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I was watching Good Morning America, and they quoted and discussed a study that said that 78% of those surveyed thought the man should pay for the first date.
That's unfair if the woman doing the dating is feminist.
But if it's a traditional woman, I'd say that can be fair. It's fair if you pay for the first date or all the dates if, provided you marry, she's going to stay home and watch the kids while you are the bread winner-- cook for you, have sex with you to meet your needs, and submit to your leadership, etc. It's fair.
It isn't fair for you to pay for the first date and then she tries to control you, cuts you off separately, and treats you with disrespect if you marry.
One of the posters suggesting having Filippinas pay for some dates to weed out the gold diggers. I don't think that's a good idea. My wife is Indonesian. I paid for all our dates before marriage. I was working and she was in college so it didn't make sense for her to pay. If a woman wants to cook you something and bring it to you to eat, that's different, and it's a good way to know her skills before considering marriage. Even if the skills aren't developed, the willingness to cook is a good thing.
In some of these countries, the man is expected to pay for dates. It doesn't make sense to take American ideas of 'equality' into the area of paying for dates especially if you are looking for a traditional woman who will obey you in the marriage (creating a situation for peace and harmony for both of you.) It also doesn't make sense if you are dating a poor girl and it costs her money to date you.
There are other ways to test for greed. You can share about your financial woes and see if she orders cheap. We had to pay per minute for long distance charges. Soon after I met my wife, I talked with her on the phone quite a bit and she didn't want to talk to long for fear of running up my bill. I finally convinced her that it was no big deal. We'd go out to eat and she'd order reasonably priced items and express concern that I was spending too much on her. I reassured her, and as we went out longer, she'd spot the low priced deals of where to eat. I was taking her out to eat with me nearly every night. I had been eating alone. I could eat for $1 to $3 per person, and that was at the mall. It's a developing country.
As far as the submission thing goes, the man needs to set the tone for that from the get-go and maintain it throughout the marriage, in a loving way of course.
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