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Discuss dating, relationships and foreign women.
Lets all just get our head out of the clouds. Yes, foreign women may be better in terms of being more mature, friendly and down to earth. But in terms of sleeping with and dating them, they are just as difficult. Im willing to bet this is especially the case with European women (which is a real shame, as I personally find them to be the most attractive.) Some other posters on here have said that this site is just a bunch of hype and that getting foriegn women isnt nearly as easy as the people who run this site make it seem. Of course Winston Wu will NEVER admit this as he is trying to sell us something and scammers never admit to scamming you. I think it would be better if we all just accept that ALL women, regardless of what country theyre from are awful. That will save all us pathetic womenless men time, money and disappointment.
When was the last time winston got laid with non pro?
We will see how he does in china, place where theres a millions of horny men who cant get any and here comes 40 something obese chinese man who wants free p***y:)
Woah.... ho there! Speak for yourself amigo. Plenty of guys here get (or have in the past gotten) plenty of women, and went abroad primarily for the thrill and excitement of a new environment, and the adventure of traveling. Only then deciding foreign women (and often their countries) are where it's at.
I do not agree with your opinion, that ALL women are awful. - However in Western countries there are only few good women and many bad women, and in countries like here in Japan, or in Malaysia or Philippines etc. are many good women, but also some bad women. It's maybe somewhat like 20 percent/80 percent, 1 good and 4 bad and vs. 1 bad and 4 good.
I was a womenless man in Central Europe, but here in Asia I found many nice females, who were interested to live with me for a long-term relationship. Women are not everywhere 'the same', and the proportion of 'good women : bad women' is significantly different when comparing Western and Oriental countries.
Legal and cultural influence also play a certain role. Only in Western countries you will find a legal situation which is considering women as 1st class and men as 2nd class citizens.
Women are the same human beings perhaps, but there are other factors that can differ, such as:
* male-female ratios
* cultural attitudes towards sex between younger women and older men
* cultural attitudes towards paid sex and variations thereof (sponsoring, mistresses, travel companions)
* legal status of women versus men
* absolute economic situation of women
* relative economic situation of women versus men.
Note that women's biological sex drive is lower than men's everywhere, so that always give a slight upper hand to women with respect to sexual relationships, all other things being equal.
Women in the developed countries do not really need men for anything except sex and there is a huge excess of single males versus single females in the younger age brackets. The result is predictable: women in those countries, especially younger women. can be extremely choosy about who they will take as sex partners.
In poor countries, women's economic situation is often truly awful, both in absolute terms and relative to men in those countries. A western man provides an easy escape from poverty, and so women's behavior changes accordingly. In other words, all the success of western men in asia, ukraine, etc ultimately boils down to throwing money on the table. This is not saying that all these women are whores. To me, a true whore is a woman who has sex with men she doesn't find attractive. I'm not sure what the name is for a woman who chooses a man with money over a man without money, assuming she finds both attractive. Perhaps "rational woman" is the right term. There is less of a cultural stigma attached to a woman being rational in this way in some countries than in the United States.
Many parts of the United States are also bad compared than the rest of the developed world for both men and women because of the shallowness of the culture. Young women are actually easier with their sexual favors in the USA, and especially in these cesspool areas, than in most of Europe. The problem is that these women are disgusting depraved soulless human beings, as are most of the young men in the USA. That in itself is a good reason to want to look elsewhere.
I can somewhat agree with this but here's my mentality.
Guys who do well overseas but fail in the US have the nice guy persona. Have probably been screwed over by an American women or 10 and want a good down to earth female. They are generally average to goodlooking, can tolerate change, relatively level headed, and just need a different cultural environment to truly succeed. They can be at times push overs but have little trouble getting along socially with others. They need a place where women are not as standoffish and who can appreciate a man that isn't an Alpha D-bag. This of course is a generalization.
Then you have the guys that are social misfits. A lot of times they tend to be just socially awkward, unfortunately ugly, incredibly shy, have some kind of perpetual self admiration or delusion, or have completely unrealistic ideals for the opposite sex. They travel abroad thinking women will just throw themselves at them because they are a foreigner and are perceived to have money. Through watching too much porn they succumb to the belief in stereotypes and desire what they've come to know. Usually they have no desire to adapt to the new culture or learn the local language. They spend their time in bars with similar guys complaining how all the women suck or stay home all night scanning through online profiles looking for the hottest chick, only to end up getting scammed. The problem isn't them they tell themselves.
