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girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.

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girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby mattyman » Tue Nov 04, 2014 5:47 pm

hI all, I just want to ask a few things regarding this girl I've been corresponding with and whether her situation is becoming more common with modern culture.

She mentioned to me that she had sex many times in the past but ALL of them were had drunk and she didn't enjoy them, didn't even feel comfortable doing them. She told me that on pretty much all of her experiences she felt pressurized, found it hard to say 'no', or thought that it was going to go somewhere; not a case of being 'swept off one's feet'. I personally think that this is quite sad and quite a shame and I have reason to beleive it's far from uncommon.

I know that a lot of people here will swear by the 'women can get sex anytime they want' dogma, but lets go a bit deeper. Are a lot of those opportunities and experiences REALLY that good? From what I gather, this girl is in pretty-much the same situation as a lot of incel guys.

This is EVIDENCE and an EYE-OPENER to how dysfunctional the western dating scene is for both men and women. It's not geared towards dating and relationships, it's geared towards casual sex.

One thing I'm particularly sick and tired of is the assumptions and generalisations about men, that if you want to get to know someone, date them (you know, the old-school courting process) then you'll be seen as weak.

I can assure you, from what she opened-up to me about, she wasn't 'turned-on' by 'alpha studs' as those PUA charlatans would have us beleive. She wasn't even attracted to them. She certainly wasn't 'dying for more' or

Yes, it may appear on the surface that 'women have it easier' or can 'get sex anytime they want'. The truth is, for getting relationships and dating, I think for many women, it's probably just as bad. As far as getting sex being easier is concerned; it doesn't necessarily mean they'll get good experiences or have their loneliness releived. So no, I think the whole 'women have it easier' thing, is far too simplistic a way of looking at things, though for some of us, it can seriously appear like that on the surface, that 'women are never lonely' they're 'spoiled for choice'.

Anyway, onto a slightly different sub-topic, a mini-rant.

I'm sick to death of the highly toxic ideas that float around in our society, such as the idea that the more one-snight stands you've had, the more of a man you are, that if you want to date, get to know someone as a person, trust them 'get' each other, then it's a sign of weakness. The idea that sex (withiout any form of emotional intimacy) cures loneliness. What rubbish!

It's this toxic f***ing drivel peddled about by charlatans, quacks and pseuds.

It is this that is fucking-up the dating scene, it's this, these widely-held attitudes that explains why so many young women in western (particularly anglo) countries have so many paranoid and damaged women and the 'all men are creeps' mentality.

If your a man, you either take what you can get, or you end-up waiting a very long time. If you're the kind of guy who's not happy with f***ing any old random, and would rather get to know someone, develop a sense of intimacy etc. then you're left in a rock and a hard-place. Either succumb to peer pressure, do what you're not happy with, go against your values, or have a VERY LONG dry spell and be looked-down on (by the myriad immature, shallow cretins of this generation). I hate the idea that if you're that ind of guy, you're somehow weak. I hate this childish mentality that the more sexual conquests you've had the more of a man you are, the more mature you are. I'm also sick and tired of generalizations about men only wanting sex.

Likewise, women are also bombarded with crap; they are told that if they're not willing to 'get in there straight away' he'll get bored and leave them. What a damaging message.

Why the f**k aren't these dysfunctional attitudes towards sex ever called-into question? Why is it, that people who express objections to the attitudes laid-out above are attacked and shamed? That is why this sex-positive culture is so powerful, it's a form of political correctness.
mattyman
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Re: girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby Ghost » Wed Nov 05, 2014 12:37 am

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Last edited by Ghost on Mon Oct 24, 2016 1:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby suprmon » Wed Nov 05, 2014 3:38 am

It may be true that women for the most part can get sex easier than men can. But as the saying goes "quality is better than quantity!" Females will tend to engage in sex with a guy because they hope it will end in a meaningful future relationship. Not because they're horny!!! Yeah, sure they screw with almost any guy they'd like, but it's like what one of the previous post said: in most instances, they probably don't like it! Many men I believe feel the same way, but unfortunately western society intimidates them to not reflect this. Western society sure has really screwed up interfering with the natural process of intimacy!!!
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Re: girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby mattyman » Wed Nov 05, 2014 2:48 pm

Honestly, do you think that this girl is actualyl HAPPY? DO you think she feels wanted, needed, or her needs for emiotional intimacy are being met OF COURSE NOT! It may appear that it's easier for women to get sex (especially of the cheap rubbish variety, but happiness and relatinships? I don't think so.

It may be true that women for the most part can get sex easier than men can. But as the saying goes "quality is better than quantity!" Females will tend to engage in sex with a guy because they hope it will end in a meaningful future relationship. Not because they're horny!!!


Absolutely, though I will add that it's more likely to happen to those women that are insecure, who'se needs for love and companionship (even friendship, dare I say?) are not being met. That+toxic promiscuous culture=situations like this.

The bottom line is, sex full stop doesn't necessarily translate into happiness, fulfilment and a cure for loneliness (as pop culture perversely brainwashes people). Yes, it maybe easier for women to get cheap crappy sex, but FULFILLING, happy relationships? I don't think so. Bottom line is, the anglo-american culture is ANTI-DATING and ANTI-RELATIONSHIP, and ANTI-LOVE.

What's more perverse is that people who want to have relationships are viewed as 'beta'. Just shws how toxicly cheap-sex-centric the dating-scene is becoming and the amount of DAMAGE it's doing to our young women. Is's nothing but the product of a popular culture that is both PERVERSE and DYSFUNCTIONAL.
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Re: girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby Cornfed » Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:46 am

mattyman wrote:This is EVIDENCE and an EYE-OPENER to how dysfunctional the western dating scene is for both men and women. It's not geared towards dating and relationships, it's geared towards casual sex.

I hate to keep linking to my old threads, but this has been discussed:
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15499

I can assure you, from what she opened-up to me about, she wasn't 'turned-on' by 'alpha studs' as those PUA charlatans would have us beleive. She wasn't even attracted to them. She certainly wasn't 'dying for more'

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=21086
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Re: girl who's had sex but never had a boyfriend

Postby Cornfed » Thu Nov 06, 2014 4:55 am

Ghost wrote:Oh, she certainly was, which was part of the reason she did it. It was "exciting," so she did it, and the culture promotes that sick behavior as well. She certainly didn't sleep with betas, did she?

Not necessarily. I often get the feeling that many Western sluts hate being used as dumpsters by omega scum and would like to be the girlfriends of decent men, but feel they are unable to do so because of the reproductive and social situation. Sometimes their flaking has a sort of "Sorry, I'd like to but it's against the rules; don't blame me, I just work here” sort of vibe. This would explain why I instantly became attractive to high quality Western sluts (if that is not an oxymoron) when I was travelling around, even as an impoverished fruit-picker. The rules are different when you are travelling. This whole society is an unmitigated tragedy for all good-hearted people. Perhaps in another realm the human souls inhabiting this place will have a reunion and laugh about these times.
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