marry a divorced woman. Why would I? I will either have a virgin wife, or if that never happens, periodic sex with hookers and short term girlfriends.

That's a violation of the golden rule and bad for the 'economics' of the availability of virgins. If you sleep with girlfriends, using them up before they marry, but then want a virgin for yourself.

No, no, my short-term girlfriends would not be virgins. I won't sleep with a virgin unless I'm marrying her. I've had the opportunity to have virgin girlfriends but didn't pursue it because I don't want to marry yet.

Even so, it's still damaging the damaged goods.

[MrMan]

It's funny that women find a man more attractive if he's divorced than if he's never been married

I wouldn't have been interested in a woman who thought that way. If you bring up the topic of marrying a divorced man to a lot of young Indonesian women, at least Christian women, they might say, "I don't want to marry a divorced man."

I suppose there might be the element of hypergamy going on, where if another woman had desired a man, that puts him in a more desirable category, but at least some good sense, ethics, self-respect etc. should override that. Intellectually, a woman should be able to tell that if someone is divorced there is at least potentially a red flag. He could be not committed to marriage, hard to live with, or at least a have made a poor choice of spouse. Some people are victims of divorce, but it takes a naïve person not to consider that someone had a hand in their own divorce. No offense to the divorced.

[Ghost]

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[Hero]

I don't buy into the 'only foreign women make good wives mentality, though I think some countries have a better chance of producing a good wife. There are still virgins in the United States looking for a man they can submit to, seeking to raise a family and care for the home. If you are looking for a foreign woman, you could date an immigrant, depending on where you live.

I have not met ONE such woman in the USA in 46 years. Are you stating something that you've observed yourself?

If you saved up, you could also bring a woman back. It's not inevitable that she will be corrupted.

And if I played Russian roulette, it's not inevitable that I would die. Still not worth the risk.

I know a man who was middle aged who asked a Korean pastor in a Korean speaking church if he knew of any single women. They matched him up with a middle aged single Korean woman and he married her.

I don't trust matchmakers. A lot of them get bribes from the families of defective women to find those women a sucker to marry.

If you are looking to retire overseas, you could live there as an English teacher. I don't know if there is a market for expat English teachers in the Philippines at all, but there is in some of the other countries. Korea pays about $1800 to $2000 a month plus an apartment the last I checked. I did that in the 1990s and got paid about $1600 a month plus a place to stay. Airfare was included both ways on a one year contract.

But then you lose out on Social Security credits. You'd be f***ed if you had to retire early for health reasons.

You'll be an old man raising kids.

Yeah, but I won't have to raise them alone. In other cultures, the entire family chips in to help raise the kids. Also, good maids and nannies are affordable.

[Jester]

Even so, it's still damaging the damaged goods.

So you never slept with anyone before your wife?

Or now that YOU'RE married, you feel entitled to set the bar higher?

[Array9]

No, I don't like picking up another man's leftovers

A man I was talking to from Indonesia said, "I don't want a second-hand woman."

+1

Is there a double standard? Yeah, slightly but women pretty much have 100% control of who they allow to enter inside them. I have no sympathy for females who give their stuff away to every guy they consider to be cute.

[thatkid1]

I'm in a crossroads with this particular female, shes 24 and she has a 3 year old child, she divorced after a year of marriage. But I like her alot she seems nice but maybe she baiting me into a trap, guys what should I do?