Of course those are merely generalizations and guys can fall into different categories or straddle the line between the two. Guys who do well overseas generally COULD do well in the USA if they adapted the Alpha male mindset. Guys in the latter category need to improve themselves before going anywhere.
Heres two scenarios :
Guy A is a 30 year old overweight virgin who spends most of his time online playing games and scanning the web. He lacks a solid friend base and usually stays home on weekends. He's never been good with the ladies and tends to be very shy. He comes across HA and wants to try his luck overseas because he's lonely. He lands in China where he doesn't speak the language and knows little about the culture. Trys to meet women online but do to his lack of social skills, he fails miserably. Pisses and moans before heading back home.
Guy B is a 30 year old average looking guy who is tired of being pushed around and cheated on. He has a solid friend base and enjoys being social. He wonders why all the women he meets treat him wrong. Meeting girls at bars just isn't his cup of tea. He doesn't like being aggressive and prefers a more laid back and honest approach. He decides American women aren't for him and wants to try his luck abroad.
Guy B has a better chance at succeeding overseas. He's sociable, experienced with women and isn't shy towards them.
People need to learn to play to their strengths and acknowledge that they may need to improve on some things. Not every guy is born looking like Brad Pitt or has the personality of Seth Rogen. There are some guys that need to just accept that they were dealt bad hands in the looks department. That doesn't mean they should give up on women and blame the world, but they need to do things to improve themselves. For 1, stop falling for whores that please you visually.
Another, be proactive. If yah fail, try, try again. I swear the amount of ugly to average guys I've seen even in the US with pretty attractive girls is astonishing. It's because they probably weren't drowning in self despair. You may hand out your number 100 times but if you get 3 calls back to me it would be worth it. As soon as one acknowledges the fact that they are ugly, fat, have a bad personality, are a loser or whatever, is when they can start from a working level to improve themselves.
I hope you don't mind my asking, what ethnicity are you?
Yohan's a white German man living in Japan with his wife and two daughters.
And Lozoman, to answer your OP: No, women are not the same everywhere. That's a ridiculous and untrue statement that goes against the core principles of what HappierAbroad is all about. Women are as their culture dictates them, generally. When a culture is rotten, so are its women. When a culture has some redeeming qualities, its women have some redeeming qualities. Superior cultures breed superior women. Regardless of the national income.
Lozoman, what exactly are you aiming at, what do you want? What's your ultimate goal?
That post right there was well written and probably should be the popup landing page to click on before someone even enters this site. LOL
Yes, it is well-written, but he continues to make the mistake of thinking culture just happens, rather than being a consequence of technology and economic development. It's like an air-conditioner salesman went to Alaska and knocked on door after door and nobody wanted to buy from him, then he went to Arizona in the summertime and everybody wanted to buy air conditioners, so he concludes "people in Alaska are tight-fisted, people in Arizona are willing to spend money".
The reason women in poor countries are receptive to beta providers is that they NEED providing for, because they are so poor and because they have no way to work their way out of poverty, because most of the well-paying jobs in those countries still require muscle power, which men have more of than women. Once those countries are developed, women will no longer need help from beta providers and hence will no longer be receptive to their advances.
The hard truth is that maybe 50% of the women in this world have very little sex drive, and I'm talking about young women, the % is worse after menopause. In the past, this was no problem. Women like that were actually desireable as wives, since a man in the old days could marry a woman like that, force her to perform her wifely duties until she was pregnant, then go off for several years to earn money, knowing that she would still be there when he got back and that she would never cheat on him. If she refused to perform her wifely duties, the man could beat her with impunity and even kill her with impunity if she fought back. If you think about it, there is really little evolutionary advantage for the female sex drive even in primitive conditions, and it becomes something of a disruptive force under civilization.
Nowadays, a man can't beat his wife or kill her if she refuses sex. He can threaten divorce, but this is a hollow threat in the developed countries, because women don't need men's money--they can earn their own. The final result is that the all the men who want sex (most of them) chase after those women who also want sex (maybe 50% or less) and this gives rises to an enormous oversupply of men who want sex versus women who want sex. A small minority of these men will have something that gives the women "gina tingles". Could be thug-behavior, could be a fancy haircut, could be a $500 pair of shoes (the moderator at MGTOW boasted that his fancy shoes was how he got regularly laid by hot skanks), could be clown behavior--does anyone really know what makes the female mind tick and therefore what causes the gina tingles? And is there any guarantee that what causes gina tingles today will cause them tomorrow? Given how women's clothing fashion changes from year to year, who can say with certainty that their tastes in men don't also change from year to year, and that the PUAs who are killing it today won't be nobodies tomorrow?
Obviously the PUA con-men have a powerful incentive to tell you they know what causes the gina tingles, and these things can be learned, and all you have to do is pay them and they will teach you, and then you too can cause gina tingles and open the door to unlimited sex.
Rich men from developed countries can buy their way out of this problem of oversupply of men who want sex versus women who want sex, by going to poor countries. Either they elbow out the native men from access to the women who want sex in those countries, or they get women who really don't want sex to nevertheless submit to it. In both cases, the secret of their success is money, and the money is only effective because of the contrast between that money and desperate poverty. This is reality, my friends. And this is also the real story behind guys like HouseMD. Yes, "improving yourself as a man" will indeed bring lots of sex in a poor country, as long as the improvement translates to money. HouseMD would likely be a nobody in the United States, like a lot of other MDs who are single.
Thank you, Marcos, for your comment, I fully agree with you.
Yes, it is correct, about myself, I am originally from Austria (EU), native German speaker, but living in Asia since around 1972, (Malaysia) and since about 1976 I am living in Japan with Japanese wife and 2 daughters (now adults already 38 and 33), and there is also a foster daughter, who is a Filipina from Eastern Mindanao, but living in Cebu, university student and she is now 19.
Life in Asia is not for everybody, for me it was clearly a big improvement. When I read all these horror stories from married or divorced men in Western broken society, I feel sorry for them. However we are all responsible for our own decisions. Many Western men, especially those from USA are grossly misinformed and are thinking they are living in a paradise and the world around them is a place of poverty full with mail-order-brides and similar BS.
Guys on this board,
I think that you are too rough on lozoman. You think that you are showing him realism and truth, but all you on this board are doing are feeding him cold pessimism.
Please don't listen to this harsh talk. And please don't even think of paying for sex and don't even think of p4p. You deserve a better sex life than visiting prostitutes, and you deserve a much better start of you sex life than that with a prostitute.
It is true that Hollywood and Facebook are brainwashing women everywhere around the world. It is true that their influence is infiltrating Europe, Latin America, and Asia. It is true that media and internet are promoting literally impossible standards of looks and money that the majority of men are unable to reach. But I think that Europe has another 5-10 years before its women have such high standards as American, Canadian, and Australian women do. And I think that Latin America has another 15-20 years, and Southeast Asia has another 25-30 years. Until then, lozoman, I think that you still have a chance with many attractive European women. With real European women, not p4p. And you definitely still have chances with Russian and Ukrainian women. It is true that in 2000s, European women were much easier than they are now. Since then, some European women succumbed to the same trends that American women did. But not most of them, not quite yet.
Women are not the same everywhere. Their standards how they choose men depend very much on the culture they were brought up in and on the social conditioning. For example, if you watch the 1977 film Annie Hall with Woody Allen and Dianne Keaton, you will see that women did not always have such high standards back then. Woody Allen was short and skinny, and yet, his character in the film was poor too, and could land a decent looking girl in the film. Even though there was a great display of feminism in 1970s, women were better (better-looking and less materialistic) and men were worse (uglier and less harsh and lesser assholes). I agree with Winston who writes that American women started getting worse in 1980s, after Reaganomics caused the US society to succumb to greed and materialism. After 1980s, trends such as increasing obesity epidemic, increasing amount of GMO foods, rising economic inequality, shrinking middle class, all this led to American women to become the way that they are now. So, lozoman, there is hope that less materialistic and less competitive societies will be able to provide you with the romance that you truly desire.
I am the same height as you. I live in Saint Paul, Minnesota, and I see scores of beautiful slender women coupled up with men who are our height or shorter. There are whole areas inside the city, where you have an educated, classy, slender woman, one who has a great amount of choice of men. And very often, their boyfriends or husbands are men of average height. It seems from what I observe that more superficial and more shallow women reside in the suburbs and less educated neighborhoods. In fact, there is a rather visible group of attractive women who prefer men who are only 2-4 inches taller than them, because they say that similar heights make kissing and sex easier. In the Highland neighborhood in St Paul, I saw a couple in mid 20's with the attractive wife of 5'3 and her husband of not more than 5'6.
Let's consider non-obese, non-ugly women in different countries. My estimate is that over 60% of American women, over 75% of European and Slavic women, over 90% of Latin women, and over 99% of Asian women would not dismiss a man of height 5'10 as being too short.
So, please ignore all the pessimistic advice about p4p.
And you, newbgold, are feeding Lozoman dreams that will make him more depressed in the long run. Lozoman writes that he is "nearly 28 and have still never been in a relationship or been on a date". He probably has some combination of shyness and sexual hangups that pretty much ensures he will never get a date, regardless of whether he is 5'10", 6'10" or anywhere in between. The first step on the road to progress is to lose his virginity, and the way to do that is P4P. A guy who can't even get a date in the US, much less get sex or a long-term relationship is very unlikely to do much better in Europe. In the Philippines, sure, his shyness and sexual hangups won't be a problem. The girls will do all the work. But then we all know that these girls are basically semi-pros, right? So we're back to P4P.
The truth is depressing, but depression is merely one stage on the path to progress: Denial, Anger, Bargaining (trying to find a loophole in the truth so as to evade its implications), Depression, Acceptance. Once we accept the truth, we can then devise a plan that will work in light of this truth we have accepted. Denying the truth means that our actions will be ineffective. Denying the truth provides temporary comfort, but long-term pain. All you are doing is setting up Lozoman to be a 30-year-old virgin, then a 40-year-old virgin, then a 50-year-old virgin, etc.
Saint Paul, Minnesota must be a very special corner of the USA. Only 300.000 people living there. It is true that smaller cities in USA often look nice, lot of greenery, plenty of space and offer a good quality of life, etc. - But 'beautiful slender women'...???
About prostitution, opinions are divided, some men and women disagree, others consider it as a part of life and nothing special about it. In some countries it is perfectly legal. Prostitutes are even paying income-tax in return of health insurance cover and retirement allowance, in other countries people connected with prostitution might be sent to jail...
About advice from members to another members, we all have different opinions. We share our negative but also positive experience using this forum, telling other men what happened to us, how and why we feel badly treated by some certain women.
Other men might have similar - but NOT exactly the same problems - with women. Their advice and how they deal with such a situation is therefore not the same. - This forum is merely about exchanging opinions, the idividual has to decide himself, what might be good for him and what not.
Women are not the same everywhere. Women living in different parts of this world make clearly different decisions using different criteria when judging men for a long-term relationship.
In Western countries a woman will likely complain, if a man is not drinking alcohol and not interested in nightlife. Too boring.
I never met however a woman in Philippines and here in Japan who told me the same, more just the opposite, to refrain from alcohol as man is welcome and even admired by Asian women.
In Japan many men have a serious gambling problem. No woman I ever met in Japan told me that betting is 'excitement'.
To be a thug will result in marriage proposals while in jail by plenty of psycho-girls in USA and Europe, but not here in Asia. To be without criminal record and holding a stable job - longterm employment - is much appreciated.
Interesting but not mentioned yet in this thread is the situation of a 'single mother' - which is nowadays the usual life-style in Western countries. 'Respected brave woman' - 'Family planning by abortion as a life-style' supported with alimony, child-support, free government housing and various social services while family means a single mother and HER children. Fathers ignored, almost not existent, except for payments.
But here in Japan and in many other Asian countries too, a single mother is in no good position - there is almost no public support at all - no government housing, no child support, no alimony.
The Japanese law is rather on the side of the second husband/stepfather, who is willing to give it a try.
As follow-up husband you can feel safe. There is no visitation right for the ex-husband, the children are subject to discipline to the new stepfather only, and if the relationship is breaking up again, you are owning them nothing. Just move out, you will never be kept financially responsible for this wife and her children by the Japanese authorities.
Single mothers and their children are frequently without support from their own relatives, and are often living below the Japanese standard. Same is true in other Asian countries. They are known to be very grateful if they find a good man who takes care of them and often willing to relocate. Even without marriage contract. Legally seen, unlike Western countries, co-habitation is not equal to marriage almost everywhere in Asia.
What might be terrible marriage material in Western countries - the typical single mom - is not bad at all here in Japan.
Same of course also with men, what Western women might reject, will fit perfectly to what a woman in Philippines is looking for.
It takes a while to learn about such differences through experience, travels to abroad and personal contacts with foreigners.
What was impossible for me in Europe, was easy for me in Japan, and my wife was not a financially desperate mail-order-bride, not a single mother, and never was around with boyfriends.
Last edited by MarcosZeitola on December 6th, 2014, 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.